Time could cease to exist
by IwishEdwardwasreal
Summary: In most fanfics Edward comes back to Bella. But what if Bella had gone after Edward? What if she was stronger than she ever dreamed possible? Would you just let the love of your life go without a backward glance? Not this Bella. Please R
1. Chapter 1

Bella

This whole thing would never have happened if I had been driving my truck. But, of course, it was in the shop with some unnamed malady that was sure to cost me lots of money to repair. Angela had lent me the use of her Sentra until my truck was fixed, saying that since Ben brought her to and from school and drove her everywhere else, there was no point in me being without a ride while her car sat unused. Angela was such a good, sweet person and I felt lucky to have her as my friend.

I was driving through the green light at Marshall and Vanderbilt when I heard the squeal of the tires. A huge logging truck was running the red light, coming at me from the passenger side of the car, its brakes locked. The driver was staring at me, eyes wide with shock and terror. I could see that there was no way for him to stop before he hit me. I felt the impact in the next second. It felt like a battering ram. The truck continued to push the car to the left, through the intersection. The airbag deployed, pushing my head back, slamming it into the headrest. I heard the sound of squealing metal and glass shattering, but with the airbag in my face I couldn't see a thing.

I felt something hit me very hard on the right side. It felt like what I imagined being hit by a bull feels like. The impact sucked the breath from my body and I felt a searing pain in my lungs and ribs.

The car came to a sudden stop and there was silence except for my desperate gasps for air and the rumble of a diesel engine very close by. Suddenly I heard the excited shouts of people somewhere to my left. I thought it was the airbag obstructing my view but then I realized that I had my eyes squeezed tightly shut. I felt something warm and wet trickling down the left side of my face. Great, I thought. Bleeding again. The nausea did not bother me this time though, probably because the pain all over was too intense for me to focus on the smell of the blood.

I heard something knocking on the window to my left and saw the twisted face of a stranger looking at me. As I stared, I realized that it was not a stranger at all; it was Reverend Weber, Angela's father. He must be terrified that Angela was in the car, I thought absently. I thought I heard him say that they were working to get me out but my head was spinning at this point and I could not be sure. I felt the darkness enter in at the edges of my vision and fought to keep my eyes open and my head as clear as possible.

There was more shouting now and the sound of sirens getting closer. Something was still pressing hard into my right side. It held me against the driver side door and made it hard for me to breathe. With some effort I looked to the right and saw that it was a log, about seven to eight inches in diameter. It was stuck through the passenger side window. It must have slipped loose from the load at impact and momentum had carried it through the window into me. I looked at it in a daze.

My head wasn't getting any clearer but I found that I was able to register pain a little more clearly. My arms were hurting, burning. I looked down and saw several large gashes on my both my arms. One on my right went from the back of my hand almost to my elbow and blood was coming out in a steady stream. The nausea got stronger so I focused my thoughts elsewhere. Except for a few ribs it didn't feel like I had broken anything, a bit of good luck after all.

I heard a sound to my left and I almost fell out of the car as the driver's side door was pulled away abruptly. A pair of strong arms caught me and I looked up at the firefighter's face as he carefully lowered me to the ground. Things seemed to happen quickly then. I could not really understand the babble of their voices; the nausea and the darkness were warring inside me for control and it took most of my concentration to fight them both back. From far away I seemed to hear Charlie's panicked voice though I did not understand the words. I managed to say "I'm fine" before I lost consciousness.

I was floating. At least, that's what it felt like. I had no sense of my own weight; no sense of my arms and legs. My mind seemed to work fine and my eyes and ears worked but I had no other senses.

I seemed to be in a large grey space, though I had no idea how I had gotten there. I could not see walls or the ceiling and even the floor seemed nonexistent beneath me. There was a soft white mist around me. Suddenly the mist started to swirl and I felt myself pulled forward by some unseen force. It felt like I was swirling around too so I closed my eyes to keep from getting dizzy.

I came to a sudden stop and opened my eyes. I looked around and realized that I was in the cafeteria of Forks High School. How had that happened? No one looked in my direction and I had no voice to speak. I could only watch and listen. I seemed to be hovering a few feet above everyone's head. Out of curiosity I looked towards my regular table and was startled to see myself sitting there. But it wasn't _me_ because I was _here_. The scene was vaguely familiar to me and I realized that this was a replay of my first day of school in Forks. Automatically I looked over to the Cullen's table. They looked the same as always, pale and perfect, sitting together quietly and not eating.

I saw Edward lift his head and look in the direction of my memory self and saw her blush when she realized she was staring.

Suddenly I was pulled again into the "vortex" and when I opened my eyes again I was in the Biology classroom. I saw the other me walk by Edward and saw him stiffen. Even though I knew the reason why now, I was still shocked by the hate and revulsion that seemed to pour out of him.

I was pulled again to the cafeteria to the day he came back after that first day in Biology. I saw him looking at me with that familiar frustrated look. I knew now it was because he could not read my thoughts. Then we were back in class and he was speaking to me for the first time. I saw the whole thing happen again with perfect clarity, except now I was the observer and not the participant. It was strange seeing it all happen again, watching both of our expressions as we spoke.

The memories started coming faster now, no sooner had one ended than the next began, though the memories themselves played out in regular time.

The parking lot when he saved me. The hospital. That day in Biology when he started speaking to me again. The next day at the lunch table. Blood typing. Port Angeles. Dinner and then the drive home. Our trip to the meadow and everything that happened that day. Visiting his home. Playing baseball. The encounter with James. Everything that happened in Phoenix. The prom. I relived every memory that I had ever had with Edward. It felt like a lifetime had passed; it felt like a second had passed.

The memories ended like a fade out in a movie and I was back in the grey space again. I could still see Edward's face, though it was blurred and fading and I panicked at the thought of losing even that indistinct image of him. Seeing him again in my memories reminded me of how it felt to be with him. The wonder, the fascination and the exhilaration I always felt when we were together. Seeing all of our moments together, complete and in succession, I realized how short the time we had spent together had been. It had seemed longer. My life had altered so completely when Edward entered it that it seemed as though I had not existed until I met him. It felt like he had always been a part of me; that's why I felt so empty now that he was gone. He had taken parts of me with him. I needed those pieces back. I needed Edward. Needed him like I needed oxygen. I had to have more time with him. At that moment I realized that no matter what it took or what it would cost me emotionally or otherwise I had to see Edward again. Being with him was elemental to my existence. There was no way I could _not_ try to find him. It was a compulsion that had to be met. I knew I would have to fight. Fight my own doubts and insecurities. Fight for the only person in the entire world who made my life worth living. Fight for Edward. I hoped I was strong enough.

The grey room started to swirl around me again and I closed my eyes.

I woke up in a darkened room that smelled vaguely of antiseptic. I knew that smell. A hospital. I had been in enough to know the smell by heart. My eyes were still closed. I did not seem to have enough strength to open them. My mind was not completely clear either and I struggled to remember why I was here this time. Ah yes, the accident. I started to register my surroundings though my eyes remained closed. There was a rhythmic beeping somewhere to my left that seemed to be keeping time with my heart and a soft dripping sound to my right. I heard soft even breathing and registered for the first time that someone was holding my hand. Someone whose hand was cold and hard.

My eyes flew open and sitting next to the bed was the most beautiful sight I had seen in four months. Alice was holding my hand, a calm expression on her lovely face, and staring down at me with her liquid gold eyes. She was just as stunning as I remembered.

"Alice!" I croaked. My throat felt dry and scratchy.

"I'm so glad you are finally awake", she trilled in her wind chime voice.

My mind couldn't grasp that she was here.

"Alice, what are you doing here? I thought you and Jasper were in Denali."

"Well, we were, but I had a vision of your accident and I couldn't see the outcome. I left and got here as soon as I could to see what happened." Her lovely mouth turned down at the corners.

"You couldn't see the outcome?" I was shocked at the revelation. "Why not?"

"I'm not sure really, though it probably has something to do with the coma you were in. Because there was no way of knowing if you would come out of it or not, there was no way of seeing what your future was." She sounded frustrated.

"I was in a coma?" I asked, aghast at the thought. "For how long?"

"Only three days, not very long at all." She was nonchalant.

It could be worse I supposed. My "dream" was so vivid in my mind. It had seemed like so much longer as I had watched the happiest time of my life unfold before me.

I sighed with relief, "That's not too bad I guess. How badly was I hurt?"

"Bruised from head to toe, which is pretty normal for you." She grinned then continued more seriously. "You lost over half your blood they said. You have four broken ribs and your lung collapsed from the impact of the log. You have some pretty deep gashes on your arms that needed a lot of stitches and a deep cut on your forehead. Other than that, mostly just superficial scratches from the glass. You were very lucky."

As she spoke I looked down at myself. I saw the gashes on my arms; she was right about the stitches. I looked down at the IV in my right hand and groaned. I knew what the dripping sound was now.

"What is it? What's the matter?" Alice asked in alarm.

"Ugh, needles," I said, lifting my right hand for her to see.

She laughed her tinkling laugh and shook her head. "Bella you were very nearly killed in a major accident and you are worried about an IV?" She shook her head again.

My mind was becoming a little clearer as we spoke. I looked around the room for the first time. There was a window to my left with the curtains half drawn. It was daylight outside, though of course it was overcast and drizzly. In front of me there was a television mounted about six feet off the floor; it was on but the sound was muted. The only light on was the one above my bed but a little light came in through the window. I looked around and realized that something or rather someone was missing.

"Where is Charlie?" I asked.

"He and Renee and Phil are downstairs getting something to eat. Since I was here they felt more comfortable going. They were worried that you would wake up all alone. The doctor left just before you woke up. I'm glad you finally did. Not being able to see what would happen was very frustrating and was giving me a headache." Her perfect brow furrowed.

"Vampires can get headaches?"

"Well, not technically, but trying to decipher your future when I was not sure if you had one was difficult. It was only a little while ago when I could see you again."

"What happened just before I woke up?" I still could not believe I had been in a coma. It had felt like a vivid dream; I remembered everything. Especially the decision I had made.

"The doctor was in, checking on your progress. It was while I was talking to him that I started to see you again, so maybe it was my voice that woke you up." She laughed; it sounded like a bell. "I'm a miracle worker!"

"You are indeed, Alice." I said, laughing with her, and then wincing at the pain in my ribs. I was starting to register the pain for the first time, though it felt duller than it should have. They must have me pumped full of pain killers.

"Where are the rest of the Cullens?" I was desperate for news of Edward. He was my goal now and I needed all the information I could get if I was going to find him. I was not sure how to bring up my decision to Alice though.

"Carlisle, Esme and Jasper are still in Denali. And Rose and Emmett are somewhere in Africa on their "honeymoon", though most think that they are at Dartmouth." She paused, probably wondering if she should mention Edward.

I decided to help her out. "And…Edward? Where is he?" I held my breath and waited for the answer.

"The last time I talked to him he was in South America." She examined me closely, but I kept my face impassive. South America. This was going to be even more difficult than I thought. And I already thought it would be impossible. I was going to need some help with this. I could only hope Alice would agree.

"You should know that I am breaking a promise to him right now." She said, apologetically.

"What promise?"

"He made me promise not to upset or bother you." She was contrite now.

"Oh, Alice you are not bothering me! I am so happy to see you here. I have been so lonely since all of you left." I didn't have to say Edward's name for her to know that he was the one I missed the most; Alice was my close second. She was exasperating and as hyperactive as a squirrel on espresso but I loved her.

"I'm happy to see you again too. I was worried that it would cause you more pain to have me around; that it would remind you of…before. But it felt right to come here."

"I'm glad you did. You are exactly the person I need to see right now." She looked quizzical at the slightly desperate tone of my voice.

I was not sure how to broach the subject of my coma/dream to her without sounding crazy. I needed her help if I was going to find Edward but I needed to know too if I was hoping in vain.

"Alice, have you ever heard of people "dreaming" while they are in a coma?" I squirmed inwardly. It sounded so silly.  
She seemed surprised by my question. Then I saw her face go blank for a moment. It was the same face she always had when she was having a "vision" of the future. A second later her eyes refocused. She gasped and her butterscotch eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"You are going to find Edward!" she trilled. Well, that solved the problem of asking her. Psychics could be so convenient.

"I want to, but I am not sure how to go about it or even if it is a good idea." The last words he had spoken to me resonated in me with perfect clarity. Was I being stupid now? Allowing my dream to overrule my common sense? What if I couldn't find him? What if he broke my heart again? I crushed those thoughts with a vengeance. I had made this decision and I would stick to it. I _was_ strong enough to do this. I could tell that this was going to become my mantra. Be strong. Just do it. Great, now I was an ad for Nike.

"Of course you should!" She was practically bouncing with excitement now. "Wow, we need to shop and to get you a plane ticket and-."

"Alice! Alice! Wait a minute!" I had to rein her in. "What about Edward? I mean he already told me he didn't love me anymore, that he didn't want me. Is it stupid to go after him now, after all this time? Is this a good idea, trying to find him? How can I convince him to change his mind? To love me again? What if he still doesn't want me?" I could hear the desperation in my voice and tried control it. Be strong, I told myself.

"Bella, trust me, this is a good idea." She must have read the indecision on my face. She squeezed my hand encouragingly.

"I know that Edward hurt you when he left but he had his reasons. I also know that he still loves you." I wanted to believe that so much but his words in the forest were still etched in my mind. Why would he have left if he loved me?

"All it will take is for him to see you again to realize that you are still all he ever needs and wants. That leaving you was a huge mistake. This will work, I promise. If I am wrong you can come back and cut up all my credit cards."

That was practically a promise written in blood as far as Alice was concerned.

"What were his reasons, Alice?" I could think of nothing important enough to justify having my heart ripped out.

"You will have to have him explain that himself. I have really already said more than I am sure he wants me to. It is better coming from him anyway. I will say that he has never, ever stopped loving you." I wanted to believe that more than anything in the whole world.

Alice seemed so sure that I felt hopeful for the first time since making my decision. Now it was time to plan.

"So what is the best way to go about this? I mean, I have never been farther than Albuquerque in my life."

"Hmmm, you will need a passport, unless you already have one?" At my nod she continued. "We will have to come up with a story to tell Charlie about why you are leaving the country."

Charlie. I had forgotten about him. It would have to be a good story to convince him to let me leave the country, especially since I could not tell him the real reason that I was going. I hoped Alice had some ideas; my mind was blank.

"I've got it!" Alice exclaimed. "It is going to take a while for you to heal enough to travel anyway and by that time school should be out for summer vacation. I will tell Charlie that you, Jasper and I are going to do some volunteer work abroad. You know, to fluff out your college applications. He won't object if he thinks we're traveling with you. And work in foreign countries is always so much more impressive than volunteering at the local soup kitchen. He will agree." She was perfectly confident. I knew that even if she was not psychic that she would know his response. Charlie loved Alice and could not deny her anything, especially when she made up her mind to be persuasive.

"What do you mean, _thinks _your traveling with me? You mean you're not?" I was abruptly terrified. Wandering around in a foreign country where I didn't know anyone and barely spoke the language was my idea of a nightmare.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. I'll travel with you until you get to where you need to be. Then the rest should be fairly easy. It is better for you to see Edward, and more importantly for him to see you, without me there." If he had made her promise to stay away from me I could just imagine how furious he would be to see us together. I _would_ have to do this alone but I knew Alice would take care of me. She really did have my best interests at heart and not just Edward's or her own.

I felt a little better but still worried about the prospect of seeing Edward again. And I was not sure what _fairly easy_ meant but I _was_ sure it would be a lot harder to find him than Alice thought.

"Jasper is coming too?" I had not really thought about Jasper since my birthday. Not because I was angry or resentful; I had not really thought about anything since Edward had left. I had been a complete mental zombie. I realized now that I had never felt any bitterness or ill will towards Jasper. I knew that he had a hard time with his chosen lifestyle and that he had acted completely out of instinct.

"It might take a little bit of convincing on my part but I think he will agree. He was against my coming here. He thought I was interfering, which is true, but I _had_ to see how you were." She paused, looking hesitant.

"What is it Alice?" My mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusion: she had changed her mind and wasn't going to help me.

"Well, I was thinking about Jasper." I almost sighed with relief at her words.

"What about him?"

"Are you, well, are you afraid of him? Of being around him? It would only be natural after what happened and I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Oh, no, Alice! I'm not uncomfortable." I rushed to reassure her, and then winced when I moved to fast and my ribs ached. "I have never blamed Jasper. I have always known that in his heart he would never wish me harm. If I hadn't cut my stupid finger, he would never have had reason to lose control. You all work so hard to control that side of your nature. Harder than I can ever imagine. It's more my fault than his anyway; only I could manage to hurt myself opening a present."

"Bella, none of this is your fault! It was an accident, pure and simple. Jasper feels so completely wretched over what happened. He hates himself for losing control and is so mortified that he might have actually killed you. He could not even stand to be around Edward after we left. He could not face looking at him knowing this was all his fault."

"Well, I never considered it his fault and if you don't consider it _my_ fault then we will call it even." I smiled at her. She seemed to relax a little, now that she knew I was not afraid of Jasper.

"Jasper will be so happy when you bring Edward home. He has missed him so much. We argued a lot, Jasper and I, before I left. He didn't think I should thrust myself back into your life, even to see how you were. But, now that I know that you want to find Edward, I know that coming here was the right decision. I know that you of all people can bring him home." She was perfectly confident.

I wasn't so sure but I had made up my mind to try at least. Alice had given me hope again, something that I had not felt in a really long time and I was clinging to it with all my might. She had planted the seed in my head that Edward still loved me and might want me after all. It was up to me to cultivate that seed or let it die. I_ had_ to know, once and for all. If he rejected me again, well, I would deal with that. Finally put him aside and live my life the way I should. I knew that I could _not_ continue to go on the way I had in the last four months. Being a walking zombie was not the way I wanted to live the rest of my life. If I got hurt this time it would be my fault, but not knowing would hurt me more. I would forever wonder "what if".

"Can you maybe look ahead, to see what Edward will do?" I needed some kind of reassurance to cling to besides her confidence.

"Hmm, not really, I'm sorry. All I can see is your decision to go but not his decision if you find him. You know I can only see the path people are on while they are on it. Since he has made the decision to stay away that is the only path I see him on right now."

"I see. Well, it would have been nice to know if I was about to make a huge fool of myself." I tried to laugh but it hurt my ribs. It wasn't really funny anyway.

"Bella, I know Edward. This will work, trust me."

"I will do my best. Thanks for understanding Alice."

"I still consider you my sister, Bella. I will do anything I can to make you happy. And I know that this will make _both_ of you happy."

I felt tears form in my eyes at her words. No one ever had a better sister than I did in Alice. But before I speak, the door of the hospital room opened quietly and I saw my mother poke her head in.

She saw that I was awake and practically ran into the room.

"Bella! Oh sweetie, you're finally awake! I was so worried! Charlie called me when you had the accident and I flew here as soon as I could. The doctors didn't know when you would wake up and we have all been sick with worry." She reached down and gingerly gave me a hug, being careful of the multitude of wires that were attached to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice get up and move to the other side of the room, giving my mother the chair next to the bed.

No sooner had she sat down than Charlie came in.

"Bella!" he exclaimed. I could see the sharp relief on his face. "You gave us quite a scare there, kiddo." His voice was gruff but I could hear the concern under the surface. I reached out, took his hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. Neither Charlie nor I were good at expressing our feelings but this small gesture seemed to be enough.

"Sorry, Dad. You know I have always had the worst luck." I smiled gently at him. He seemed to relax a little, seeing me smile.

I hoped my luck was getting better. I would need all the luck in the world to make this plan of mine work.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N sorry if there are multiple updates to this! I am still learning how to navigate the site and I swear it is like giving a monkey a calculus book sometimes--lots to see in there but no idea what to do with it!**

**Disclaimer: I, to my absoulute horror and pain, do not own Twilight. But I get a kick out of manipulating the people in it! *cue scary music***

Edward

I wasn't sure exactly where I was. Somewhere in South America I thought. I couldn't remember how long I had been here. I did know that I was in a jungle of some kind. I heard the screech of tropical birds and the sounds of large predators moving through the bush, seeking their prey. Somewhere to my right I could hear the clacking sounds of a colony of ants moving up and over a dead tree that had fallen about twenty feet away. The lush canopy of trees above me blocked out most of the light and it was dark and cool under where I was sitting, leaning back against a tree with my arms wrapped around my knees. The smell of rich earth and vegetation assaulted my senses and I was inundated by all the sounds of life around me.

Here I could let my mind wander, to try to decipher all of them. It was the reason I had come here, to find a way to distract myself from the misery I was in. To try to occupy my mind so that I could not think about _her_. I knew though, that it would only be a fleeting comfort. There was nothing that could truly distract me from the emptiness that was my life now. That is what I was, empty. There was nothing left in me, no joy, no happiness, no meaning, no purpose. The only thing I felt now was pain. Despair seemed to be my constant state now. It was inescapable.

The only comfort that I had was knowing that Bella was safe. That she had the chance to live a full life, a life without the horror of what I was. I was a monster and being involved with me only brought Bella closer and closer to danger. I could not bear to see her hurt by my world. Seeing her broken in the ballet studio and then so pale and fragile in the hospital in Phoenix-I shuddered at the memories. All the pain she had suffered was because of me. Because of what I was-inhuman, a fiend. She was too good, too pure to have to endure that pain. She deserved to live her life without being in constant jeopardy. She should have a full life, a happy life. It was the only thing that kept me from going back. She should be happy, no matter what it cost me.

The longer I was away from her though, the harder it was to convince myself of the reasons I was staying away. I wanted her to be safe and happy but when was Bella ever safe? She drew danger to her like a lodestone. The only thing I could protect her from now was myself, from the monster that I was. But what about all the other dangers that there were for her out there? There was no way to keep her safe from them from so far away.

I growled in frustration. It was becoming harder and harder to stay away. I wanted to know that she was alright. I missed her, needed her. But I also needed her to be safe. The two needs were almost impossible to reconcile. There was so much out there that could hurt her, so many terrible things that could happen to her. But being with me, around my kind was dangerous too. Her birthday was proof of that. Not just because of Jasper either. The scent of her blood had almost overwhelmed me too. I had wanted so badly at that moment to drink her blood that it would have consumed me too if I did not love her so much. I had to stay away, for her sake. What I wanted didn't matter. If she was safe and happy I could survive. But only just.

Maybe I could check on her? She wouldn't know I was there. Just to see if she was happy. The thought filled me with hope but I smothered it immediately. No, no, no. I had to stay away. It was the best thing for her. I had made this decision and I had to see it through, for her. What was my pain anyway? Nothing compared to her happiness. I could take any agony in the world but not Bella being unhappy.

I had to stop this train of thought, think of anything else before I went insane, though it felt like I already was sometimes. My twin desires battled within me-being with Bella versus Bella's wellbeing-and my mind was becoming a casualty of war.

I tried to distract myself by thinking about my family, about what they were doing now. They were more than likely still in Denali with Tanya's family. I hadn't wanted them to have to leave everything behind when I left Forks but Carlisle had been firm.

"Edward, we are a family and families support each other." He had said. "If one of us has a problem then we all work together to fix it. If leaving is what you need then we will go with you." I could hear in his thoughts that he did not agree with the decision I had made. Carlisle wanted me to be happy and he knew that being with Bella was the first time I truly had been in over ninety years.

_Are you sure this is what you want, Edward? _He had thought. _Is this truly the best solution? I know that her safety is your utmost concern, but is this the only way? She loves you Edward and I know you love her. I can only see this causing pain for the both of you. _I hadn't had anything to say to that. I knew how much pain leaving would cause me.

Alice had been harder to convince. She loved Bella too and did not want to leave her any more than I did.

_Edward, I don't understand. I know you love her, how can you leave her?_

"I have to Alice. It's the only way I know she will be safe from what I am."

_Jasper feels so horrible about what happened. This is going to make it worse. He is going to think that you are leaving because of him._

"He knows that I don't blame him for what happened. I know, probably more than anyone except you, what a struggle it is for him. It just brought into focus all the dangers that Bella is in from being around our kind. From the first moment I realized I loved her, Alice, I knew I would have to leave her one day, for her own safety. It has only been my selfishness that has kept me here this long."

_You are the most unselfish person I know Edward, what are you talking about?_

"I _have_ been selfish, Alice. I have stayed with her this long because I could not bear the thought of leaving her. It's very painful to do it now. But Bella's wellbeing is my most important concern. I can't let what I want put her in danger again. I can't allow her to be hurt again by exposure to our world."

_What about what Bella wants? We can all tell how very much in love with you she is. What about the pain it will cause her when you leave?_

My cold, dead heart had twisted at that. I knew it would cause her pain when I left and I could not stand the thought. But I knew it was dangerous for her to exist in my world. Heartache would heal but death was permanent.

"It's what has to be done, Alice, for her sake. I want you to promise me that you will not bother her. She doesn't need reminders of me after I leave, it will only make it harder for her. Promise me."

_I promise that I will not do anything that will upset her. There, satisfied?_

She had gotten up and left then, off to find Jasper. I knew that was the only promise that I would get from her.

We had left the next day, after I had spoken to Bella in the forest. I would not allow myself to remember that right now; the pain was still too fresh, even though it had been over four months ago. Perhaps in a decade I might be able to look at that moment objectively, though I doubted it. Perhaps in a century, or in a millennia.

I had not been able to stay very long in Denali with my family. Rosalie and Emmett were off on another honeymoon and it was only Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper who had traveled with me. But being around them was difficult. Hearing how careful they were when they spoke or thought to me, how they acted as if I would shatter at any moment was wretched. More so because I _did_ feel like I would shatter.

Tanya's family had been kind. They were upset about how depressed I was and had tried to find ways to cheer me up, but their attempts had only made me feel worse. There was nothing that would cheer me up and it had upset me to see them so dismayed. I'd had to get away. At first I simply ran. I came back every few weeks, to check in and let them know I was okay but being there, seeing how happy they were to see me and how terrible they felt at how much I was still suffering had been more than I could stand. After a few months I stopped coming back at all. I checked in by phone but kept the conversations short. I knew that I was hurting everyone, Esme especially, but it hurt too much to be around them.

I could see the sky darken through the thick branches overhead and I knew that it would soon be nighttime in the jungle. I got up and made my way back to the small cottage that I was staying in, just on the outskirts of the city. Rio, I remembered now. My phone vibrated suddenly in my pocket. I pulled it out and sighed when I saw who was calling.

"Hello Alice." My voice was lifeless.

"Edward, how are you?" she trilled.

The question did not justify an answer. She knew how I was. Miserable.

"What do you want, Alice?" I asked wearily.

"So I see that you are still in Rio." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"When are you going to get tired of this, Edward?" I knew she meant my resolve to stay away from Bella. It made me angry. I would _not _break my promise.

"You're the psychic," I said rudely. "You tell me."

She ignored that. "Well, I don't see you coming home for a while, but I miss you Edward." Her voice was sad.

"I miss you too, Alice. But coming home now won't do any good, not for me or for anyone else. I'm…well I'm not fit to be around right now." I spent most days curled up in a ball trying not to think, not to feel. It didn't make me the best company.

"Well, I'll see when you change your mind I guess. Just take care of yourself, please? For me?" Her voice was pleading now. It hurt me to know how much pain I was causing her. Alice and I had always been close and we had always looked out for each other.

"I will, Alice. I promise. I'm glad you called. It is nice to hear your voice again."

"You too, Edward. Bye, I love you."

"I love you too. Bye." I closed the phone.

I sank down on the bed and closed my eyes, wishing for the oblivion of sleep. I did not move for a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but if I had enough money I might rent it! Just for a day!**_

_Two months later…_

Bella

I sat at a small table under an umbrella. The air was warm though the sun was hidden behind a deep layer of clouds. There was a fountain behind me, taking up a generous portion of the courtyard I was sitting in. The water burbled in a peaceful way, mingling with the conversations of the tourists and locals who sat, watching passersby. The courtyard was large. One half of it was filled with tables like the one I sat at. Only about half of those tables were full. The other was open, making room for street performers who entertained groups of tourists. The courtyard was busy but not crowded and the atmosphere was almost festive. It was early afternoon.

I watched my surroundings but I saw none of it. I was trying to keep myself calm, to listen to the soft sounds of the fountain, tried to keep my thoughts from running rampant; trying to focus on why I was here. I was here to find Edward. I had been here for a week, looking for him, hoping to find him, to see his face one more time.

Just the thought of seeing him again made my heart swell with anticipation and panic. I was panicked at the thought of him seeing me, wondering what his reaction would be. Would he be angry? Would he be mad that I had followed him here? He had made it clear that he did not want me. Alice had told me that Edward had his reasons for telling me goodbye but that he had never stopped loving me. Could I believe that though? What if Alice was wrong? What if he _had _stopped loving me and I was just an annoyance to him now? Would he turn me away? Maybe not even speak to me at all? I didn't know the answers to those questions.

I did know that my courage was faltering the longer it took to find him. I was not sure I could face that same cold face that I saw that day in the forest. The more I sat and thought about what his reaction would be the more I felt like a fool. I had not changed since his absence. I was still nothing special and he was still the most amazing person I had ever met. Why would he want me now? The decision to come here had felt so _right_ when I had first made it after the accident. The need to see him, to either confirm what Alice said (and my heart so desperately needed) or to see once and for all that he did not want me, was so strong that it had propelled me to do something I never would have thought I had to courage to do. To come here to find him after he had turned me away. Now my resolve was wavering. Was I strong enough to have my heart ripped out again? Was I brave enough to give him that power again?

I had just about decided to get up and go back to my hotel and pack when I saw him. He was about twenty yards away, walking into the courtyard from my left. He was walking slowly, shoulders hunched, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was just as glorious as the first moment I had laid eyes on him in the cafeteria all those months ago. His gorgeous bronze hair was still as disheveled as always and the long, lean line of his body was emphasized by the dark t-shirt he wore. His pale skin seemed to glow even under the cloudy sky. I looked closely at his face, rememorizing his features. My memories did not do him justice. He was still so beautiful it hurt to look at him. My eyes took in the strong line of his jaw, his angular cheekbones and full firm lips. The circles under his eyes seemed darker than usual and I wondered idly when he had hunted last. I realized as I stared at that he looked…_sad?_ His angel face was drawn into a scowl and the few people who looked his way looked away quickly, unnerved by him in a way they did not understand but instinctively feared.

I sat, frozen. I wasn't sure what I should do. Call out to him? Wait for him to notice me? In a few moments he would be on the other side of the courtyard, where I could not see him. What if I was not able to find him again? I panicked, trying to decide what to do, when the decision was taken out of my hands. To my right there was a loud up-swell of voices as two men argued. Their fight got louder and louder until it came to blows, one man pushing the other over the low edge of the fountain. My eyes remained fixed on Edward, not wanting to miss even a moment of him and I saw his head turn towards the commotion, seemingly without thought. He took in the sight of the two men and then his eyes flickered to the left, in my direction, as if bored. His eyes caught mine and he froze and I felt the blush warming my cheeks.

I don't know how long we stared at each other, time seemed to stop, and without conscious thought I felt my mouth curve up into a smile and my eyes soften with welcome. This seemed to shock him, his mouth actually fell open. I was about to get up, to move towards him when I saw him blink hard and lock his jaw. He turned his head and continued to walk quickly across the courtyard.

I sat there, frozen, unable to move a muscle. What did that mean? Was Alice wrong? Did he really not want me after all? Was he angry that I was here, stalking him as it were? What should I do now? There seemed no point in staying now. He didn't want me, he would never want me. Alice was wrong, I was wrong, coming here was wrong. I should leave now. That idea caused me pain even as I thought it. I could not bear leaving now that I had seen him again. I wanted to sit here forever, just for the chance to see his face again. But what if he left Rio? Would I follow him all over the world, just for a glimpse of him? In my heart I knew that I would even as I understood that I couldn't. So where did that leave me now? Should I stay or should I go? These thoughts swirled around in my head as I sat there.

I don't know how much time passed. I was numb with shock and pain, trying to decide what to do. That Edward didn't want me was obvious; what I was going to do now wasn't. Going back to Forks, seeing Alice again and having to explain; I shuddered at the thought. Alice had been so _sure_. I realized now that I had been confident of her confidence. I thought this would work because she was so sure that it would. I knew that even though I decided to go it was her words that had propelled me to leave. I didn't blame her though. Even though she knew Edward better than anyone, even with her special ability she could not always predict his actions. She could only see what path he was on while he was on it. Since he never intended to see me again there was no way to see what the outcome of this was. He couldn't make a decision about something he never thought would happen in the first place, right?

I knew also how much this was going to hurt me when I got back home. It had not really hit me yet. Being here, in a strange place, there was no way to process the feeling into reality because_ everything_ seemed so unreal. But back under the rain clouds of Forks, in my own home, in my own room, I knew the dark pain would return. It might just swallow me up this time.

"Bella?" It was _his_ voice, calling my name softly. It sent a thrill through me. My head shot up and I looked in the direction of the most beautiful sound in the world.

He was standing there, not five feet from me. I was surprised at the uncertainty in his tone but I was relieved and happy that he had at least decided to talk to me. I knew that the sound of his honeyed voice would haunt me if he turned me away but there was no pain worth missing the beauty of it.

"Edward." I was hesitant to say his name, hoping he would not disappear.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" His voice was soft and incredulous.

I was suddenly terrified of his reaction. I bit my lip, trying to find the courage to say what I wanted and needed to say. _Just do it!_ I thought.

"Well," I paused and gave myself a mental shake. "I came to find you, to bring you back home."

He stood there, looking almost stunned. Then he pulled himself together and asked, "Why?"

I looked up at him and blushed. Would I be able to say the words? I had to. This was the reason I was here. I had to do this now or regret it forever. I took a deep breath.

"Edward, I want you to come back to Forks. I-well I," I stopped and took another deep breath. What would he say? Could I bear that rejection again? I felt my heart start to race at the remembered pain. I had to say this, get it out of the way and let the chips fall where they may. My words were rushed in an effort to say them before my courage failed me.

"I miss you and I love you and I can't bear to be without you anymore. I know that you said you didn't want me but I was hoping that you might change your mind because I still want you, now and forever." I felt the hot blood rush to my cheeks and looked down. I had said what I wanted to say at least. I could only wait for his reaction.

The seconds ticked by and he didn't say anything. I looked up. His perfect face was frozen, immobile. I looked at his expression carefully, trying to read his reaction to my words but there was nothing. He held himself perfectly still. It didn't seem to be a happy reaction. I guess I had been kidding myself all along. He really didn't want me, like he had told me in the forest. It was only me, my pathetic hope that he might change his mind that had brought me and held me here. Well I had no one to blame but myself. I took a deep breath against the pain and let it out in a sigh.

"That's what I thought," I shook my head. If only I had kept this whole scheme a thought and never put it into action. "I knew it I guess, but I was still hopeful." I didn't realize until that moment how hopeful I had been. I felt tears in my eyes but held them back. My lips trembled with the effort. "I'm sorry that I bothered you." More than you will ever know, I sighed to myself.

There was nothing I could do now but leave. I felt my heart burning with the pain but I knew I had to hold it together, at least until I was alone. Then it wouldn't matter. I turned to leave, ready to be gone from here, to go back to my hotel room where I could suffer by myself.

Suddenly I felt an ice cold hand on my shoulder. I was turned around and could only gasp before I was pulled up against his marble hard body. He bent his head toward me and pressed his perfect cold lips to mine. My head was spinning, I forgot how to breathe, how to think. I could only concentrate on his lips moving on mine. I felt my arms go around his neck and my fingers found his soft silky hair. I didn't want this moment ever to end; I could kiss him forever and it would never be enough. I pressed myself against him, trying to move closer, though I didn't see how that would be possible. He held me tighter in response, running his snowy cold hands up and down my back. He pulled his mouth from mine and trailed kisses down my jaw, my throat and into the curve of my neck, whispering my name.

It _felt _like he wanted me. Surely he would not kiss me this way if he was going to turn me away. The Edward I knew would never be that cruel. So he must still feel _something_ for me, right? I allowed myself to hope more than ever.

"Oh, Edward," The words were almost a sigh. I could never catch my breath when he was kissing me. "I've missed you so much."

He put his hands on both sides of my face. I felt his cool hard thumbs caressing my cheeks.

"I've missed you too," He whispered. "More that you can ever know."

My heart swelled to twice its size at his words. He kissed me softly once more then pulled me up against him. I pressed my face against his chest, listening to the ragged sound of his breathing. He seemed just as affected as I was. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I couldn't believe that this wasn't a dream and I didn't want him to disappear. His arms came around me and I felt him press his face into my hair.

We stood that way for a long time, neither of us speaking. I didn't want to move, to break the spell of his arms around me. I felt him press his lips into my forehead and I looked up at him, into his glorious topaz eyes. They were burning down into mine with such intensity I had to catch my breath. I could read the love and joy swirling together in the melted gold depths. Desire too, though that may have been wishful thinking on my part. I couldn't help but to touch his face, to make sure that he was real, make sure I had not lost my mind or that I was imaging all this. He turned his face into my fingertips.

"You are just as beautiful as I remember, more even." said he said in wonder. "I can't believe that you are really here though. _Are_ you really here or have I lost my mind completely?" He really did sound unsure. Unbelievable.

I laughed. I couldn't believe that he might be experiencing any doubt about my existence when I was so awed that he was here with me. I wrapped my arms around him again. "Don't I feel real?" I teased.

"Yes you do." He stroked his smooth fingers down my back. Heaven. "But I don't understand how you _got_ here. How you came to Rio in the first place."

I looked up at him. I wasn't sure how much of Alice's involvement I should tell him, or how angry he would be at her interference. I also was wary of telling him about the catalyst that brought me here. He had always been so overprotective of me; I was sure hearing about the accident would upset him.

"Well, that is kind of a long story and I would rather not go into it here." Better to have him react in private, I thought. "I have a room in a hotel not far from here, maybe that would be better?"

"Of course, let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Of course by now you know I don't own Twilight *sigh* **

Edward

I don't know what drew me out into the open this morning. Maybe I was tired of looking at the same four walls, though I never really saw them anyway. Maybe I could not bear to be alone, with nothing to think about but her. Perhaps being out, among people with their silly insignificant thoughts swirling around me, I might have an hour or two of peace. Ha! Peace! I snorted to myself. The only true peace I had ever known was thousands of miles away from here, in a small rainy town that would forever be my home and that I could never return to.

Perhaps I could go back, I thought before I could help myself. The feeling that rushed through me was so sweet that I almost couldn't breathe. I could go back, just to see. To make sure she was safe and happy.

As soon as the thought came to me I squashed it. I could not do that to her, could not bring the darkness and horror of what I was back into her life. She deserved better than me, she deserved a normal life, not the soulless half life I had.

I walked aimlessly across a large courtyard. I didn't care where I was going or what I was doing. I ignored the clamor of thoughts around me. It washed over me in a buzz of jumbled thought and sound and I made no effort to decipher it. Why? I didn't care. There was no point to it. There was no purpose to anything anymore. It was if all the color had been sucked out of the world. I felt like a shell, as if I had left pieces of myself behind with her. Pieces I knew I could never retrieve. That I would never be worthy enough _to_ retrieve. Bella was too good to be with someone like me and I could never be good enough to deserve her.

A loud argument to my right had me turning my head without conscious thought. Just two stupid human men arguing about some stupid human concern. I didn't care enough to listen to what the argument was about. I was about to turn back, to continue my meandering path across the courtyard when something drew my eyes past them. Then I froze.

My eyes locked with a pair of wide brown eyes. The same warm, melted chocolate eyes that had been haunting me for the last six months. The same eyes I saw in my mind a hundred times a day. It was her face, just as pale and beautiful as I remembered, down to the same blush of roses in her cheeks. As I watched, her lovely full lips drew up into a smile and her eyes softened and grew warmer with welcome and I felt my mouth drop open.

Was this it? I thought. Had I finally snapped? Had I finally pushed my self over the edge into insanity? Was I so desperate for the girl that my subconscious was giving me visions? Delusions? That had to be it. There was no way Bella could be here, that she would _want_ to be here after what I had said to her in the forest that day.

I could still remember the shock and hurt on her face when I told her that I did not want her. I still could not believe how quickly she believed that lie. It still burned me like acid to think of how I hurt her, no matter how much for her benefit it was. But it was excruciating to think of how easily she had believed me. How after so many times of telling her that I loved her that she could so easily believe that I didn't want her. As if I could ever live without her. She was my only reason for existence. I would always love her, always want her.

No, Bella could not want to be with me again, not after what I had done to her. This vision I saw across the courtyard was just that. I was projecting my delusions on strangers, seeing what I wanted to see in a pair of brown eyes or a head of dark hair.

I would not allow my subconscious to rule me. I blinked to dispel the illusion then locked my jaw and very deliberately turned my head and continued my path across the courtyard.

I walked more quickly this time, though still at a human pace. When I reached the end of the courtyard, some masochistic impulse made me turn and look back, just to see if the vision was gone. It wasn't. She was still sitting there, seemingly frozen in place, her face a mask of pain and shock.

Wait, I thought. The thousands of times I had seen her in my mind since I had left she had been happy. I _had _to envision her happy in order to stay away from her. I had never envisioned a Bella who was in pain. What did this mean? Maybe this woman, the one that I had superimposed Bella's face over, was in pain for some other reason. But when I looked closely I could still see Bella's face. Was this really a delusion? What if it _was_ her? But how could that _be_? Without my volition my feet crossed the courtyard towards my vision. I stopped when I was about ten yards away. My vision Bella remained intact. Was it possible then? Was she really here? Why? How would she know where to find me? Only Alice knew where I really was. Alice! That would explain a lot. Had Alice gone back to Forks, even after promising she wouldn't? What had she said to Bella? Did she tell her where I was; tell her to come find me? Why? Alice knew why I left, though she did not agree with my reasons. Would she have interfered, put Bella on a plane to come see me? I could see Alice doing something like that, if she thought it was the right thing to do. But would Bella agree to something like that? Why would she if she thought I didn't want her anymore? Did she still want me? Maybe even still love me? Enough to get on a plane by herself and fly to a country where she did not even speak the language to find me? My silent heart swelled at the idea. How I wished that were true. But how could it be?

As I stood there, still trying to decide if my vision was real or the product of insanity, the breeze picked up and blew across my face. There it was again, the wrecking ball. It hit me just as hard as it had that first day in Biology so long ago. The scent, _her _scent burned through me like wildfire, but this time instead of thirst I burned with longing. Longing for the girl in front of me, the only girl in the world. It _was_ her. She really was here, in Rio, not ten yards from me. How? Why? What did this mean? I had to know; the curiosity burned in me as much as the longing. I had to talk to her, see her face up close. Find out why she was here and if she still loved me.

I crossed the last few yards between us and stopped a few feet away. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing a blue sundress; something Alice must have picked out for her. It tied around her neck and left much of her back bare, swirling down from a high waistline to stop a few inches above her knee. The color brought out the cream of her skin and I could remember how soft and silky that skin was. She had her thick dark hair pulled back into a soft ponytail that trailed down her back. She was the most exquisite thing I had ever seen. Looking at her face I realized she looked sad. Was it from my reaction before I realized that my "vision" was real? I could not bear to see her sad.

"Bella?" I said softly, some part of me still unsure, despite her scent, that it was really her.

Her head shot up and she turned in my direction. Her lovely face registered surprise, then relief then happiness, though there was hesitancy when she spoke.

"Edward."

The sound of her voice saying my name again sent a thrill through me.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" I still could not fully believe it myself.

She bit her lip and looked up at me uncertainly. Seeing her bite her lip reminded my just how soft those lips were and I had to stop myself from pulling her into my arms and pressing my lips to hers.

"Well," she began, hesitant again. "I came to find you, to bring you back home."

I had no words for the feelings that flowed though me. The thought of going home, of being with her, left me dizzy with such happiness that for a moment I was reeling. I pulled myself together with some effort.

"Why?" I asked.

She looked up at me from under the fringe of her lashes and blushed. She bit down on her lip again and took a deep breath.

"Edward, I want you to come back to Forks. I-well I", she stopped and took another deep breath. I could tell that whatever she wanted to say was hard for her. I could hear the sound of her heart accelerate and her next words came out in a rush.

"I miss you and I love you and I can't bear to be without you anymore. I know that you said that you didn't want me but I was hoping that maybe you might change your mind because I still want you, now and forever." Her cheeks were flaming scarlet by the time she finished and she looked down, seemingly unable to look me in the eye now that she had spoken.

For a moment I couldn't breathe. Couldn't speak. I stood there, frozen, trying to decide if I was dreaming. She was speaking the words I so desperately wanted to hear but I couldn't find a coherent thought in my head. I stared at her in shock.

She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes roaming across my face. Then she took a deep breath and sighed.

"That's what I thought," she said, shaking her head ruefully. "I knew it guess, but I was still hopeful." I saw the tears swimming in her eyes and her lower lip trembled. "I'm sorry I bothered you." She sighed again and turned to walk away.

Seeing her about to leave, to be gone from me again, unfroze me in an instant. I could not bear it anymore. I closed the gap between us swiftly, putting my hand on her shoulder and turning her towards me. I heard her gasp as I pulled her up against my body and pressed my lips to hers. She was just as soft and warm as I remembered and her lips were just as silky. I felt her arms snake around my neck and her fingers thread into my hair as she pressed herself more closely to me. I clasped her to me, running my hands up and down the soft skin on her back. I felt her breath against my cheek as I pressed kisses into her jaw, her throat, the curve of her shoulder. I could not help myself as I whispered her name over and over.

"Oh, Edward," she said breathlessly. "I've missed you so much."

I took her face between my hands and brushed the soft smooth skin of her cheeks with my thumbs.

"I've missed you too," I whispered. "More than you can ever know." I brushed my lips against hers once more then pulled her against me. She pressed her face against my chest and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. I laid my cheek against the top of her soft, dark hair and wrapped my arms around her.

I don't know how long we stood there, holding each other. Finally I raised my head and pressed my lips against her forehead. She raised her head and looked at me. I felt all my emotions burning in my eyes and her breath caught with what she saw there. Love, joy, desire all swirled within me and I knew they all showed on my face. She brushed her warm fingertips against my cheek and I turned my face into the caress.

"You are just as beautiful as I remember, more even." I said. She was still breathtaking. "I can't believe that you are really here though. _Are_ you really here or have I lost my mind completely?" Despite having her in my arms, it seemed so unreal that she was here with me.

She laughed, a beautiful sound. "I'm really here." She wrapped her arms around me again and hugged herself to me. "Don't I feel real?" There was laughter in her voice.

"Yes you do," I said, stroking my fingers down her back. "But I don't understand how you _got_ here. How you came to be in Rio in the first place." What could have made her come here? Was it Alice? If not, then what? I had to know.

She looked up at me, her eyes cautious. "Well, that is kind of a long story and I would rather not go into it standing here. I have a room in a hotel not far from here, maybe that would be better?"

"Of course, let's go."


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone that added my story to their Favorite list. I was doing the Alice dance! (Dancing from foot to foot, clapping and saying YAY!). I have uploaded more chapters and I hope you like em'!**

**Of course Stephanie owns Twilight! I am just dipping my spoon in her teacup!**

Bella

We walked across the courtyard, perpendicular to Edward's original path. He reached over and put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side. My heart leapt at his touch and I knew he could hear it, though he did not say anything. I wrapped my arm around his waist and leaned into him as we walked. I was practically bursting with emotion. Hope that I might actually get what I wanted-Edward back in my life. Trepidation because I was not sure how he would react to my story. Edward had always been prone to overreaction and I was not sure what the outcome of this discussion would be. Terror that maybe he might decide once and for all that he did not want to be with me. I still didn't know what the reasons that Alice had mentioned were. Joy that for now, even if it did not last, that I was with him again.

My hotel was only a few blocks from the courtyard. The hotel was small, only four stories and was rather old, though I thought it had character. It was a warm limestone color and had a large maroon awning over the door. We walked through the lobby and past the desk clerk to the stairs. There was no elevator. I led him up to the second floor.

We walked to the end of the hall where my room was and I fished the key out of the pocket of the dress I was wearing. Even though I had cursed Alice for buying and packing it for me, seeing the way Edward's eyes seemed to glow when he looked at me made the torture of wearing it bearable. Not that I had much choice in wardrobe. Alice had somehow managed to take all my clothes out of my suitcase before we left Forks and substitute what she thought was appropriate attire. The only thing in my bags that I recognized was my bag of toiletries. She had even bought me new underwear, something that had made me blush crimson when I had realized it. Everything she packed was so girly and frilly it had been difficult to find anything that was not scary-looking. My lovely sister and I were going to have a long talk.

He followed me inside and I could saw him looking over the room, disapproval marring his smooth brow. I liked it though. The walls were painted a soothing caramel color and the bed was ivory. The dresser and the nightstand were in a dark wood that I did not recognize. The whole room felt comfortable, lived in. There was a largish ivory armchair with an ottoman and a small desk with a wooden chair. A television too but it looked as old as Charlie and I had been afraid to turn it on. The room was clean and the people here were very nice, deciphering my rudimentary Spanish and my hand signals when I needed to communicate with them.

Well, I thought wryly, it's not the Ritz-Carlton but I didn't need a fancy hotel room. Alice had bought me my plane ticket and had given me cash and a rather scary looking black credit card to take care of expenses but that didn't mean that I had to waste money on unnecessary things. I had promised to pay her back, though I was sure that would take a decade, but she had cut off my protests.

"If you bring Edward back," she had said, "then you can call us even." I had mentally scoffed at that. Bringing Edward back had seemed so impossible then. Of course it was only slightly less impossible now. I still had no idea what he really thought about me being here.

I pulled him over to the armchair and pushed him into it. I wasn't ready to sit beside him on the bed yet. It brought back too many memories of all the nights he had laid next to me and sung me to sleep. The chair seemed a safer place to me at the moment. I was not ready to break contact with him though. He sat down and put his feet on the ottoman. I climbed up onto his lap. I leaned into the arm of the chair and hung my legs over the opposite side. He wrapped his cold hard arm around my back and rested his hand on my waist. Then he laid his other hand casually on my leg. His skin was just as cool as I remembered and my skin tingled where he had placed it on my knee. My heart beat faster at his touch. I took a deep breath to calm down and laid my head on his shoulder.

We sat there for a moment but Edward's curiosity could not be contained for long.

"So, are you going to tell me the story now?" I heard curiosity warring with impatience in his voice.

"I am not sure where exactly to begin," I said, biting my lip.

"Well, maybe start with what made you decide to come find me in the first place."

Of course that would make sense, if I wasn't terrified of his reaction.

"Well, just please don't freak out, okay?" I said hopefully.

I felt him tense instantly.

"Why would I "freak out?" T

There was suspicion in his voice.

"You _have_ been known to in the past and I don't want it to happen now. There are parts of the story that you may not like and I am worried about your reaction. Just try and listen in an objective way, alright?" Even as I said it I knew it was impossible but I had to try.

"I will do my best." His body relaxed but it seemed a deliberate action. Not real relaxation but the appearance of it.

"Well, I had thought about coming to find you anyway, but I guess the accident is what finally decided it for me." I felt him go perfectly still beneath me. Not a good sign.

"Accident?" he said, his voice flat. "What happened?"

"About two months ago, I was in a car accident." I tried to say it as matter-of-fact as possible but I was still tense about his reaction.

"How bad was it?" His voice was strained now.

"Pretty bad."

I heard his sharp intake of breath. He knew my habit of downplaying everything. He knew that if I said it was bad it had to be _really_ bad.

"Tell me exactly what happened." I could not even hear the sound of his breath now he was so still.

"Alright," I took a deep breath and plunged on. "Well, I was driving Angela's car because my truck was in the shop being repaired." I waited half a beat for him to say something disparaging about my truck, but he was silent. "I was going through a green light when a log truck ran the red and hit me on the passenger side. Which was a very good bit of luck they tell me." I would have been killed if it had hit me on the driver's side.

"And how badly were you hurt?" I had known he would ask that one, though it was the one question I really did not want to answer.

"I came out pretty well all things considered." I stopped, hoping that would be enough but knowing of course it was not.

"Bella, tell me exactly what your injuries were." His voice was firm and brooked no argument.

"The usual compliment of bruises of course," I smiled ruefully. "I had some scratches from the glass and some pretty bad gashes on my arms and one on my head. They say I lost a lot of blood." I heard him gasp. Might as well get it over with. "I had four broken ribs and my lung collapsed where the log hit me in the side."

"Log? What log?" his velvet voice was soft.

"A log came loose from the load when the truck hit me. It came in through the passenger side window and hit me." I could still remember the pain of the impact. My ribs still twinged me sometimes.

Suddenly I was pulled up tightly to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel his cool breath on my collarbone as he whispered "Oh my God" over and over. I stroked his hair and crooned "its okay, I'm okay" until he raised his head and looked at me. His eyes were agonized. I put my hands on both sides of his face.

"No freaking out, remember? I'm perfectly fine now, okay?" He nodded then his eyes caught sight of the scars on my arms and he froze.

Gingerly, so gingerly I could barely feel his touch, he pulled my hands from his face and held out my arms for inspection. It had taken a lot of stitches for the nearly nine inch gashes and the skin, though healing and closed, was still pink and slightly indented. He took both my hands in one of his and softly traced the scars with his fingertip. I could not read the expression on his face.

"Hey," I said softly, "I'm okay, still here and whole."

He looked up at me and smiled sadly. "I can't stand the thought of you being in pain."

"Well, I was unconscious for most of it. I didn't really know the true extent of my injuries until I came out of the coma." I cringed when I heard him draw in another sharp breath. Damn, I thought. I meant to tell him about the coma more gently than that.

"Coma? You were in a coma?" The words sounded choked. "For how long?"

"Only three days. Not long at all." I echoed Alice's words. "I'm pretty sure it was Alice's voice that brought me out of it."

"Alice was there?" He sounded angry now. I was doing a terrible job telling this story. Everything was coming out wrong, coming out in a way guaranteed to send him into a full fledged freak out.

"Yes, she came when she "saw" me have the accident. She was worried because she could not see what the outcome was, what my condition was." I hoped that he would not be too angry at Alice; she had been my lifeline through all this.

I could see him considering everything I had told him and I stared down at his beautiful hands, still holding both of mine. "You said your accident was two months ago?" he sounded thoughtful.

"Yes, give or take a few days." I wasn't sure what the time frame meant to him but since he seemed a little calmer I wasn't going to push it.


	6. Chapter 6

Edward

We walked across the courtyard. I reached over and drew her to my side and she leaned into my embrace. I still could not believe that she was here, next to me, her soft warm body pressed against mine. I felt lightheaded, dizzy from her presence. She still loved me; even after everything, she loved me and wanted to be with me. Being with her was the greatest happiness I had ever known and I knew now that I could never be parted from her again. I was not strong enough to be without her anymore. The pain that I felt when we were apart told me that. I knew I never, ever wanted to feel that kind of anguish again. I knew that being in my life was still dangerous for her but I could not bear being away from her. Protecting her and loving her were my two main goals now. I had no idea what the future would hold for us but I did know that there was no force on earth strong enough to take me from her side again.

We walked a few blocks to her hotel, neither of us speaking. It was a rather sad building, slightly rundown. Bella should be staying somewhere nicer than this place, I thought. We walked past the front desk and up the stairs since there was no elevator.

I could hear the curiosity in the desk clerk's mind, wondering who I was. He was disappointed to see me. Apparently he was infatuated with Bella and seeing her with someone else upset him. In his mind he replayed each time he had spoken to her or seen her. She had always responded politely but had given him nothing he could call encouragement. Seeing her with my arm wrapped around her had him seething in envy. I laughed inwardly. She seemed to bring men under her spell with no effort at all and she didn't even know it.

I resisted the urge to lift her up and carry her up the stairs but settled instead to travel the two flights of stairs at a human pace. I was burning with impatience and curiosity. What had really brought Bella here? I had to know.

We walked to the room at the end of the hall and Bella took the key from a pocket of her dress and opened the door. I followed in behind her and surveyed the room. It was not the kind of place I would have chosen for her to stay. It was clean and well kept but not nearly as comfortable and elegant as I would have liked for her. The furnishings were simple-a bed, armchair and footrest, a desk with a chair, a dresser. There was a television on a low table that was so old it looked like it should be in a museum.

Bella took my hand and pulled me to the armchair then pushed me down into it. I would have preferred to sit with her on bed. I wanted to hold her in my arms again. Before I could suggest it though she climbed up and sat on my lap. I was glad that she wanted to maintain contact with me. I wasn't ready to let her go yet either. She put her legs over the arm of the chair and clasped her hands together in her lap. I slid my arm around her back and placed my other hand lightly on her knee. I heard her heartbeat accelerate and she took a deep breath before resting her head on my shoulder.

I sat holding her quietly for a moment but before long my curiosity was raging. "So, are you going to tell me the story now?" I heard the impatience in my voice as I looked down at her expectantly. She was twisting her fingers together.

"I am not sure where to begin," she said, biting her lip.

"Well, maybe start with what made you decide to come find me in the first place." I waited anxiously for the answer. What could have propelled her to come here?

"Well, just please don't freak out, okay?"

Of course I tensed immediately. I knew instinctively that there was more to this story than I had first thought.

"Why would I 'freak out'?" What was so bad that she thought I would panic?

"You _have_ been known to in the past and I don't want it to happen now. There are parts of the story that you may not like and I am worried about your reaction. Just try and listen in an objective way, alright?" She sounded both hopeful and resigned.

I was more anxious than ever to hear her story but I knew she would not tell me if she thought I would overreact. I willed my body to relax.

"Well," she began, "I had thought about coming to find you anyway but I guess the accident is what finally decided it for me."

I went still. She had been in an accident? I guess that was not surprising considering it was Bella, but there must be more to this than a simple accident. She would not have done something as drastic as this if it had been a trifling thing.

"Accident? What happened?" I waited tensely for her reply.

"About two months ago, I was in a car accident." She said it in a matter-of-fact tone but I heard the underlying tension in her voice.

"How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad."

I sucked in a harsh breath. Bella was always so careful to downplay anything unpleasant. I knew if she said _bad_ it really meant terrible or horrific.

"Tell me exactly what happened." I held my breath, waiting for her answer.

"Alright," she took a deep breath, "Well, I was driving Angela's car because my truck was in the shop being repaired." She paused slightly before continuing. "I was going through a green light when a log truck ran the red and hit me on the passenger side. Which was a very good bit of luck they tell me." She sounded almost offhand about it.

If I my heart had been beating it would have stopped. I could imagine the type of damage that a log truck would do to Angela's little Sentra.

"And how badly were you hurt?" I had to know.

"I came out pretty well all things considered." That was all she said but she had to know that that would not satisfy me. That she was hesitating meant that she had been hurt fairly badly. She was going to tell me; I would accept nothing else.

"Bella, tell me exactly what your injuries were."

"The usual compliment of bruises of course," she smiled. "I had some scratches from the glass and some pretty bad gashes on my arms and one on my head. They say I lost a lot of blood." I sucked in a harsh breath and waited for her to finish. I knew there had to be more. "I had four broken ribs and my lung collapsed where the log hit me in the side."

"Log? What log?" I barely had the ability to speak.

"A log came loose from the load when the truck hit me. It came through the passenger side window and hit me." Her voice was calm.

It was even worse than I had imagined. She could have been killed! She could have died while I was thousands of miles away and I would never have known it. The whole time we had been separated I had been able to survive the pain because I knew that no matter what happened to me she was alive and living her life. The thought that I might never have seen her face again filled me with such pain I almost could not bear it.

I pulled her tightly to me and buried my face in her neck. "Oh my God", I heard myself whisper over and over. Feeling her in my arms, smelling her scent and feeling it burn my throat was reassuring, telling me that she was alive and safe. I felt her fingers in my hair and she was saying 'its okay, I'm okay" over and over. So like Bella to try to make _me_ feel better when _she_ was the one who had been hurt. I raised my head and looked into her eyes. She placed her hands on both sides of my face.

"No freaking out, remember? I'm perfectly fine now, okay?" I nodded my head then I looked down and froze. There were two long pink scars on her arms. It horrified me to think of how much they must have hurt and how many stitches it must have taken to close them. I pulled her hands from my face and held her arms out so I could see them properly. I knew it would take a long time for these scars to fade away.

I took both her hands in one of mine and stroked my finger gently down each scar. I was aching with the knowledge that either one of these might have been the one that ended her life. Remorse filled me as I realized that if I had never left, if I had been with her that day, I could have prevented this from happening. I would have been driving her to school and could have evaded the truck or at least shielded her with my body. Anything to keep her safe and uninjured. I would never ever forgive myself for leaving her. For abandoning her to a world that seem determined to do her in.

"Hey, I'm okay, still here and whole." Her voice was soothing. Yes, she was here and with me. I would hold on to that.

I looked into her eyes and smiled sadly. "I can't stand the thought of you being in pain."

"Well, I was unconscious for most of it. I didn't really know the true extent of my injuries until I came out of the coma." She cringed as she said the word.

I sucked in a sharp breath. This kept getting worse and worse.

"Coma? You were in a coma?" I could barely speak the words through the horror I felt. "For how long?"

"Only three days. Not long at all." How could she sound so blasé about something so serious? I suddenly couldn't wait to talk to Carlisle again, to ask him about this. While I was going over everything I had ever read about comatose patients in my head, Bella continued.

"I'm pretty sure it was Alice's voice that brought me out of it." I'm sure that she meant her words to be reassuring but I was too angry at Alice to be comforted. She had promised me! Even though breaking her promise seemed to have brought Bella to me I could not forgive her, yet.

"Alice was there?" I wanted to know the full extent of her interference. Was Bella only here because of her?

"Yes, she came when she "saw" me have the accident. She was worried because she could not see what the outcome was, what my condition was." I knew Alice loved Bella almost as much as I did; she would have wanted to make sure Bella was alright. Why hadn't she told me about the accident? Called me at least? A thought occurred to me.

"You said your accident was two months ago?"

"Yes, give or take a few days."

Alice had called me about two months ago. She had asked if I was still in Rio, though of course she would have known that. I replayed the conversation in my mind but she hadn't said anything about Bella. Maybe the accident hadn't happened yet. But why hadn't she called me after? Had she been afraid of giving something away, of letting me know somehow that Bella was going to track me down? I don't know what I would have done if she had told me _that_. Left Rio? Wait for her to arrive? I had no idea.


	7. Chapter 7

**SM the great and powerful owns all these people! They just do as I say!**

Bella

"So I take it that Alice convinced you to come here?" he spoke it less as a question and more as a statement.

"No, I told you that I had already decided to find you." I wanted this point to be clear. He looked surprised at my words. "All Alice did was point me in the right direction. I didn't know where you were or how to find you and she did."

"So if it wasn't Alice, what really propelled you to find me? You said it was the accident"-he choked on the word-"but how did that make you finally decide to come here after all this time?"

I couldn't help it, I blushed. I had thought it would be embarrassing to tell Alice about my coma "dream" but having to tell Edward was a hundred times worse. Would he think I was an idiot? An obsessed idiot? I guess there was no way to know unless I told him. I took a deep breath.

"Well, it is kind of embarrassing really." I could not look at him as I spoke. "While I was unconscious I had a strange dream, or vision I guess you could call it." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks again and pushed on.

"It was a replay of all of out time together. I saw every moment we'd had together and watching it I knew that I had to find you again. I knew that with my horrible luck that any moment might be my last and that I wanted to spend every moment I had with you. We have not had enough time with each other; time might cease to exist before we have had enough of it."

I knew the last part sounded very melodramatic but there was no other way for me to describe it. I wanted to spend every second with Edward. There could never be enough time.

He was quiet for a long time. So long that I was worried that I had finally said the words to drive him away again. Did he think I was crazy?

He spoke. "You're right, we haven't had enough time, there is no such thing as enough time." My heart swelled and beat faster in response to his words. Hope blossomed in me. "I was the biggest kind of fool, leaving you, thinking that was what was best for you. And it only ended up hurting us both." He shook his head sadly.

He had left me because he thought it was best for me? That it would somehow be better for me not to be around him? He had told me that he didn't want me, was that a lie? Had I been tormenting myself with my inadequacies for the last six months for nothing?

I was abruptly angry. He had broken my heart for my own good?

"Is _that _why you left, you thought it was what was best for me?" I could not believe that he would do such a thing!. Didn't he know that no matter where I was or who I was with I attracted danger?

"Bella, just being around _me_ is dangerous enough for you, especially with as potent as your scent is to me. But when I saw the danger you were in from others of my kind-James, Victoria, even Jasper for a moment-I knew I could not allow you to be hurt by what I am."

I had always known that he was worried about my safety, obsessively so really, but I had no idea that it would lead him to do something so drastic. His words in the forest came crashing down onto me again. They had been so devastating.

"But-in the forest-you said…you said you were leaving because you didn't want me. That I wasn't good enough for you." The pain of the words he had said choked me and my throat was tight with tears. I willed them away so I could hear his answer.

"My love, I had to tell you those things. I could see that there was no way you were going to give in, to let me leave without you. I knew I had to convince you that I didn't want you anymore, to make you believe that I was moving on. It was the only way I could think of to make sure you went on with your life after I had gone. But every word I said to you was a lie. When I told you I didn't want you," he shook his head sadly, "I can't believe that I was even able to say it. The words were choking me, tormenting me the entire time. But I knew I had to say them, to make sure you were safe, that you had the chance to have a full and happy life."

I couldn't believe it. Everything he had said to me in the forest had been a lie? He had been acting to keep me safe? He wanted me after all? Really? Could I believe that? My heart screamed _Yes! _But how could he have let me hurt so much? Did he even know how much pain I had been in?

"Edward, the only time I can _be_ happy is when I am with you. All the time you have been gone I have been drowning, sinking farther and farther below the surface, into despair. Thinking of you, of seeing your face again, it is the only thing that pulled me up out of it, back into my life again. Whatever danger I might be in from your company can never be as bad as the emptiness when I am not with you."

He pulled me up against his chest and cradled my head beneath his chin.

"I love you Bella." He said. I gasped and started to tremble. It was the first time he had said the words to me in so long and my heart felt like it would burst with happiness.

"I told you that you were not good enough for me but the truth is, I can never be good enough to deserve you. I will try every day of my existence to be the man that you deserve."

He pulled my face up to his and wiped away the tears that were coursing down my face. Then he kissed me so gently, so sweetly and I knew that no matter what else happened, no matter what life and fate chose to throw at us, we would be together. We were two sides of the same coin; neither was complete without the other. We sat there staring at each other for a long moment, his eyes filled with such joy I could not speak. For the first time in months I felt completely and truly happy.


	8. Chapter 8

**I wish I had a Twilight royalty check but SM keeps them all! *set to Oscar meyer song***

Edward

"So I take it that Alice convinced you to come here?" Of course she had. Alice could be very persuasive. She must have talked Bella into tracking me down, knowing that seeing her would be the only thing that would bring me home. The joy that I felt at seeing Bella again was tarnished by the thought that she had only come here at someone else's urging. But as I sat contemplating this, Bella surprised me with her answer.

"No, I told you that I had already decided to find you." Her voice rang with her sincerity. "All Alice did was point me in the right direction. I didn't know where you were or how to find you and she did."

So it really had been her decision after all. She really did want to be with me, despite everything that had happened. I still couldn't believe it.

"So if it wasn't Alice, what really propelled you to find me? You said it was the accident"- I had a hard time saying the word; it conjured up too many images of Bella lying broken and bleeding-"but how did that make you finally decide to come here after all this time?"

She blushed and looked away for a moment. She seemed embarrassed. I couldn't find anything in this situation that could be embarrassing but then, I had never understood the workings of Bella's mind.

She was quiet for a few moments. I was about to beg her to tell me what she was thinking when she took a deep breath and spoke.

"Well, it is kind of embarrassing really, "she said, looking down at her hands. She was twisting them together again. "While I was unconscious I had a strange dream, or vision I guess you could call it." Her cheeks burned pink again. "It was a replay of all of our time together. I saw every moment that we'd had together and watching it I knew I had to find you again. I knew that with my horrible luck that any moment might be my last and that I wanted to spend every moment I had with you. We have not had enough time with each other; time may cease to exist before we have had enough of it."

I could not speak for a long moment; I was astounded. She was right. Her life was ruled by some mean-spirited fate that wanted to end her life. She was so terribly _unlucky_ that bad things kept happening to her and so terribly _lucky_ that none of them had succeeded yet in killing her And she was right about something else; we had not had enough time together. I wanted to spend every moment with her, hearing her laugh, seeing her smile, watching her beautiful eyes sparkle with mischief.

"You're right, we haven't had enough time, there is no such thing as enough time." I felt her heartbeat pick up in response to my words. "I was the biggest kind of fool, leaving you, thinking that was what was best for you. And it only ended up hurting us both."

I could not believe how stupid I had been, thinking I could live without her. The world had been a cold dark place when she was gone; now it seemed like the sun was shining once more, warming me again.

"Is _that_ why you left, you thought it was what was best for me?" Her voice was incredulous and I could hear the anger.

"Bella, just being around _me_ is dangerous enough for you, especially as potent as your scent is to me. But when I saw the danger you were in from others of my kind-James, Victoria, even Jasper for a moment-I knew I could not allow you to be hurt by what I am."

"But-in the forest-you said…you said you were leaving because you didn't want me. That I wasn't good enough for you." Her voice was clogged with pain and repressed tears. I was filled with remorse and anguish at the pain that I had caused her.

"My love, I had to tell you those things. I could see that there was no way you were going to give in, to let me leave without you. I knew I had to convince you that I didn't want you anymore, to make you believe that I was moving on. It was the only way I could think of to make sure you went on with your life after I had gone. But every word of what I said to you was a lie. When I told you I didn't want you," I shook my head sadly, "I can't believe I was even able to say it. The words were choking me, tormenting me the entire time. But I knew I had to say them, I had to make sure you were safe, that you had the chance to have a full and happy life."

"Edward, the only time I can _be _happy is when I am with you. All the time you have been gone I have been drowning, sinking farther and farther below the surface, into despair. Thinking of you, of seeing your face again, it is the only thing that pulled me up out of it, back into my life again. Whatever danger I might be in from your company can never be as bad as the emptiness when I am not with you."

My leaving had hurt her so much. More even than I had thought it would. I had hoped she would move on. _NO!_ My heart cried. No, if I was honest with myself I knew that was a lie. I never wanted her to forget me as I would never forget her. But I hadn't wanted her to suffer either. And she had. She loved me so much and I had crushed her; I could see that now. I had underestimated her feelings for me. I could not forgive myself for wounding her so badly. I would work everyday to make amends.

I pulled her too me and cradled her against my chest. "I love you Bella." I felt her gasp and begin to tremble. "I told you that you were not good enough for me but the truth is, I can never be good enough to deserve you. I will try every day of my existence to be the man that you deserve." I put my hand under her chin and pulled her face up to mine. She was smiling; tears were brimming in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. I gently brushed them away with my thumb and kissed her tear-wet lips. I pulled away and stared into her face, the most beautiful face in the world, the face of the woman I would love for the rest of eternity and felt true joy and happiness for the first time in months.


	9. Chapter 9

Bella

He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed with contentment. I snuggled up against his chest; I never wanted to move.

"What does Charlie think about you being here?" he asked.

Charlie. He had been a little harder to convince than Alice had originally thought.

"Brazil!" He had practically shouted. "You want to take Bella to Brazil for a month?"

Alice had been calmer.

"Charlie, she will be perfectly safe. Jasper and I have both been there before. She will never be out of our sight." I had to look away at that point so as not to give Alice away. We both knew I would be searching for Edward alone.

"It will look great on Bella's college applications. The big colleges really go for the humanitarian angle." It had taken a little more cajoling on Alice's part but Charlie had finally agreed. He made sure I checked in with him every few days, using the cell phone that Alice had given me to save him long distance charges.

"He doesn't technically know that I am here actually," I answered Edward now. I felt bad about lying to Charlie but being in Edward's arms made it worth it.

"Where does he think you are?" He sounded amused.

"He thinks I am traveling with Alice and Jasper doing volunteer work abroad. You know, to fluff out my college applications."

"Jasper knows you're here too?" He was surprised. Alice had argued, threatened and finally begged until Jasper had gone along with the plan. I secretly thought that he was holding out deliberately, making Alice work for his acquiescence, to teach her a lesson about interfering. I knew that he missed Edward too. He had held out longer against Alice than I thought he would (he could not really deny Alice anything she wanted) but had finally given in.

"Yes, it took a lot of convincing on Alice's part. She knew that Charlie wouldn't allow us to travel without a male escort." I laughed at the thought of Alice needing protection. "Charlie still didn't like the idea of me traveling to another country though, no matter how worthwhile the cause is. But Alice has Charlie wrapped around her finger and he finally agreed."

"Where are they now?"

I had to think about that. "Um, Santiago, I think. I am supposed to check in with Alice everyday. It seems silly to me since she already knows what I am doing or going to do, but it makes me feel better to talk to her. She always knows the right things to say." Alice had encouraged me every time I had called, telling me not to give up hope, that Edward loved me and wanted to be with me. It was reassurance that I had desperately needed.

"What do you mean?" How would I describe this to him?

"Well, it has been difficult to track you down. I knew you were in the city but it is not like I could put up signs or something. You know 'Have you seen this man?'" I laughed at the thought of Edward's reaction if I had. He smiled slightly. "And I don't speak the language either so trying to make people understand has been interesting too. But she really just helped me keep my resolve."

"Your resolve?" I could hear a touch of wariness in his tone.

"Mmm-hmm. My resolve to keep looking for you. Alice has been encouraging, telling me not to give up hope and soothing my anxiety about seeing you again." I saw his lips turn down at the corners.

"I'm glad you didn't give up. And I'm sorry that you were so apprehensive about seeing me again. The way that I have treated you is abominable and I can never make it up to you but I will never stop trying." There was conviction in his tone but there was sadness too. I didn't want him to be sad.

"Edward, I am just so glad to be with you again like this. I was so afraid that you would turn me away, that Alice was wrong and that I was making a fool of myself. But being here, having you hold me again, it makes me so happy. Nothing else matters except that I get to be with you now."  
"Bella, I promise you that I will never, ever leave you again." His voice was strong with conviction and I knew he meant it. "Being without you these last months…I don't ever want to feel that kind of pain again. And now, after seeing you and being able to touch you and have you in my arms again-there is nothing that could ever take me away from you again." We sat together quietly. I was content just to be held in his arms, knowing he was mine again.


	10. Chapter 10

**This magic realm belongs to SM! But the pixies answer to me!**

Edward

There were many questions burning in me and I needed my curiosity satisfied. I pulled her against my chest and wrapped my arms around her. She sighed and nestled her face over my silent heart.

"So what does Charlie think about you being here?" I could not believe that he might have agreed to let Bella come here alone.

"He doesn't technically know that I am here actually." She admitted sheepishly.

That's what I thought. "Where does he think you are?"

"He thinks that I am traveling with Alice and Jasper doing volunteer work abroad. You know, to fluff out my college applications."

That sounded a lot like Alice's idea. I wasn't angry with Alice anymore; having Bella in my arms again overshadowed any anger I might feel about Alice's machinations. I could not believe that she had gotten Jasper to go along with her plans though.

"Jasper knows you're here too?"

"Yes, it took a lot of convincing on Alice's part. She knew that Charlie wouldn't allow us to travel without a male escort." She laughed. "Charlie still didn't like the idea of me traveling to another country though, no matter how worthwhile the cause is. But Alice has Charlie wrapped around her finger and he finally agreed."

"Where are they now?" I knew that they could not be in Rio. I would have picked up Alice's or Jasper's thoughts easily since I was more tuned into their minds than most other people.

"Um, Santiago, I think. I am supposed to check in with Alice everyday. It seems silly to me since she already knows what I am doing or going to do, but it makes me feel better to talk to her. She always knows the right things to say."

"What do you mean?" There something in her tone that I could not identify.

"Well, it has been difficult to track you down. I knew that you were somewhere in the city but it's not like I could put up signs or something. You know 'Have you seen this man'?" I smiled a little at thought. She laughed a little then continued. "And I don't speak the language either so trying to make people understand has been interesting too. But she really just helped me keep my resolve."

"Your resolve?"

"Mmm-hmm. My resolve to keep looking for you. Alice has been encouraging, telling me not to give up hope and soothing my anxiety about seeing you again."

It made me sad that I had caused her so much pain that she had been worrying about seeing me again. Hearing that she might have given up searching for me had me holding her closer. She had been so brave to come here. A stranger in a strange place, not being able to speak the language and looking for someone she thought didn't want her. I would forever be in awe of her courage.

"I'm glad you didn't give up. And I'm sorry that you were so apprehensive about seeing me again. The way that I have treated you is abominable and I can never make it up to you but I will never stop trying." And I wouldn't.

"Edward, I am just so glad to be with you again like this. I was so afraid that you would turn me away, that Alice was wrong and that I was making a fool of myself. But being here, having you hold me again, it makes me so happy. Nothing else matters except that I get to be with you now." I could not fathom how she could forgive me so completely after everything. I truly did not deserve her.

"Bella, I promise you that I will never, ever leave you again. Being without you these last months…I don't ever want to feel that kind of pain ever again. And now, after seeing you and being able to touch you and have you in my arms again-there is nothing that could ever take me away from you ever again." We sat quietly together for a long moment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Its not mine! *Running into the corner to cry* This stuff is all Stephanie's! But they are my minions right now! Muah Ha HA!**

Bella

"How long have you been looking for me?" He asked after a moment.

"I've been here for a week now. I wasn't sure where to look for you so I chose a hotel that was in the center of the city. I've kind of been working my way around, showing your picture to people to see if they remembered you. It has been slow going, not only because of the language thing but also because I wanted to be back at the hotel before it got dark. I really didn't want to get lost in the city at night."

I had enough trouble finding my way back to my hotel during the day; the city at night terrified me. I felt him shudder and hurried to continue before he was able to say anything about me wandering around the city alone.

"Then I found someone, a woman of course, who remembered seeing you a couple of times." I remembered the glow in the woman's eyes when she had looked at the picture. I understood completely. Even in a photograph Edward was stunningly gorgeous. Fortunately the woman had also been able to speak English and had given me the information I needed.

"She told me that she had seen you in the courtyard and that it was probably my best bet. So I have been camped out there for that last few days, waiting to see if you came by."

I had been so worried that he would not show up. I had planned on only spending one more day there after today before looking around the city again. It was a good thing he decided to go for a walk today. Thinking about that reminded me of something.

"I have a question."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Earlier, when you first saw me, why did you turn and walk away?" It had been so shocking and I wanted to know what he had been thinking. To my surprise he looked almost embarrassed by the question.

"To be truthful, I didn't think you were real." He looked sheepish.

"Really?" I was surprised. I couldn't believe that he had been having doubts that I was real. I had thought he was angry at me for being here.

"Yes. I thought that my imagination had run away with me, giving me delusions. I thought that because I was so desperate to see you again that my brain was giving me visions of your face to appease me." His perfect lips twisted self-consciously.

I shook my head. It still thrilled me that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I had been thinking he would disappear and he thought I was a delusion. The thought of Edward having hallucinations was funny to me for some reason and I giggled.

"Are you laughing at me?" He scowled but I could see the amusement in his eyes.

"It's just funny because I was kind of thinking the same thing when we were talking before. I was worried you would disappear." I giggled.

"Not a chance. You are stuck with me now." He smiled as he said it but I could hear the promise in his voice and smiled.

"You're damn right I am. I've followed you this far and you are not going to get away."

Now that I knew he loved me and wanted me I would follow him anywhere. I reached up and kissed him on his cold flawless jaw. He bent his head down and captured my lips with his. One arm held me to him and his other hand moved to my neck, holding me in his kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his soft hair. I could kiss him forever but too soon he released me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest, totally content.

I am not sure how long we sat there, just holding each other, when my humanity reared its head and my stomach grumbled.

"Dinner time for the human?" Edward asked, amused.

"I suppose so. I don't remember the last time I ate." I had been so nervous about seeing Edward I hadn't had much of an appetite. I realized now I was ravenous.

"Well that won't do. Let's go get you something to eat." He put his arms under me and lifted me up, standing at the same time, but he didn't move. Curious I looked up and he was staring down at me, his eyes soft.

"You don't know how happy it makes me, having you in my arms again. I had thought I would never see you again and now to be able to hold you again…I can't even find the words to describe it." He bent down and brushed his lips to mine, before lowering me gently to the floor. Before he could release me completely I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I feel the same way. I have missed having you hold me and thought I would never be able to feel your arms around me again. Now I feel like a kid on Christmas morning." I laughed. Edward was better than any gift I had ever received.

He kissed my nose. "Come on, let's go get some food into you." He unwrapped my arms from his waist and took my hand.

We walked down the stairs and out through the hotel lobby into the now darkened streets. I had never been out when it was dark outside. I knew that it was dangerous at night for a woman alone no matter where she was, much less a foreign country. There were lots of people in the streets and I could hear music pouring out of a cantina across the street.

A drunken man stumbled towards us and stopped, looking me up and down. He reeked of sweat and alcohol. I could feel Edward stiffen next to me. The man leered at me and said something in Spanish that I did not understand, though I was able to pick out the word "beautiful". Edward growled something back at the man and I could see him register Edward's presence for the first time. He backed away quickly from the furious look on Edward's face. He crossed the street and ducked into the cantina.

"What was that all about?" I asked. Edward took a deep breath and smiled down at me.

"Just another man who can't help but find you irresistible." He laughed at the dubious expression on my face. "I just made sure he understood that you were taken."

I laughed. The look on his face before told me he had let the man know more than that. "Okay, but next time try not to scare them so badly." I laughed again.

"Next time?" His voice was amused.

"Well you said yourself I am _sooo_ irresistible." I pretended to bat my eyelashes at him.

He laughed. "Indeed you are." Then he bent to brush his lips against mine.

There was a small restaurant on the corner and we stopped there. It was an enchanting place. The tables were small and round with small candles in jars in the middle. There was soft music playing in the background. The atmosphere was very intimate and it felt like we were the only two people in the world. Edward translated the menu to me in his velvet voice and told the waitress what I wanted. She pointedly ignored my presence and flirted in Edward's direction but he ignored her, staring at me the whole time. She looked at me disbelievingly before leaving to get my food.

I reached across the table to take his wintry hand in mine. He raised it to his lips before setting our entwined hands back on the table.

"So what are our plans from here?" I asked. The word _our _secretly thrilled me.

He smiled. "I was thinking we could spend a few more days here, give you a chance to really see the sights, before going to see my family in Denali. We can spend a couple of weeks with them before we have to be back for the start of school."

_Before_ we_ have to be back_…the words were so beautiful to me and I felt tears form in my eyes. It hit me for the first time that Edward and I would really be together again. He saw the tears in my eyes and became alarmed.

"Bella? What's wrong? We don't have to go to Denali if you don't want to; we can stay here or I can take you back to Forks or-." I cut him off before he could panic.

"No, I want to see your family again. I was just starting to realize that I really do get to be with you, that's all." I wiped my tears away and beamed at him.

He smiled at me adoringly.


	12. Chapter 12

**In a woulda coulda shoulda world I would own Twilight! But *sigh* all I got was this t-shirt!**

Edward

"How long have you been here looking for me?" I asked. How many opportunities to see her again had I missed?

"I've been here for a week now. I wasn't sure where to look for you so I chose a hotel that was in the center part of the city. I've kind of been working my away around, showing your picture to people to see if they remembered you. It has been slow going, not only because of the language thing but also because I wanted to be back at the hotel before it got dark. I really didn't want to get lost in the city at night."

The thought of Bella alone at night in the city had me shuddering. What had Alice been thinking! There were so many things that could have happened to her wandering around by herself unprotected, even during the daytime. I was definitely going to have a long talk with my sister the next time I saw her.

Bella continued with her story. "Then I found someone, a woman of course, who remembered seeing you a couple of times. She told me that she had seen you in the courtyard and that it was probably my best bet. So I have been camped out there for the last few days, waiting to see if you came by."

I _had_ been in that courtyard a few times in the last month. For some reason I found it calming, probably because of all the voices, mental and verbal, that washed over me there. It was almost like emotional Novocain; blocking out the pain in short bursts. It was only chance that had brought me out this afternoon though; I might have missed her altogether if something had not compelled me to come out today.

"I have a question," Bella asked, pulling me from my reverie.

"What is it?"

"Earlier, when you first saw me, why did you turn and walk away?"

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. I didn't want to tell her that I thought she was a figment of my imagination, that I had thought I was hallucinating, but I owed her honesty.

"To be truthful, I didn't think you were real." I said sheepishly  
"Really?" She sounded surprised and incredulous.

"Yes. I thought that my imagination had run away with me, giving me delusions. I thought that because I was so desperate to see you again that my brain was giving me visions of your face to appease me." It sounded silly to me now but it had been the only explanation I had been able to come up with at the time. The reality-that Bella would be here looking for me-would never have occurred to me in a million years.

She sat there, shaking her head. Then she giggled.

"Are you laughing at me?" I pretended to scowl at her.

"It's just funny because I was kind of thinking the same thing when we were talking before. I was worried that you would disappear." She giggled again.

"Not a chance. You are stuck with me now." I was smiling but I meant every word.

She smiled too. "You're damn right I am. I've followed you this far and you are not going to get away." She reached up and kissed the underside of my jaw. I could not resist. I bent my head down and pressed my lips to hers. I didn't think I would ever get enough of kissing her. My hand slipped behind her head, down to the soft skin at the nape of her neck and I held her to me. She responded by wrapping her arms around my neck and threading her fingers into my hair. We kissed for a long moment then I released her. I could feel myself getting carried away and I had to stop myself before the temptation became too much for me. She wrapped her arms around me and nestled against me, sighing in contentment.

We sat for a long moment and then I heard her stomach grumble. I had forgotten that she needed to eat more often that I did.

"Dinner time for the human?" I asked.

"I suppose so. I don't remember the last time I ate." I would have to be more careful to make sure she was taking care of herself. I did not want her to become ill.

"Well that won't do. Let's go get you something to eat." I slipped my arms underneath her and lifted her up, standing as I did so. I stared down at her. I could not believe how much difference a few hours could make. I had started out the day in such deep despair and now it felt like I could take flight with pure joy. Having her here, in my arms again was staggering. I had expected to spend the rest of my life alone, without her, and now I had been given a second chance. I would always be grateful for that.

She looked up at me, wondering why I had not moved. Her eyes warmed when she saw my expression.

"You don't know how happy it makes me, having you in my arms again. I had thought I would never see you again and now to be able to hold you again….I can't even find the words to describe it." I kissed her softly before lowering her to the ground. She wrapped her arms around me as soon as her feet touched the floor.

"I feel the same way. I have missed having you hold me and I thought I would never be able to feel your arms around me again. Now I feel like a kid on Christmas morning." She laughed.

She was so adorable. I bent and kissed her nose and then pulled her arms from around me and took her hand. "Come on, let's go get some food into you."

We made our way outside. I could feel Bella move a little closer to me. I was glad that she'd had enough common sense not to leave her hotel at night. There were so many dangers out here for her. I knew that even without reading the thoughts of the people coming out of the cantina.

A man tottered towards us and I stiffened as I read his thoughts about Bella. Revolting. I was glad that Bella did not understand Spanish when he spoke.

"You are so beautiful. Come with me my sweet and I will show you many wonderful things. Your body will sing when I am done with you" He leered at her and I read in his mind the disgusting images of exactly what he wanted to show her.

"The lady is with me," I growled back at him in Spanish. "If you want to continue breathing I suggest you remove yourself from here. Stay and they will not be able to identify your body as human when I am done with you."

The man looked at me for the first time and saw the deathly fury in my eyes. He backed away quickly and crossed the street away from us, fleeing into a cantina.

"What was that all about?" Bella asked. I took a deep breath and forced the fury from my body. I didn't want to scare her. I smiled down at her.

"Just another man who can't help but find you irresistible." I laughed at the expression on her face. Would she never understand the magnetic pull she had to all things male? "I just made sure he understood that you were taken."

She laughed and eyed me skeptically. I had forgotten how perceptive she was.

"Okay, but next time try not to scare them so badly." She laughed.

"Next time?" I knew there would be a next time too. She was too beautiful for her own good. Or mine for that matter.

"Well you said yourself I am _sooo_ irresistible." She looked up at me and batted her eyelashes at me in an overly flirtatious way.

I laughed. "Indeed you are." I knew I would never be able to resist her again and I bent to kiss her.

We made our way to a small restaurant at the corner and found a table. I helped her translate the menu and gave the waitress her order. I could not keep my eyes off of Bella. Her skin seemed to glow in the soft light of the candle on our table. I thought to myself that I could travel the whole world and never see a more beautiful sight. She reached across the table and took my hand. Her hand was warm in mine and I could not resist bringing her hand to my lips. Her skin was so soft. I lowered our hands back to the table.

"So what are our plans from here?" she asked. _Our plans. _The words delighted me and I smiled at her.

"I was thinking we could spend a few more days here, give you a chance to really see the sights, before going to see my family in Denali. We can spend a couple of weeks with them before we have to be back for the start of school." Even though I hated having to go through high school over and over, knowing I could see Bella everyday made it worth it.

I looked at her and realized that there were tears in her eyes. Had I said something wrong? Did she want to stay here? Would she rather go straight home?

"Bella? What's wrong? We don't have to go to Denali if you don't want to," I hurried to reassure her, "we can stay here or I can take you back to Forks or-." She cut me off before I could finish my sentence. I would give her anything she wanted; all she had to do was ask.

"No, I want to see your family again. I was just starting to realize that I really do get to be with you, that's all." She dabbed at her tears and gave me a beautiful smile.

I smiled at her tenderly. I could not believe that I was lucky enough to be with this


	13. Chapter 13

Bella

The waitress delivered my food, still looking hopefully at Edward; he continued to ignore her and she walked away. After I ate, we paid the bill and walked hand in hand back to the hotel. I retrieved the cell phone Alice had given me from a drawer in the nightstand.

"I have to call Alice. Of course she already knows what is going on but if I don't call she gets upset." I dialed the number and she picked up immediately. Then promptly gave me no chance to speak.

_Bella! You found him! I'm so glad! Jasper and I will be there is Denali when you get there Friday. I am so happy! Bella you are the best sister anyone could ever have! Thank you so much!_

"Hello Alice," I said dryly. She was always so enthusiastic. "I'm happy too. And we will see you in Denali I guess." It was funny confirming plans I hadn't even made yet but that was a side effect of being around Alice.

"Tell Jasper I said hello." I hadn't seen him since my birthday I realized. We had told Charlie that Jasper would be with us but he had not actually traveled with me.

"You know, I just realized I haven't seen him in over six months? I am going to have to come up with some Jasper and Bella stories to tell Charlie so he won't be suspicious. And since I know you won't be able to keep it a secret, tell Carlisle and Esme and everyone else that I said hello."

_I will Bella. See you soon! Bye! _She hung up and I closed the phone. I laughed and shook my head.

"Alice." She was the best sister anyone could ever have.

Edward was looking at me quizzically

"I thought Jasper and Alice both brought you here." he said.

"No, Alice flew with me to the airport here, and then she got on a different plane to go meet Jasper in Santiago." I replied.

"Why didn't they travel together?"

"I don't know. I wondered about it too but Alice just said that Jasper had gone on ahead to get things ready."

I shrugged but I secretly thought that Jasper hadn't wanted to see me again. I didn't blame him for what had happened on my birthday but it must still bother him. I hoped I would get a chance to tell him I had forgiven him long ago.

Edward looked deep in thought when I spoke next.

"So according to Alice we are going to be in Denali on Friday. That gives us two more days before we have to leave." I was thrilled that I would have some more uninterrupted time with Edward.

"Yes, I plan on showing you some of the local culture before we go. I will call the airlines to see what flights they have open. Though I'm willing to bet there is a flight out on Friday." He laughed. You just didn't bet against Alice.

"Alright, while you do that I will go ahead and take a shower." I kissed him on the cheek before grabbing some pajamas and my bag of toiletries. I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

The hot water felt good. I washed my hair and scrubbed my self, then turned the water off and spent a few minutes combing out my hair and brushing my teeth. I put on the pajamas that Alice had packed for me. They were a pretty shade of blue and were the least scary of all the ones that she had packed. There was a whole pile of lace ones that I had shoved into the back of the dresser. There was no way I was going to put_ those_ on. Way too scary.

I opened the door to the bathroom and walked back into the room. Edward was sitting propped up on the bed and when he looked in my direction he went still. He looked me up and down then his glowing eyes caught mine and I blushed. The pajamas were of some sort of silky material and Alice being Alice there wasn't much to them-just a camisole top with thin straps and a pair of shorts.

He cleared his throat before speaking. "I don't think I have ever seen you wear that before." His voice was like honey and he cleared his throat again.

I felt myself turning even pinker. "No, it is new. Alice stole all my clothes and replaced them with new ones." I was silently thanking her for this choice when I saw how Edward looked at me. He continued to stare at me and for a moment I felt as beautiful as he always said I was.

I walked over to the bed and pulled back the blankets. Edward's icy skin meant the blanket was necessary but at least I got to cuddle up next to him again. It felt like coming home to have my arm around him and him stroking my damp hair. I snuggled up against him, resting my head on his silent chest.

"Were you able to find a flight out?" I asked.

"Yes, for Friday morning. I also talked to Carlisle and they are expecting us."

"I've missed him and Esme." I couldn't help myself; I yawned. It had been a long emotional day.

"Okay, time to sleep." He said, turning off the lamp. The room was almost dark; there was just a little moonlight coming in through the curtains. There was something I wanted before I fell asleep.

"Edward?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Will you kiss me goodnight?"

He pretended to sigh resignedly. "If I must." He said.

I raised my head and he pressed his lips to mine. Of course my heart took off at the feel of his lips on mine and I reached up to trace his perfect jaw with my fingers. Edward responded by pulling me more tightly against him and kissing me with more urgency. His fingers tunneled into my hair, trapping me against him. My head started to spin and I had to remind myself to breathe. My fingers found his hair and I wanted to hold him there forever. I didn't get my way though. I felt his kiss become gentler and he pulled my hands from his hair. I couldn't help the disappointed groan that escaped me.

"Alright, time for you to rest." He said, laughing at my pout. "I know, my love, but I only have so much self control. Now get some sleep."

I sighed. I knew he wouldn't kiss me again so I lay down next to him. He started to hum


	14. Chapter 14

Edward

Bella ate and we paid the check and left. I walked with her, hand in hand, back to the hotel. Back in the room Bella went to the nightstand and pulled out a cell phone.

"I have to call Alice, "she explained. "Of course she already knows what is going on but if I don't call she gets upset."

She dialed the number and Alice picked it up after only one ring. I could hear Alice's trilling voice on the other line.

_Bella!_ She said. _You found him! I'm so glad! Jasper and I will be there in Denali when you get there Friday. I am so happy! Bella you are the best sister anyone could ever have! Thank you so much!_

"Hello Alice," Bella said dryly. They were the first words she'd had a chance to say. "I'm happy too. And we will see you in Denali I guess." She laughed. "Tell Jasper I said hello. You know, I just realized I haven't seen him in over six months? I am going to have to come up with some Jasper and Bella stories to tell Charlie so he won't be suspicious. And since I know you won't be able to keep it a secret, tell Carlisle and Esme and everyone else that I said hello."

_I will Bella. See you soon! Bye! _

Bella closed the phone, shaking her head and laughing. "Alice."

I thought about something she had said.

"I thought Jasper and Alice both brought you here."

"No, Alice flew with me to the airport here, and then she got on a different plane to go meet Jasper in Santiago."

"Why didn't they travel together?" It seemed strange to me for them to take two different flights.

"I don't know. I wondered about it too but Alice just said that Jasper had gone on ahead to get things ready." She shrugged.

That excuse sounded flimsy to me and I thought I knew why Jasper would not want to travel with Bella. After the incident he had been very upset. He was mortified that he might have actually killed Bella and angry with himself for losing control. After we had left Forks he had worried that I would blame him for everything that had happened. I didn't and I had told him that but I could imagine that he did not want to see Bella right now and be reminded. I hoped that he would be able to get over it soon. I hated the thought of him suffering so much and Bella was going to be around more often. If he was torn up by guilt it would make things very uncomfortable for him.

"So according to Alice we are going to be in Denali on Friday." Bella said, pulling me from my reverie. "That gives us two more days before we have to leave."

"Yes, I plan on showing you some of the local culture before we go. I will call the airlines to see what flights they have open. Though I am willing to bet there is a flight out on Friday." I laughed. If Alice said we would see her on Friday then there was a flight, guaranteed.

"Alright," she said. "While you do that I will go ahead and take a shower." She kissed me on the cheek before retrieving her bag of toiletries and some pajamas from a drawer.

She closed the door of the bathroom and I pulled my phone out of my pocket. There was a call I wanted to make before I called the airlines. I dialed the number and he picked up on the second ring.

_Edward_, Carlisle said. _I am glad to hear from you again, son. How are you?_

"Better than I have been in a long time."  
_Yes, Alice called and told us. I am so happy for you Edward. And Bella too._

"Thanks Carlisle. You were right. Being apart only hurt the both of us. But we are together now and that is all that matters. According to Alice we are going to be there on Friday so we will see you then. Please give my love to Esme.

_I will. And tell Bella that we look forward to seeing her again. She has brought you back to us and we can never repay her for that. We will see you soon._ He hung up.

I called the airlines and arranged a flight out for Bella and me on Friday morning. I could hear the water being turned off in the shower and I sat down on the bed to wait. As I sat there, I contemplated what Carlisle had said. We all, myself included, owed Bella a huge debt of gratitude. If not for her strength I would still be wallowing in despair and still hurting my family with my absence. She had brought my family back together and I was very thankful.

Bella opened the door to the bathroom and steam came flowing out into the room. Her scent was magnified by the warm water but the ache in my throat was very dull. I did not crave her blood with the same madness I once had. I wondered why that was. I did not have much time to think about it though. Bella came out of the bathroom and when I looked at her all my thoughts were driven from my head.

She was wearing a silky camisole top and shorts set. It was in a beautiful shade of periwinkle blue. Her long dark hair was around her shoulders and her skin was slightly pink from the hot water. She was absolutely breathtaking. She caught me staring at her and blushed. The color of her skin was gorgeous. I had to clear my throat before I could speak.

"I don't think I have ever seen you wear that before." My voice sounded husky even to me. I cleared my throat again.

She blushed a brighter pink. "No, it is new. Alice stole all my clothes and replaced them with new ones."

I would have to find a way to thank Alice one day.

She pulled back the blanket on the bed and lay down next to me. By necessity we kept the blanket between us; my skin was so cold she would have been freezing otherwise. But I compensated by pulling her up against me. I stroked her damp hair from the top of her head to her waist. She laid her arm over my stomach and snuggled up to my chest.

"Were you able to find a flight out?" she asked.

"Yes, for Friday morning. I also talked to Carlisle and they are expecting us."

"I've missed him and Esme," she sighed. Then she yawned.

"Okay," I said, "time to sleep." I reached over and turned off the lamp beside the bed.

"Edward?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Will you kiss me goodnight?" How could I deny such a request?

"If I must," I pretended to sigh.

She lifted her head and I pressed my cold lips against her warm soft ones. I felt her heartbeat start to pick up and she reached up and traced the line of my jaw with her fingertips. I pulled her more tightly to me and kissed her more urgently. I reached into the soft mass of her still-damp hair and held her in my kiss. She felt so good against my body. Her fingers tunneled into my hair. I could feel my control starting to slip. I had been away from her too long and my self-control was hanging only by a few threads. I knew I had to stop this before either of us got too carried away. I could not live with myself if I ever hurt her. I gentled the kiss and disentangled her from my hair. She gave a soft groan of disappointment. I understood exactly how she felt.

"Alright, time for you to rest." She pouted at me and I had to laugh at her expression. "I know, my love, but I only have so much self control. Now get some sleep."

She sighed and lay back down next to me. I started to hum her lullaby to her and she soon her eyes began to drift closed. Her breath became more even and she was soon asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Bella

Edward played tour guide for the next two days, showing me around the city. The entire city seemed alive with color and I was enchanted by all new things I saw and learned. Edward, of course, was very knowledgeable about local customs and practices and he described everything to me in his beautiful voice. My favorite place was the open air market. There were so many things to see and smell and hear there that my senses were overwhelmed. I loved seeing all the exotic animals on display. Especially the monkeys-I had laughed in delight at their antics and Edward had smiled down at me indulgently.

I bought a few things to take home to Charlie. I wanted to make sure he knew that I had really come here, even if he was in the dark about the actual reason. That evening Edward took me around the city, showing me some of the native celebrations. I felt much more secure with Edward by my side and was able to enjoy nighttime in the city so much more because he was with me. Sharing all these moments with Edward made me so happy; I never wanted this time to end. He sang me to sleep every night and I was sad when Friday morning came.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked. I had been quiet since we had gotten on the plane, trying to store away all my memories of this very happy time. He noticed my preoccupation.

I smiled up into his beautiful face, cataloging that memory as well. "Yes, it's just kind of sad, leaving Rio. It felt like we were in our own little bubble and now I have to share you with everyone else. But I am glad that I got to make so many new memories with you." I kissed him on the cheek and smiled up into the melted gold of his eyes.

"I was thinking the same thing. Like we were the only two people in the world." He rested his cheek against my hair and we were quiet for a long time.

I fell asleep somewhere on the flight and Edward woke me up just before we landed in Juneau. He rented a big black car that looked like it would be very fast and we made our way to Denali.

I stared out the windows on the way, though we were driving so fast I couldn't really see anything. I was lost in my own thoughts anyway. I didn't know what kind of reception I was in for with the rest of Edward's family. They had been caused a lot of pain and problems since I had entered his life, especially lately; would they blame me for what had happened on my birthday? What about Jasper? Would he avoid me even more than he did before? I hoped he wouldn't.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked after we had driven for a while.

"Just thinking about seeing your family again." And them seeing me.

"Why does that worry you?" I realized that I was twisting my hands together in my lap.

"Do they blame me? You know, for everything that happened? If it hadn't been for my birthday none of this would have happen-." I didn't get to finish my sentence before Edward had wrenched the car over to the shoulder of the highway and screeched to a stop. He flung the car in gear before taking my face in his hands. His eyes burned down into mine with startling intensity.

"Don't ever, ever blame yourself for what happened Bella! Do you hear me?" He sounded almost angry. I nodded, though he still held my face.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong. If there is anyone to blame in all of this, it is me." I opened my mouth to tell him that I was part of it too but he stopped me before I could speak.

"Shhh! Listen to me. I am the one who caused all this pain-for you, for me, for my family-by leaving in the first place. I wanted so badly to keep you safe, for you to be happy that it blinded me to how much it would hurt the both of us." He shook his head sadly.

"What happened on your birthday was an accident and I blew everything out of proportion. I thought I was doing the right thing and there was nothing in the world that would have been able to change my mind. But don't ever take this on yourself, okay?" I nodded again. He kissed me softly and then pulled me into his embrace.

"I will never be able to apologize enough for what I put you through and I will never stop trying to make it up to you."

I didn't want him to be saddled by his guilt. He deserved to be happy, not wallowing in self-reproach.

"Just having you with me now is enough." I said softly. He shook is head in denial of my statement and kissed me on my forehead.

He let me go and pulled the car back onto to road. He reached over and took my hand in his. Feeling his cold, hard hand in mine was reassuring. I could face anything in the world as long as Edward was by my side.


	16. Chapter 16

Edward

We spent the next two days exploring the city. Bella was fascinated by the native customs and by the locals in native dress. We wandered through an open market and she was delighted by all the different and varying wares offered by the street vendors. There were exotic fruits and vegetables on display as well as various animals-birds, monkeys, even some fish-and Bella was captivated by them.

She bought a few souvenirs to bring home for Charlie. At night I took her through the streets to witness some of the native festivals. The city at night teemed with life and Bella drank it all in.

Seeing everything through the filter of Bella's eyes gave me a greater appreciation of the city than I had ever had before. Her enjoyment of her surroundings, hearing her gasps of delight at things that were new to her made me glad to be able to give her these experiences. I wanted to give her more times like this, to see the whole world again through Bella's eyes. I wanted to give her everything.

Each night she fell asleep in my arms and I wished that Friday would never come. Having Bella all to myself made me loath to share her with others again. But Friday morning came too soon and we made our way to the airport. Bella seemed quiet on the plane.

"Are you okay?" I asked. For the millionth time I wished I could read her mind.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Yes, it's just kind of sad, leaving Rio. It felt like we were in our own little bubble and now I have to share you with everyone else. But I am glad that I got to make so many new memories with you." She kissed my cheek and smiled again.

"I was thinking the same thing. Like we were the only two people in the world." I rested my cheek against the top of her head and we sat in silence for a long time.

Bella fell asleep on the plane and I woke her up before we landed. The plane set down in Juneau and we rented a car to make the drive to Denali. Bella spent most of the ride looking out the windows. I saw her twist her hands occasionally in her lap.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"Just thinking about seeing your family again."  
"Why does that worry you?" I could not understand why she would be apprehensive to see my family. They loved her.

"Do they blame me? You know, for everything that happened? If it hadn't been for my birthday none of this would have happen-." Her words were cut off suddenly as I whipped the car to the side of the road and slammed to a halt.

I took her face in mine and forced her to look in my eyes.

"Don't ever, ever blame yourself for what happened Bella! Do you hear me?" How could she even be thinking such a thing? She nodded in my hands.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong. If there is anyone to blame in all of this, it is me." She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off.

"Shhh! Listen to me. I am the one who caused all this pain-for you, for me, for my family-by leaving in the first place. I wanted so badly to keep you safe, for you to be happy that it blinded me to how much it would hurt the both of us." I shook my head; she should never feel to blame for what happened, ever.

What happened on your birthday was an accident and I blew everything out of proportion. I thought I was doing the right thing and there was nothing in the world that would have been able to change my mind. But don't ever take this on yourself, okay?" She nodded again. I gently kissed her lips then pulled her across the console of the car and held her to me.

It never occurred to me that she would think _she_ was to blame for any of this. Of course, knowing Bella I should have expected it. She was ever the martyr. But I could not allow her to shoulder this responsibility. This one was mine to bear. She had borne so much already and it was all my fault.

"I will never be able to apologize enough for what I put you through and I will never stop trying to make it up to you."

"Just having you with me now is enough." She said softly. I shook my head and kissed her forehead.

She was wrong. I had hurt her so much. I would do everything in my power to make sure that she was happy from now on. It would be my mission, my purpose in life.

I released her and put the car in gear and pulled back onto the highway. I reached over and took her hand in mine. We drove in silence again but it seemed like she was more relaxed, though still deep on thought.


	17. Chapter 17

Bella

A few hours later we pulled up in front of a house I assumed was the home of the Denali clan. It looked like it had just fallen out of a picture postcard. It was a log cabin, two stories, complete with a large front porch and a stone chimney. It was delightful. It was nestled back into the woods a little and there were a few large trees giving shade over the entire front yard. There were thick trees behind the house and it seemed like the whole place was enchanted. I half expected gnomes and fairies to come out and play.

We got a pixie instead.

Alice came bounding out of the house before Edward had even cut the engine. She launched herself at Edward the moment he got out of the car. I walked around the front of the car to join them.

"Edward! I'm so glad to see you! It has been too long since I saw you last. You look so much better, happier."

He grinned and hugged her tightly. "I'm glad to see you again too, you little pixie."

Alice turned to me and captured me in a hug.

"Bella! I am so glad you did this. And you are wearing the clothes I bought you too!"

She sounded ecstatic. I scowled at her. I wore the pale pink dress she had packed for me. It had little cap sleeves and eyelet lace around the sweetheart neckline. It had seemed more appropriate than all the tropical sundresses she had packed. I wore my favorite white Ked sneakers with it. I wasn't about to put on the ridiculous sandals she had bought.

"You really didn't give me much choice, did you Alice? Since you stole all my clothes? It was wear these or nothing at all."

"I had to Bella," Alice said. "Everything you packed was so _boring_. I knew you would want to look dazzling when you saw Edward again." I was exasperated but I had to admit to myself that she was right. Seeing the glow in Edward's eyes when I had worn those blue pajamas had made her theft worth it, almost.

"Let's go inside," Edward said.

Alice led the way up the stairs and into the house. I could feel the tension in Edward as we walked inside. It was a large room and I was surprised to see that the whole back wall was glass, just like at the Cullen's home in Forks. Esme must have helped with the design of this home too.

The room was decorated in warm creams, caramels and chocolate browns. The walls were natural log and the entire feel was rustic without being hokey. The room we were in looked like the living room; there were several large couches and arm chairs. A huge natural stone fireplace took up the left wall and to my right there was a large staircase. Emmett and Rosalie were standing next to it. I was surprised; I had not expected to see them here.

Jasper was standing, leaning against a wall beside them. He looked uncomfortable and that made me sad. I did not want things to be awkward with Jasper. He looked at Edward and then seemed to relax a little. Alice went to stand by him and she put her arm around his shoulders. Carlisle and Esme were standing next to one of the couches and it was Esme who came forward first.

"Edward! It is so good to see you again, son." She hugged him and it looked like she might be crying, if that were possible.

"I'm glad to see you again too, Mom." Edward grinned. Esme gasped and smiled. Then she turned to me.

"Bella, thank you so, so much for what you have done. It means so much to all of us to have Edward back with us and it is all because of you." She kissed me softly on the forehead and pulled me into her embrace. I blushed at her welcome but I was happy to see her again too.

"I'm glad to see you again too, Esme. I've missed you." She hugged me tighter in response.

Carlisle walked up to Edward and hugged him. Then he turned and hugged me as well.  
"Thank you for giving us back our family, daughter." I felt tears form in my eyes at his words.

"Thanks Carlisle. It's good to see you again."

All the worry that I had felt at seeing Edward's family again dissipated in the face of their delighted reactions. Edward squeezed my hand and I looked up at him and smiled. He smiled my favorite crooked smile at me and I felt Esme's joy as she stood beside me.

"About time you showed up again Edward," Emmett's voice boomed across the room. "You too, Bella." He winked at me and I had to giggle. Everything was so easy and carefree with Emmett.

I saw Rosalie smile at me. She didn't come forward but she didn't look angry. It was enough.

I saw Alice gently nudge Jasper and he approached us warily. It seemed like everyone in the room went still, waiting for our reaction. Jasper stood in front of Edward and looked at him cautiously. Edward held out his arms and took Jasper into a bear hug. Neither spoke but I felt the tension ease and Emmett's laugh echoed around the room. Jasper looked up at Edward questioningly and I saw Edward nod.

Jasper turned to me and the room went still again.

He looked nervous and I smiled up at him. He took one of my hands in his cold one.

"Bella, I am so very sorry for what happened on your birthday. I swear to you that I will never ever hurt you. Can you ever forgive me for what happened?" He looked worried about my answer.

I reached out with my other hand and held his in both of mine.

"I forgave you the moment it happened, Jasper. I know that you would never harm me. Please don't give it another thought." I impulsively reached up and hugged him. He froze for a moment then hugged me back.

"Welcome back to the family, little sister." Jasper said. It was the first time he had ever acknowledged me that way and I felt tears of happiness in my eyes. I grinned up at him.

I felt all the tension in the room dissipate. I guessed that they must have been as worried about my reaction to Jasper as I had been about all of theirs.

I noticed for the first time that there were other people in the room besides Edward's family. There were five of them, all standing off to the left, watching the little family reunion. Edward introduced them.

"Bella, this is Tanya, Irina, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar. They are our other family."

They were all mind-blowingly beautiful. I nodded at them in welcome and they all came forward to introduce themselves one at a time. I wondered what they thought of me. I felt like a dandelion in a bouquet of roses.

One of the women, a gorgeous silvery blonde came forward first.

"I'm Irina and this is Kate," she motioned to another beautiful blonde woman who was standing next to her. "It is very nice to meet you at last." They smiled warmly at me. I could find nothing to say in the face of such staggering beauty so I just smiled and nodded in acknowledgement.

The dark haired couple introduced themselves next. "And I am Carmen and this is Eleazar. It is a pleasure to meet you. We have heard much about you from Carlisle and the rest of the family." They were a striking couple, with an olive tone to their pale skin. I felt myself blush hotly at their words. I was not sure what the Cullen's might have said about me, especially Emmett. They looked at me, seemingly perplexed by my reaction.

The last one to approach was a stunningly beautiful strawberry blonde. She looked at me questioningly and I felt Edward stiffen at my side. She looked him with a sheepish look and I decided I didn't want to know whatever it was that she had been thinking.

"I am Tanya," she said. "We are glad that you are here, you have made Edward very happy again."

"It is very nice to meet all of you as well." I looked around me in wonder. There were so many breathtakingly beautiful people around me, men and women, that I felt rather insignificant. Only knowing how much Edward loved and wanted me gave me any feeling of peace when surrounded by such magnificence. I looked up at him now and I knew he could read the uncertainty in my eyes. I wasn't sure where to progress from here. Edward stepped in and came to my rescue.

"Let's all sit down and talk," he suggested.


	18. Chapter 18

Edward

We pulled up in front of Tanya's house a few hours later. Alice was outside and down the stairs before we were able to get out of the car. She flitted up to me first and practically jumped into my arms to hug me fiercely.

"Edward!" she trilled. "I'm so glad to see you! It has been too long since I saw you last. You look so much better, happier." _Of course you do, you have your Bella back!_

There was no way I could stay mad at Alice. She had given me back everything I had ever wanted. I hugged her back just as tightly.

"I'm glad to see you again too, you little pixie." I grinned at her. She grinned back then released me.

She turned to Bella and hugged her too, though not nearly as hard as she had hugged me. It would have crushed Bella's bones if she had.

"Bella! I am so glad you did this. And you are wearing the clothes I bought you too!" She sounded almost as happy about that as seeing me again. The pink dress Bella wore was something she never would have picked herself but it suited her perfectly. She was stunning. Of course I always thought that.

Bella scowled at her. "You really didn't give me much choice, did you Alice? Since you stole all my clothes? It was wear these or nothing at all."

I tried to push _that_ image out of my mind. Thinking about Bella with no clothes on-well it didn't exactly help my concentration any.

"I had to Bella," Alice said. "Everything you packed was so _boring_. I knew you would want to look dazzling when you saw Edward again." Bella looked at her, exasperated.

"Let's go inside," I said. I could hear the anxious thoughts of my family.

Alice led the way up the porch stairs and into the house. My family was waiting for us in the living room. Carlisle and Esme were standing together next to a large couch, Jasper was leaning up against the wall and Rosalie and Emmett were standing near the staircase. I was surprised to see them; I had thought they were still in Africa. I heard everyone's thoughts as we walked in.

_He looks so happy again_-Esme

_I knew she would be good for him. He looks more at peace than I have seen in a long time_-Carlisle

_About time he stopped looking like he wants to leap off a bridge or murder everything in sight_-Emmett

_I still don't know what he sees in her but at least he is happy again-_Rosalie

Jasper's thoughts surprised me the most. I saw in his mind what he wanted to do and when he caught my eye I nodded slightly in his direction. He relaxed immediately.

Tanya and her family were standing off to the side. I felt them looking at Bella with curiosity.

"Edward! It is so good to see you again, son." _You look so happy! I've missed you so much! We can never thank Bella enough for bringing you back to us._ She came forward and hugged me very tightly. She looked like she would be crying if such a thing would have been possible. I felt horrible for having put her through so much worry about me.

"I'm glad to see you again too, Mom." I grinned at her and she gasped in delight. She turned to Bella, who was standing next me.

"Bella, thank you so, so much for what you have done. It means so much to all of us to have Edward back with us and it is all because of you." She gently kissed her on the forehead before hugging her tightly. Bella blushed bright red.

"I'm glad to see you again too, Esme. I've missed you." _She doesn't even realize what a wonderful thing she has done!_ Esme hugged Bella tighter.

Carlisle approached me and gave me a firm hug. _Glad that you are back with us, son._ He thought. _You have made all us very happy again._

He too turned to Bella and hugged her as well. "Thank you for giving us back our family, daughter." _She's part of this family now, Edward. Don't let her get away again. _I saw Bella's eyes fill with tears but she blinked them back.

"Thanks, Carlisle. It's good to see you again.

I squeezed her hand encouragingly and she smiled up at me. Esme's thoughts were joyous when I smiled back. She had thought I would never smile again. Neither had I for that matter.

"About time you showed up again Edward," Emmett's voice boomed across the room. _Good to see you so happy, bro. _

"You too, Bella." _She's a lot stronger than you thought she was isn't she? Going to get you like that took a lot of guts. _He winked at her and she giggled.

Rosalie didn't say anything but she smiled at me and Bella. She had never been demonstrative to either Bella or me but I could hear in her thoughts that she was glad I was home too.

Alice had gone to stand next to Jasper and was now gently pushing him forward. He approached us carefully and I could feel everyone tense with reaction. I held out my arms to him and took him in a bear hug.

_Thanks brother. _Everyone relaxed and Emmett laughed his booming laugh. I let go of him and he looked at me speculatively. _Is it alright?_ He thought. I nodded to him and he turned to face Bella. I felt everyone tense again.

He looked down at Bella apprehensively. She did not look nervous or scared. In fact she smiled shyly up at him. He reached down and took one of her hands in his.

"Bella, I am so very sorry for what happened on your birthday. I swear to you that I will never ever hurt you. Can you ever forgive me for what happened?" I saw him shift his feet nervously, awaiting her answer. _Please?_ He thought. Her forgiveness meant a lot to him, even though he didn't really think he would get it.

Bella took his hand in both of hers. "I forgave you the moment it happened, Jasper. I know that you would never harm me. Please don't give it another thought." Then she reached out and hugged him. I felt the shock of it go through everyone in the room. This was not the reaction they had expected. But they didn't know Bella.

Jasper was more shocked than anyone else. He had thought that Bella would hate him for everything that had happened on her birthday and afterwards. For her to forgive him so freely astounded him.

"Welcome back to the family, little sister." Jasper said. I could feel the waves of relief and elation pouring out of him and into the room. Bella looked up at him and grinned, tears in her eyes.

I could feel the speculation in Tanya's family and turned to make the introductions.

"Bella, this is Tanya, Irina, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar. They are our other family."

Bella nodded shyly at them and they came forward individually to introduce themselves.

"I'm Irina and this is Kate," she said, motioning to her sister. _She is very pretty_, Irina thought. _But she looks scared. It can't be because we are vampires. She must be shy. _"It is very nice to meet you at last." Bella nodded slightly. _Poor girl_, Kate thought, _she seems so shy. But sweet. Edward, it is wonderful to see you smile again. I thought you forgot how._ I smiled at her.

"And I am Carmen and this is Eleazar. It is a pleasure to meet you. We have heard much about you from Carlisle and the rest of the family." Bella blushed crimson at her words and they stared at her, bemused. _What a strange reaction_, Carmen thought. _She doesn't look like she likes to be the center of attention, _Eleazar thought. I guess no one had told them how averse to attention Bella was.

Tanya approached last. She looked at Bella inquisitively_. I suppose she is pretty_, she thought. _But I can't believe that _she_ is what all the fuss was about_. I stiffened and Tanya looked at me sheepishly. _ Sorry_, she thought. Tanya had made it clear to me a long time ago that she wished that we could be more than friends. I had gently refused but I knew she still thought about it. She could not understand the attraction that Bella had for me, despite the same kind of attraction that human men had for her.

"I am Tanya," she said to Bella now. "We are glad that you are here, you have made Edward very happy again." _Of course, I could have made Edward happy to…_her thoughts turned to all the ways she wanted to make me happy and I blocked them from my mind and then turned my attention to Bella.

"It is very nice to meet all of you as well." Bella said. She was staring in wonder at the group. She looked up at me and I could read the uncertainty in her eyes. She was uncomfortable around all these new people and the attention she had received from my family had embarrassed and bewildered her.

"Let's all sit down and talk," I suggested.


	19. Chapter 19

Bella

Edward took my hand and led me to one of the large, comfortable couches. He sat down to my left and Esme sat on his other side. She reached behind him and rested her hand on my shoulder. Jasper sat on my right and I was surprised and pleased when he took my right hand in his. I had been hoping to have a better relationship with him and it seemed like we were headed in that direction. Alice sat on the arm of couch next to Jasper and everyone else dispersed to the other furniture. For a moment I thought about how surreal it was to be the only human sitting with twelve vampires. Weird.

"So what are your plans now Edward?" Carlisle asked when we were all seated.

"Well, Bella has to be back for the beginning of the school year in three weeks. I plan on going back to finish out our senior year in Forks." I leaned against Edward's shoulder and reached for his hand. I had so much to look forward to now when my life had been so empty such a short time ago.

Edward turned and grinned at Jasper then raised my hand to his lips. I saw him look over at Emmett and roll his eyes.

"That is excellent, son. I will call the hospital and let them know that I want to come back. I don't think it will be a problem." Carlisle said.

Rosalie spoke for the first time. "I doubt it. You are the best thing that ever happened to that dinky little town. If they didn't welcome you back with open arms I would have some serious doubts about their mental capacity." Everyone laughed.

"I'm curious, Bella. How were you able to find Edward in a city as big as Rio?" Esme asked.

I felt my cheeks turn red when everyone turned to look at me curiously.

"It was just luck, really. I had a picture but I don't speak a lot of Spanish so getting people to understand what I wanted them to was kind of hard." Emmett laughed and I could not help smiling at him.

"I hope you didn't get too lost, little sister," he teased.

"Well, a couple of times," I said, blushing again.

Emmett was having a hard time staying in his chair, he was laughing so hard and I couldn't help joining in with everyone else when they laughed too. It _was_ funny, now.

I calmed down a little before continuing. "I was lucky to find a woman who spoke English and who remembered seeing Edward. She told me where I was likely to find him and I waited for him. Then he showed up. That's all, really."

I was not going to tell them every single detail of the reunion between Edward and me. Rio was somewhere I would hold in my heart and it was no one else's business but ours.

I was surprised to hear Tanya speak. She had been quiet, watching Edward and I carefully. Her tone was almost _too_ sweet.

"Bella, I'm curious, what caused you to go find Edward in the first place? We have all heard the story of what happened between you and Edward and I am surprised that you would do something like that after the way you were treated. It couldn't have been easy to go after him when he rejected you like that." I stiffened at the reminder of what had happened between Edward and me in the forest. I could not believe that a perfect stranger would bring up something that was so devastating and also none of her business. My cheeks were burning in anger and mortification. I did not like the idea of others knowing our past problems. Beside me I heard Edward growl softly in Tanya's direction. I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder stiffen and Jasper's grip on my right hand tightened.

Carlisle spoke. "Tanya, there is no reason to get into that. What's done is done and Bella's reasons are her own. We are just so happy to have _both_ of them back with us." I could hear a touch of anger in his tone that surprised me. Carlisle was always so cool and collected. "Let's focus on the family being whole again and forget the rest."

Alice decided to break the silence that followed Carlisle's words.

"So, Bella, do you want to go shopping with me when we get back to Forks? You are going to need all kinds of new stuff to start the school year."

I groaned. Shopping with Alice was akin to shaving my legs with a rusty butter knife.

"I have plenty of clothes, Alice." I sighed. "Or at least I did until you stole them all."

Everyone cast startled looks in Alice's direction and laughed. She was unabashed.

"You stole her clothes?" Rosalie asked, shaking with laughter.

"Well, everything she packed was so unstylish and boring. I knew she would want to knock Edward's socks off when he saw her again. And it obviously worked because here he is." My cheeks reddened as I remembered Edward's reaction to those silky blue pajamas. I felt him shake his head and laugh next to me. Glad my wardrobe was so amusing.

"Thanks a lot, Alice. Good to know how boring my clothes are. What did you do with them anyway, after you snuck them out of my suitcase?"

I didn't like the expression on her face. She looked chagrined and I had the sneaking suspicion that I would not like what she was going to tell me. It was confirmed when Edward laughed and then quickly smothered his amusement with his hand. His other hand squeezed mine in encouragement. This was going to be bad, I knew it.

"Well, really Bella, everything you had was so two years ago, and I knew that you could look so amazing in some of the newer fashions. I will help you pick out plenty of new stuff and you will never miss the old ones."

"Miss them? Alice, what did you DO?" My voice rose on the last word. Emmett was gasping for air, laughing.

"Well…I kind of…well… gave them to charity." She cringed when she said it.

"WHAT?? ALICE!! HOW COULD YOU?" I was screaming now but I didn't care. Edward was whispering something in my ear but my blood was pounding so hard I couldn't hear it. I felt wave after wave of calm hit me and knew Jasper was trying to calm me down. It had very little effect. I felt myself shaking in anger and my fists were balled up tightly. One of them anyway. I had a death grip on Edward's hand.

"I will buy you brand new ones, Bella, I promise." Alice exclaimed. "You will never miss your old ones, really." Her voice was pleading and I knew that I had to calm down. I was livid but I knew that being angry wasn't going to help me deal with Alice. I felt Jasper hit me with another wave of calm and it helped a lot more this time. I felt the angry tears in my eyes and I could not quite find the ability to speak yet.

"You should not have done that, Alice. Bella has a right to wear whatever she feels comfortable in. Giving away all her clothes was inexcusable." Esme said reproachfully.

Alice hung her head but I could still see the excitement in her eyes. She was itching to play Dress Up Bella. Edward rubbed his hand on my back soothingly and I looked up at him. I was trying to stay calm but I told him with my eyes that Alice would have hell to pay for this. He seemed to understand.

"So…Did you enjoy Rio, Bella?" Carlisle asked. Poor Carlisle. He was always trying to play peacemaker.

I had to take a deep breath before I could reply. "Actually I did, once I found Edward that is." I smiled up at him. "He gave me a tour of the city and there was just so _much_." I could hear the enthusiasm in my voice. "We went to an open air market and there were so many things to see. There was even a monkey I thought about bringing home to you Emmett; you two seemed so similar I thought the two of you might get along." I couldn't help grinning at Emmett as I teased him. He laughed loudly then he was suddenly standing before me. Before I could even blink he lifted me up under my arms and was swinging me around in a circle.

"Good to have you back with us, little bit," he said, his laughter booming. I couldn't help laughing too. I had really missed Emmett.

"Put her down and stop being such a jackass Emmett, if you can that is." Rosalie was standing next to us and I saw with relief that she was smiling a little. I was not Rosalie's favorite person.

Emmett lowered me to the floor and turned like a cobra strike and picked Rosalie up. He twirled her around too. She was laughing softly.

"Put me down you big ox! Sheesh, if I didn't know better I would think you were twelve years old." I could tell she was amused despite her words.

I sat down next to Edward again and took his hand in mine. Jasper reached over and took my hand again and when I looked at him both he and Alice were watching Emmett play, big grins on their face. Carlisle came over to stand by Esme and she stood up and wrapped her arms around him. They both looked so happy and content. I could tell they were enjoying the carefree atmosphere that Emmett had created.

I felt Edward brush a kiss against my forehead and I looked up at him and smiled.

Everyone sat back down again and to my utter mortification my stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly. Twelve heads turned in my direction. I felt my face burn so hot I thought I might burst into flames.

"Sorry," Edward said. "I keep forgetting to make sure you eat." I looked up at him, embarrassed beyond words. Esme came to my rescue.

"Come on, Bella. We have plenty of food in the kitchen." She stood and reached for my hand and I took it, relieved.


	20. Chapter 20

Edward

We all went to sit down on the couches in the living room. I was glad the room was so spacious. Bella sat next to me on my right. Esme sat on my left and put her arm around my shoulder and onto Bella's. To my surprise, Jasper sat on the other side of Bella and he reached out and took her hand in his. Bella looked surprised too but not uncomfortable. I was glad that Jasper had been able to finally forgive himself. Bella's complete understanding and forgiveness of him had gone a long way in helping their relationship. Alice sat on the arm of the couch next to Jasper and everyone else seated themselves on the various other couches and armchairs.

Carlisle was the first to speak.

"So what are your plans now Edward?" he asked.

"Well, Bella has to be back for the beginning of the school year in three weeks. I plan on going back to finish out our senior year in Forks."

Bella leaned against my shoulder and took my hand in hers. I could feel the contentment radiating out of her. I knew Jasper felt it too.

_You two are so full of happiness I am surprised you can contain it all_, Jasper thought.

I grinned at him. I _was_ full of happiness-happy to be with Bella, to be with my family, to finally have something to live for again.

I brought my Bella's hand to my lips. _Ugh Edward, how cheesy can you be? Kiss her the right way already_, Emmett thought. I rolled my eyes at him.

"That is excellent, son. I will call the hospital and let them know that I want to come back. I don't think it will be a problem." Carlisle said.

"I doubt it," Rosalie put in, speaking for the first time. "You are the best thing that ever happened to that dinky little town. If they didn't welcome you back with open arms I would have some serious doubts about their mental capacity."

Everyone laughed.

"I'm curious, Bella. How were you able to find Edward in a city as big as Rio?" Esme asked.

Bella blushed as twelve pairs of vampire eyes focused on her.

"It was just luck, really. I had a picture but I don't speak a lot of Spanish so getting people to understand what I wanted them to was kind of hard." Emmett laughed out loud and Bella smiled at him.

"I hope you didn't get too lost, little sister," Emmett teased.

Bella blushed again. "Well," she said sheepishly, "a couple of times." Emmett almost fell out of his chair laughing and Bella joined in with everyone else.

I didn't find it quite as funny and turned to glare at Alice. She knew what I was thinking.

_I know, I know. But she was fine, really. I told her not to go out at night unless it was an absolute emergency. And I stayed in Rio for a few days to make sure she was okay, she just doesn't know that. I only left when I saw that her path was going to intersect yours. She was completely safe._ I was mollified, for now.

Bella was speaking again. "I was lucky to find a woman who spoke English and who remembered seeing Edward. She told me where I was likely to find him and I waited for him. Then he showed up. That's all, really."

There was much, much more to it than that but neither Bella nor I wanted to reveal anymore about our reunion. Rio was our special place now and it was no one else's business.

Tanya spoke suddenly. I hadn't been focusing on her and her words took me by surprise. "Bella, I'm curious, what caused you to go find Edward in the first place? We have all heard the story of what happened between you and Edward and I am surprised that you would do something like that after the way you were treated. It couldn't have been easy to go after him when he rejected you like that."

She had a smug look on her face and I felt the maliciousness behind her question in her mind. She wanted to remind Bella how much I had hurt her. She still thought she might have a chance to change my mind. Unbelievable.

I felt Bella stiffen by my side and her hand clenched mine in reflex. I saw her cheeks burn cherry red and I knew she was embarrassed that strangers seemed to know all about what had happened between us. I growled softly at Tanya.

I saw Esme's head whip around in Tanya's direction. _How dare she say something like that? How cruel!_

Jaspers thoughts were running in the same direction. _There is no reason to bring that up again! Especially when it is such a sore spot with all of us. How can she be such a bitch? Just because Edward prefers Bella to her. That's just cruel!_

Carlisle broke the uncomfortable silence. "Tanya, there is no reason to get into that. What's done is done and Bella's reasons are her own. We are just so happy to have _both_ of them back with us." I liked the way he emphasized _both_.

"Let's focus on the family being whole again and forget the rest." _And stop trying to hurt my family._ I heard him think angrily. _We are just getting everything back together and you will _not _tear it apart! _I was shocked by the vehemence in his thoughts. Carlisle was always so calm, even in his mind. To hear how angry he was inside at Tanya's machinations gave me a new respect for him.

"So, Bella," Alice said, "do you want to go shopping with me when we get back to Forks? You are going to need all kinds of new stuff to start the school year."

Bella groaned in dread at the thought. I knew that they very last thing that she wanted, other than being apart from me, was to go shopping with Alice.

"I have plenty of clothes, Alice." Bella sighed. "Or at least I did until you stole them all."

Everyone looked at Alice, who did not look chagrined in the least, and laughed.

"You stole her clothes?" Rosalie asked, shaking with laughter.

"Well, everything she packed was so unstylish and boring. I knew she would want to knock Edward's socks off when he saw her again." Bella's cheeks reddened. "And it obviously worked because here he is."

I shook my head and laughed. There were a few outfits that I had been glad Alice had slipped into Bella's luggage-those blue pajamas especially-but I would gladly burn to a pile of ash before I ever, ever told Alice that.

"Thanks a lot, Alice. Good to know how boring my clothes are. What did you do with them anyway, after you snuck them out of my suitcase?"

Alice looked sheepish now. I read what she was thinking and barked out a laugh before throwing my hand over my mouth. My hand tightened on Bella's; she was not going to like this.

"Well, really Bella, everything you had was so two years ago, and I knew that you could look so amazing in some of the newer fashions. I will help you pick out plenty of new stuff and you will never miss the old ones."

"Miss them? Alice, what did you DO?" Bella was yelling now. Emmett was laughing so hard he could not take a breath.

"Well…I kind of…well… gave them to charity." Alice cringed.

"WHAT?? ALICE!! HOW COULD YOU?" Bella was screeching now. I was trying to whisper calming words in her ear and Jasper was sending wave after wave of calm in her direction. It didn't seem to be helping. She was shaking with anger and her fists were clenched tightly, including the one holding mine.

"I will buy you brand new ones, Bella, I promise." Alice exclaimed. "You will never miss your old ones, really." She was pleading now.

Bella was seething next to me and I could see she was doing everything possible to calm down. I nodded at Jasper and he sent another flood of peaceful feelings her way. It seemed to work better this time but I could see she was not able to speak yet. There were angry tears in her eyes.

Esme was reproachful. "You should not have done that, Alice. Bella has a right to wear whatever she feels comfortable in. Giving away all her clothes was inexcusable."

Alice hung her head. She did feel bad, though more about Bella's reaction than about giving away her clothes. She was excited about shopping for new ones for her. I knew that to Bella, shopping with Alice was like descending into the seventh circle of hell.

I rubbed my hand up and down Bella's back and she looked up at me. She was very unhappy about this but she was trying to be calm. She didn't want to continue to make a scene. I knew from her face though that Alice was going to be in big trouble when Bella finally got her alone.

"So…Did you enjoy Rio, Bella?" Carlisle asked. He was trying to get the conversation back to more mundane topics.

Bella took a deep breath before speaking. "Actually I did, once I found Edward that is." She smiled up at me. "He gave me a tour of the city and there was just so _much_." Her voice was more enthusiastic now. "We went to an open air market and there were so many things to see. There was even a monkey I thought about bringing home to you Emmett; you two seemed so similar I thought the two of you might get along." She grinned and Emmett guffawed loudly. Suddenly he jumped up to stand in front of Bella. Before anyone knew what he was doing he had lifted her up and was swinging her around in a circle.

"Good to have you back with us, little bit," he said, laughing loudly. Bella was laughing so hard she shook in Emmett's arms.

Rosalie pushed herself out of her chair and came to stand next to them. "Put her down and stop being such a jackass Emmett, if you can that is." She was smiling slightly as she said it and I could hear in her mind that she was happy to see Emmett so happy again. My leaving had taken some of the joy out of him and it was starting to resurface now and she was grateful.

Emmett lowered Bella gently to the ground and turned in a lightning quick move and picked Rosalie up. She got the same treatment Bella had but her laughter was a little more contained. "Put me down you big ox! Sheesh, if I didn't know better I would think you were twelve years old." There was amusement in her voice.

Carlisle came to stand next to Esme and she stood and wrapped her arms around him. I could hear that they were both overjoyed to have their family back together. Seeing the playfulness that had been absent for too long made them very happy. I looked over at Alice and Jasper. They were holding hands and grinning at Emmett's antics. Bella sat down on the couch next to me again and took my hand. Once again Jasper took her other one and I could hear how grateful he was to her for causing this change in our family.

Emmett put Rosalie down and they walked hand in hand back to the couch. Tanya's family was looking at us all in wonder and I could hear how shocked they were in the change that had come over us all. We were happy and carefree again. They looked at Bella with a new respect that delighted me. Seeing everyone in such high spirits had me ecstatic. I was more thankful than ever that Bella'd had the courage to come find me. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and she turned to smile at me. Esme's joy emanated from her in waves.

Suddenly Bella's stomach grumbled and the whole room heard it. Everyone turned to look at Bella. Her cheeks burned brighter than I had ever seen before and I was alarmed that she might actually faint from embarrassment.

"Sorry," I said. "I keep forgetting to make sure you eat." She looked up at me, mortified.

Esme spoke up. "Come on, Bella. We have plenty of food in the kitchen." She stood up and reached for Bella's hand. Bella took it gratefully. She seemed relieved as Esme led her from the room.


	21. Chapter 21

Bella

I followed Esme into the spacious kitchen. The appliances were a little outdated but that was to be expected in a kitchen where no one cooked. It was bright with a big window that overlooked the backyard. There was a table off to the side with six chairs around it. I shook my head. Vampires and their props. Esme went to the refrigerator and opened it.

"What would you like?" she asked.

I laughed. "What do you have? I guess more importantly, why is there food here at all?"

Esme smiled at me. "We knew you were coming of course, thanks to Alice. But they keep human food here anyway. Tanya and her sisters often have human guests." I flinched a little when she said Tanya's name. I hadn't forgotten her words from before. Esme noticed and smiled softly.

"Don't let her bother you. She has always had a soft spot for Edward, though he has never given her the least bit of encouragement. She is a little jealous that you have managed to steal his heart." I rolled my eyes at the thought of Tanya being jealous of a mere human.

I looked in the refrigerator and saw plenty of stuff for a fruit salad. I looked in the cabinets until I found a bowl then pulled open the drawers until I found a small knife. I turned to Esme.

"Would you mind terribly cutting up the pineapple for me? With my luck I'm likely to slip and cut a main artery." Esme's laughter echoed around the room.

After the fruit was prepared I sat in one of the chairs at the dining room table. Esme sat across from me and smiled affectionately. I could see how happy she was to have her family back together again.

"It is so good to see you again, Esme. I've missed you. You're like my mom away from home, if you know what I mean."

She reached across the table and squeezed my free hand gently. "I've missed you too. I think of you as my daughter and I am glad you are back with us. My family is complete now and it is all because of you." I blushed and shook my head.

"Bella, you don't know what it has been like around here. Emmett wouldn't laugh and Rosalie was more upset than she let most of us know. Jasper spent most of his time alone because there was so much sadness coming from everyone. Alice even spent less time shopping." My eyes widened at that and she nodded her head.

"Edward doesn't understand how much at the heart of this family he is. When we first came here, you know, after, it was so hard on him. He could tell how much his anguish at leaving you was hurting us. We couldn't do anything to make him feel better; our sympathy only seemed to make it worse. Soon he just left, gone for weeks at a time. When he would come back we were so happy to see him and so distressed at how much he was suffering. Finally he stopped coming back at all. He would call us, let us know he was ok, but we could tell how much he was hurting."

There were tears in my eyes. Edward had suffered so much. His leaving had hurt me too but hearing that he had been so distraught upset me even more. He had been trying to do the right thing by me. I had suffered but I could not be too angry at him for wanting me to be happy and safe.

"Esme, I'm so sorry. Sorry that you and Edward and the rest of the family had to suffer so much. Do you ever think that you all would have been better off if I had never come into Edward's life? All I have done is bring suffering on all of you." I grimaced at the thought of their misery.

"Bella, no." Esme squeezed my hand firmly. "Bella, you have no idea how much brightness you have brought to our lives by your mere presence." I looked at her skeptically. "I mean it, Bella." Her voice was firm.

"Before you, Edward merely existed. He traveled though his life, doing what was expected of him, but not really living it. He would have moments of happiness, of joy, excitement, but really he just wandered. Then, after he met you and fell in love with you, Bella, it was like suddenly the sun emanated from him. And he brought all that light to the whole family. He was so happy the rest of us were infected by it too. Like a virus." I smiled at the thought of viral happiness. Esme continued.

"I have never seen him so happy as when he was with you. I heard him laugh more often than I could ever remember. He even started playing the piano again, something he hadn't done in almost a decade. That was you, Bella. You caused those changes in him. He saw in you the things we have all come to see. Your kind and generous nature. How selfless and good you are, what a beautiful soul you have. And we love you for the same reasons." She sighed when I shook my head in denial.

"You don't see how special you really are, do you? Bella, from the first moment, you accepted us for _what_ we are and loved us for _who_ we are. That is such a rare thing, in a human or a vampire. You have such a huge capacity for love and we are so glad to have you with us, in our family."

I sat there, stunned. I had no idea that they thought that way.

"But Esme, you are all so wonderful how can anyone help but to love you?"

She laughed. "That's exactly what I mean Bella. Not everyone can love so completely, with such acceptance. You are truly special."

"Thank you, Esme."

"Thank _you_, Bella. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to go track Edward down, more than I can fathom. I will be forever thankful for your strength; I don't know many people who could be that strong."  
"I'm not that strong, Esme. I was terrified the whole time, worried I was making a huge fool of myself. I had no idea what he would do, what he would say. I was ready to come back home. What was I doing? Chasing someone who had rejected me; I felt pathetic. It hurt me so much when he left me. I didn't know his real reasons. I thought I was unloved and un-loveable. I mean really, Edward is so amazing and I have always felt so insignificant next to him. When he told me that he didn't want me, that I wasn't good for him, it wasn't so hard to believe. How could I ever be good enough for an angel?" I laughed without humor.

"Bella, my dear sweet Bella. Please don't ever feel that way. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him. You complete him in a way I thought he never would be able to be. You are not insignificant. You fill up the holes in his soul and he does the same for you. You belong together; you were made for each other." Esme always said the right things. There were tears in my eyes again. I brushed them aside.

"Well, now that I know the reason he left I feel better. Angry but better. And there is no way I am ever going to let him get away from me again. Next time he might go to Siberia or something. If you think my Spanish is bad you should hear my Russian." We both laughed. I got up and rinsed my bowl in the sink. Esme followed and when I turned around she enveloped me in a hug. It felt so good to have her hold me, soothing away all my pain and helping me see that everything would be alright. We stood that way for a long time. Sometimes you just need a hug.


	22. Chapter 22

Edward

I tried to pay attention to what was going on around me but the bulk of my attention was focused on the kitchen. Everyone had separated into their own private conversations. Jasper and Emmett were talking about a hunting trip. I needed to go with them. It had been almost two weeks since I had hunted last. The thirst was starting to burn within me. They were making plans to go to a spot where they knew there were some bears. I was only half listening.

I tuned into Esme and saw her open the refrigerator and ask Bella what she wanted. Bella looked amused by that and asked why they even had food at all. Esme told her that Tanya and her sisters often had human guests. Bella didn't ask why and I was glad. I didn't want any thoughts to be put in her head. I saw the way she flinched at Tanya's name and so did Esme.

_That witch!_ Esme thought. _She knew exactly what she was doing, trying to hurt Bella like that! Well, I am not going to allow that!_ Esme's thoughts were vehement but her voice was soft when she spoke.

_Don't let her bother you. She has always had a soft spot for Edward, though he has never given her the least bit of encouragement. She is a little jealous that you have managed to steal his heart._ Esme told her. I saw Bella roll her eyes. Didn't she know she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen? Tanya could never hold a candle to her.

I watched Bella hunt around the kitchen. I laughed out loud when she asked Esme to cut up the fruit for her. She was right; she would probably cut herself. Esme's laughter echoed out of the kitchen a few seconds later. Everyone looked at me and I quickly excused myself outside. I wanted to hear Bella and Esme's discussion without interruptions.

I sat down on the far corner of the porch, well out of the way and focused back on Esme.

_-good to see you again, Esme. I've missed you. You're like my mom away from home, if you know what I mean._ I felt Esme's happiness.

_I've missed you too. I think of you as my daughter and I am glad you are back with us. My family is complete now and it is all because of you. _Bella's skin turned the lovely shade of pink that I adored and she shook her head to deny it.

_Bella, you don't know what it has been like around here. Emmett wouldn't laugh and Rosalie was more upset than she let most of us know. Jasper spent most of his time alone because there was so much sadness coming from everyone. Alice even spent less time shopping._ I saw Bella's eyes widen.

_Edward doesn't understand how much at the heart of this family he is. When we first came here, you know, after, it was so hard on him. He could tell how much his anguish at leaving you was hurting us. We couldn't do anything to make him feel better; our sympathy only seemed to make it worse. Soon he just left, gone for weeks at a time. When he would come back we were so happy to see him and so distressed at how much he was suffering. Finally he stopped coming back at all. He would call us, let us know he was ok, but we could tell how much he was hurting._

I felt disgusted with myself. How had I let my pain hurt so many people that I cared about? I was such a horrible selfish person.

I saw through Esme's eyes that Bella had tears in hers. _Esme, I'm so sorry. Sorry that you and Edward and the rest of the family had to suffer so much. Do you ever think that you all would have been better off if I had never come into Edward's life? All I have done is bring suffering on all of you. _Her face twisted into a grimace. I could not imagine what my life would be like if I had not met Bella. She had become the center of my world so absolutely that I could not remember what my previous life had been like.

_Bella, no._ _Bella, you have no idea how much brightness you have brought to our lives by your mere presence_. Bella looked at her skeptically. _I mean it, Bella._ Her voice was firm with conviction. _She needs to understand how amazing she is, _Esme thought.

_Before you, Edward merely existed. He traveled though his life, doing what was expected of him, but not really living it. He would have moments of happiness, of joy, excitement, but really he just wandered. Then, after he met you and fell in love with you, Bella it was like suddenly the sun emanated from him. And he brought all that light to the whole family. He was so happy the rest of us were infected by it too. Like a virus._

Bella smiled at that. I hadn't realized that everyone else had been so affected. All I had been able to concentrate on was Bella; I had been oblivious to everything else. Of course, I was still that way.

_I have never seen him so happy as when he was with you. I heard him laugh more often than I could ever remember. He even started playing the piano again, something he hadn't done in almost a decade. That was you, Bella. You caused those changes in him. He saw in you the things we have all come to see. Your kind and generous nature. How selfless and good you are, what a beautiful soul you have. And we love you for the same reasons. _She sighed when Bella shook her head in denial.

_You don't see how special you really are do you? Bella, from the first moment, you accepted us for _what_ we are and loved us for _who_ we are. That is such a rare thing, in a human or a vampire. You have such a huge capacity for love and we are so glad to have you with us, in our family._ I was glad that my family was able to see all the wonderful things that I loved about Bella.

Bella looked surprised by Esme's words.

_But Esme, you are all so wonderful how can anyone help but to love you?_

Esme laughed. _That's exactly what I mean Bella. Not everyone can love so completely, with such acceptance. You are truly special._ She really was.

_Thank you, Esme._

_Thank _you_, Bella. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to go track Edward down, more than I can fathom. I will be forever thankful for your strength; I don't know many people who could be that strong._ I was still amazed by that courage.

Bella frowned. _I'm not that strong, Esme. I was terrified the whole time, worried I was making a huge fool of myself. I had no idea what he would do, what he would say. I was ready to come back home. What was I doing? Chasing someone who had rejected me; I felt pathetic. It hurt me so much when he left me. I didn't know his real reasons. I thought I was unloved and un-loveable. I mean really, Edward is so amazing and I have always felt so insignificant next to him. When he told me that he didn't want me, that I wasn't good for him, it wasn't so hard to believe. How could I ever be good enough for an angel?_ Bella laughed without amusement.

I sat there, stunned. I had no idea she felt that way. _She_ felt insignificant? Next to _me_? I was so in awe of everything about her. She was a hundred times better than I could ever hope to be and she thought she wasn't good enough for _me_? I couldn't believe it.

It hurt me to hear that she felt un-loveable; the pain of it burned in my chest. I had damaged her self esteem so much and I knew I would do everything in my power to make her understand how truly wonderful she was.

_Bella, my dear sweet Bella. Please don't ever feel that way. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him. You complete him in a way I thought he never would be able to be. You are not insignificant. You fill up the holes in his soul and he does the same for you. You belong together; you were made for each other. _

I would be forever lucky that Esme was my mother. She always knew the perfect thing to say. It was true. I felt complete, whole when I was with Bella. We _did _belong together. Nothing would be able to keep us apart ever again.

I saw Bella brush tears from her eyes.

_Well, now that I know the reason he left I feel better. Angry but better. And there is no way I am ever going to let him get away from me again. Next time he might go to Siberia or something. If you think my Spanish is bad you should hear my Russian._

I laughed out loud. Bella's Spanish _was _atrocious. I understood her anger now too. I was angry at myself for what I had done to her. Somehow I would find a way to make that pain go away. Until then I would simply give her all the love I had. And that was an awful lot.

I watched Bella and Esme hold each other for a long time. Then I heard the front door open and Jasper came out.

_We are leaving in about an hour to go hunt. Are you coming with us? _It had been a while since I had hunted with my brothers and we were all looking forward to it.

I nodded my head and went inside to find Bella.


	23. Chapter 23

Bella

I drifted over to the large window that overlooked the back yard. Esme followed me and wrapped her arm around my waist. I wrapped my arm around hers and we stood there, both content and both lost in our own thoughts. That is how Edward found us when he came in. I turned without letting go of Esme and smiled at him. I always felt a kind of relief when he was with me again.

I held out my free hand and he took it. He came to stand on my free side and wrapped his arm around me. I could feel him take Esme's hand in his behind me. I looked up at him. He was looking out the window but looked down at me when he felt my gaze.

"Jasper and Emmett want me to go hunting with them. Do you mind?" he asked, looking a little anxious. I was not certain why he would be anxious but I didn't want him to suffer. His eyes were already turning black with thirst. He was probably worrying about leaving me alone. Some things never change. That thought made me smile.

"Of course not, don't be silly. I'm not the only one around here who needs to eat." I laughed. Our eating habits were quite different.

"You need to take care of yourself. Go. It has been too long since you have spent time with them. I'll be here when you get back." I smiled up at him.

He kissed me on the forehead and nodded. Then I felt his cool breath on my neck as he whispered in my ear. "Look after my heart; I'm leaving it here with you." He squeezed my waist softly and was gone.

I looked over at Esme and she was smiling so hard her face might crack. I blushed when I realized that she must have heard Edward.

"Come on, dear. Let me show you your room."

We went outside to the car and retrieved the bags. Well, Esme retrieved the bags, picking up my large one and Edward's two smaller ones in one hand. I was shocked for a moment then I had to laugh to myself. Vampire. Esme was so small it was hard to grasp that she was just as strong as Edward or Jasper.

We went back inside and up the stairs. We made our way down the hall and into one of the rooms on the left side of the hallway. It was not an overly large room but it had an attached bathroom and two large windows that offered a lovely view of the forest. It had been decorated in several soft shades of blue. Esme put both Edward's and my bags next to the closet door and I realized that we were sharing a bedroom. I felt my face burn hotly.

Esme noticed and smiled gently. "With so many of us here there aren't any other empty rooms. You and Edward can share this one. It would seem strange to put you in separate rooms anyway."

I nodded without meeting her eyes and she left the room.

I sat down on the bed to calm myself down. This really wasn't anything to be embarrassed about. It wasn't like Edward and I were doing anything anyway. He set very strict limits on our physical relationship. He was worried about losing control and hurting me. And he had spent every night for almost four months in my room anyway. It just felt kind of weird having it sanctioned by his family. Well, there was nothing to be done about it now. I rummaged in my luggage for my toiletry bag and put it in the bathroom.

Then I went to find Alice.

I walked down the hall, calling her name and she poked her pixie head out of one of the rooms. "Are you looking for me Bella?"

"You bet I am. We need to talk."

"Come in then." She motioned for me to come into her room. I noticed when I entered that her room was the mirror image of mine, though without the bathroom. It must be the room that she used frequently because it was done in all pink shades. It was like standing inside a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. She sat cross-legged on the bed and I stood in front of her with my hands on my hips. I just glared at her for a moment.

"Alright Bella, just say what you want to say." She sighed.

"Alice how could you have given away all my clothes? I _liked_ my clothes! That's why I wore them. I am not here for you to play Bella Barbie with you know." I was working myself into a temper. "I _hate_ shopping!" I saw her cringe when I said it. "You had absolutely no right to do that. Some of the things I packed were my favorites. And I don't have the money to be able just to go out and buy all new clothes." She opened her mouth and I cut her off.

"Didn't you think that Charlie would be a_ little_ suspicious if I came home from doing charity work in a foreign country with a whole new wardrobe? I know you think he doesn't notice those kinds of things but you're wrong. Seeing Edward and I back together is going to send him into a fit as it is; this won't help. I know you meant well but really Alice, you are making my life a whole lot more difficult than it has to be." I finished my rant and took a few deep breaths to calm myself.

Alice got up off the bed and put her arms around me. I kept my arms at my sides.

"Bella, I am really sorry that you are so upset. I really didn't want that. And don't worry about Charlie, we will tell him they lost your luggage and you had to get new stuff. And I promise that shopping with me with be easy. You won't have to worry about anything. Just please Bella, please, please, please let me do this for you. You won't regret it I promise."

"I seriously doubt that Alice." I said resignedly. I knew when I was beaten; I could never stand up to Alice's pleading for long; I didn't have much choice anyway. If I didn't I would be wearing tropical sundresses this winter; I had almost no other clothes. I sighed and put my arms around her. She hugged me back for a moment then grabbed my hand and led me to the bed. We sat down next to each other and she turned to face me. Her pale perfect face was excited and her eyes were dancing.

"Now, tell me, did _Edward_ like what you wore?" She asked. I rolled my eyes.

Rosalie knocked on the door a while later. Alice was making me describe in detail what I had worn when I had found Edward and his reaction. I was grateful for the interruption. Alice's enthusiasm could be very tiring.

Rosalie came in and sat on the bed with us. Her breathtakingly beautiful face was calm, without the usual angry look she usually gave me.

"So what are you two doing?" she asked.

"Alice is making me tell her, in minute detail, everything I wore in Rio."

Rosalie laughed softy at the disgruntled look on my face.

"It is a good thing I came to save you then."

"But I haven't heard everything yet, Rose." Alice whined.

"Alice, you know she doesn't want to tell you every single solitary thing she wore. You already know what her options were. You were the one that bought them all."

I scowled at the reminder. "That reminds me, Alice. We need to set some ground rules about this whole shopping thing."

"What kind of rules?" Alice asked warily.

"Okay, we both know that I don't have much choice except to let you pay for new clothes for me." She owed me new stuff for getting rid of my old clothes.

"But, you are not going to go overboard." I held up my hand when she would have spoken.

"You can buy me what I need and a few extras but I am not going to let you fill up my closet to the rafters like yours is." Alice pouted.

"That face is not working this time, girlie. Second I get ultimate veto power over everything you pick out." Alice crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at me.

"If you accept those rules then I will make you a promise in return."

Alice perked up a little. "What kind of promise?"  
"I promise that I will be open-minded about the stuff you pick out and I will try my best not to whine or argue too much. Deal?" I held out my hand to shake on it.

Alice hesitated for a moment, then shook my hand, grinning.

What had I gotten myself into? I thought.

We sat for a while longer. Alice and Rosalie were discussing the best places to shop for my new wardrobe. I was only half listening. I couldn't wait to see Edward again. I laughed inwardly. He had only been gone a few hours and I already missed him. I had it bad.

Rosalie called my name to get my attention.

"Bella, did you hear me?"

"Sorry, Rosalie, my mind was somewhere else."

She shook her head and laughed. "I'll bet on where it was." She grinned slyly at me.

"I can hear them coming back to the house. Emmett always crashes through the trees like a bulldozer. Let's go down and meet them."

We all got up and walked down the stairs.

I heard Carlisle laughing as we made our way downstairs. As soon as the living room came into view I could see why. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing myself.

Edward, Jasper and Emmett stood together, looking like they had just survived a tornado.

Jasper's shirt was dirty and torn, almost one whole sleeve was torn off. His pants were not much better. Emmett had a huge gash in the front of his shirt and there was a stick in his hair. And Edward looked more disheveled than I had ever seen him. His shirt had several dirt stains and the left knee of his jeans were ripped. He had several grass stains on them. And in his glorious bronze hair, there were several leaves sticking out. He looked so adorable, like a wood nymph. A sexy wood nymph.

"Emmett is that the shirt I gave you?" Rose sounded angry.

"Um, I'm not sure, maybe." Emmett sounded a little afraid. Rosalie turned her back on him but I could see the slight smile on her face as she stalked back up the stairs. Poor Emmett, he was in for it.

"Aww, Rose! We were just having fun!" He called, following her up the stairs.

Edward and Jasper were laughing so hard they were holding onto each other for support.

"You look terrible, Jazz! It's not going to be easy to get that shirt clean. Come on, let's get you changed." Alice sounded annoyed but her eyes were sparkling. I could bet she was thinking about buying him a new one. When Jasper groaned and followed her upstairs I was pretty sure I was right.

I walked over to Edward and grinned at him. It was so go good to see him happy and relaxed. He grinned back at me.

"You look great to me." I couldn't resist giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"It makes me happy to see you play with your brothers again. I brought your bag up to the room. Come on." I held out my hand and he took it.

I led him upstairs and opened the door to the room Esme had given us. I turned and saw Edward looking at my luggage with a surprised look on his face. Did he think I had asked Esme to put us together? I blushed at the thought.

"Esme put us in here together. She said that there wasn't another empty room and that we should share." I could not look at him as I said it; I was too embarrassed.

Edward came forward and took my chin in his fingers. He tilted my head up and kissed me.

"I don't mind and neither should you. It is exactly the arrangement that I would have asked for if I had thought about it. You know how much I like listening to you talk in your sleep. I've missed that." He winked at me and I rolled my eyes. How he could sit for hours on end and watch me sleep still mystified me.

"Besides, would you rather get caught sneaking into my room to sleep next to me?" I blushed at the thought of being caught in the hall outside Edward's room. Emmett would never let me live that one down if it happened.

"Me neither, so this is the best way. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. In here we are the only two people in the world, okay?"

I liked that. Just me and Edward. That is all I would ever need.

Edward decided to take a shower and I waited in the room for him to be done. I was staring out the window, watching a squirrel play when I heard the bathroom door open. I turned and the breath was knocked out of me.

Edward was wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, nothing special but the jeans fit him just right and the shirt emphasized the muscles in his chest and arms. His still damp hair was a glorious mess as usual, a darker bronze thanks to the water. He was absolutely gorgeous.

He caught me ogling him. He raised his eyebrow and smirked at me. I blushed, hoping he could not read the lust full thoughts in my mind and giggled. He would not grin then. I reached for his hand and he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Come on," I said. "I think everyone else went downstairs."

Before I could take more than a step he pulled me to a stop. I turned to look at him, wondering what he was doing.

"One thing, before we go downstairs." He pulled me close and his melted gold eyes were looking into mine intensely. I was surprised for a minute but then I read his intent. I looked at his perfect full lips and smiled. My tongue touched my lip and he bent down and kissed me.

I could kiss Edward forever. His lips were cool and hard but so gentle on mine. I wrapped my arms around his waist and dug my fingers into his shirt. I loved touching him. He threaded his fingers into my hair and tilted my mouth into his kiss. His lips became for forceful, more passionate and I loved it. My breathing was becoming more erratic and I could feel my fingers opening and closing, clutching his shirt. I felt his cool tongue trace my bottom lip and my mouth parted slightly, a soft moan escaping. One hand released my head and slipped around my waist, pulling me closer to his marble hard body. I could feel the passion building in me and I shivered at the force of it. I wanted to be closer to him, feel his skin against mine.

But I could feel Edward gentling the kiss, his grip on my hair and my waist become looser. Soon his lips were barely brushing mine, though they still felt electric. I had my eyes closed when he finally pulled away and opened them slowly. His eyes were glowing with passion, sparkling like new cut topaz.

He rested his forehead against mine and his breath was as ragged as mine. I felt powerful for a moment, gratified I could spark such a response.

"Hmm," He said huskily "remind me to thank Esme for putting us in here together."

I felt myself go pink. "Me too." I kissed him then pulled away so I could look into his eyes.

"Though, that would have been worth getting caught sneaking into your room for." I grinned at the expression of shock on his face and pulled him out of the room.


	24. Chapter 24

Edward

I found Bella and Esme in the kitchen, looking out the large bay window with their arms around each other's waists. They were the picture of contentment.

Esme heard me enter before Bella did and she sent her thoughts my way.

_Edward, you have a lot of making up to do to this girl. I am pretty sure you heard what was said but I don't think you really know how much you hurt her. Make her see you won't leave her again. She loves you and you love her. Make sure she knows that._

Bella heard me approach and turned in Esme's arm to look up at me. The smile she gave me was breathtaking. Yes, I would make sure she knew everyday that I loved her and would never leave her again.

She held out her free hand to me and I took it, moving to stand on her other side. I wrapped my hand around her back, resting my hand on Esme's and we all stood there quietly for a moment. Esme's mind was so full of joy I could not decipher it; it was just a constant flow of happiness.

I looked down at Bella and she was looking up at me. Even though I needed to I did not want to leave her, even for only a few hours. We had not been apart since the courtyard and I was loath to leave her now, even for the most necessary of reasons.

"Jasper and Emmett want me to go hunting with them. Do you mind?"

She looked at me quizzically then smiled. "Of course not, don't be silly. I'm not the only one around here who needs to eat." She laughed. "You need to take care of yourself. Go. It has been too long since you have spent time with them. I'll be here when you get back." She smiled at me tenderly.

She was right. I did need to spend time with my brothers. I had missed them, a lot.

I kissed her on her forehead and nodded.

I bent to whisper in her ear, even though I knew Esme would hear. "Look after my heart; I'm leaving it here with you." I gave her waist a quick squeeze and left the room.

I found Jasper and Emmett in the living room. They were discussing the best place to go hunt.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

They both nodded and we went out the back door into the woods. We were traveling to a heavily wooded area many miles from the cabin that had a large variety of wildlife. Emmett was excited about finding some bears. With his immense strength they were the only things that seemed to give him any challenge, though it never was much of a contest anyway. He ran a little ahead of Jasper and me.

I heard Jasper replay his conversation with Bella in his head. To say that she had surprised him was an understatement.

"She surprised me too, Jasper. Of course I _shouldn't_ have been surprised. She's that type of person. Forgiving."

_I didn't expect it. I thought she would hold on to some resentment or bitterness towards me, especially after everything that happened, but she didn't. All I felt from her was forgiveness and affection. Affection! After all the pain what I did caused she felt affection for me! I can't wrap my mind around it._ He was mystified.

Jasper had lived in such a turbulent climate before he joined our family that I could see how Bella's reaction would confuse him. In his previous life, an affront was dealt with harshly. Retribution was a daily staple; tolerance was unknown. Of course he had not expected violence from Bella but her unadulterated forgiveness had left him reeling.

"She cares about you, Jasper. You are like a brother to her. She does not hold our natures against us. She knows that the way you acted was instinct, not intent. You made her happy today, when you sat next to her. She wants to be closer to you."

_I want that too. She is my sister now, since she is with you. And being around her is easier no; I am not sure why. It's like all the pain caused by my actions cured me of the thirst for her blood or something. I can't describe it right but I don't burn as much when I am around her as I used to. _ He caught the scent of a group of elk to the south and drifted off towards them, melting into the trees like a ghost.

I followed behind him, just as silent. I contemplated his words as I moved through the forest. It was the same for me. Bella's blood still smelled the same, like lavender and freesias. It was still a potent force to me, more than any other human's. But it did not scorch my throat like it had before. I still burned but the flames were not as hot. Jasper's theory made sense to me. Perhaps losing Bella had cured me from the inferno her scent usually caused in my throat. Just like loving her had cured me from the monster that wanted her death when we first met. It was something to think about.

I caught the scent of the elk in the air and turned my focus to the hunt.

After Jasper and I had both drank our fill we set off in search of Emmett. We found him just finishing off a large grizzly. He dropped the bear and waved at us.

"You guys finished?" Jasper and I both nodded.

"Okay me too."

He walked towards us and I could tell he was purposely keeping his mind blank. He was up to something and he was trying to keep it from me. I tensed, preparing my self.

_Up to something isn't he?_

I nodded infinitesimally.

_How about us first this time? One…two…three!_

Emmett never saw it coming. He was concentrating so hard on not giving himself away that he didn't see Jasper and me spring until it was too late. I dove for his legs and Jasper leapt at his chest. We slammed into him and it sounded like an artillery shell went off. Alone neither Jasper nor I were any match against Emmett's massive strength, but together we managed to get him to the ground. Then we were wrestling around, knocking down a mature spruce, and slamming it into another tree that also fell. We grappled for a few minutes before we all collapsed, laughing.

Emmett reached over and tousled my hair, still laughing. "Missed you, bro."

"Only because I'm the only one besides Jasper who will wrestle with you." I said, grinning. I had missed Emmett too.

"Yeah, but you still cheat." He said, grinning back.

"I don't cheat. Even if I couldn't read minds Emmett, you are so obvious I would have been able to see what you were about to do."

"I saw it too Emmett, you are just too easy to read." Jasper put in, laughing at the consternation on Emmett's face.

"Come on, let's get back." I said. I was anxious to see Bella again, even though it had only been a few hours.

_You still got it bad, bro_, Emmett thought.

_Can't stand to be away from her for even a few hours can you? _Jasper was laughing to himself.

I glowered at them both and they both burst out laughing.

"Come on, Jasper." Emmett said. "He just doesn't look right unless Bella is attached to his hip." Even I had to laugh at that and we took off towards the cabin.

Dusk was falling when we got back. We walked inside and Kate was the first one to see us.

"What in the world happened to you three? You look like you all fought with a tree and the tree won."

I saw in her mind how we all looked. My shirt had several dirt stains and there were a few leaves stuck in my hair. The knee of my jeans was ripped and there were grass stains all over them. Jasper and Emmett didn't look much better. Emmett actually looked a little worse. The bear had torn a gash in his shirt and he had a twig stuck in his hair.

Carlisle came in when he heard Kate speak and he just looked at us and laughed, shaking his head.

_Good to see that some things never change. Wonder what the forest looks like after their wrestling match?_ He knew us too well.

Rosalie, Alice and Bella came down the stairs then. They stopped when they saw us standing there, disheveled.

"Emmett is that the shirt I gave you?" Rosalie glared. _Geez! He is such a kid sometimes! Can't stay clean for ten minutes!_ She was a little amused by the stick in his hair though.

"Um, I'm not sure, maybe." Emmett stammered. Rosalie turned and walked back up the stairs.

"Aww, Rose! We were just having fun!" Emmett called, following up after her. Jasper and I looked at each other and laughed until we had to hold each other up.

"You look terrible, Jazz! It's not going to be easy to get that shirt clean. Come on, let's get you changed." Alice sounded exasperated but her thoughts were excited. _Hmm, maybe I can go buy him a new one. I have to take him with me though this time…_

Jasper felt her excitement and groaned. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He trudged behind Alice up the stairs.

Bella walked up to me and grinned. I grinned back.

"You look great to me." Then she reached up and kissed me quickly on the lips. "It makes me happy to see you play with your brothers again. I brought your bag up to the room. Come on." She held out her hand.

I took it and we walked up the stairs. We walked down the hall and she opened one of the doors. It was the room I usually used when I stayed here but I was surprised to see Bella's bag next to the closet. She noticed me looking at it and blushed pink.

"Esme put us in here together. She said that there wasn't another empty room and that we should share." She was looking at her feet when she spoke.

I sent a silent thank you to Esme. I knew that even with all of us here there were at least two other rooms that were empty. Esme knew that I would not want to be parted from Bella, or have to face the embarrassing situation of being caught sneaking into her room.

I took her chin in my fingers and kissed her. "I don't mind and neither should you. It is exactly the arrangement that I would have asked for if I had thought about it. You know how much I like listening to you talk in your sleep. I've missed that." I winked at her and she rolled her eyes. "Besides, would you rather get caught sneaking into my room to sleep next to me?" She blushed bright pink.

"Me neither, so this is the best way. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. In here we are the only two people in the world, okay?" I liked the way that sounded. A private sanctuary for Bella and me. I could tell by her expression that she liked it too.

I took a quick shower to wash away the evidence of our wrestling match then changed into fresh jeans and a t-shirt. Bella was waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. I saw her look me up and down and I raised my eyebrow at her and grinned. As I expected she turned a beguiling shade of pink and then giggled. She held out her hand to me and I took it, intertwining our fingers.

"Come on," she said. "I think everyone else went downstairs."

I tugged her to a stop before she could take more than a step. She looked up at me questioningly.

"One thing, before we go downstairs." I said, pulling her closer to me.

Her eyes widened for a moment then softened as she looked at my mouth. A small smile played around her lips. Unconsciously she licked her bottom lip and that was all the invitation I needed.

I bent my head to hers and captured her lips. She was so warm. The taste of her lips was indescribable. Her arms went around my waist and I felt her fingers grasp the fabric of my t-shirt. My fingers slipped into her hair and cradled her head. I gently tilted her head back, kissing her more deeply. Her breath became more ragged and her fingers were kneading my shirt like a kitten. I let my tongue slid across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, fanning me with her warm sweet breath. One of my hands slipped free of her hair and wrapped around her waist, pressing her closer to me. She moaned softly in her throat. The sound was so arousing it was almost my undoing. Then I felt her shiver in my arms. Though I knew it was from passion not temperature, it was the reminder I needed.

I released her, but slowly. Partly because I didn't want her to feel rejected by breaking contact too quickly but mostly because I never wanted to let her go. I slowed my kisses until they were soft caresses on her lips. When I pulled away I looked at her face. Her eyes were closed and her creamy skin was flushed. She opened her eyes and the chocolate brown of her eyes had darkened to mocha with passion.

Gorgeous. I had to stop myself from pulling her into my arms again.

I rested my forehead against hers and tried to get my breathing under control.

"Hmm," I said when I felt steadier, "remind me to thank Esme for putting us in here together."

She blushed, of course. "Me too." Then she reached up and kissed me softly on the mouth before pulling away slightly, her face just inches from mine.

"Though, that would have been worth getting caught sneaking into your room for." She grinned and then pulled me out of the room.


	25. Chapter 25

Bella

We walked down the stairs into the living room. Almost everyone was already there; the only ones missing were Rosalie, Tanya and Esme. Everyone else was separated into their own groups. Alice, Jasper and Emmett were in one; Kate, Irina and Carlisle were in another. Carmen and Eleazar simply sat together. Edward and I sat together on one of the couches, opposite of Alice and Jasper. Alice leaned around Jasper to speak to me.

"Bella, we are going to have to come up with some convincing stories for you to tell Charlie when you get back."

"I know Alice. And we will have to make sure that we include Jasper in them too. Charlie thinks we were all together. And I assume that you have documents made up to prove that I was there? He'll want to see those too you know."

Alice grinned. "Of course. I already have them. You were distributing supplies to areas that were very much in need of them. I would have had us administering vaccinations but I know how much you hate needles. And blood." She laughed.

Kate and Irina stopped talking and looked over at me curiously.

"You hate blood, Bella?" Kate asked, amazement in her voice. I flushed to the roots of my hair but Emmett jumped in before I could speak.

"Oh yes, our Bella here gets nauseous just at the sight of it. Faints dead away." He pantomimed a swoon then busted out laughing.

"Thanks Emmett." I said disgustedly. Kate and Irina were laughing too.

"It's just ironic." Irina said. "Your boyfriend drinks blood and the sight of it makes you faint." She laughed a little.

"Actually it is the smell, not the sight." Why didn't I keep my mouth shut?

Even Carlisle looked at me curiously then.

"Most humans can't smell blood Bella. It is unusual that you can. You might have better than average olfactory development."

"I don't know about that Carlisle. I mean I know I don't have vampire senses but I don't think I smell better than anyone else."

"You do to me," Edward quipped. Everyone laughed and turned back to their conversations. Kate and Irina kept stealing glances at me and I felt the need to get out of the room for a while.

I leaned over and spoke to Edward quietly.

"I think I would like to go for a walk for a while." He nodded and started to get up.

"No, you sit here and visit with your family. I'm not going to go far."

He looked at me uneasily. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes, I just need some fresh air. It's good for my olfactory development." I laughed a little.

He still looked at me apprehensively but nodded. I excused myself and walked outside and down the steps.

I walked out into the yard and towards the trees lining the yard on the right. I did not have a particular destination; I just kept to the tree line.

I did want some fresh air like I told Edward but I also wanted a little time to think. In a few weeks I would be seeing Charlie again and I needed to get my thoughts straight in my mind. Being around Edward made it hard to concentrate on anything but him and I wanted to make sure that I had my story right.

Charlie would want to know exactly what I had been doing. I would have to do some research on Brazil to make sure that I got names and places right. I would also have to see whatever papers Alice had forged so that I could have those correct too.

The biggest part of my thoughts were about Charlie and Edward. I knew for a fact that Charlie would not welcome him back with open arms. Charlie had seen me as a zombie everyday for months and would most definitely blame Edward. I would not allow Charlie bar Edward from my life. It was something I was sure he would do. Well, I was a legal adult now and if I had to I would move out. Or at least tell him I would. I didn't want to hurt Charlie but there was no way in hell I was going to give up Edward either.

While I had been thinking I had not noticed how far from the house I had come. I looked and realized that the house was almost out of sight. I turned back before Edward could come outside and see how far I had come. He would have a fit to see me so far from the house.

I had just started on my way back when I saw a movement in the tree to my right. I looked and suddenly Tanya was standing there. I gasped and pressed my hand over my heart. It was beating madly.

"Didn't mean to scare you Bella," She said, though her tone of voice said otherwise.

Her strawberry blonde hair looked almost pink in the light from the setting sun and her skin through off faint sparkles. There must not be any close neighbors nearby, I thought.

"It's okay," I said. I turned to continue my trek back to the house. Tanya put her hand on my arm and stopped me.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you. I'm glad to get a chance to do it alone." I could hear a faint trace of menace in her tone. It made me uneasy.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I was careful to keep my tone casual. I was sure this was not going to be pleasant.

"Edward."

"What about him?" I was suspicious now.

"I want you to back off." There was real menace in her voice now.

I was stunned. "Back off?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, back off, leave him alone. He's mine!" She said vehemently.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" I was furious. Who did she think she was?

"There is no way in hell I am going to back off. Do you think I went all the way to South America to find him just to deliver him to you? You have seriously lost your mind."

"He will be mine. Do you honestly think you can hold on to him? A simple human? Your kind are so naïve and unsophisticated. You might have his attention now but I could give him so much more. And he knows it. I've seen the way he looks at me."

I was seriously beyond pissed off now. This woman was completely deranged. I had seen the way Edward had looked at her too-with complete indifference. He never looked at her the way he did me-with love glowing in his eyes. I knew that Edward loved me, even when he was breaking my heart he loved me. There was no way I was going to let the petty jealousy of this woman get to me. And I was not going to let this woman think she could walk over me.

"If that is what you think then I feel sorry for you. Edward loves me. _Me_! And if you think that your pathetic attempts to come between us will work then you really are a sad, sad creature." I turned to walk back to the house but Tanya grabbed my arm with bruising strength this time.

"You stupid insignificant human! Don't you know that I could crush you right now?" She squeezed my arm a little tighter. I did not give her the satisfaction of crying out but I could not prevent the gasp of pain that crossed my lips.

"You see? I could-." She did not get to finish her sentence before being ripped away from me.

A pair of arms came around her and she was thrown to the ground forcibly. I looked up in shock to see Rosalie standing there.

"Damn you, Tanya! Leave my sister alone!" Rosalie spat.

I was stunned that she had defended me but grateful for her presence. Tanya would probably not have killed me but she had definitely hurt me. My arm started to throb where she had grabbed me.

Tanya got up swiftly, looking back and forth between me and Rosalie before hissing and running back into the trees. I turned back to Rosalie.

"Thank you, Rosalie. I really appreciate you doing that. I thought she was going to break my arm."

"I think she probably would have. The nerve of that woman. She must be completely deranged to think she stood a chance with Edward. Even before you came along he had turned her down. And everyone can see the way he looks at you. What in the world made her think that she had a snowball's chance in hell now?" She shook her head.

"Um, Rosalie?" I asked nervously.

"Yes?"

"Thanks for calling me your sister. I know I am not your favorite person but I appreciate it nonetheless." I was blushing.

"Well, you are my sister now. And I do want you to know that I don't hate you." She looked a little uncomfortable.

"Really?" I couldn't believe that.

"Really. I hate to say it but I was jealous of you too." She was chagrined.

"Jealous of me?" I squeaked.

"Yes, because Edward found you more beautiful than he did me." She seemed embarrassed.

I was shocked. How could Rosalie, beautiful perfect gorgeous Rosalie be jealous of me?

"But we all know you are the most beautiful woman in the entire world." It was true.

She laughed. "Thanks. I guess I am just vain but I have always been admired. And I liked it. But Edward never admired me like I thought he should. Not that I wanted him as anything other than a brother, but I was used to people doing it. And he never did. So I figured if I didn't affect him no one would. Then you came along and got all the admiring glances I wanted. So I was angry. But now that I see how happy you make him it doesn't bother me anymore. I am sorry if I have been a bitch to you. I will try to do better."

I couldn't speak for a moment. I was stunned.

"It's good to know now that you had a reason to be that way. I mean, I thought that you just didn't like me at all. But I can sort of understand how you feel. Well, maybe not. I am not beautiful like you. But I am glad you don't hate me. I would much rather have you as my sister than my enemy." I looked off into the woods where Tanya had run off.

Rosalie saw where I was looking.

"Don't let that bitchy little vampire bother you. This is yours and Edward's time. Just focus on that and forget the rest." She shrugged.

"Thanks Rosalie. I think I should get back to the house before Edward sends out a search party." I laughed but he _would_ probably come looking for me soon. We turned and started walking back towards the house.

"Yes, poor Edward. He loves you very much you know. He hurt you and that was terrible but he did it because loves you. When one of us falls in love it is so all-consuming; it just takes over everything about us. And it never goes away, ever. Real change is so unusual in our kind that when it does happen, it is permanent. He will never, ever stop loving you. I hope you understand that."

I felt tears in my eyes and blinked them away. It was the same way I felt about Edward. I would never ever stop loving him, until the day I died. Probably even after that too.

Rosalie put her arm around my shoulder as we walked. I was grateful to her for her intervention and for everything she told me. I knew that we were not exactly friends yet but we might be one day.

As we approached the house, Edward came down the stairs. He looked curiously at the two of us as he walked up to us.

"Everything okay?" he asked warily.

Rosalie answered before I could speak.

"Sure, I saw Bella walking and joined her. I knew you would want her to be safe. So we have just been having a sisterly walk and talk." She smiled.

Edward looked at her strangely but didn't say anything.

We all walked up the stairs and into the house.


	26. Chapter 26

Edward

We made our way downstairs to find that almost everyone was there. I did not see Tanya, Rose or Esme; I could not hear their thoughts so they were not in the house either. We sat at the end of one of the couches. Alice and Jasper were at the other end, talking to Emmett who sat in an armchair next to them. They were discussing the trip back to Forks. Kate, Irina and Carlisle were talking about local wildlife. There were so many of us here at one time that we would have to go farther out on our hunting trips so that we did not impact the local wildlife in a negative way. Carmen and Eleazar were listening but not speaking.

Alice bent forward, looking around me to talk to Bella.

"Bella, we are going to have to come up with some convincing stories for you to tell Charlie when you get back."

"I know Alice. And we will have to make sure that we include Jasper in them too. Charlie thinks we were all together. And I assume that you have documents made up to prove that I was there? He'll want to see those too you know." She said meaningfully.

_She is getting good that this_, Alice thought. She grinned at Bella.

"Of course. I already have them. You were distributing supplies to areas that were very much in need of them. I would have had us administering vaccinations but I know how much you hate needles. And blood." She laughed. _Can it get anymore ironic?_

Kate and Irina were looking at Bella with curiosity and amazement.

"You hate blood, Bella?" Kate asked. Bella blushed; she hated that blood made her nauseous and hated attention more.

"Oh yes, our Bella here gets nauseous just at the sight of it. Faints dead away." Emmett pressed the back of his hand against his forehead and pretended to faint. He burst out laughing. Kate and Irina both laughed.

"Thanks Emmett." Bella said, disgust in her voice.

"It's just ironic." Irina said. "Your boyfriend drinks blood and the sight of it makes you faint." _Such a paradox those two._ She thought.

"Actually it is the smell, not the sight." Bella said, and then looked like she wished she hadn't spoken.

"Most humans can't smell blood Bella. It is unusual that you can. You might have better than average olfactory development." Carlisle was in doctor mode.

"I don't know about that Carlisle. I mean I know I don't have vampire senses but I don't think I smell better than anyone else." Bella looked uncomfortable so I decided to lighten the moment.

"You do to me," I said, smirking at Bella. She smiled at me and everyone laughed and went back to their conversations.

Kate and Irina looked over at Bella with curiosity. They were both secretly amused at how a simple human girl could affect me so much. I was too for that matter. But they didn't know my Bella. She had always held my attention, from that very first moment in the cafeteria.

Bella leaned over to me and spoke in a soft voice.

"I think I would like to go for a walk for a while."

I nodded and would have gotten up but she stopped me.

"No, you sit here and visit with your family. I'm not going to go far."

I didn't like the thought of Bella wandering around outside alone.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I just need some fresh air. It's good for my olfactory development." She laughed softly. Perhaps she really did need some air and if I knew Bella, some time to think by herself. I was not going to crowd her if she needed her space. I was not going to be _that _guy. I simply nodded and she excused herself and walked outside. I heard her walk down the steps and into the yard.

I sat there for a moment, lost in my own thoughts, when Carlisle pulled me to the present.

_Edward, I would like to speak to you outside please._

I nodded and got up. Carlisle excused himself from Kate and Irina and we walked out the back door. We went about fifty yards into the trees then stopped.

"What is it Carlisle?" I asked.

_There are a few things that I would like to talk to you about before we return to Forks._

"Alright, what?" I was a little wary now.

_First, how are you going to deal with the Charlie situation? If what I suspect is true, Bella was not in the best shape after you left._ I flinched at that. I was beginning to understand how much I had hurt her. I knew Charlie would not easily forgive me for what I had done to Bella.

"I'm not really certain at this point. I will have to explain to him why I left. Well, not the real reason I left but something close to it. Charlie is a cop and I am sure that even with my skills at lying he will see something amiss. I haven't got the story quite settled in my head yet. But I do know that he will have to accept the fact that Bella and I are together again."

_Just be careful son. He is a father and they are very, very protective. Especially of their only children. Even more so when that only child is a girl._

"I know Carlisle. And I will have to make sure that I do not cause any problems for Bella as well. It is a sticky situation but I will speak to Bella about it and we will try to figure out the best approach. She knows him better than I do." Carlisle knew about my inability to read Charlie's thoughts. I was only able to get impressions. I would have to play it by ear.

Carlisle nodded. _That sounds like a good plan. _He hesitated before he continued.

_There is something else, Edward. I know that we have had this discussion before but I think that now it is even more pertinent._

I saw what was on his mind. This was not a discussion I wanted to have.

"I know what you are going to say, Carlisle, and the answer is still no. I do not want Bella to become one of us, Alice's vision be damned."

_Do you believe that Bella has changed her mind?_

"We have not discussed it." I had not even thought about it again. I had not wanted to disrupt our reunion.

_It is something you need to discuss with her Edward. Now more than ever._

"What do you mean?" I could not see where he was going with this conversation.

_Edward, we all saw the misery that you went through when you were parted from her this time and it was_ your_ decision. What would you do if something happened to her? If she…died? _

I gasped at the sudden pain that thought caused in my chest. What would I do if Bella were gone forever? These last months I _had _lost her but only in the figurative sense. She was still alive and I could have seen her whenever I had chosen to. Bella's description of her accident, the one that had brought her back to me, flashed through my mind. What if it had killed her? What if I never ever had the chance to see her again? The anguish that caused me had me gripping my chest and bowing my head.

I felt Carlisle's hand grip my shoulder.

_That's exactly what I am talking about, Edward. She is human and with that comes mortality. She may not die for sixty or seventy years but eventually she will. You have to think about that. If this is something that Bella truly wants you should consider it._

I drew in a shocked breath andrecoiled from Carlisle's touch.

"How can you think that? Do you really think that she should be condemned to this life like the rest of us? You know how all of us struggle with what we are! You think Bella should have that same kind of torment? She doesn't even know what she would be getting into! She doesn't understand what it is like, this life of ours."

_Have you tried explaining it to her?_ I shook my head. _Then perhaps you should. It might change her mind. I have never met anyone who wanted to enter into this life willingly. She may not be as tormented as you think if it is what she wants in the first place. I do know that you cannot bear to be parted from her, even in death. I know you Edward, I know you cannot and will not survive without her. _

He was right. There was no way I would be able to go on if Bella were dead.

"I will think about what you have said Carlisle. But I would rather nothing be said to her about this. She _may_ have changed her mind and I don't want to give her ideas."

_Fair enough._

I could tell that there was something else on his mind. I heard what he was thinking and gasped.

"I am not ready for _that _discussion, Carlisle." I said angrily.

_Edward, you are going to have to face it someday. Bella is a healthy young woman and she _does_ have physical needs. Just like you do._

I groaned. I knew I had physical needs. It was all I could do not to keep my hands off of Bella every minute of the day. More so when I kissed her. But I did not want to hurt her either.

"Carlisle, it is not safe for her. What if I were to lose control. I could never forgive myself for hurting her."

_Then perhaps you need to work on it. Practice with her to build up your…tolerance._

I looked at him, shocked.

"Build up my tolerance? How?"

_Start slowly and work your way through. There are many ways to give and receive pleasure that do not involve actual intercourse. _

I could not believe I was having this discussion.

_Perhaps just start with touching her in a more intimate way. You can always stop when you feel your control slipping. I think you will be surprised at how much control you do have. Don't be afraid to go slow. This is all new to you and I know that it will take time before you are ready to "go all the way" as it were._

"Thanks Carlisle. I really do appreciate your advice. Um, can we go back inside now?" I asked pleadingly.

Carlisle laughed. _Sure._

I breathed a silent sigh of relief.

We walked back inside and I noticed that Bella was not back yet. I was becoming a little worried by her continued absence. I decided to go out onto the porch to see if I could see her. When I did I saw her walking with Rose and Rose had her arm around Bella's shoulder. I was shocked. Rosalie had hardly ever even spoke to Bella, much less show her physical affection. I wondered what had happened to change things.

"Everything okay?" I asked warily. Rosalie answered.

"Sure, I saw Bella walking and joined her. I knew you would want her to be safe. So we have just been having a sisterly walk and talk." She smiled. _Just getting to know my new sister, Edward. Don't freak out._

This didn't sound like the Rose I knew at all. I would have to ask her in private just what had occurred on this walk of Bella's.

We all turned and walked into the house.


	27. Chapter 27

Bella

We walked inside and sat down on the couch. Edward leaned over towards me.

"Did you have a good walk?" His expression was inscrutable.

"Yes, thanks. I just had some stuff to think about, ya' know?" I tried to sound casual and hoped that he would not ask me what. I had not gotten things sorted out yet and my confrontation with Tanya was still uppermost in my mind.

Edward had opened his mouth to speak when Esme came in the front door. She was carrying two large bags with Italian writing on them. She saw me sitting on the couch and walked over to me.

"Bella, I got you something to eat for dinner. I hope you like Italian."

"Sure, thanks Esme. That was really thoughtful." It was. I had resigned myself to eating a sandwich or something. But the smells coming from those bags were delicious.

"Let's take it into the kitchen." She said.

I got up and followed her. I motioned for Edward to stay where he was. It always made me self conscious to eat in front of him while he stared at me, seeming mesmerized by the whole process. Besides he should be with his family. We would have plenty of time together. That thought had me smiling as I went into the kitchen.

Esme pulled a plate out of one of the cabinets and started taking containers out of the bags. Container after container after container.

"Esme," I laughed. "There is no way in the world that I will ever be able to eat all that. That is more food that I eat in a week I think."

Esme laughed too.

"I didn't know what you would like so I got all kinds of different things. And it has been a long time since I have been around someone who eats real food so I wasn't sure how much to get." She smiled self-consciously.

"It's ok. I will try a little of everything. It all smells so delicious. And I can always eat the rest for leftovers later." I grinned at her and she looked more at ease.

Esme dished me out a little of each entrée. It looked like lasagna, veal piccata, eggplant parmesan and manicotti. There was also garlic bread and salad. It was fabulous. I washed it down with some ice cold milk and sat back in my chair.

"Thanks Esme. I guess it is a good thing you got so much after all. I didn't realize I was so hungry."

I expected her to laugh but she was looking at me strangely. Before I could ask she walked over and took my right arm in her hand.

"Bella, what in the world happened to your arm?" She exclaimed in alarm. I looked down and saw the damage that Tanya had done. There was a large bruise that encircled my forearm. I could clearly see the imprints from each of her fingers. It was steadily turning black and blue. Before I could even speak though, Edward came storming into the kitchen. His face was anxious as he crossed over to me.

He looked down at the arm that Esme still grasped and sucked in a harsh breath.

"Bella! What happened? Who did this?" His voice was agitated.

I opened my mouth to speak but he reached down and placed his fingers over the bruise. They did not match his long graceful ones and I could see him relax for a second before stiffening again.

"Did Rose do this to you?" He sounded furious.

"Of course not!" I said reprovingly. "You know Rose would never do that!" I knew that she wouldn't either. Even when I thought she hated me I didn't believe she would ever have hurt me.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Then who?" He demanded. His eyes burned down into mine and I knew he would not let me go until I told him. I sighed resignedly.

"Tanya."

Edward growled menacingly. It sent a shiver down my spine. Then he turned and left the room.

"Emmett! Stop him!" I yelled, though I know he would have heard me if I whispered.

I ran out into the living room to see Emmett with his arms around Edward's chest and Edward growling and struggling against his hold.

Carlisle, Jasper and Alice were staring in disbelief and the rest of the Denalis watched in wide eyed wonder.

I knew that Emmett was stronger than the rest of the others and I didn't want Edward to be hurt. I walked up to him and spoke calmly.

"Edward, you have to calm down." I said. He was still infuriated. I reached up and put my hand on his chest, above where Emmett still had him held.

"Edward! Stop it! Now!" I said, exasperated. He was only going to injure himself.

He stopped struggling against Emmett's hold but I could still hear low growls coming from him. I reached up and put both of my hands on the sides of his face and forced him to look at me.

"You have to calm down Edward. It's over. It's done. I'm fine. So calm down."

He looked at me disbelievingly but the growls stopped and I could feel him relax under my hands.

"Emmett, you can let him go." Emmett looked at me skeptically then shot a glance at Jasper, who nodded. Jasper must have felt him calm down as well. Or made him calm down. Either way as long as he wasn't about to go tearing off after Tanya.

Emmett released him and Edward came to stand by my side.

Alice spoke first.

"Now will someone please tell us what the hell just happened?"

I spoke first. "When I was out for a walk Tanya caught up with me. She grabbed my arm and left a bruise." I held out my arm to the group. I heard several gasps. Edward flinched.

"Why did she grab you?" Esme wanted to know.

Remembering Tanya's reasons had me seething again.

"She told me to back off, that Edward was hers." I said angrily. I felt everyone's eyes whip over to me in shock.

I did not see Kate approach until she was at my side.

"I cannot believe that my sister would do such a thing!" I simply shrugged at her. I was not going to try to defend myself to this woman. I would have turned away but she grabbed my left arm, hard. Too hard.

This was too much. I was tired of being manhandled. The pain in my arm caused my fragile temper to snap. I whirled on Kate.

"Damn it! Let go of me!" I yelled. She looked shocked and let go. "Why can't you people keep your damn hands to yourselves? I am so sick of being manhandled! You know, I might be some simple human but I am not a toy and I am not a pet. You got that?! I have thoughts and feelings just like everyone else. If your sister doesn't like that Edward and I are together that is just too damn bad! He loves me and I love him, bottom line, end of discussion. And you tell her for me that if she tries to come between us or if she _ever _touches me again, I will personally start the bonfire that burns her to ash! Got it?!"

I did not wait for a response. I whirled and left the house, slamming the front door behind me so hard it rattled the windows.

I did not know where I was going from there. I just needed to get out of the house. I stood on the top step looking out into the yard, trying to calm down my breathing. I could not believe that I had just done that. That I had actually threatened Tanya to Kate. That I had completely lost my temper in front of Edward's family, in front of the Denali clan. They must think I am a complete idiot now.

But I wasn't going to take it back. Tanya needed to get it through her thick head that Edward and I were together. There was no way in hell I was going to let her destroy the happiness that we had found together again. Damn it! Edward was _mine_! I had risked my heart and my sanity to go find him when I thought he didn't want me. And now that I knew he did, I was not going to let someone come between us, especially a beautiful strawberry blonde vampire.

I heard soft voices coming from inside then a large round of laughter. Great, they do think I am an idiot. I had to get away for a moment. I ran down the steps and into the yard. I did not go far, only about twenty feet to the nearest tree. I wrapped my arms around it and pressed my face against the bark, feeling the scratchy texture on my arms and cheek. It was comforting somehow. I felt the hot tears roll down my face. I was mortified. There was no way I was going to be able to face them now.

"Bella?" I heard Edward's soft voice call my name but I did not move.

"Bella, are you okay?" He put a hand on my shoulder. I could hear the anxiety in his voice but I could not make myself speak. I just shook my head no. I knew he would be able to see it, even now in the dark under the shade of the tree.

"Bella, look at me. Please?" He pleaded. I could not deny him when he used that tone of voice. I slowly removed my arms from around the tree and turned to face him. I kept my head down; I could not bear to look at his face just this minute.

"Bella, what's wrong? Please say something." He lifted my chin with his finger but I could not look into his eyes. He noticed the tears on my cheeks and brushed them away with his thumbs.

"My love, why are you crying?" I looked up into his eyes and he gasped at the anguish in mine. I could not help it anymore. I threw my arms around him and pressed my face into his chest.

"Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I did that! Yelling at Kate and threatening Tanya and storming out of the house. I am so embarrassed. Your family must think I am the biggest idiot on the whole planet and-." He cut me off before I could continue.

"Bella! Bella! You have it all wrong! They are so proud of you! Standing up for yourself like that-it makes them all very happy. Honestly they didn't know you had it in you. Emmett laughed so hard at the expression on Kate's face I think they still may be having trouble getting him off the floor."

I looked up at him disbelievingly. They didn't think I was the biggest fool in the world? They were…proud?

"Really? They don't think it was ridiculous for a mere human to threaten a vampire with bodily harm?" Saying it like that made me realize it really was kind of funny and I giggled. Then I really started to laugh until tears were streaming from my eyes. Edward was laughing too and he had to hold me up until I was finished.

"I'm sorry." I told him when I had calmed down. "I really am acting like an idiot now." I sniffed and smiled up at him.

"No, not an idiot." He said, smiling his crooked smile at me. "Just a very possessive girlfriend." He grinned when I stuck my tongue out at him. Then his eyes grew smoldering.

"I think I like the possessive Bella. You know," he said in a silky voice, "you were very sexy in there." His cool fingers traced the contours of my bottom lip and I shivered.

"R-Really?" I stuttered. My heart was beating madly. He bent his face closer to mine and ran the tip of his nose back and forth from my ear to my chin.

"Really." His cool breath caressed my throat. "You looked like the powerful, beautiful woman I always knew you were." His hands came up to my neck and he ran his thumbs up and down from my ears to my collarbone. One thumb stopped at my chin to lift my mouth to his and he pressed his lips to mine.

My lips moved against his and I could feel my breath becoming shorter. I wrapped my arms up around his neck and ran my fingers through his hair. I stretched up on tiptoe to press myself closer to him and Edward's arm came around my back. I could not get close enough to him. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I could not help the soft moan that escaped me. His kiss became more urgent then, pressing into mine deeper. I was shocked and delighted when his other arm reached down beneath my bottom and pulled me off the ground and into his body. I responded by wrapping my legs around his waist and he took a step forward, pressing me into the tree. Feeling our bodies locked together was the single most arousing thing I had ever experienced. The arm that was not holding me up came from behind my back and tunneled into my hair, pulling it back so he could press cold, open mouthed kisses to my neck.

"Edward," I breathed. I was almost dizzy from passion.

I felt him go still beneath me for a fraction of a second and then he continued to kiss me, though with less urgency now. I knew then that we had reached the limit of his self control again. He pulled his hand from my hair and disentangled my legs from his waist. He slowly lowered me to the ground, still kissing me softly. Finally he pulled away from my lips. My arms were still around his neck and his hands were resting on my hips. I looked up at his face and even in the dark I could see his eyes were closed and that his breathing was harsh. I pulled one hand out of his hair and softly caressed his cheek. He opened his eyes then and I could see that they were sparkling with passion.

I smiled up at him.

"Good thing for you that I have so much self-control, Edward Cullen." I grinned.

He looked shocked for a moment then burst out laughing.

"I thought I knew the meaning of self-control until I met you, Bella Swan. You could tempt the Devil himself and make him thank God for it." He kissed me softly once more then pulled me back towards the house.

_God I love this man!_ I thought.


	28. Chapter 28

Edward

I sat back down on the couch with Bella. I could see that she was deep in thought.

"Did you have a good walk?" I asked. I watched her reaction. She kept her face impassive but I could see a slight tightening around her eyes. So something had happened. I would definitely have to get the story from Rose now. Bella's voice was a little too casual when she answered.

"Yes, thanks. I just had some stuff to think about, ya' know?" I was about to ask her what she was thinking about when Esme entered the room.

She was carrying two large white bags from a local Italian restaurant. Ah, she must have gotten Bella dinner. I could smell the oregano, cheese and tomato sauce. Yuck. But I was glad that Bella would have some real food to eat.

"Bella, I got you something to eat for dinner. I hope you like Italian." Esme said, holding up the bags.

"Sure, thanks Esme. That was really thoughtful." Bella said. "Let's take it into the kitchen."

She got up and I would have followed her but she waved me back. I knew it made her a little uncomfortable when people watched her eat. It was just so fascinating to me, not to mention just a little erotic_. Stop it Edward_, I said to myself angrily. _You have a hard enough time keeping your hands to yourself as it is._

I looked over and Jasper was looking at me, his eyebrow raised.

_You are putting off quite a bit of lust there, brother. You alright?_

I glowered at him and he smirked at me.

_Just leash it a little, for me. You keep hitting me with that and I will have to drag Alice out of here._ I blocked the images that came flooding into my head of Jasper and Alice together and grimaced.

Jasper just laughed.

I was only halfway tuning into what was going on in the kitchen. I did want to give Bella as much privacy as I could. But some things could not be ignored. I did not have to be able to read minds to hear the alarm in Esme's voice

"Bella, what in the world happened to your arm?"

I was up and in the kitchen before anyone could blink.

I crossed quickly over to Bella and saw that Esme was holding Bella's right arm. I looked down and drew in a harsh gasp. There was a large black and blue bruise forming on Bella's narrow forearm. It looked like it went all the way around. And it was in the shape of a hand.

"Bella! What happened? Who did this?" I was mortified. Had I done this somehow? I could not remember if I had held her a little too tightly at some point. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it when I placed my fingers over the bruise. I could see that my fingers did not fit the marks and relaxed for a moment then realized that the bruises were the size of a woman's fingers. I stiffened.

"Did Rose do this to you?" If she had she would answer to me, Emmett or no Emmett.

"Of course not!" Bella said disapprovingly. "You know Rose would never do that!"

She was right of course. I felt disloyal for saying it.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Then who?" She seemed reluctant to tell me and I was not going to have that. I stared down at her until she gave a resigned sigh.

"Tanya."

I growled. What in the hell was Tanya thinking? How dare she put her hand on Bella? She was going to answer to me for this and she would be lucky if I didn't tear her limb from limb. I spun on my heel and stalked out of the room, finding Tanya my only thought.

I was startled when I heard Bella yell.

"Emmett! Stop him!" It took me a moment to process what she had said and it was long enough for Emmett to grab me from behind as I came into the living room.

Emmett never used his full strength on us. He was so much stronger than the rest of us there was no need. But he did now. He held me so firmly I could not break free. I struggled against his hold, growling and snarling, but I could not move.

Bella was in front of me, speaking, but I was so furious I could not decipher the words.

She reached up and placed her hand over my heart.

"Edward! Stop it! Now!" She sounded angry. Her voice started to penetrate the red haze I was looking through and I knew I had to stop struggling. I did not want to hurt Bella on accident. I could not stop the growls from emanating from my chest though.

Bella reached up and placed her hands on the side of my face. She forced me to look at her.

"You have to calm down Edward. It's over. It's done. I'm fine. So calm down." Somehow her touch on my skin was soothing. I could feel myself calming down, almost against my will. What power did she possess over me? I looked at her disbelievingly and relaxed my body. I was still upset but I did not feel the killing rage. Her simple touch had calmed me down enough to think more clearly. She released me and stepped back.

"Emmett, you can let him go." She said. Emmett looked over at Jasper who simply nodded.

Emmett released me and I went to stand by Bella.

It was Alice who broke the silence.

"Now will someone please tell us what the hell just happened?"

Bella answered.

"When I was out for a walk Tanya caught up with me. She grabbed my arm and left a bruise." She held up her arm and everyone saw the tell tale markings on her skin. Irina and Alice gasped. I flinched to see the damaged inflicted on her beautiful skin. I felt myself growing angry again and was hit by a wave of calm. I looked over at Jasper, who just shrugged.

_Don't need you going off again, bro._

"Why did she grab you?" Esme was asking now. _What on earth could have possessed her?_

Bella's face became angry.

"She told me to back off, that Edward was hers." I felt disbelief pouring from everyone in the room. Except Rose. She knew more than she was letting on. I would find out what. Before I could speak though, Kate was standing at Bella's side.

"I cannot believe that my sister would do such a thing!" She said.

Bella shrugged and started to turn away. Kate grabbed Bella's left arm. But before I could move to make her release her hold, Bella turned on her, enraged beyond anything I had ever seen.

"Damn it! Let go of me!" Shocked, Kate released her. "Why can't you people keep your damn hands to yourselves? I am so sick of being manhandled! You know, I might be some simple human but I am not a toy and I am not a pet. You got that?! I have thoughts and feelings just like everyone else. If your sister doesn't like that Edward and I are together that is just too damn bad! He loves me and I love him, bottom line, end of discussion. And you tell her for me that if she tries to come between us or if she _ever _touches me again, I will personally start the bonfire that burns her to ash! Got it?!"

Bella turned and stalked out of the house, slamming the door and rattling the windows.

We all stood, stunned, looking at the front door.

"Well, shit." Carlisle said.

Everyone turned to look at him disbelievingly. Carlisle very rarely ever cursed. In fact, in ninety years I could only remember him having used profanity three times. All of them at moments like this. Moments of complete and utter shock.

Carlisle just shrugged and scratched the back of his head. "Wow, she really was something wasn't she?"  
"Go Bella!" Emmett said and everyone laughed.

We all looked at Jasper.

"Don't look at me," He said, holding up his hands. "That was all Bella."

"I didn't know she had it in her." Alice said. She sounded proud.

"I did." Rose said. I turned to look at her.

"What happened when she was out for a walk, Rose? I know there was more to it than you let on."

Rose sighed. "Okay, I was coming back from taking a run in the woods and I saw Bella walking, looking like she was really deep in thought. She realized that she had gotten too far from the house and turned back and that is when Tanya caught up with her. I could hear what they were saying but I waited to see what Tanya would do. She has been so bitchy since she heard Bella was coming back and I knew she needed to get whatever she was feeling off her chest. Then I heard her tell Bella to back off, that Edward was hers."

I snorted. There was no way on this earth that I would ever be Tanya's plaything.

Rose continued her story.

"Well Bella got mad. She told Tanya that there was no way she was going to give you up after going all the way to South America to get you. She told Tanya she was insane to think it." Rose grinned and I could see she was proud of Bella for standing up for herself.

"So, Tanya told Bella that being a simple human she could never keep Edward and that Tanya would get him. Then Bella got really mad. Told Tanya she felt sorry for her. Said she knew Edward loved her and that Tanya was a pathetic creature to think otherwise."

I heard Emmett's low whistle behind me.

"That's when it got a little dicey. Tanya looked seriously mad then and grabbed Bella. So I ran up and got Tanya off of her before she could hurt her. Then Tanya ran into the woods."

"Thanks Rosalie, I owe you." I said. I did. Bella might have been seriously hurt.

"I'll remember that you said that. " Rosalie grinned. _I think I am starting to like Bella, Edward. That girl has some real spunk. AND she drives you crazy, in every way possible so that is a bonus. _ She chuckled evilly.

I rolled my eyes. But I was glad to see that Rose's and Bella's relationship had taken a better turn.

"Edward, I am sorry that my sister would do such a thing." Kate said contritely. "I will promise you now that I will have a very long hard talk with her about this. This is inexcusable behavior."

I was still seething about this but blaming Kate was not going to help.

"I would appreciate it, Kate. I doubt that I would be able to have a rational discussion with Tanya right now." I would probably tear her limb from limb.

"And I will say," Kate continued, "your Bella showed a lot of spunk. She is not the shy girl I thought she was. You know, I almost believed her about lighting the bonfire."

Emmett laughed until he could not stand up.

Esme came up to me then and spoke softly.

"Edward, it is dark outside and Bella should not be alone out there. She is probably upset by what happened. Go find her and bring her back inside."

I nodded and went outside to find my beautiful warrior.

I went out on the porch but Bella was not there. Evening had fallen and it was dark; the only light coming from the windows of the house. Of course I could see perfectly but it took me a moment to locate Bella. Then I saw her standing next to a tree about twenty feet from the house. I was relieved that she had not gone far.

I approached and saw that she was hugging the tree with her face pressed against it. What a strange position.

"Bella?" I called softly. I did not want to startle her. She did not move.

"Bella, are you okay?" I moved closer and put my hand on her shoulder. She still did not move except to shake her head no. I was starting to become alarmed. What was wrong with her?

"Bella, look at me. Please?" I pleaded. I was relieved to see her release her grip on the tree and turn to face me. She kept her eyes on the ground.

"Bella, what's wrong? Please say something." I wished I could hear her thoughts. I used my finger to raise her chin and saw tears on her cheeks. I brushed them away.

"My love, why are you crying?" She looked up at me then and I gasped. Her eyes were so full of misery it tore my heart out. Before I could speak she threw her arms around me and turned her face into my chest.

"Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I did that! Yelling at Kate and threatening Tanya and storming out of the house. I am so embarrassed. Your family must think I am the biggest idiot on the whole planet and-." I cut her off before she could finish.

"Bella! Bella! You have it all wrong! They are so proud of you! Standing up for yourself like that-it makes them all very happy. Honestly they didn't know you had it in you. Emmett laughed so hard at the expression on Kate's face I think they still may be having trouble getting him off the floor." I couldn't believe that this was the cause of her worry. Silly girl.

"Really? They don't think it was ridiculous for a mere human to threaten a vampire with bodily harm?" She seemed to find the humor in that statement. She giggled. Then she started laughing. I joined her and ended up having to hold on to her because she was laughing so hard she might fall over. Tears were streaming from her eyes and she wiped them away and calmed down.

"I'm sorry. I really am acting like an idiot now." She sniffed then smiled at me.

"No, not an idiot." I smiled at her. "Just a very possessive girlfriend." I liked that part of her. The part that was willing to fight for me. Even standing up to indestructible vampires to do it.

She stuck her tongue out at me and I grinned. Then I remembered how her kisses, and her tongue, tasted on my lips and felt the desire rise in me.

"I think I like the possessive Bella. You know, you were very sexy in there." I ran my finger along her bottom lip, reveling in its softness.

"R-Really?" She said breathlessly. Her heart started to race and her skin became flushed. I bent and brushed the tip of my nose along her chin to the sweet hollow beneath her ear. Then returned along the same path. She smelled so amazing.

"Really. You looked like the powerful, beautiful woman I always knew you were." She had been amazing. The passion in her voice, the flush to her skin, the way her eyes flashed. She was magnificent when she was angry.

I moved my hands to her neck and brushed my thumbs along its warmth from her ear to the lovely curve of her collarbone. I used my thumb to raise her lips to mine and kissed her.

She began to breathe more erratically and her arms came up around my neck, playing in my hair. Her touch felt electrifying. She stood up on her toes and held herself to me tightly. I wrapped my arm around her back and pulled her flush against me. I could not resist touching her warm soft lip with my tongue and she moaned deep in her throat. Like before just that sound nearly drove me over the edge.

I kissed her more urgently, more forcefully but she did not seem to mind. I needed more contact with her so I reached down and wrapped my arm underneath her backside and pulled her up off the ground. Our chests were flush against each other. She wrapped her legs around my waist and we were locked together. Her soft warm body pressed against mine was so erotic. I stepped forward and pressed her into the tree, loving the way her body moved against mine. I moved my arm from around her back and pushed my fingers into her thick soft hair. I pulled her head back so I could kiss the beautiful column of her throat.

"Edward," she breathed. The sound of my name brought me out of my passionate frenzy and back to my senses. I was quickly losing my grip on my self control. A few more minutes and I would not be able to stop myself from taking her against this tree. _Slow it down Edward._ I thought to myself.

I kept kissing her, though not with the same all-consuming urgency as before. I released her head and carefully pulled her legs from around me. I lowered her down my body, still kissing her. Finally I forced myself to pull away. I kept my eyes closed for a moment, knowing if I looked at her at this moment I might not be able to stop myself from pulling her back into my arms and picking up where we left off. Her arms were around my neck and I still had her hips in my grip. She withdrew one arm and touched my cheek with her soft warm hand. I opened my eyes and the look on her face was almost my undoing. Her lips were slightly swollen from my kiss, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glowed with banked passion. She smiled at me.

"Good thing for you that I have so much self-control, Edward Cullen." Then she grinned.

I was shocked for a moment. This woman was driving me to distraction, and I loved it. I burst out laughing.

"I thought I knew the meaning of self-control until I met you, Bella Swan. You could tempt the Devil himself and make him thank God for it." I kissed her then led her back to the house.

_God I love this woman!_ I thought.


	29. Chapter 29

Bella

We walked back up the steps and towards the house. Edward bent and kissed me swiftly before opening the door. Everyone turned and looked at us as we walked inside. Great. I felt like a monkey in a cage. I was still embarrassed about my outburst. Though I still didn't regret it.

Edward sat down in a large armchair. I didn't think twice before climbing up into his lap; we used to sit this way all the time. Then I realized that everyone was staring at me. Would I never stop making an ass of myself with these people? I felt face burn intensely. I started to get up but Edwards's strong hands stopped me. I looked up at him questioningly and he shook his head. He wanted me to stay. Well, if it didn't bother him then I guess it shouldn't bother me. I relaxed a little. I was content to sit in his arms.

"Hey Bella!" Alice said. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm really sorry that I lost my temper before." Sorry that I made a fool of myself.

"You should do it more often, little sister. Funniest thing I have seen in a while" Emmett said, grinning.

"Yes, I kind of liked seeing the Evil Bella come out." Alice said. She sounded a little impressed and I laughed along with everyone else.

Kate spoke up after the laughter had died away.

"I'm sorry Bella. I should not have grabbed you like that. I didn't hurt you did I?"

I held my arm out so that I could inspect the damage. There was a large bruise forming on this arm too. I felt Edward's gasp. I hoped he would not lose his temper. He was so overprotective.

"Well, at least I match now." I tried to sound nonchalant to keep Edward calm. I poked at the bruise, watching it turn lighter then back to deep purple.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry! I truly did not mean to hurt you!" Kate exclaimed. I saw Edward nod slightly and he seemed calm enough.

"Its okay, Kate. I am used to bruises by now." I laughed softly. I should be; I've had enough in my life.

I saw Kate look at me questioningly but before I could answer Emmett jumped in.

"Our Bella here is the world's biggest klutz, Kate. I don't think I have ever seen anyone fall down as much as her. It makes it worth having her around, just for comic relief." He laughed his big booming laugh. I could only sigh and shake my head. There was no way you could be mad at Emmett, you just couldn't. He was just…Emmett.

Everyone sat around talking. It was mostly trivial things, nothing really important. I didn't feel the need to input anything and let my mind wander. I could feel my eyelids start to droop. I closed them, just for a moment.

_I was sitting in my kitchen, eating dinner. Charlie was there with me. I finished and got up to wash my plate off in the sink. Charlie stood up and held his plate out to me. I turned and looked at him. "Do your own dishes." Then I turned and walked out of the kitchen. I thought I heard him laugh but it was too soft for me to be sure._

_I walked up the stairs and into my room. When I opened the door Edward was there, lying across my bed. I shut the door quickly behind me; I didn't want Charlie to come up and see him._

"_Hey beautiful," he said in his honey and silk voice._

_I walked up to the bed and climbed up onto it. I sat back on my legs next to him and ran my finger down his chest._

"_Hey there yourself," I said coyly._

_He grabbed my hand and pulled it up to his lips, kissing the inside of my wrist. I felt my stomach muscles clench when he ran his cool tongue across my skin before sucking gently._

"_The taste of your skin is amazing." He said, his eyes closed and a soft smile on his lips._

_I pulled his hand, the one that was still holding my wrist, up to my mouth and gave his wrist the same treatment, softly swirling my tongue instead of sucking._

_He inhaled sharply before reaching over and capturing both my wrists in his wintry hands. He sat up slowly, his eyes burning into mine and moved until we were seated opposite each other, his posture mirroring mine._

_I sat there, staring into the molten gold of his eyes. He bent his head towards me and claimed my lips. His kiss sent a jolt through me and I tilted my face upwards into his kiss. His lips were so gentle on mine and I wanted to touch him, but he still held my wrists. _

_He slowly turned our bodies and I found myself pressed into the bed, my arms above my head. He took both my wrists in one of his hands and used the other to pull my legs straight. He hovered over me, half on his side, half laying over me and pressed soft kisses into my neck. His breath was so cool against my skin. _

"_You smell amazing too." He said, sending a shiver down my spine._

_I felt his cold tongue dip into the hollow at the base of my neck before sending an icy trail up to my ear. I was shocked when I felt him nip gently at my ear with his lips. A sparkle of desire shot through me and I curled my toes in my shoes._

_He released my hands and I reached out to pull his head up to mine, pressing a hot kiss onto his cold lips. I felt his graceful fingers trace down both sides of my neck. He lingered for a moment, tracing my collarbone before slipping down my shoulders. His hands left a tingling trail as he traced my sides before stopping with his hands on my hips. I felt his smooth thumbs moving back and forth, slowly slipping underneath the hem of the button-up shirt I wore. _

_He turned his lips from my ear and left soft kisses along the edge of my jaw before kissing me again. I felt the hem of my shirt rise higher and he had his hands around the bare skin at my waist. It felt wonderful. _

"_I love touching your skin." He whispered. "You are so soft and warm."_

_Suddenly his nimble fingers were unbuttoning my shirt, slipping each button out of its hole slowly, deliberately, staring down into my eyes intensely. My breath was coming faster now, my desire swirling through me._

_He finished with the last button and slowly opened my shirt. The look on his face took my breath away completely. So much love and lust and hunger churning in the topaz depths of his eyes. He slipped the shirt from my shoulders and I rose up slightly so he could pull it down off my arms. He tossed it over his shoulder and off the bed before pressing me down into the bed again. He buried his face in the hollow of my neck and inhaled deeply before running his nose down between my breasts. His hands which were on my waist, moved slowly upwards until they were cupping my breasts. _

_I ran my hands down his back and up underneath his shirt. He leaned back off of me, sitting up right. He was straddling my hips and I watched his muscles flex as he reached down and pulled his shirt up over his head in one fluid movement. It was sent sailing to join mine on the floor. He was magnificent. His muscles looked like they were carved from the purest marble. It was like being made love to by Adonis himself. He lay back down against me and slowly slithered down my body, pressing kisses into my ribs, my stomach, my navel. He moved all the way down and off of me and I sat up on my elbows, wondering what he was doing._

_He stood at the foot of the bed with a soft smirk on his face before reaching for my foot and untying my shoe. He pulled it off and tossed it lightly into the corner with a soft thud. My sock joined it. Then he pulled off my other shoe and sock and they too were added to the pile._

_His eyes became hooded and lusty as he crawled up the bed and stopped, his knees straddling mine. He reached for the button on my pants and I held my breath. With agonizing slowness he undid the fastener on my jeans and slowly slid the zipper down, inch by inch. I thought I would implode from the heat burning in me. He slipped his elegant fingers into the waistband of my jeans and slowly slid them down my legs, his eyes never leaving mine. He pulled my feet out of the legs of my pants and tossed them onto the floor. He slid back up my body until our chests were touching, his cold skin the perfect antidote to the inferno he had created in me. _

_He bent down to kiss me, and then suddenly stiffened. I looked up at him quizzically but he shook his head and whispered "Charlie."_

_Then he was gone. All I heard was the soft click of the window as he closed it…_

I sat up in bed, disoriented. Where was I? Oh right, the Denali's. I looked around and the first thing I noticed was that Edward was gone. The second thing I noticed was I _really_ had to go to the bathroom. I got up and ran into the bathroom. When I was finished I came out and stood looking around the room. Where was Edward? He usually did not leave while I was sleeping, as far as I knew anyway. He was so fascinated with watching me sleep and listening to my sleep talking. I crossed my arms over my chest. Wait, who had changed my clothes? I was wearing a t-shirt that I recognized as one of Edward's. It smelled like him. But who had put me into it? Edward? That thought made me shiver. All I had on underneath was a bra and boy shorts. Had he seen me in my underwear? What had he thought? Did he find me…desirable?

I was contemplating these things when I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye.

I looked out the window and saw Edward and Tanya in the yard, facing each other. The window was open about halfway and I could barely make out what they were saying.

Edward had his arms crossed over his chest and the look on his face was furious.

"-sure your _human_ told you everything-."Tanya's voice was malicious.

-didn't say anything- noticed that you had hurt her-."Edwards's voice was a growl.

"-mean to hurt her or anything. -how fragile they are." Tanya was saying. I snorted to myself. Of course she had meant to hurt me.

-never-hands on her in the first place, Tanya. -you thinking?" His voice was angry but controlled.

"-wasn't listening to me Edward!" Her voice got louder and slightly whiny. "I told her that she should step aside and she was ignoring me! I was just trying to get her attention." She crossed her arms over her chest, obviously fuming.

"Of course she ignored you!" Edward's voice got louder. "What did you really think would happen? That she would just say 'oh, well ok Tanya. I'll just go home and you can have him'?" Sarcasm dripped from every word.

"She's no good for you Edward. You know we could be great together. At least you would not have to worry about breaking _me_!" She sounded so confident. I was furious at they way she threw Edward's words in the forest back into his face. He stood there looking at her for a long moment. I could tell he was fuming, but obviously Tanya could not.

She must have taken his silence as a sign of acquiescence because she stepped forward and put her arms around his neck. I put my hand to my mouth to stifle a gasp as he pushed her away hard. Edward was always so courteous, especially with woman, that it came as a shock to see him handle one with such force.

Tanya stumbled and looked up at Edward, shocked.

I watched Edward take a deep breath, then speak.

"Tanya, I have tried to be as gentlemanly as possible with this because I have not wanted to hurt your feelings. But in hurting Bella you have gone too far. So I will tell you in no uncertain terms that there will never, ever be anything between us. My heart, and the rest of me for that matter, have already been claimed. Do us both a favor and stop pursuing. Nothing will come of it and you will only be angering me and hurting yourself."

He turned to walk away but Tanya stopped him with her voice.

"Just one more thing, Edward."

"What now, Tanya?" He sounded weary.

"This."

She suddenly grabbed him and pulled him up against her, kissing him passionately. I did not have even a second to be shocked before Edward grabbed her and shoved her away. The look on his face was one of complete disgust. I watched as he took the back of his hand and wiped it across his mouth, looking as though he had eaten something unpleasant.

I could not help it; I giggled at his expression.

Edward must have heard me because I saw his head whip towards our window. I tried to back away as quickly as possible but I knew that he had seen me.

Damn! He knew I was spying on him. Well, I might have to use this to my advantage. Let him sweat a bit. I pressed my hand over my lips to stifle another giggle then I heard a knock at the door.

I stepped back over to the window and crossed my arms over my chest, pretending to stare out into the yard.

"Bella?" I heard him say cautiously. Oh this was going to be fun.

I turned slowly to face him but kept my head down, looking at the floor. I knew if I looked at his face I would burst into laughter.

"Bella, I-." I held my hand up to stop him from speaking. I walked over towards him, each step deliberate. I still kept my head down.

I stopped in front of him and couldn't help it anymore. I started to shake with silent laughter. I felt tears slip down my cheeks as I struggled to keep it contained.

"Please look at me." He sounded so scared. I looked up and almost burst into hysterics at the shocked look on his face.

Suddenly he picked me up and pulled me up against his chest. He swung me around in a circle, laughing.

"Don't ever do that to me again, woman. You almost gave me a heart attack!" he set me down and looked at me in wonder. I smiled up at him.

"A heart attack? Now that would really be something!" I couldn't help but giggle at that.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me. He spoke, using each word to kiss me.

"You *kiss* scared *kiss* me *kiss* to *kiss* death *kiss*!" He sounded so relieved I had to laugh again.

"I wish you could have seen your face when she kissed you, Edward. It was like someone made you eat human food or something. You looked so disgusted it was hilarious. I hope that witch finally understands once and for all that you are all mine." She better too; I don't see how either of us could make it any clearer.

"All yours, now and forever." He said softly, kissing me. I sighed. Then yawned.

He laughed at me. "Come on Sleeping Beauty. Time to go back to bed."

"I would still be sleeping if someone hadn't been trying to steal the love of my life out from under my nose." I grinned at him.

He took my hand and pulled me over to the bed. I got back underneath the blanket and he lay down next to me. I put my arm over him and could feel him tracing my spine up and down through the t-shirt I wore.

That reminded me.

"Edward?" I said.

"Yes, my Bella?" His voice was velvet soft.

"Who changed my clothes?" I knew it had to have been him but I wanted to be sure.

I felt him stiffen beneath me and I knew I was right.

"Um, well…you wouldn't have been comfortable in that dress but you couldn't just sleep in your…well…without any pajamas. But the ones in your bag were too…I mean…they didn't seem that comfortable either…so I figured the shirt would be better." He sounded so embarrassed I could not be angry. It was so endearing to hear him struggle for words.

"So you changed my clothes."

"Um, yes." He sounded nervous and I decided to let him off the hook.

I laughed. "Well your shirt is a whole lot more comfortable than any of those lace and silk things that Alice bought me." It definitely was softer. I inhaled deeply. "Smells better too. It smells like you. I like it." It did smell amazing. His scent surrounded me, enveloped me. I would have to find a way to bottle his scent so I could bathe in it everyday.

I lay there for a moment. But another question was burning in me

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"That means you saw me in my…underwear. Were you, you know, tempted at all?" I could not believe I was actually asking him this.

"Very much," he said in his honey/silk voice.

"Really?" I looked up to see the expression on his face. His eyes were burning with desire as he kissed me. Then he whispered softly in my ear.

"Very, very, very much," his cool breath brushed my neck and I shuddered.

"Oh." I was surprised by his honesty. Usually Edward would not admit that he wanted me so blatantly.

He laughed his musical laugh.

"Now sleep, my love. You have had one hell of a long day and you need your rest."

He was right. It had been a long day, full of ups and downs and I was exhausted. I tilted my head up and kissed his perfect jaw. Then I yawned and laid my head back down on his chest.

"Good night Edward."

"Good night Bella."


	30. Chapter 30

Edward

We walked back towards the house. I stole a quick kiss before we went inside. I opened the door and everyone turned expectantly.

We walked inside. I sat down in a large armchair and Bella climbed up into my lap seemingly without thought.

She blushed an interesting shade of magenta when she realized that everyone was looking at her. She made an attempt to move but I held her there. She looked at me and I shook my head slightly. She seemed to understand that I wanted her to stay where she was and she relaxed a little.

"Hey Bella!" Alice trilled. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm really sorry that I lost my temper before."

"You should do it more often, little sister." Emmett said with a huge grin on his face. "Funniest thing I have seen in a while" _She looked like a cranky kitten._ He thought. I had to smile at that. I had always thought her anger was a little endearing.

"Yes, I kind of liked seeing Evil Bella come out." Alice said. _Seriously, where has she been hiding and can she come out to play more often?_

Bella laughed with everyone else.

"I'm sorry Bella," Kate said. "I should not have grabbed you like that. I didn't hurt you did I?"

Bella held out her arm to look at it and I gasped to see another set of bruises on her arm. I glared at Kate.

"Well, at least I match now." Bella said poking at the new hand shaped bruise on her left arm. She seemed nonchalant.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry! I truly did not mean to hurt you!" Kate exclaimed. _I am very sorry Edward. I promise I will not touch her again. _I nodded.

"Its okay, Kate. I am used to bruises by now." Bella laughed a little. Kate looked at her quizzically.

Emmett intercepted the look and laughed.

"Our Bella here is the world's biggest klutz, Kate. I don't think I have ever seen anyone fall down as much as her. It makes it worth having her around, just for comic relief." He laughed loudly. Bella sighed and shook her head.

I glared at Emmett.

_You know its true Edward. That girl is a walking disaster._ He grinned at me. I smiled a little back. Life around Bella was always interesting to say the least.

We all sat around talking about inconsequential things. Bella had curled into my chest and I realized that she had not spoken in a while. When I looked down I saw that she was asleep. It _had _been quite a long emotional day for her. I was about to lift her up to take her upstairs when I noticed that everyone had stopped talking and were looking at her.

"What?" I said, too softly to wake Bella up. I knew they would all hear me.

Carlisle looked at everyone and then spoke first.

"It's just kind of fascinating watching her sleep. I think most of us have forgotten what it was like to actually do it."

I smiled. "I know what you mean. She thinks I am crazy of course. She doesn't see anything interesting in it at all and can't see how I can sit for hours and watch her."

"She looks so peaceful." Irina said, and Carmen and Eleazar both nodded in agreement.

At that moment, Bella frowned and said quite clearly, "Do your own dishes."

Everyone looked shocked. Then they all laughed quietly, including Emmett. I could tell he was fascinated by Bella's sleeping too.

"She talks in her sleep." I said, somewhat guiltily. I had not told them about this quirk.

"This explains how you can watch her for hours on end." Esme winked at me.

"Maybe you should take her upstairs and put her in bed. I am sure that she is not as comfortable as she could be." She said. _And she would not like anyone other than you hearing her talk in her sleep._ I nodded.

I lifted Bella up, careful not to jostle her and carried her upstairs. I held her in one arm and opened the door with the other, pushing it closed with my foot. I carried her over to the bed and laid her down gently. I stood back and looked at her for a moment. Irina was right; she did look peaceful. Her soft hair flowed around her like a river and her long dark lashes fanned out on her lovely smooth cheeks. Her lips were parted a little and her breathing was deep and even. She was unbelievably beautiful.

As I watched her she moved to her side and I could see that the dress she wore became twisted in her legs. I frowned. She could not be comfortable like that. I reached down and untied her shoes, setting them next to the bed. I looked at her, torn. She needed to be comfortable to sleep but the thought of undressing her had my breath coming faster. I had never seen her in her underwear. _Suck it up and do it Edward, it is for her comfort, nothing else._

I gritted my teeth and careful rolled her so that I could reach the zipper in the back of the dress. I unzipped it gently, trying not to wake her. I turned her onto her back, sucked in a deep breath and slid her dress off of her shoulders. I blew that breath out sharply when the dress slipped down past her breasts. She had on a pink and white striped bra with a pink bow in the middle. Her skin looked so soft and creamy and I had to clench my fists for a moment to regain control. How I wanted to touch her!

_Comfort only Cullen!_ I berated myself.

I quickly but gently pulled her dress the rest of the way down and off of her. I clenched my fists _and_ my jaw when I saw her undressed before me. She was wearing a pair of ridiculously short boy shorts with the same pink and white stripe as the bra. With the same pink bow. It should be illegal to even purchase those things, much less wear them. They were temptation itself. _Focus damn it!_

I quickly turned away before I could act on the lustful thoughts in my mind. I went over to her luggage to find her some pajamas. After pulling out several bits of lace and silk I gave up. There was no way I would be able to keep my hands off her in those miniscule things. I opened my own bag and pulled out one of my t-shirts. I crossed back over to the bed and sat down next to Bella.

I lifted her up, trying to ignore the feeling of her soft skin under mine and carefully pulled the shirt down over her head. Bella did not wake up during any of this. _She must really be tired_, I thought.

I put her arms through the proper holes and pulled the shirt down her body. I was able to think a little clearer now that she was covered. I lifted her up carefully and pulled the blankets back. I laid her down and pulled the covers up over her. Then I finally released the breath I had been holding.

I walked over to stare out the window until I had myself under control. As I stood there, slowing my breathing and trying to rein in my lustful thoughts I saw a movement in the yard below me.

Tanya.

She was standing outside looking up at our window. She beckoned to me when she saw me standing there. I did not want to leave Bella but I was going to have this out with Tanya once and for all. I would not tolerate her threatening or hurting Bella again.

With one last look at my sleeping love I crossed swiftly to the door and down the stairs. I could feel the eyes of my family on me as I walked outside.

_I hope you know what you are doing Edward_-Esme

_Be careful Edward, you are putting out a lot of anger_-Jasper

_Kick that bitches ass!_-Rosalie

I ignored the rest of the thoughts as I leapt down the steps and crossed over to where Tanya was standing. We were about sixty feet from the house.

"Well?" I said rudely. My hands were clenched at my sides.

"I wanted to talk to you, Edward," she said silkily.

I crossed my arms in front of me.

"About what?" I had a pretty good idea about what she wanted.

"Well I am sure your _human_ told you everything that happened when she was out here walking." She said snidely. _Running crying to her boyfriend, typical._

"Actually she didn't say anything about it. It was only after we noticed that you had hurt her that the story came out." I growled. How dare she put her hands on Bella!

"Well, I didn't mean to hurt her or anything. You know how fragile they are." She said spitefully. _I can't help it if she is as fragile as a dry twig._

"You should never have put your hands on her in the first place, Tanya. What in the hell were you thinking?" I asked angrily.

"She wasn't listening to me Edward!" Her voice became more strident. "I told her that she should step aside and she was ignoring me! I was just trying to get her attention." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Of course she ignored you!" My voice rose. "What did you really think would happen? That she would just say 'oh, well ok Tanya. I'll just go home and you can have him'?" I said sarcastically.

"She's no good for you Edward. You know we could be great together. At least you would not have to worry about breaking _me_!" She said smugly.

Her words stung, but not in the way she intended. They only reminded me of the things that I had said to Bella in the forest. Reminded me that my true love was upstairs sleeping peacefully while this catty woman was trying to destroy my happiness.

Tanya must have seen my reflection on her words as a victory because she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my neck. The woman never quit! I grabbed her by the upper arms and pushed her away. Hard. She stumbled back a few steps then looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

_What?! He's rejecting me? Again? With everything I could show him he should be worshipping at my feet! Maybe he is just uncertain about how to progress…I can help with that…_

I decided to set her straight once and for all.

"Tanya, I have tried to be as gentlemanly as possible with this because I have not wanted to hurt your feelings. But in hurting Bella you have gone too far. So I will tell you in no uncertain terms that there will never, ever be anything between us. My heart, and the rest of me for that matter, have already been claimed. Do us both a favor and stop pursuing. Nothing will come of it and you will only be angering me and hurting yourself."

She only stood staring at me and I turned to walk away.

"Just one more thing, Edward." Tanya said. What now? I just wanted to escape, to go back to Bella.

"What now, Tanya?" I said wearily, turning back to her.

"This." She said, grabbing my shirt and yanking me to her. She crashed her lips to mine in what she thought was a passionate kiss. The only thing I felt was disgust at her maneuvering.

I grabbed her hands and shoved her from me. Then I very deliberately wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. Tanya looked dumbfounded. I opened my mouth to speak when I heard a giggle coming from the house. I looked up and saw Bella standing at the window, looking down at us. When she realized I saw her she ducked back into the room, letting the curtain drop.

I turned on Tanya, hands clenched, rage flowing through me like a river.

"_I swear to GOD_, Tanya, if you have screwed up anything with Bella and me I will tear you limb from limb!" She shrank back from the ferocity in my voice. I ran back towards the house, praying to all that was holy that Bella would let me explain what had happened.

I charged into the house and up the stairs. My only focus was Bella; I did not even try to hear the thoughts of my family.

I reached the door of the bedroom and paused for a moment. I took a deep breath to steady myself before knocking once and opening the door.

"Bella?" I said tentatively. I had no idea what her reaction would be. What had she seen and what meaning had she given it?

She was looking out the window, arms crossed over her chest. She was still in my t-shirt and it barely covered her bottom. Her lovely pale legs gleamed in the moon light. _Focus Edward!_

She slowly turned to face me, looking at the floor.

"Bella, I-." I started to speak but she held up her hand to stop me. She walked over towards me slowly, still looking down. She stopped in front of me and I realized she was shaking. Was she crying? I felt my heart twist. What had Tanya done?

"Please look at me." I said, hoping there was some way to repair this disaster.

She looked up at me and if my heart had been beating it would have stopped.

She was laughing! Laughing! So hard she was shaking and tears were pouring down her face.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I reached out and grabbed her by her arms, picked her up off the floor and clutched her to me. I swung around in a circle, laughing in relief.

"Don't ever do that to me again, woman. You almost gave me a heart attack!" I set her down on the ground and looked at her face. She was smiling radiantly.

"A heart attack? Now that would really be something!" She giggled.

I took her face in my hands and kissed her. I pressed kisses to her face, her cheeks, and her neck as I spoke.

"You *kiss* scared *kiss* me *kiss* to *kiss* death *kiss*. I was giddy with relief.

She started laughing again.

"I wish you could have seen your face when she kissed you, Edward. It was like someone made you eat human food or something. You looked so disgusted it was hilarious. I hope that witch finally understands once and for all that you are all mine."

"All yours, now and forever." I kissed her slowly this time, brushing my lips back and forth across hers. She sighed with pleasure. Then she yawned.

I laughed. "Come on Sleeping Beauty. Time to go back to bed."

"I would still be sleeping if someone hadn't been trying to steal the love of my life out from under my nose." She smirked.

I took her hand and led her back to the bed. She got under the covers and I laid down on top of them, next to her. She snuggled up against me, throwing her arm over me. I ran my fingers up and down her back, stopping before reaching the hem of the shirt she wore. I didn't need to tempt fate.

"Edward?" she said my name softly.

"Yes, my Bella?"

"Who changed my clothes?"

Damn!

"Um, well…you wouldn't have been comfortable in that dress but you couldn't just sleep in your…well…without any pajamas. But the ones in your bag were too…I mean…they didn't seem that comfortable either…so I figured the shirt would be better." I couldn't believe that I was stuttering. I was sure that if I were human I would be blushing.

"So you changed my clothes." It was a statement.

"Um, yes." Would she be angry?

She laughed and I felt relief pour through me.

"Well your shirt is a whole lot more comfortable than any of those lace and silk things that Alice bought me." She took a deep breath. Inhaling. "Smells better too. It smells like you. I like it."

She was quiet for a long time and I thought she had gone to sleep. Then she spoke.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"That means you saw me in my…underwear. Were you, you know, tempted at all?" She sounded embarrassed.

So tempted I had almost undressed her completely and taken her right there. So tempted that I could have crushed granite with my teeth from clenching them together. So tempted that it had taken all my self control not to rip her clothes from her body and show her the meaning of temptation. I could not say those things to her though. Not without acting on the thoughts that went with them.

"Very much," was all I said.

"Really?" She looked up at me.

I bent my head and kissed her softly before whispering in her ear.

"Very, very, very much," I said. She shuddered.

"Oh." She sounded surprised. I laughed softly.

"Now sleep, my love. You have had one hell of a long day and you need your rest."

She reached up and kissed my jaw then yawned and nestled back into my chest.

"Good night Edward."

"Good night Bella."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N Sorry that it has taken me this long to update. I felt lost for a little bit. It was like I knew where I was going and how I wanted to get there but couldn't get started. Plus since this is a two POV story I wanted to post both chapters at the same time. So double trouble for me! But here they are: the longest chapters yet. And they are only getting longer as I go along. Thank you for your patience and don't forget that lovely button marked review.**

**I don't own Twilight, more's the pity. But I do so love messing with the character's heads!**

Bella

When I woke up the next morning I found several bags of clothes next to my luggage. Inside were several shirts and pairs of jeans. Alice. I think even if she wasn't psychic she would still be able to predict exactly what I needed.

Edward had gone downstairs when I had woken up and I got dressed and went down to join him. I found him in the kitchen, standing next to the stove. It took me a moment to process what he was doing.

Edward was cooking. It was probably the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

"Hey you," I said. I walked over to the stove and saw that he was making pancakes. They looked perfect, of course. Golden brown and fluffy.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, grinning at him.

He turned to me with a frown. "I hope they are alright. I don't think I have ever cooked before." He turned back to the stove with a look of intense concentration. It took everything I had not to laugh. He looked so serious.

"I'm sure they will be delicious." I said, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling.

"Hmmm," was all he said. I watched him as he flipped them onto the plate with extreme care.

I sat down at the table and he put the plate in front of me. They_ looked_ delicious. I poured syrup on them and took a bite. They _were_ delicious. Of course. I sighed.

Edward had been watching me with an anxious expression on his angel face.

"Are they alright?" He asked cautiously.

"Wonderful." I said and his face relaxed.

I ate contentedly and when I was done, washed my plate and put it up to dry. Edward had already cleaned up the rest of the kitchen.

We walked into the living room to find Carlisle and Esme. They looked up when we came in and greeted us.

"Bella, we have something to discuss with you." Carlisle said. "We are thinking of going back to Forks sooner than we had originally planned. We have discussed it with the rest of the family and want your opinion too. What do you think?"

I loved that he included me as part of his family.

"I'm ready to go back whenever you are. When do you want to leave?" I asked.

"We were thinking of leaving tomorrow if that is not too soon for you." Esme said.

"That suits me fine." I replied. "Why are we going back sooner than you planned?"

Carlisle looked a little uncomfortable and I understood.

"It's because of me isn't it? Because of Tanya's reaction to me, right?" I sighed.

"Bella, you didn't do anything." Edward said. He sounded exasperated.

"Edward's right, Bella. It isn't your fault that Tanya can't control herself. But we do think that it is better to go now before things get out of control." He looked at my arm as he spoke.

"Before she can hurt me again you mean." I said, shaking my head. Damn, I hated being so fragile. "Well then I guess it is better that we go. I don't want to there to be any more problems. And I would hate to cause turmoil between Tanya's family and all of you. You all have such a good bond. It would be a shame to damage that just because of me. So what time are we leaving?"

Carlisle and Esme stared at me for a moment. Edward just shook his head and sighed.

"We are leaving at eight tomorrow morning." Carlisle said.

"Ok, sounds great." I said. I would have said more but Alice came bounding down the stairs at that moment. I swear, where did she store all that energy?

"Bella! We have plans to make!" She trilled.

"What plans?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew what she meant.

"For shopping of course, silly! We need to get you outfitted to go back home." She said.

I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

Alice dragged me out of the house and to the mall in town. We spent the next six hours going to shop after shop after shop. I had to put my foot down several times to keep Alice in check. No to the blue sequined halter top that didn't even come to my navel. No to the four inch stilettos. Seriously? Had she ever seen me walk? I did give in and let her buy me a short black leather mini skirt though. She was surprised for a moment then a huge grin broke out on her face. I knew she was picturing the look on Edward's face if I ever got the courage to wear it. I was too.

We got back to the cabin with our bags and Alice took them all inside and up to my room. She wanted to get them all packed before we had to leave the next day. She told me to let her handle it and I did. I was exhausted. And this was only our first trip. I knew that she would want to take me again once we got back to Forks. Shopping with Alice took stamina-and courage.

Edward was on the couch when we got back and I went straight over to him. I kissed him hello then I lay down on the couch and put my head on his lap. He began playing with my hair.

"Tired?" He sounded amused as he bent to kiss my nose.

"Alice is exhausting." I said.

He laughed and trailed his fingers down my cheek softly while still playing with my hair. His touch was hypnotic. I felt my eyes close.

I woke up some time later to find myself in the same position. Edward was still playing with my hair and touching my face. I noticed someone had placed an afghan over me. I sat up groggily and rubbed my eyes.

"How long was I asleep?" I yawned.

"About three hours." Edward said.

I laughed. "Sorry. You should have moved me over so you could get up. I didn't mean to trap you there."

Edward just laughed. "You can trap me whenever you want."

I went to bed early that night and at seven Edward woke me up so I could shower before we left. Alice had left out clothes for me to wear and after I put my toiletry bag in my luggage it was all taken downstairs. Edward made me breakfast again, bacon and eggs and toast, and after I ate we were ready to leave.

We all said goodbye to the Denali family and Kate surprised me by pulling me into a hug. She released me quickly, looking at Edward.

"I'm sorry that there was such drama, Bella. But I am very glad to have met you. Thanks for bring Edward back from the dead, so to speak." She laughed and I could not help but laugh with her.

"I'm glad to have met all of you too. I'm sorry about what happened but I hope we can all be friends." I said.

"Me too." She said

I said good bye to Irina, Eleazar and Carmen. Tanya had not come back since the incident with Edward.

We all loaded up into the cars. Carlisle and Esme were in Carlisle's Mercedes. Rose and Emmett rode in her BMW. Alice and Jasper took the rental car and Edward and I were riding in his Volvo. We were all driving back to Forks. I knew that everyone else would beat us back home because Edward had to stop more often than they did. I was still human after all.

I was going to stay at the Cullen's for a few days before Alice, Jasper and I made our return from our "humanitarian efforts". It meant staying in most of the time so that no one would see me but it would give me time to research my trip and of course, more time with Edward.

Edward and I spent much of the drive talking. He wanted to know what the cast of characters at Forks High were up to, how Charlie was doing, what new obsession Renee had started. I told him as much as I knew which admittedly was not a lot. I had really been out of it. He told me a little about what he had been doing while we were apart, the places that he had been and things he had seen. He was editing but I could tell that it was painful for him to think about that time so I changed the subject whenever I saw him become melancholy.

It took us three days to make the drive back to Forks. Edward was very patient and kept the speed to a reasonable-for-him 125mph. I knew he was holding back for me. And I knew that when I was asleep he went much, much faster.

We arrived at the Cullen's home a day after everyone else. When we pulled up into the drive it was early afternoon. We parked in the garage and Edward grabbed our bags. When we walked into the house we were met by Emmett's booming voice.

"Took you long enough Edward! Did you guys stop and sightsee or something? Or were you trying to get out of unpacking everything?" He laughed.

"Funny, Em." Edward said, rolling his eyes. "I assume that you guys left me my room to unpack anyway, right?"

"Hell yes. No one can figure out the weird way you have your music arranged. Besides the fact that it would take _forever_ to unpack all of it anyway." Emmett said.

"I did make your bed and hang up your clothes Edward." Esme said. She had come out of the library with Carlisle when we came in. Edward put our bags down and walked over to her, putting his arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head.

"Thanks, Mom. You're the best." He grinned at her and she beamed back.

Edward went upstairs to put our luggage in his room and I stayed downstairs and looked around. Everything looked exactly the same as it had before they had left. I could not even see any dust on anything. I was amazed, though I guess I should not have been, that they were able to settle back in so quickly.

I spent the next two days looking for information online, spending as much time with Edward as possible and of course, shopping with Alice. We couldn't go to Port Angeles so she drove me to Seattle. The woman was a dynamo, moving from shop to shop, leaving happy salespeople in her wake. We had to go back to the car twice to put the bags away. I was able to keep her in check, mostly. I still felt like she bought way too much clothes. I did keep to my side of the deal and did not complain too much about the things she bought for me. To be truthful I liked most of them, though I would never let her know that. Alice had developed a pretty good sense of what I liked and didn't like.

We had disagreed only twice. Despite my stringent protests she had bought me a floor length cobalt blue dress. I could not see where I would ever wear such a thing. Then she held up what she expected me to wear underneath. I had almost fainted.

"Alice I cannot wear _that_! Are you serious?" She was holding a corset top with black embroidered flowers with matching panties in the same blue as the dress. The fabric had a soft sheen and laced up the front.

"Of course I am serious Bella," She had sighed. "If you don't wear this it will ruin the whole line of the dress." She said this like it was the worst horror imaginable.

"But Alice-."

"Bella, trust me, you will thank me for this. I promise." She tapped her head meaningfully.

I grumbled but went along. But I pouted so she knew I was displeased. She pretended not to notice.

"Don't tell Edward about this either." She had warned. "It has to be a surprise."

"Um Alice, he's a mind-reader. Or did you forget he can read your mind?" How do you keep a secret from someone who can hear your thoughts?

"I have my ways of getting around him, don't you worry." She had said.

We left shortly after that. Alice of course drove way too fast the whole way, but since we had taken Carlisle's Mercedes the trip was very smooth.

We arrived back home around nightfall. We had been gone the whole day, leaving after breakfast. It was the longest I had been away from Edward in over a week and I was eager to see him. We pulled into the drive and he was out of the house before we made it into the garage. He leapt gracefully as a gazelle off the porch and was at my door in less than a second. I unbuckled my seatbelt as he opened the door and as soon as I stepped out he engulfed me in a hug. I looked up at him and he bent swiftly to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and grasped his hair with my fingers.

I felt him smile against my lips then he lifted his head to whisper in my ear.

"I missed you."

"I can tell." I laughed breathlessly. "I missed you too."

He bent and kissed me again but too soon Alice interrupted.

"Bella, we have to get all this into the house. Come _on_." She said, tugging on my arm, breaking the kiss.

"Alice! Geez! Be careful! That arm still hurts. How can someone so tiny be the biggest annoyance in the world?"

"Sorry Bella, but I need to sort all this out. You can kiss Edward any time."

"Thank God for that." Edward said as I dragged him into the house with me.

We hauled all the bags upstairs and put them in Alice's room. When I asked why not Edward's room since that is where I was sleeping she looked at me and tapped her head meaningfully. I remembered the dress and realized that she wanted to keep it in her room to prevent Edward from seeing it.

"I'll bring everything to your room once it's sorted out Bella. I am going to have to go over everything with you anyway to make sure you know how to put it all together."

I groaned and flopped down onto the bed. This fashion stuff was way too complicated. Why couldn't we all just wear full body jumpsuits or something easy like that?

"Come on, Bella," Edward said laughing. "Let Alice figure all this stuff out. She will call you when she is ready. I want to talk to you about something anyway." He held out his hand and I grasped it. He pulled me up off the bed and into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into his chest, inhaling deeply. I lifted my head and looked at him. He was smiling down at me, his golden eyes soft.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

"Let's talk about it in my room." He said, wrapping his arm around my waist and lead me from the room.

We walked down the hall and into his room. I climbed up on the bed and sat cross legged. He sat facing me, mimicking my posture.

"Ok, so what's up?" I asked. His expression was serious and I was anxious.

"I wanted to talk to you about Charlie. We will be taking you home in a few days and I don't know what his reaction is going to be when he realizes that we are back together. Carlisle will go to the hospital tomorrow and ask for his position back and the way that gossip travels he will certainly know that we are here very soon."

I relaxed somewhat. This was a situation I knew was coming. I was worried about it but not as much as Edward seemed to be.

"I can't say for certain what his reaction will be. I know that he is going to be mad at you for sure. He blames you for everything that I went through when you were away." He winced at that and I placed my hand on his face.

"Edward, _I_ know why you left and even though I still can't believe you would do something so selfish I understand. Charlie won't be so easy to convince. Especially since you can't tell him the whole reason."

Edward was frozen. He looked completely stunned. Then his eyes narrowed and turned dark. He scowled at me. I was taken aback by his change of demeanor.

"_Selfish!? _You think I was being _selfish?!_" His tone was disbelieving. "I left to protect you! I didn't want you to be hurt any more! I wanted you to be safe and happy! _Selfish!_" He spat the last word with disdain and glared at me.

"Yes Edward, selfish." I said fiercely. "_You_ took it upon yourself to decide what was best for _us_. _You _chose the direction of our relationship, no matter how good your intentions were. _You _took it upon yourself to decide what _my _future would be without even consulting me. That is not what couples do. Decisions need to be made together. I get that you wanted to protect me; that you didn't want to see me hurt. But leaving me hurt me more than James or Victoria or even Tyler's van could ever have done. They only would have hurt me physically. You ripped out my heart and crushed it in your hand when you spoke to me in the forest that day." I saw the horrified look on his face and gentled my tone.

"Look, I know you think that you have to protect me from yourself, that you think you are some kind of monster but you're not Edward." He turned his head away from me and shook it sadly. I grabbed him by the chin and turned his face towards mine.

"Look at me." He raised his eyes to mine and they were full of sadness. My heart clenched at the sight.

"You. Are. Not. A. Monster. A monster would have drunk my blood the very moment he smelled it in that classroom. A monster would have let that van crush me because I am just a simple human and what did my life matter anyway. A monster would not have saved me from the men in Port Angeles. A monster would have left me on my own in the baseball field and let James kill me. A monster would _not_ have danced with me at Prom because he thought that it was important for me to be human as much as possible. A monster could not have fallen in love with me or held me and kissed me with such gentleness. Everything you have ever done towards me just reinforces how very unlike a monster you are."

He stared at me opening and closing his mouth repeatedly. I had so rarely seen him speechless and it amazed me.

"Listen, Edward. I know that above all else you value my safety and wellbeing. And I appreciate it, I really do. I have the worst luck in the world and having my own Vampire Superhero has its advantages." I saw his lips ghost into a smile.

"But you have to realize that hurting me to keep me from getting hurt is counter-productive. If we are going to be together-really and truly together-we have to be partners, equals. _You _can't decide what is best for _me_. _We_ have to decide what is best for _us_."

"I'm sorry Bella." His tone was sad. "I didn't think of it that way. All I could see was how exposure to me and my world-the reality of what I am-was hurting you."

"I know that. And I know that you think I am in more danger around you than I am when I am away from you but you are wrong. I can't even count the number of near death experiences I had before I even moved from Phoenix. I am so pathologically clumsy it is a miracle I ever made it past ten years old. Add a heaping dose of bad luck on top of that and it is lucky that you ever met me at all." He looked aghast at the thought.

"All I am saying is when you chose to leave me you took it upon yourself to decide my future. And no one has that right except me. I might make mistakes, do things that hurt me physically or emotionally, but those are my mistakes to make. As much as you hate it you have to let me make those choices."

He wrapped his arms around me and held to his chest.

"Bella, I never wanted to do that to you. I only wanted you to have a happy life. If that meant I wasn't in it then I was prepared to make that sacrifice. Nothing is more important to me than your happiness. I want to give you everything; I don't want my presence in your life to deprive you of all those human experiences."

I pressed my face into his shoulder for a moment. I understood what he was telling me. But he didn't understand how much my life had changed since he came into it. I would never be able to have a normal life again after meeting him.

"Edward, you have given me everything, just by being with me." He scoffed and sat back, looking at me like I was crazy.

"Just listen. What do you think my life would have been like if I had never met you? I can tell you. I would have come here, tried to fit in with everyone, tried to be normal though I have never felt like I was. I would have lived with Charlie, graduated high school. I would not to college because I would never be able to afford it. I would have ended up working at some dead end job that robbed me of brain cells and ended up marrying someone like Mike and been miserable when he cheated on me with a waitress and ran off with her. Is that the type of life you would want me to live?" He simply stared at me, dumbfounded.

"You see, I have thought about it. That is not the type of life I would want to live, not what can make me happy. _You _make me happy. Having a life with you, whatever that life entails-good or bad-is more important to me than anything in the world. I don't have the words to make you understand that my life began with you." I looked up at him helplessly. He tipped up my chin and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"I do understand what you mean. Because I feel exactly the same way. I could never go back to my life the way it was before. I don't know how I ever existed at all before I met you. I don't even think it qualifies as an existence. My heart hasn't beat in ninety years Bella but being with you makes me feel more alive than I ever did when I was still human. I just can't stand the thought of you being hurt just because of your proximity to me. If something were to happen to you, if you"-he made a choking noise -"died, I would not be able to exist. I could never exist in a world where you did not." He looked pained. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and turned his head into the caress.

"Then I guess you better stick as close to me as possible Edward Cullen, because the only time I am ever truly safe is when I am with you." His eyes snapped open and I smiled at him.

He gave me his crooked grin. "I am never _ever_ going to let you go again. I can't see how I did it the first time. And I know that _not _having you in my life is the worst torture imaginable." He kissed me softly before pulling away. He laughed at my pout before looking serious again.

"And I'm really and truly sorry for trying to take your choices away from you. I honestly never saw it that way. I want us to be partners-equals-in our decisions. But please understand that I will slip up from time to time. I doubt you truly understand how obsessively overprotective I am of you. You are everything to me, my whole life, my reason for living and I want to keep you around. That will lead me to do some things you find high-handed or overbearing. Just tell me when I am and we will talk about it. And I promise to listen." He smirked at me but I could tell he meant it.

"Don't worry," I said laughing, "I will. And I promise to listen when you are being high-handed and overbearing. Just don't expect me to always agree."

"Deal" He kissed me again to seal our bargain.

"So, where were we before we decided what a selfish idiot I am?" He was smiling.

"Talking about how to deal with Charlie I think." I said, smiling back at him. He took my left hand in his and played with my fingers, looking down.

"I don't see how we are going to reintroduce you into my life without him being angry, Edward. But I am a legal adult and I can make my own choices." He smiled at that.

"I just don't want him to be angry with you for taking me back." He said.

"I can handle it if he is. I just want you to be prepared because I am sure he will say some very-well-_uncomplimentary_ things about you and to you."

"I understand, and I deserve them anyway. Have you thought about what you are going to tell him about how we got back together?"  
"Actually I have. I will sound it out on you and we can make changes if we have to."

He looked at me expectantly.

"Well, I had planned on telling him that while I was in Brazil with Alice and Jasper you came down to aid in their humanitarian efforts. But through some crazy miscommunication you didn't know that I would still be there. You thought that I was back in Forks. We meet up, get to talking and realize that everything that happened was a big misunderstanding and we sort it out and get back together."

"It actually sounds pretty good." He smiled at me before continuing. "What is the misunderstanding that we had?"

"You thought that we were getting too serious too fast. You wanted to make sure that what you felt for me was real and not just infatuation. You knew your family would be leaving to go to L.A. and decided that the time apart would be good for us. I, on the other hand, thought you were telling me that you didn't love me and didn't want to be with me. So I didn't call you and you thought that I didn't want to be with you so you didn't call me either."

"Deceptively simple and devious, my love. Enough truth in there so you won't have to use your atrocious lying skills. I think it will work. I will of course have to apologize to Charlie for what I put you through. But I think we can do it." He was grinning.

"Well terrible lying skills aside, it will be hard to convince him but I think you are right, we can do it. Together."

"Together always, my love." He said softly, before kissing me breathless.

We decided that since Carlisle was going to go back to the hospital the next day, we would wait until the day after for me to come back home. It would give Charlie a day to come to grips with the Cullen's return before I showed back up on my doorstep. Alice and Jasper were going to bring me back, in keeping with our charade. Edward wanted to be there but we all decided that it would be too much too soon for Charlie to have me back _and _the inevitable confrontation with Edward at the same time. Part of me wanted Edward with me when I told Charlie that we were back together but the rational part of me knew that it would be better to tell him by myself.

The next day I called Charlie at work to tell him that I would be coming home.

"Forks Police Station". Charlie said as he answered the phone.

"Hey Dad, it's me." I said.

"Bella! Hey baby! How are you? What have you been up to? When are you coming home?" Charlie asked.

I laughed. "Sounds like you missed me dad." I teased.

"Well you do cook better than I do." He teased back.

"Everyone cooks better than you do Dad. And I'm fine. I wanted to tell you that I was coming home tomorrow."

"That's great, Bells. What time?" He sounded excited.

"About two I think if the plane is not late." I couldn't tell him that I was already in Forks.

"Well, I will take off from work and be there when you come home. I'm glad you're coming back home Bells."  
"Me too Dad. See you tomorrow." I said

"Alright, see you then." He hung up.

The next day Alice, Jasper and I pulled up in front of my house. Charlie's cruiser was in the front yard as well as my truck. Jasper grabbed my luggage from the trunk and we all walked up to the front door. I had barely made it to the top of the steps when the front door flew open and Charlie came out, engulfing me in a hug. Charlie and I were not openly affectionate and his greeting took me by surprise.

"Well hello to you too, Dad." I laughed into his shoulder.

Charlie was laughing too.

"I guess I missed you more than I thought." He said, letting me go. "Hello Alice, Jasper." He said, nodding to them. "Come on inside."

We all walked inside and I looked around. I knew that I had been gone less than a month but I was really glad to be home. It felt good to be in familiar surroundings. Everything looked the same as when I had left.

Jasper walked up the stairs and put my bags in my room. Alice stayed downstairs with me and Charlie. Charlie was looking at Alice questioningly.

"So how long are you staying in town for Alice?" I was pretty sure that he knew the Cullen's were back and was testing Alice.

"Oh Charlie I have great news. We are moving back to Forks!" Alice said excitedly. "Esme really hated living in the big city and really wanted to come back. The hospital gave Carlisle his old job back and everything. Isn't that great?" Alice was practically bouncing up and down in excitement.

Charlie did not look excited at all. His lips had formed into a tight line. He looked over at me for a moment.

"Are _all_ of you coming back to live here?" he asked in an even tone. It was the tone he used when trying to keep his temper in check. Jasper came back downstairs as Alice answered.

"Well Rose and Emmett are still at Dartmouth but the rest of us will be here."

Charlie stared at me for a long moment. I stared back, knowing what he was thinking.

"Well Charlie I am sure that you want to catch up with Bella." Jasper said calmly. "We will be going now."

Charlie just nodded, still staring at me. Jasper took Alice's hand and dragged her towards the door.

"I'll call you later Bella." Alice said. I looked at her and she gave me a thumbs up. I knew she was trying to tell me that everything would be alright. I hoped she was right. I heard the door close behind them and looked over at Charlie.

"Bella?" He asked.

"Dad, it's okay. I have something to tell you anyways. Come on into the living room." I said. I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. Charlie sat in his usual recliner, staring at me.

"Ok Bells, spill it. What is going on?" He asked sternly.

"Alright, I suppose you can guess that Edward is back in town." Charlie's hands fisted as I said this.

"Well, when I was in Brazil with Alice and Jasper he showed up. He didn't know that I would be there." I proceeded to tell him the story that Edward and I had agreed on. Charlie turned several shades of red as I spoke. I was worried about his health for a moment until he took a deep breath.

"So you are just going to take him back after everything that happened?" He said angrily.

"Dad, it was as much my fault as his!" I hoped that he would not ask me too many detailed questions. I was really bad at lying and I knew that if he looked hard enough he would see right through me.

"So while he was off gallivanting in L.A. having a grand ole' time you were here walking around like a zombie and that is not his fault?" I flinched when he said zombie. I had tried to keep my depression from Charlie as much as possible but apparently I had not done as good a job as I thought.

"He was not "gallivanting" around Dad. He was miserable too. Alice told me that he completely shut himself off from his family, that he stayed locked in his room or off by himself away from everyone else. He was suffering just like I was."

Charlie did not look completely convinced. He remembered too well how bad off I was.

"So are you two back together?" His voice was still angry.

"Yes, we are. Dad, I know that you don't want to hear this but I love him and he loves me. Being apart was really hard on both of us."

Charlie let his breath out in a huff, muttering under his breath. It sounded something like 'damn over-emotional teenagers'. I knew that he was still angry but was closer to accepting this than I thought he would be at this moment. His next words surprised me.

"Bella, please understand that I only want you to be happy. You do look better than I have seen you look in months. You have color in your face and your eyes are alive for the first time in a long time. Seeing you the way you were when he left almost broke my heart. I don't want to ever see you that unhappy ever again. I _will_ kill Edward if he ever causes you that kind of misery ever again. No one hurts my baby." He meant every word.

I was taken aback. Charlie had never said anything like that to me before. I was grateful that even though he didn't like that Edward and I were back together that he seemed somewhat accepting of it.

"Dad, thank you. I know that this is hard for you but being with him is what makes me feel alive. And as difficult as it is to believe right now after all that has happened but Edward will not leave me again. This was way too hard on both of us to go through that again."

"Well you may not believe me but I was young once too. I fell in love with your Mom when we were just kids like you and Edward so I do know how crazy and out of control it can make you feel. But I mean it when I say he had better never do anything like this to you again. And I want to talk to him within the next few days. I have some things I want to say to him."

I just nodded. I knew that Edward wanted to talk to Charlie too but I was terrified of what Charlie would say. Not because I thought it would drive Edward away but because I knew that he would blame himself even more than he already did. Which was a lot.

"Just please don't be too hard on him, okay? He feels really bad about what happened. He didn't know that I was suffering as much as I was."

"Just tell him to come talk to me soon, alright?" Charlie said, standing up. I stood up too and walked over to him. I took him into an uncharacteristic hug.

"Thanks Dad. Love you." I whispered.

"Love ya too Bells." He said hugging me for a moment before letting me go. "So what does a man have to do to get a home cooked meal around here?"

I just laughed and went into the kitchen.

I found the kitchen was woefully under-stocked. I would have to make a trip to the grocery store soon. I settled on making a simple pasta dish though Charlie seemed to enjoy it. I decided to unpack tonight before going to the store in the morning. I told Charlie what I was doing and he settled in to watch television. I went upstairs and into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I turned around, stifling a gasp when I Edward standing in the corner.

"Geez, you startled me. I didn't know you were going to be here. I thought you were going to come over later." I said, walking up to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist. He didn't hug me back.

"Edward? What's wrong? Are you okay?" I looked up at him. He was staring back at me, with sorrow in his eyes. I stepped back from him. He still didn't speak.

"Edward, please tell me what is wrong. You are scaring me." What was wrong with him?

Suddenly he stepped forward and engulfed me in a hug, resting his cheek on the top of my head. I hugged him back tightly. I was startled to feel him trembling.

"You have to tell me what is wrong, Edward. Please, I can't stand to see you like this. What has happened? Please, please talk to me." I could hear the anxiety in my voice.

"Oh, Bella." He said, his voice cracking slightly. "Bella, I am so, so sorry. I didn't know-I mean I had no idea-I didn't expect you would-that it would be so hard on you." His voice was hoarse with pain.

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

He released me and pulled me over to the bed. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.

"I could hear in his thoughts what you went through while I was gone. I had no idea that you would suffer so much. That I was leaving you so broken. I would never have left if I had known how much you would have to endure." His voice anguished and I felt tears form in my eyes. I reached up and took his face in my hands.

"Listen to me." I said, forcing him to look into my eyes. "You cannot keep doing this to yourself. Seeing you in pain like this hurts me more than your leaving did. You have got to stop tormenting yourself with this." His eyes looked so sad I had to reach up and kiss him.

"Yes, it hurt me when you left. Yes, I was disconnected from my life for a while, until I had that accident. You feel like you are to blame and in a way you are. I am not angry about the reasons _why_ you left, only they way you did it. You only had the best of intentions. I understand that. But you have to stop this self-reproach. You feel guilty, I know that, but you have to find a way to get over it. I can't stand to see you like this."

"I deserve this pain Bella. The one thing that I never wanted to do was hurt you and in the end I hurt you more than anyone else ever could." He said sorrowfully.

"And I forgive you for it Edward. Completely and wholeheartedly. You have my full and free forgiveness. I want to live in the present, not dwell in the past. We cannot move forward in our life together if we have this dragging us down."

He looked me in eyes, searching for something. Whatever it was he must have found because he smiled softly and kissed me.

"Why do you love me so much? What did I ever do to deserve you in my life?" He asked in wonder.

I smiled back at him. "I could ask you the same question."

He just shook his head and laughed, pulling me into his arms.

A little while later he was stretched out on my bed, watching me as I unpacked. Even though my bags were packed to the brim there were still more clothes of mine at the Cullen's house. I had told Alice that I could not leave with two bags and come back with five. She had agreed to bring the rest of my clothes over later.

"I'm sure you know but Charlie wants to talk to you in a few days." I said, breaking the comfortable silence.

He sighed. "I know. I am surprised that he took it so well. Even though his thoughts were still angry with me he was resigned to the fact that we are back together. I will call him tomorrow."

"You know, school starts in a week. Are you ready for that?" I asked apprehensively. I knew that if hearing Charlie's thoughts were painful then school was going to be hard on him. He understood what I meant. Seeing memories of my suffering multiplied in everyone's minds would be difficult.

"Yes, I think I can handle it. It will be hard but having you with me in all my classes will help."

"What do you mean all of your classes? How do you know that?" I was puzzled.

"Well, Jazz is a computer genius and he hacked into the school database and changed my schedule." He was grinning. I was too until I thought of something. He saw the blood drain from my face and became alarmed.

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"_All _my classes? Even Gym?" I squeaked. Oh God please do not let me have to endure Gym class with Edward. It was bad enough that everyone else had to see me almost kill myself and others on a daily basis. Now I would have to do it in front of him. Him. The epitome of grace and perfection. Please let the Earth swallow me up now.

"Well, yes." He said hesitantly. "Is that a problem?"

I looked at him as if he had lost his mind. Of course it was a problem. I would have to ask Jasper to change his schedule for me.

"Edward, I cannot bear to have you see me in Gym class. It is bad enough to have you watch me through everyone else while I am in there. To have you there with me would be beyond humiliating."

"Bella, you are being silly." He laughed. "I think everything you do is adorable. There is no reason to be humiliated. I think your clumsiness is endearing." His eyes were dancing with love and humor.

I opened my mouth to say something when my cell phone buzzed. I picked it up and saw that I had a new text message.

**Jasper is changing his schedule now. He will have gym first period and you will have it last period. Knew Charlie would be ok with things. Talk to you soon! Alice.**

I loved that little pixie.


	32. Chapter 32

Edward

Bella had been asleep for a few hours when I heard Alice outside the door.

_Edward?_

"Yes Alice?" I said in a voice too low to wake Bella.

_Can I come in? I have something for Bella for tomorrow._

"Alright, but quietly. She had a very long day and needs to sleep."

Alice opened the door silently and walked into the room carrying several shopping bags. She placed them on the floor next to her luggage. Then she walked over to the bed and looked down at Bella, then frowned.

_Why isn't she wearing the pajamas I got her? They are all so beautiful!_

"She is more comfortable in my shirt." I was certain of that.

_Well, I am taking her shopping tomorrow so don't try to monopolize her._

"Fine, Alice. Good Night." There was no arguing with Alice.

_Goodnight Edward._ She danced her way out of the room.

Sometime later I heard the whole family gather in the living room. Carlisle called my name in his head.

_Edward we have something we all need to discuss. Can you come down for a moment?_

I sighed quietly and gently extricated myself from Bella's arms. I went downstairs and saw that my family was all seated the living room. The Denali's were hunting at the moment. I sat down and waited expectantly.

Carlisle spoke.

"I believe that we should leave for Forks within the next day or so. Unfortunately the incident with Tanya cannot be ignored. Making a pass at Edward is one thing; hurting Bella is another entirely. Edward can take care of himself but Bella is still to fragile to be around Tanya if she is going to behave this way."

I nodded. Tanya's thoughts were too clouded by jealousy to let her think clearly. She might really hurt Bella next time.

"Just let that harpy get near my little sister and I will tear her apart." Rosalie spat. Everyone looked at her, amazed. She just shrugged and looked at her nails.

_I am just starting to like her and I don't want anyone to hurt her. Besides Tanya is such a bitch anyways she doesn't deserve you Edward._

I was shocked. That was probably the nicest thing I had ever heard from Rose. I looked over at her and smiled and she gave me a faint smile back before going back to examining her nails.

"I have no problem going back early, Carlisle." I said. I saw Alice and Jasper nod in agreement.

"I'll miss the grizzlies but I would hate for something to happen to Bella that would bring Broodward back among us." Emmett said winking at me. I rolled my eyes at him and everyone laughed.

"Well we'll check with Bella in the morning and see if she is agreeable." Esme said. Carlisle nodded and I sensed the meeting was over. I went back upstairs to my Bella.

When Bella woke up in the morning I let her get dressed and went downstairs to attempt something I had never done before. Cook.

I knew Bella needed to eat breakfast so I gathered all the ingredients for pancakes. I read the instructions carefully and assembled the ingredients. Ugh, how did humans eat this stuff? It smelled terrible.

I turned on the stove to the appropriate temperature and poured the batter into the pan. I read the instructions three times to make sure I was doing this properly. I turned them according to the instructions on the box, looking over the picture to make sure they looked correct. I had to throw away two batches because they didn't look just right.

I was preparing the third batch when I heard Bella enter the kitchen.

"Hey you," She said walking over to stand next to me. She looked lovely in a pair of dark jeans and soft red v-neck shirt.

"Are you hungry?" She was grinning at her joke. Like I would ever eat these things.

I looked down at her. "I hope they are alright. I don't think I have ever cooked before." I turned back to look at the pancakes. I didn't want to burn them.

"I'm sure they will be delicious." She sounded amused.

"Hmmm." I said. I wanted these to be perfect for her and I had to concentrate. It wasn't like I could taste test them myself. I flipped them onto the plate and was satisfied that they looked like the picture on the box.

Bella sat down at the table and I put the pancakes in front of her. She poured the sickeningly sweet smelling syrup on them and took a bite. I held my breath. She sighed. Were they awful?

"Are they alright?"

"Wonderful." She said. I was relieved. I cleaned up the kitchen as Bella ate. She washed her plate after she ate and we went into the living room.

Carlisle and Esme looked up when we walked in and greeted us.

"Bella, we have something to discuss with you." Carlisle said. "We are thinking of going back to Forks sooner than we had originally planned. We have discussed it with the rest of the family and want your opinion too. What do you think?" _We don't need a replay of yesterday._

"I'm ready to go back whenever you are. When do you want to leave?" Bella said.

"We were thinking of leaving tomorrow if that is not too soon for you." Esme said.

"That suits me fine." Bella replied. "Why are we going back sooner than you planned?"

_Because Tanya is apparently crazy._ Carlisle thought. He looked uncomfortable. Bella noticed his expression.

"It's because of me isn't it? Because of Tanya's reaction to me, right?" Bella sighed. I knew she would find a way blame herself for this.

"Bella, you didn't do anything." I said. Damn Tanya and her antics.

"Edward's right, Bella. It isn't your fault that Tanya can't control herself. But we do think that it is better to go now before things get out of control." He looked at her arm. _What the hell was Tanya thinking putting her hands on Bella like that?!_

"Before she can hurt me again you mean." Bella said, shaking her head wearily. "Well then I guess it is better that we go. I don't want to there to be any more problems. And I would hate to cause turmoil between Tanya's family and all of you. You all have such a good bond. It would be a shame to damage that just because of me. So what time are we leaving?"

"_Just because of her"? Doesn't she know that we would do anything for her, Edward? That her being with you is so much more important to us?_ Esme thought.

I sighed and shook my head. Bella would never understand how important she was to me, to all of us.

"We are leaving at eight tomorrow morning." Carlisle said.

"Ok, sounds great." Bella said. She opened her mouth but a certain dark haired pixie dictator came down the stairs at that moment.

"Bella! We have plans to make!" She trilled.

Bella looked uneasy. "What plans?"

"For shopping of course, silly! We need to get you outfitted to go back home." _You are going to love all the new things I am getting for you today!_

I knew Alice was looking forward to this way more than Bella was. Bella sighed and I knew I was right. I watched as Alice tugged Bella out the door, Bella looking resigned and Alice looking like she just won the Bella lottery.

I occupied myself while Bella was gone by catching up with my family. I had missed them. Being away from them for so long made me realize how important to me they were. And I realized now how much they had missed me when I was gone. I made a mental promise to never do that to them again.

Emmett told me about their travels in Africa.

"You would have loved it Edward. The hunting there was amazing! We made sure to steer clear of any animal preserves and endangered species but that left a lot of other things to hunt. I even got to wrestle a crocodile!" I laughed at the excitement in his voice.

"Are they your new favorite then?" I teased.

"God, no! But they were a lot of fun. You should have been there Ed! I know you would have loved racing with the cheetahs. They might have given you a run for your money." He laughed at his joke. I laughed too but inside I felt horrible that I had missed experiencing these things with my brother.

Jasper was sitting beside me and picked up on my mood.

_Don't worry about it Edward. You can always take a trip, just you and him. You have all the time in the world, remember? One of those vampire perks._

I looked over at him and smiled. He was right. I had plenty of time to make memories with my family.

Carlisle told me that he had taken a teaching position at a local college. I could hear in his thoughts that though he loved molding young minds, fighting off the amorous advances his young female students had been taxing.

"I guess we can call you Doctor _Love_ then Carlisle?" I laughed uproariously. Emmett was almost hysterical with laughter.

"I'm the only one who gets to call him that." Esme said, winking at Carlisle. Emmett groaned and Carlisle looked smug. I laughed again.

_It is so good to see Edward laugh again! _Esme thought.

I learned that Jasper and Alice had been keeping a watch over Bella while she was in Rio. I was glad to know that they had protected her. And glad that they had left just before I had found her again. Our reunion was something I held very dear to my heart right now. I was glad I hadn't had to share it with anyone except Bella.

I heard Carlisle's car pull up a few hours later. I had to restrain myself from jumping up and running out to meet them. I had more control than that, right? Bella came inside, dragging her feet. She looked completely worn out. She came over to where I was and kissed me. She stretched out on the couch next to me and rested her head on my leg. I began stroking her soft dark hair.

"Tired?" I asked. She looked so adorably worn out. I bent and kissed her on her nose.

"Alice is exhausting." She said.

_I didn't even get a third of what I need! I have so much more I to get for her once we get back home. This is just enough to get her until school starts. _Alice was upstairs, sorting out the clothes for Bella. Though before she opened one of the bags she began reciting Othello in her head. I stopped listening figuring whatever it was she was hiding in Bella's wardrobe I would find out in good time.

I ran my fingers down Bella's cheek, reveling in its softness. Soon her eyes began to droop and she fell asleep.

Esme and Carlisle came in a little while later and stood with their arms wrapped around each other, watching me and Bella. Esme sighed and rested her head on Carlisle's chest and he ran his fingers through her hair.

_I don't have the words to express how happy I am that you two are back together, Edward. _Esme thought. I simply nodded. I was gloriously happy as well. I had forgotten how happiness felt until Bella had found me again.

Bella shivered slightly and Esme noticed. She flashed upstairs and pulled an afghan out of the linen closet. She was back downstairs a second later and placed it over Bella carefully. She stirred slightly and whispered "Thanks Momma Esme" before nestling back into my leg and falling asleep again.

Esme positively beamed.

A few hours later I could feel Bella waking up. She sat up and rubbed her eyes like a child.

"How long was I asleep?" she asked on a yawn.

"About three hours." I said and she laughed.

"Sorry. You should have moved me over so you could get up. I didn't mean to trap you there."

I could have spent the rest of eternity just watching her sleep and never tire of it.

"You can trap me whenever you want." I said laughing with her.

We had a long day ahead tomorrow and Bella went to bed early. Even after her nap she was exhausted as the last couple of days caught up with her. I let her sleep until seven but had to wake her up so we could be on our way. I forayed into the kitchen again to make her breakfast, bacon and eggs this time. She seemed to enjoy it though it still smelled dreadful to me. Emmett and Jasper loaded all the luggage into the cars and after Bella ate we said our goodbyes.

Kate pulled Bella into a hug. _Sorry Edward, but I like her and I am grateful to her for making you so happy again._ She released Bella and looked at me. I just nodded at her.

"I'm sorry that there was such drama, Bella. But I am very glad to have met you. Thanks for bring Edward back from the dead, so to speak." She laughed at her own joke and surprisingly Bella laughed with her.

"I'm glad to have met all of you too. I'm sorry about what happened but I hope we can all be friends." Bella said. _Oh, me too! I think I am really going to like her._ _She is the most unusual human I have ever met._

"Me too," Kate said.

Bella said her goodbyes to the rest of the Denali's and we all loaded up into our vehicles.

Tanya had not returned.

Bella and I were going to drive straight to Forks in my Volvo. Emmett and Rosalie were going to follow Alice and Jasper in the M3 so they could drop off the rental car. Carlisle and Esme were in the Mercedes. I knew that they all would arrive back home before Bella and I since we had to stop to accommodate what she called her "human moments". Besides that, she would have an anxiety attack if I went over 125mph, and even then she only grudgingly allowed it by pretending not to look at the speedometer. I took the opportunity to drive with real speed when she was asleep. Even though it felt like we were crawling home sometimes I enjoyed my uninterrupted Bella time. When we got back to Forks I would have to share her more and more. I cringed internally. I had only just gotten her back and the knowing I would soon have to split time with Charlie and school and my family made me resentful of losing that time. I had missed her face every second for the last six months. She was all I had been able to think about, the only thing that had made my existence feel real at all. I coveted every moment with her now.

We talked about school and about Charlie and Renee. She asked me what I had been up to while we were apart. I told her about the places that I had traveled to and the things that I had seen, having to exaggerate at times. I did not want her to know how I spent most of the time isolated from everything and everyone. I did not tell her about the crushing pain and loneliness that I had felt when I was away from her. I did not tell her that seeing her face in my mind a thousand times a day was both the sweetest pleasure and most horrible torture I had ever endured. Perceptive as always though, she could sense the change in my mood and changed the subject when she saw how sad it made me.

We finally made it home after three days on the road. The trip normally took just under two days, as the vampire drives. When we pulled into the garage and grabbed the luggage Emmett's voice called out from inside the house.

"Took you long enough Edward! Did you guys stop and sightsee or something? Or were you trying to get out of unpacking everything?" _Or did you stop to have a little fun?_ He laughed.

I rolled my eyes at his humor. "Funny, Em. I assume that you guys left me my room to unpack anyway, right?"

"Hell yes. No one can figure out the weird way you have your music arranged. Besides the fact that it would take _forever_ to unpack all of it anyway." _You are the most anal retentive vampire I have ever met. _

Esme and Carlisle came out of the library then.

"I did make your bed and hang up your clothes Edward." Esme said.

I swear I had the best mother in the entire world. I walked over and put my arm around her, then kissed her on the top of her head. I grinned at her and she grinned back.

"Thanks, Mom. You're the best." _You're worth it son._

I took the bags up to my room and saw that it looked much like the last time we had lived here before. Esme had swapped the couch for a bed since Bella would be staying with us for a few more days. It was a large wrought iron bed with a dark blue coverlet and dark gray sheets. There were several soft pillows as well. I was grateful to Esme for thinking of it. I saw several boxes on the floor and knew that they were my music and journals. I decided to put them away later and went back downstairs.

The next two days I spent as much time as I could with Bella and my family. Bella was looking up information about Brazil online. She said it was all in keeping with the charade of her "humanitarian efforts". She always smirked at me when she said it for some reason and when I asked her why she laughed and said it was because of the irony of bringing me back to "life", back to humanity so to speak. I laughed with her and realized that she was right. She had brought me back to life; she had saved me from myself. I was nothing without her and being with her allowed me to feel more human than I ever though possible. This woman was my miracle.

The second day we were home was the hardest I'd had since Bella had found me in Rio. Alice had practically kidnapped her that morning after Bella had eaten breakfast. They were going shopping in Seattle. I was restless after they left and decided to go hunting. I needed something to do to keep my mind off missing Bella. I found two elk and drained them quickly. I was still feeling restless and now full of energy after hunting. I decided to run. I paid no attention to where my feet were taking me, I simply ran. I was surprised therefore to find myself in the meadow. Our meadow. It seemed even more magical now. There were so many memories of Bella in this meadow and I felt almost dizzy as they all swirled through my head. If not for Bella decision to seek me out we would not have the opportunity to make more memories in this glorious place. I felt my dead heart clench at the thought. How could I have been so stupid? Letting her go was the most foolish thing I had ever done. I could see that now. Could see that I had been deluding myself into thinking that I could live without her. I had felt empty, hollow without her. Now with her by my side I felt complete. Whole. I felt like I could face anything as long as I was with her. She might be fragile by human standards but in her heart she was stronger than me. Even though my leaving had hurt her she had tried to live. To try to be normal, try to survive. Then to make the decision to find me, to come and seek me out though she had no way of knowing what I would do or say amazed me more and more. I don't know if I would ever be able to match her strength of heart. I truly did not deserve her but I would always cherish her.

I spent a few more hours in the meadow. Drawing strength from just being there. I ran home rather leisurely and found Emmett and Jasper playing video games. Carlisle was at work, Esme was upstairs working on an interior decorating scheme and Rosalie was in the garage, tinkering with my Volvo.

_No one has really driven this thing in months and it needed a tune up. _She thought as I walked by.

"Thanks Rose, I appreciate it." I said. She 'harrumphed' in response.

I spent the next few hours playing video games and arguing playfully with my brothers while surreptitiously watching the clock. How long did it take to shop anyway? I knew that Alice loved to marathon shop but she had to realize that Bella was not as indefatigable as she was. I was tempted to call Bella just to hear her voice when my phone buzzed with a new text message.

**Don't you dare call her. This is our day. We will be leaving to come home in ten minutes. Get a grip and we will see you in an hour or so. Alice.**

Well I could wait an hour, right?

After fifteen minutes I was tapping my foot. After thirty my leg was bouncing up and down in impatience as I sat on the couch.

_Edward, get a grip! You are killing me with this. She will be home soon. If you have to twitch and fidget at least go upstairs. _Jasper was feeling the strain of my impatience.

I took his advice and went upstairs. Fifteen minutes later I was still pacing the floor. I stopped and ran my fingers through my hair. What was wrong with me? I had to get myself under control. She had only been gone a few hours. Well several hours. Well almost the whole day really. If I was this restless and needy after only one day apart from her what was it going to be like when she was back home and I could not be around her every minute of the day? I could not imagine. I did not want to imagine.

I missed her face, her beautiful eyes, her scent. Wait. Her scent. I looked around my room. On the bed was the t-shirt that she had worn to sleep. I picked it up and held it to my face, inhaling her scent. Like in Denali I felt instantly calmer, more grounded. I stood there, holding her shirt to my face. I heard Jasper heave a sigh of relief downstairs.

_I don't want to know what you are doing to calm down, but thanks bro._

I stood there for a moment, luxuriating in her scent. It took me a moment to realize that I felt no bloodlust, only a slight burning in the back of my throat. The most overpowering thing I felt now was love for Bella.

I did not have time to really think about that though. I heard the Mercedes coming down the driveway. I was down the stairs and out the front door before the car had pulled into the garage. I leapt off the porch and sped to the passenger side door. I pulled open the door as Bella unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed her as she stepped out. I pulled her into a hug, feeling complete now that she was in my arms. She tilted her head up towards me and I kissed her soft lips. Her hands found their way into my hair and she tugged slightly. I reveled in the sensation.

I smiled when I realized that I had not even said hello before needing to kiss her. I pulled away from the kiss to whisper in her ear.

"I missed you."

"I can tell." She said, laughing breathlessly. "I missed you too."

I kissed her again, needing her lips against mine.

_Edward, we need to get all this stuff inside so I can get it all sorted out._

I ignored Alice's petulant thoughts. She'd had Bella all day; now it was my turn.

_Edward!_

Alice realized that she was getting nowhere with me and tried a different tactic.

"Bella, we have to get all this into the house. Come _on_." She tugged on the arm that Bella had around my neck, pulling her from the kiss.

"Alice! Geez! Be careful! That arm still hurts. How can someone so tiny be the biggest annoyance in the world?" Bella was exasperated. I was too. I was nowhere near done kissing her.

"Sorry Bella, but I need to sort all this out. You can kiss Edward any time." _Just a few more minutes Edward then she is all yours._

"Thank God for that." I said before Bella dragged me into the house with an arm full of shopping bags.

We carried the bags into the house and upstairs.

_These go in my room, Edward. And no peeking in the bags or in my head. _

The meaning of her statement became clearer when Bella asked why the bags were in Alice's room and not mine. When Alice tapped her head and Bella nodded in understanding I knew that she had purchased something special for some vision she might have had. Alice was translating War and Peace into Chinese in her head so I knew I was right.

"I'll bring everything to your room once it's sorted out Bella. I am going to have to go over everything with you anyway to make sure you know how to put it all together." Alice told her. She began pulling garments out of the bags.

Bella lay down on the bed and groaned in frustration. I knew she wanted her clothes to be comfortable and uncomplicated. A difficult task when Alice was the one picking them.

I laughed at her frustrated expression and decided to steal her away from Alice. And I needed to discuss something with her.

"Come on, Bella. Let Alice figure all this stuff out. She will call you when she is ready. I want to talk to you about something anyway."

I reached out my hand to her and she leaned up and grasped it. Using a tiny amount of my strength I pulled her up off the bed and into my arms. She encircled my waist with her arms and nestled her face into my chest, taking in a deep breath. Inhaling my scent I realized. I wondered if it had the same effect on her that it had on me. She raised her head to look at me and I smiled down at her, loving her arms around me.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked.

"Let's talk about it in my room." I looped my arm around her waist and drew her out of the room.

We walked down the hallway to my room and she crawled up onto my bed, sitting with her legs crossed and a curious expression on her face. I sat down facing her in same position. I wanted to talk to her about this since Carlisle had brought it up to me but had not felt like the time was right until now.

"Ok, so what's up?" I heard her heartbeat pick up and the anxiety in her voice.

"I wanted to talk to you about Charlie. We will be taking you home in a few days and I don't know what his reaction is going to be when he realizes that we are back together. Carlisle will go to the hospital tomorrow and ask for his position back and the way that gossip travels he will certainly know that we are here very soon." I heard her breathing become more stable and her heartbeat slow. Apparently she was not as worried about this as I was.

"I can't say for certain what his reaction will be. I know that he is going to be mad at you for sure. He blames you for everything that I went through when you were away." I winced at the reminder of the pain that I had caused the both of us and she placed her hand on my face to comfort me.

"Edward, _I_ know why you left and even though I still can't believe you would do something so selfish I understand. Charlie won't be so easy to convince. Especially since you can't tell him the whole reason."

My mind stopped. Literally stopped. Then it started running again at full speed. It clung to one word, repeating it over and over again in my ear.

Selfish.

What the hell did that mean? She thought that when I left I was being selfish? How in the hell did she come to that conclusion? I left _for_ her, because of her, because I loved her too much to stay. I had torn out my heart to give her a better life and she thought I was _selfish_? Leaving her was the hardest thing I had ever done in my very long life and she thought I did it for self-serving reasons? I was suddenly angry.

"_Selfish!? _You think I was being _selfish? _I left to protect you! I didn't want you to be hurt any more! I wanted you to be safe and happy! _Selfish!_" I said the word with as much disdain as I could muster. She scowled at me.

"Yes Edward, selfish." Her voice was intense. "_You_ took it upon yourself to decide what was best for _us_. _You _chose the direction of our relationship, no matter how good your intentions were. _You _took it upon yourself to decide what _my _future would be without even consulting me. That is not what couples do. Decisions need to be made together. I get that you wanted to protect me; that you didn't want to see me hurt. But leaving me hurt me more than James or Victoria or even Tyler's van could ever have done. They only would have hurt me physically. You ripped out my heart and crushed it in your hand when you spoke to me in the forest that day."

If my heart was beating it would have stopped. She had never directly spoken about how much it hurt her when I left. To hear her state it in such bald terms horrified me. How could I have hurt her so much? I saw her point. I had never consulted her, never told her my feelings. I wanted her to be safe but never let her have a say in the matter. Maybe if I had we would never have had to part. Maybe I _was_ selfish. Maybe it was my own fears that had made me run away. Fear that I would be the one that would hurt her. Me. A thought I could not bear. But when I left I hurt her anyway. I _was_ a monster.

"Look, I know you think that you have to protect me from yourself, that you think you are some kind of monster but you're not Edward." I wondered if she could read _my _mind. I looked away and shook my head. She was wrong. She grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her eyes.

"Look at me." I saw her wince slightly at the sadness I am sure she saw in mine.

"You. Are. Not. A. Monster. A monster would have drunk my blood the very moment he smelled it in that classroom. A monster would have let that van crush me because I am just a simple human and what did my life matter anyway. A monster would not have saved me from the men in Port Angeles. A monster would have left me on my own in the baseball field and let James kill me. A monster would _not_ have danced with me at Prom because he thought that it was important for me to be human as much as possible. A monster could not have fallen in love with me or held me and kissed me with such gentleness. Everything you have ever done towards me just reinforces how very unlike a monster you are."

I could only stare. Having her recount all those memories to me-I was astounded. She really did not see me as a monster, even after everything she had been through because of me. Her faith in me was astounding.

"Listen, Edward. I know that above all else you value my safety and wellbeing. And I appreciate it, I really do. I have the worst luck in the world and having my own Vampire Superhero has its advantages." I smiled slightly, remembering that day in the cafeteria when I had asked her to tell me her theories, when she was still trying to figure out what kind of creature I was. And even now, after knowing what I was, she did not run and scream. Amazing.

"But you have to realize that hurting me to keep me from getting hurt is counter-productive. If we are going to be together-really and truly together-we have to be partners, equals. _You _can't decide what is best for _me_. _We_ have to decide what is best for _us_."

She was right, again. I had been making all the decisions, making choices for the both of us. I had never really consulted her about anything. Just made the decision and followed through, cajoling her or dazzling her until she went along. I could see how she would feel inadequate or insecure in our relationship. I had never meant to make her feel like we were not equal. I was so used to doing whatever I wanted that I had overlooked her input completely. I was such an ass.

"I'm sorry Bella." I said sadly. "I didn't think of it that way. All I could see was how exposure to me and my world-the reality of what I am-was hurting you."

"I know that. And I know that you think I am in more danger around you than I am when I am away from you but you are wrong. I can't even count the number of near death experiences I had before I even moved from Phoenix. I am so pathologically clumsy it is a miracle I ever made it past ten years old. Add a heaping dose of bad luck on top of that and it is lucky that you ever met me at all."

I was appalled. Never have met her? I could not even entertain the thought, the possibility, that Bella might never have entered my life. I realized now all the little pieces of fate that had come together to form my destiny. Bella's parents divorce and separation. Our coming to Forks. Bella's selflessness to leave her mother to come live with her father. Her scent and quiet mind. All these things had brought us together. I could not imagine another century feeling as I did before Bella came along and turned my entire world upside down.

Bella continued. "All I am saying is when you chose to leave me you took it upon yourself to decide my future. And no one has that right except me. I might make mistakes, do things that hurt me physically or emotionally, but those are my mistakes to make. As much as you hate it you have to let me make those choices."

I wrapped my arms around her.

"Bella, I never wanted to do that to you. I only wanted you to have a happy life. If that meant I wasn't in it then I was prepared to make that sacrifice. Nothing is more important to me than your happiness. I want to give you everything; I don't want my presence in your life to deprive you of all those human experiences."

She pressed her face into my shoulder.

"Edward, you have given me everything, just by being with me."

I scoffed at the notion and sat back. Was she crazy? I was taking away all the human things in her life just by being around her and she thought I was giving her everything?

"Just listen. What do you think my life would have been like if I had never met you? I can tell you. I would have come here, tried to fit in with everyone, tried to be normal though I have never felt like I was. I would have lived with Charlie, graduated high school. I would not to college because I would never be able to afford it. I would have ended up working at some dead end job that robbed me of brain cells and ended up marrying someone like Mike and been miserable when he cheated on me with a waitress and ran off with her. Is that the type of life you would want me to live?"

I could not believe that she had put so much thought into this. Though I would hope that in her parallel universe, the one where I did not exist, that she would have better sense than to pick someone like Mike Newton.

"You see, I have thought about it. That is not the type of life I would want to live, not what can make me happy. _You _make me happy. Having a life with you, whatever that life entails-good or bad-is more important to me than anything in the world. I don't have the words to make you understand that my life began with you."

She looked up at me with a helpless expression on her face. I could tell that she was trying to express to me how much she loved me. And just like me she could not find enough words to convey the depth of her feelings. I raised her chin and kissed her lips.

"I do understand what you mean. Because I feel exactly the same way. I could never go back to my life the way it was before. I don't know how I ever existed at all before I met you. I don't even think it qualifies as an existence. My heart hasn't beat in ninety years Bella but being with you makes me feel more alive than I ever did when I was still human. I just can't stand the thought of you being hurt just because of your proximity to me. If something were to happen to you, if you"-I could barely say the word -"died, I would not be able to exist. I could never exist in a world where you did not." Thinking about her dying, of having to live without her, caused me actual physical pain. She reached up and thread her warm fingers into my hair. I closed my eyes and pressed my head into her caress. Her touch soothed me.

"Then I guess you better stick as close to me as possible Edward Cullen because the only time I am ever truly safe is when I am with you." I opened my eyes swiftly to see her smiling at me. She was right. Being by her side at all times seemed the best way to protect her from danger. I suddenly began relishing my job as Vampire Superhero.

I grinned at her. "I am never _ever_ going to let you go again. I can't see how I did it the first time. And I know that _not _having you in my life is the worst torture imaginable." I kissed her lips before pulling away and laughing at her pout. I schooled my features before speaking.

"And I'm really and truly sorry for trying to take your choices away from you. I honestly never saw it that way. I want us to be partners-equals-in our decisions. But please understand that I will slip up from time to time. I doubt you truly understand how obsessively overprotective I am of you. You are everything to me, my whole life, my reason for living and I want to keep you around. That will lead me to do some things you find high-handed or overbearing. Just tell me when I am and we will talk about it. And I promise to listen." I smiled at her, though I meant every word. I would never give her a reason to feel like she was not my equal in our relationship.

"Don't worry I will." She said laughing. "And I promise to listen when you are being high-handed and overbearing. Just don't expect me to always agree."

"Deal." I said and kissed my angel's lips to seal it.

"So, where were we before we decided what a selfish idiot I am?" I asked, smiling.

"Talking about how to deal with Charlie I think." She said, smiling back at me. I took her left hand in mine and started playing with her fingers, one in particular, though she did not notice.

"I don't see how we are going to reintroduce you into my life without him being angry, Edward. But I am a legal adult and I can make my own choices." Yes, she could and she chose me. I smiled at the thought.

"I just don't want him to be angry with you for taking me back." I knew how important her relationship to her father was and I did not want to be the one to disrupt that.

"I can handle it if he is. I just want you to be prepared because I am sure he will say some very-well-_uncomplimentary_ things about you and to you." No doubt about that.

"I understand, and I deserve them anyway. Have you thought about what you are going to tell him about how we got back together?" I asked.

"Actually I have. I will sound it out on you and we can make changes if we have to."

I was very interested in what her mind had come up with. She was always so full of surprises.

"Well, I had planned on telling him that while I was in Brazil with Alice and Jasper you came down to aid in their humanitarian efforts. But through some crazy miscommunication you didn't know that I would still be there. You thought that I was back in Forks. We meet up, get to talking and realize that everything that happened was a big misunderstanding and we sort it out and get back together." It sounded plausible.

"It actually sounds pretty good." I said, smiling. "What is the misunderstanding that we had?" This was the part I was interested in the most. What reason would she come up with?

"You thought that we were getting too serious too fast. You wanted to make sure that what you felt for me was real and not just infatuation. You knew your family would be leaving to go to L.A. and decided that the time apart would be good for us. I, on the other hand, thought you were telling me that you didn't love me and didn't want to be with me. So I didn't call you and you thought that I didn't want to be with you so you didn't call me either."

It made a lot of sense in the context of a teenage romance. Which I guess is what we had, technically anyway. With my gift I knew that silly arguments often turned into week or longer fights that ended relationships, all because a lack of communication. Charlie should see this too, I hoped.

"Deceptively simple and devious, my love. Enough truth in there so you won't have to use your atrocious lying skills. I think it will work. I will of course have to apologize to Charlie for what I put you through. But I think we can do it." I grinned at her.

"Well terrible lying skills aside, it will be hard to convince him but I think you are right, we can do it. Together."

"Together always, my love." Together. It was my mantra. I kissed her lips, giving her my love and my promise. Together, always.

We decided to give Charlie a day to hear the gossip of our return and get somewhat used to the idea. Alice and Jasper were taking Bella home. Alice had had a vision that everything would turn out fine but I desperately wanted to be there when Bella told Charlie. She should not have to do this alone. But I was overruled by both Bella and my family. Charlie should have some time with just Bella and some time to get used to our reconciliation before seeing me again.

The next day Bella called Charlie and told him that she would be home at two the next afternoon. Charlie seemed excited that Bella was home. I made the most of my last night with Bella before real life intruded. We sat in my room, listening to music, sometimes talking or just laying together. I sang her to sleep and watched her for a long time. I used this night to find the strength needed to let her go, to let her rejoin her life. It was very difficult but by morning I felt calmer, more stable. I knew that I would be able to endure my time apart from her. It would make the times we spent together that much sweeter.

Alice and Jasper loaded up her luggage and took her to her home the next day.

I watched them pull out of the driveway and decided in that moment that I could not let her be alone when she talked to Charlie. I had to be with her.

My phone buzzed at that moment.

**Not a good idea, Edward. She has to do this alone, for herself and for Charlie. If you have to be there stay upstairs. It is not going to be pleasant for you so don't say I didn't warn you. Alice**

I knew Alice was right. Bella needed this. She needed to feel strong. But I would be in her room. Nearby in case she needed me.

I ran to her house, easily beating them there. I listened but could find no active thoughts around me so I leapt up and into her window. I sat in the rocking chair waiting for them to arrive.

I heard the Mercedes as it drove down the street. It crunched on the gravel of the driveway and I heard the relief and joy in Charlie's thoughts when he realized that it was Bella.  
I saw in Alice's mind the hug that Charlie gave Bella and heard the surprise in her laughing response_. Oh he missed her so much, how sweet._

I heard them walk inside and Jasper's footsteps on the stairs. He opened the bedroom door and looked over to find me sitting in the rocking chair.

_Figured you could not stay away. Alice told me that this was going to be hard on you. I hope you are ready for that._

"Ready for what?" I asked at vampire speed.

_I am not entirely certain but I think you might hear some things that upset you. That is the most that I could get from Alice._

I listened in to Alice's mind but she was not thinking about her vision so I could not see what he meant. Well I would just have to deal with it when the time came.

"Thanks Jazz. I think I'll be okay."

Jasper just shrugged and put her luggage down beside her bed.

I heard Charlie asking Alice how long she was in town for and heard Alice give our decided upon story. Jasper walked out the door, no doubt feeling Charlie's emotions.

Charlie's thoughts were angry. I got a brief vision of my face and then flashing images of his gun. This was not good.

But his voice was even when he asked Alice if we _all _be moving back. All meaning _me_. Alice did not come out and say my name directly but inferred that I would be here too.

Jasper made it down to them then.

"Well Charlie I am sure that you want to catch up with Bella." Jasper said in his calm voice. "We will be going now."

Alice was protesting in her thoughts but allowed herself to be dragged away and out the door, telling Bella she would call her. _It's going to be okay Bella! _I heard her think.

I heard suspicion in Charlie's thoughts as Bella told him to come sit in the living room.

"Ok Bells, spill it. What is going on?" He asked sternly.

"Alright, I suppose you can guess that Edward is back in town." She said tentatively.

I heard the rage and protectiveness in his thoughts when Bella told him the story we had concocted. I heard his heartbeat accelerate dangerously high before he took several breaths to calm himself.

"So you are just going to take him back after everything that happened?"

"Dad, it was as much my fault as his!" That was very much not true but I knew that it was part of the lie.

"So while he was off gallivanting in L.A. having a grand ole' time you were here walking around like a zombie and that is not his fault?"

I had several flashes of Bella from Charlie's mind at that moment. They were clearer than any thoughts I'd had from him, possibly from the depth of his emotions. The images were somewhat indistinct though clear enough to hit me like a tidal wave.

Bella being carried in a tall man's arms, covered in leaves and mud, saying 'he's gone' over and over. Bella screaming out my name in the middle of the night. Bella staring off into nothing for hours. The lifeless way she answered any question. The dead look in her eyes when she looked at Charlie.

I grabbed at my head, pulling my hair, as the images flooded into my mind. I had no idea-none whatsoever-that my leaving would do that to her. I thought that she would get over me, move on and find a way to be happy. Not completely disconnect from her life, become a "zombie" like Charlie said. How could I have underestimated her feelings so much? I had thought once that her fragile human mind would not be able to comprehend the magnitude of my love for her but I see now I was wrong. The love that she felt for me was as strong as I felt for her. And I had taken that away. I really had crushed her like she said.

Remorse filled me, flooded my mind until I was dizzy. What had I done to her? Destroyed her. Made her a shell of her usual beautiful self. How she did not hate me with every fiber of her being was beyond me.

"So are you two back together?" I heard Charlie say. He hoped we weren't but knew what Bella's answer would be before she spoke.

"Yes, we are. Dad, I know that you don't want to hear this but I love him and he loves me. Being apart was really hard on both of us." I did not know until now how hard it had really been for her.

I heard Charlie muttering under his breath. "What the hell am I going to do with these damn over-emotional teenagers?"

"Bella, please understand that I only want you to be happy. You do look better than I have seen you look in months. You have color in your face and your eyes are alive for the first time in a long time. Seeing you the way you were when he left almost broke my heart. I don't want to ever see you that unhappy ever again. I _will_ kill Edward if he ever causes you that kind of misery ever again. No one hurts my baby." Charlie's thoughts were so full of love and possessiveness for his only daughter.

Bella told him that I made her feel alive and promised him that I would not leave her again. I wouldn't, not now that I knew how horrible it was on both of us to be apart.

"Well you may not believe me but I was young once too. I fell in love with your Mom when we were just kids like you and Edward so I do know how crazy and out of control it can make you feel. But I mean it when I say he had better never do anything like this to you again. And I want to talk to him within the next few days. I have some things I want to say to him."

I had some things I wanted to say to him too. Apologies and promises I had to make.

I heard Bella ask him not to be too hard on me but in a perverse way I wanted him too. Bella had been so generous, so accepting of my foolish actions and I felt like I needed him to yell and scream at me. To completely hold me accountable for what I did.

It made no sense and complete sense to me at the same time.

"Thanks Dad. Love you." Bella whispered.

"Love ya too Bells." He replied. His thoughts were still unsettled but he did want Bella to be happy, no matter what that meant.

I heard Bella moving around the kitchen then the smell of human food cooking. I was still overwhelmed by what Charlie's memories had shown me. I replayed them in my mind, sadness filling me. I got up and stood in the corner near the window. Bella's footsteps got closer and she opened the door and came into the bedroom. I was instantly bombarded by her sweet scent. I did not deserve to be with some one so wonderful when all I did was hurt her.

I heard the door close behind her and she gasped when she saw me in the corner. I could not speak.

"Geez, you startled me. I didn't know you were going to be here. I thought you were going to come over later." She said. She walked over to me and put her arms around me.

I could not return her embrace. I was not worthy of her.

"Edward? What's wrong? Are you okay?" She looked into my eyes and I know she saw all the sadness and regret pouring out of me. She stepped back from the intensity. I still could not find my voice to speak. There was so much I wanted to say to her and I knew it still would not be enough.

"Edward, please tell me what is wrong. You are scaring me." Her voice was thick with worry. I could not bear it. I pulled her into my arms and rested my head against her soft hair. I needed her so much I could feel myself tremble.

"You have to tell me what is wrong, Edward. Please, I can't stand to see you like this. What has happened? Please, please talk to me." She said. The pleading tone of her voice forced me to speak.

"Oh, Bella." I said, my voice cracking. "Bella, I am so, so sorry. I didn't know-I mean I had no idea-I didn't expect you would-that it would be so hard on you." How could I have forced her to endure so much?

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

I pulled her over to the bed and sat down, drawing her into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair, breathing her scent in deep. I needed the calm it gave me.

"I could hear in his thoughts what you went through while I was gone. I had no idea that you would suffer so much. That I was leaving you so broken. I would never have left if I had known how much you would have to endure."

She reached up and took my face in her soft warm hands. I could see tears swimming in her eyes.

"Listen to me. You cannot keep doing this to yourself. Seeing you in pain like this hurts me more than your leaving did. You have got to stop tormenting yourself with this." She lifted her lips to mine and kissed me.

"Yes, it hurt me when you left. Yes, I was disconnected from my life for a while, until I had that accident. You feel like you are to blame and in a way you are. I am not angry about the reasons _why_ you left, only they way you did it. You only had the best of intentions. I understand that. But you have to stop this self-reproach. You feel guilty, I know that, but you have to find a way to get over it. I can't stand to see you like this."

"I deserve this pain Bella. The one thing that I never wanted to do was hurt you and in the end I hurt you more than anyone else ever could." I could hear the pain in my voice.

"And I forgive you for it Edward. Completely and wholeheartedly. You have my full and free forgiveness. I want to live in the present, not dwell in the past. We cannot move forward in our life together if we have this dragging us down."

She forgives me. My mind repeated those words over and over. She was right. There was no way we could be happy if I kept dwelling on this. I _had_ to let it go. Focus on Bella and our future together. I looked deep into her eyes. I saw complete love and trust and understanding. She was so remarkable. I smiled at my own personal angel and kissed her. She had forgiven me and now it was time to forgive myself.

"Why do you love me so much? What did I ever do to deserve you in my life?" I asked.

The smile she gave me was glorious. "I could ask you the same question."

I could only laugh and hug her to me tightly.

Bella began to unpack her new clothes and I lay down on the bed to watch her. She moved methodically, though still somewhat clumsily, back and forth between her closet and her luggage. She stopped for a moment and turned to me.

"I'm sure you know but Charlie wants to talk to you in a few days."

"I know. I am surprised that he took it so well. Even though his thoughts were still angry with me he was resigned to the fact that we are back together. I will call him tomorrow." The sooner the better I thought.

"You know, school starts in a week. Are you ready for that?" There was apprehension in her voice and it took me a moment to determine its cause. Then I realized that all our classmates would have memories of Bella from the time that we were gone. And since Alice and I were back in school it would bring all those memories to the forefront as the gossip mongers feasted on us.

"Yes, I think I can handle it. It will be hard but having you with me in all my classes will help."

She frowned. "What do you mean all of your classes? How do you know that?"

"Well, Jazz is a computer genius and he hacked into the school database and changed my schedule." I smirked at her. Jazz could do anything with computers and it had not taken much persuasion at all to get him to change my schedule.

Bella was smiling too but then I saw it fade quickly. All the blood drained from her face and fear took its place. I was immediately alarmed.

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you ok?" I could hear the frantic note in my voice.

"_All _my classes? Even Gym?" her voice squeaked.

Was that why she was alarmed?

"Well, yes. Is that a problem?"

She looked at me incredulously.

"Edward, I cannot bear to have you see me in Gym class. It is bad enough to have you watch me through everyone else while I am in there. To have you there with me would be beyond humiliating."

Was that all? I loved watching her no matter what she did. Her clumsiness only endeared her to me more.

"Bella, you are being silly." I said laughing. "I think everything you do is adorable. There is no reason to be humiliated. I think your clumsiness is endearing."

She opened her mouth to reply when her cell phone went off, indicating a new text message. She opened it up and read the message, a smile forming on her lovely lips. I leaned over and read the message.

**Jasper is changing his schedule now. He will have gym first period and you will have it last period. Knew Charlie would be ok with things. Talk to you soon! Alice.**

Damned interfering pixie!


	33. Chapter 33

Bella

Edward left the next morning around six to go home. Charlie left for work about an hour later and I was left home by myself. It was the first time I had been by myself since those few days in Rio when I was looking for Edward. I found that it felt rather good. I loved being around Edward obviously, but it sometimes took my focus away from other things. I had things that I needed to do and I neglected those things when Edward was around.

I got up and took a shower then got dressed in one of Alice's new outfits: a pair of dark jeans and light blue v-neck blouse but paired it with my favorite white sneakers. I would not surrender complete control of my wardrobe over to that tiny dictator. I had to be me, my own version of Bella, not the one that Alice wanted me to be. I looked in my now very full closet and shook my head. I had to get that girl under control or I would have to rent a room to put all my clothes in.

I went downstairs and ate a bowl of cereal while making out a shopping list. I needed to go to the store for groceries since it seemed like all Charlie had eaten while I was gone was bacon and eggs. I grabbed the list and the grocery money from the jar on top of the fridge and went outside to my truck. I jumped a little when the engine started. It had been a while since I had driven my baby and she was just as loud as ever.

I pulled into the Safeway and went inside, grabbing a cart and heading toward the meat department. After that I methodically went up and down each aisle getting everything on my list and a few "non-essentials". For some reason I was absolutely craving Gummy Bears and I threw a bag of them into the cart, laughing as I did so. I felt like a little kid.

I turned onto the baking aisle and stopped in my tracks. Jessica Stanley was standing there with her mother. Great. This was not a confrontation that I wanted to have but I knew that there would be no way to get out of this aisle without them seeing me. I turned and pretended to be enthralled with brownie mix and hoped to Hell that they would not notice me. But apparently Hell was letting it go to voicemail because at that moment they both turned and saw me.

"Bella!" Jessica squealed. Seriously, who squeals?

"Hi Jess," I said, rather unenthusiastically.

"Bella, where have you been? I haven't heard from you all summer." Jessica said.

"I was doing some volunteer work abroad, you know, to fluff out my college applications."

"Wow! Where did you go? Did you go by yourself? What did you do there?" She was firing questions off so quickly I don't think she took a breath.

"I went to Brazil, kind of all over. I went with some friends and we distributed supplies to under-privileged people." I hope that Alice and Jasper had actually done that. I even though I was prepared to use this lie I still felt guilty about it. Lying about charity work seemed so wrong.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I took it out and saw a new text message.

**We did, don't worry. And someone should tell Jessica that her shirt looks awful on her. Alice.**

I smiled and put my phone away.

"Who did you go with?" Jessica asked me, narrowing her eyes in curiosity. Alice was right. Jessica was wearing a bright yellow shirt that was all wrong for her skin tone.

"Just some friends. So how was your summer? Did you meet any hot guys?" I felt a little uncomfortable talking about boys in front of her mom but I figured it would distract her from talking about me.

"Oh yes! A bunch of us went to the beach and there were all these really good looking guys there and we all talked and-." I kind of let my mind wander as she gushed. I "wowed" and "ooh'd" and "aah'd" at the appropriate times and Jessica seemed satisfied. I looked over at Mrs. Stanley and she was looking at me oddly, almost in a predatory way. I raised my eyebrow at her and she took the opportunity to interrupt Jessica's babbling.

"So, Bella. Have you heard? The Cullen's are back in town." Her voice was syrupy and she was looking at me expectantly.

I met her eager expression with a serene smile. I had known that this question was burning in both of them and had expected it from the moment I saw them in the aisle. They were both such huge gossips and loved drama.

"Oh yes, I know." I didn't say anymore, knowing that it would eat them up inside.

"I mean, _all_ of them are back. Even Edward." Her eyes were twinkling with mischief.

"I know. I saw them all the other day." I waited. Jessica didn't make me wait long.

"Are you, you know, like, okay with that?" She asked. Her voice sounded concerned but I could detect the same predatory note in her voice.

"Of course." I smiled. I decided to let them off the hook a little. I knew that it would be better to let the gossip originate from me rather than let them make up their own stories. Though I knew that they would anyway.

I leaned in conspiratorially and looked around like I didn't want anyone to hear what I was about to say. Jessica and her mother did the same and I could feel the eagerness rolling off of them in waves.

"Now, don't tell anyone but Edward and I are back together." I whispered.

They both gasped and leaned in some more.

"We met up over the summer and worked everything out. I thought you should be the first to know Jessica." I winked at her and she smiled hugely. I knew she felt victorious at being the first one with fresh gossip.

"Wow, that's, um, great Bella. It's good that you and Edward were able to, uh, work things out." I knew that she would be disappointed that she would not be able to get her manicured claws into Edward and the thought made me smile.

"Me too Jess. And thanks, it means a lot to me that you are so supportive of Edward and me." I knew that that was laying it on a little thick but I couldn't help myself.

"Oh, yeah, sure." She said uncertainly.

"Well, I have to get some more groceries, but I will see you in school next Monday. Take care Jessica, Mrs. Stanley." I walked away, pushing my buggy past them. I could hear them whisper furiously behind me and grinned to myself. That was fun.

I paid for the groceries and headed home. I was surprised when I saw Charlie's cruiser already in the drive. It was only nine thirty in the morning. I grabbed the first load of bags and headed into the house.

"Dad?" I called out. I put the bags on the counter and looked into the living room.

"Hey, Bells." He called from the couch. "Groceries?" He asked.

"Yeah, we were getting pretty low."

He got up and helped me grab the rest of the bags from my truck. We put them all in the kitchen and he started to unload things from the bags and put them on the counter.

"Gummy Bears Bells?" He asked, laughing.

I grinned at him. "I don't know. I just wanted some."

He laughed and ruffled my hair.

"Dad, why are you home so early? I mean you were only at work for a few hours." I asked curiously.

"I went in but the guys told me to come home early. I guess they knew I wanted to spend time with you or something." He scratched the back of his head and looked a little uncomfortable, like he always did when he was talking about feelings.

"I missed you too Dad. So what do you want to do today?" He looked relieved.

"Well, that depends. If you want to stay in we can watch a movie or something. If you want to go out, I thought about taking you fishing with me, like we did when you were little. I mean, if you want to…" He trailed off.

I thought it was so sweet that Charlie wanted to share his favorite hobby with me. I remembered fishing with him when I was little. The excitement when I got a bite, Charlie helping me reel in my catch, the proud look on his face when I held up the first fish I ever caught.

"That sounds great Dad. Let me change my clothes and make us some lunch to take and you can get the gear and stuff. We can take my truck."

Charlie beamed, his eyes twinkling.

Thirty minutes later we were driving in my truck towards Charlie's favorite fishing spot. I had changed into some old clothes that Alice had somehow missed getting rid of and made us some sandwiches and a thermos of sweet tea. Charlie loaded up my truck and I let him drive since I didn't know where his fishing hole was. We traveled out of town and drove to a small lake surrounded by trees. The sky was still cloudy of course but it was pleasantly warm and there was a nice breeze blowing, ruffling the surface of the lake.

"This is really pretty, Dad." I said and Charlie grinned.

"Yeah, and the fish bite pretty well here too." He said. He seemed happier and more relaxed than I had seen him in a while and I understood now why he loved to come here so much. Life seemed less complicated when you were fishing.

We spent the next several hours fishing, taking a break around noon to eat the sandwiches. Charlie caught six good sized fish and I caught four. We spent much of the time sitting quietly, enjoying each other's company without having to speak much. Charlie laughed at me when I used rubber worms rather than live bait, telling me that I had not changed since I was little. Apparently I didn't like using worms when I was little either. It just seemed cruel to me.

It was almost five thirty in the afternoon when we decided to leave. We were almost home when Charlie spoke.

"Bells, what do you think about going over to Billy's instead of going home? I am sure that he would love to share these fish with us."

"Sure Dad sounds good to me. I haven't seen Billy in a while. Let's go."

Charlie smiled and we turned down the road leading to the Quileute reservation.

I looked down and saw my cell phone resting on the seat. I realized that I had turned it off and left it in the truck while we were fishing. I turned it back on and it immediately rang. I looked at the caller ID and flipped it open.

"Hi Alice. What's up?"

"Bella! Oh Bella, are you okay? Where are you? What are you doing?" Her voice sounded anxious. I heard muffled crashes and curses on her end.

"My Dad and I went fishing today and we are on our way to a friend's house to share our catch with them. What's wrong?" Alice almost never sounded this apprehensive.

I could feel Charlie's eyes on me as I spoke on the phone.

"Bella, I was so worried. You know I wasn't _trying_ to watch you but I am in tune with you so much and a few minutes ago your whole future disappeared. Completely. It just went black. Edward is frantic with worry. Emmett is holding him down to keep him from doing something foolish while I am talking to you. We needed to make sure you were okay before he took off. Where are you going, specifically?"

"La Push". What could make me disappear from Alice's vision?

"Hmmm." She said. "Well that complicates things. We are not allowed down there."

I suddenly remembered Jacob telling me about the "cold ones" so long ago. Of course the Cullens would not be allowed there.

"Let me talk to him please, Alice." If Edward was as worried as she said I needed him to know that I was okay.

"Alright, here he is." I heard muffled movements and Alice's voice in the background though I couldn't make out her words.

"-mmit Emmett! Let me go! Bella? Bella are you okay? I have been calling you and texting you all day! Why didn't you answer? Where are you? Are you alright?" He was breathing heavily and his voice was frantic.

"I'm fine, calm down Edward." I said, shooting a nervous glance at Charlie. He was pretending not to pay attention and I was glad.

"Charlie and I were fishing and I left my phone in the truck. We are heading over to La Push to have dinner with Billy and Jacob. Everything is okay." I was trying to make him calm down. Edward always overreacted when he was worried.

"Alice can't see your future and I can't come down there to make sure your safe. Please, don't go. Come over to my house instead. I need to know that you are safe." His voice was pleading and anxious and I heard Emmett's low murmur in the background.

I knew he was worried about Alice's vision but I couldn't bail out on my Dad. Especially when he was being so calm about Edward and me.

"I can't do that. We are already here." I saw Billy's house in the distance. "I am with my Dad. I will be perfectly fine. I have my phone with me now. You can text me every half hour if you need to. We should only be here for a few hours. Then I will come see you, okay?" I made my voice as calm and confident as I could. I couldn't back out on my Dad now. And I didn't need Edward to do something rash while I was here. I knew that Billy knew what the Cullens were and I didn't need him bringing up anything to Charlie.

"Please, Bella. Please, please, please be careful. I can't live without you, not again. Please just take care of yourself and stay close to Charlie. I know he can protect you. I will be texting you every half hour. And call me the minute you are off the reservation. Please. I love you. Please just be safe." His voice was so heartbreaking I could feel the tears prick my eyes.

"I will, I promise. I love you too. Try not to worry. We are here. I have to go."

"I love you Bella. Please just be safe and come back to me."

"I will. I love you. Bye."

"Bye my love." I hung up. Charlie was pulling up in front of the house. He turned off the truck and looked over at me. Here we go.

"So what was that all about Bells?" He was frowning.

"Well, Alice was wondering where I was. Apparently she and Edward were calling me today but since my phone was in the truck they couldn't get in touch with me. They were both just worried about me." That was putting it mildly.

"And I'm guessing that Edward wanted you to come home?" He was looking at me skeptically.

"He was just worried, Dad. He is one of those worry-wart types. He just wanted to make sure that I was safe." I felt bad talking about Edward like that, even if it was true.

"Well I am glad that he is worried about your safety, but remember that you have a mind of your own. He is not the boss of you." Charlie was in lecture mode.

"I know that Dad. I have already had that talk with him. We both agreed that we have to make decisions equally in our relationship."

"Good for you then. You have a good head on your shoulders Bella and you have always made good decisions. Just keep on making them."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Dad. I will. I know I mess up but I do _try_ to make good choices."

"I know Bells. Just keep it up. Now come on, let's get these fish into the house. Billy is looking at us like we are crazy." I looked over and saw Billy hovering in the doorway in his wheelchair.

"Okay, you go in. I need to check my messages real quick." Charlie nodded and got out of the truck. He grabbed the pail from the back of the truck and headed towards the front door.

I looked at my phone. I had six missed calls and seven text messages. My voicemail said I had six new messages. I read the text messages first.

**(A/N: Bold is Edward, **_**bold italic is Alice**_**.)**

**Good morning my love. I hope you rested well. I cannot wait until I can hold you in my arms again. E**

**Are you still sleeping? Know that I am thinking about you. Please call me when you wake up? E**

**Bella, where are you? I came by the house but you are gone. I hope you are alright. Please call me. E**

_**Bella I told Edward that you are with your Dad fishing but he is still worried. Please call him. A**_

**Alice told me that you were with your Dad. Can you call me please? I just want to hear your voice. E**

_**He is going crazy here Bella. Just call him for a moment. Your Dad will understand I promise. A**_

_**Bella! Where are you? I can't see you anymore! Call me please! A**_

**Bella! Please, please, please call me! Alice said your future disappeared and she can't see you anymore. Please call me E**

_**Bella, why won't you answer your phone? Edward and I have called and left messages. We need to know that you are okay! Call us please. A **_

The voicemail messages were much the same. Two were from Alice and four were from Edward. His voice became more and more frenzied with each message. He begged me to call him, telling me that he loved me over and over again. It was heartbreaking to hear his voice so worried. I deleted the messages and closed my phone. I jumped when I heard a tap on my window. Jacob was standing there, grinning at me.

I opened the door and got out.

"Hi, Jacob." I said, smiling.

"Hiya Bells! How are you?" He said, smiling wide.

"Great, I just spent the day fishing with my Dad. What have you been up to?" I noticed that I had to look up at him when I spoke. He looked even taller now than when I had seen him at prom.

"Still working on my Rabbit. I got my parts and she should be running pretty soon." He said proudly. "Wanna see her?" He asked eagerly. I laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Sure."

We walked to the garage and he proudly showed me his car. I could feel the pride radiating off of him and smiled at him indulgently when he started to describe the things he'd had to do with the engine. I had no idea what he was talking about but nodded my head in faux understanding anyway.

"And she'll be done pretty soon. Maybe I could take you out in it when I'm done." He said eagerly.

"Sure, why not Jacob." I shrugged. He was a nice kid and so proud of his work.

"So," he hesitated. I looked at him with a raised brow. "So, I hear that the-uh-the Cullens are back in town." He looked at me apologetically.

I smiled. "Yes I know. And before you start to feel bad for bringing it up, Edward and I are back together."

His face turned red for a moment. I saw him clenching and unclenching his fists.

"You took him back?! After him leaving you in the woods like that you just took him back? What the hell were you thinking Bella?" He asked angrily. I narrowed my eyes.

"First of all Jacob, what I do and who I am with is none of your concern. You barely even know me! You have no right to be angry! Secondly, and I am tired of having to repeat this over and over, he did _not_ leave me in the woods. When he walked away we were standing in view of the house. I went after him and got lost. Period. End of story. The breakup a misunderstanding anyway. And none of your business!" I turned to walk back into the house. Who did he think he was?!

Jacob jumped in front of me before I could take more than a few steps.

"Bells, I'm sorry!" He looked contrite but I was still seething. "I really am sorry. I should never have brought it up. I was just worried about your reaction to knowing they were back. From what Charlie told Dad you were in bad shape and I was worried about you, you know."

I felt some of my anger leave me. Yelling at Jacob was not the way to settle this.

"Its okay, Jacob. I appreciate that you were worried but I am fine. I know what I am doing."

He looked skeptical but let it drop.

"So, you want to go for a walk on the beach before dinner?" He asked.

"Sure." I hadn't been down to the beach in a long time and was looking forward to it.

We walked in companionably up and down the beach. We talked about Billy and Jacob's sisters and his school. I told him about some of the people at Forks High and he laughed when I described Mike and Jessica to him, calling them clueless dweebs. I noticed that it was getting darker and then I heard Billy calling us into the house and we trudged back to the front door.

My phone buzzed while we were walking.

**I'm sorry if I worried you earlier. I panicked when I could not reach you and Alice could not see you. I told you I was overprotective. I just want you to be safe. I love you, Edward.**

His overprotective streak was sweet. I knew he was worried because he could not be here with me to keep me safe but thankful that he understood I needed to spend time with Charlie too. I replied back quickly and went into the house.

Billy and Jacob's house was small but clean. There was a comfortable looking couch and recliner in the living room. The entire atmosphere was warm and inviting. The television was on in the background, tuned to the sports channel of course. Charlie was sitting on the couch talking to Billy when we came in.

"Hey Bells." Charlie said, looking back and forth between Jacob and me, "what happened to you?" I could see the hope in his eyes as he eyed Jacob. No way, I thought, but just rolled my eyes.

"Jacob was showing me his car. He has put a lot of work into it. So, who is going to clean those fish so I can cook them up?" I was eager to turn the conversation to something more casual. I knew my dad has a problem with Edward but I did not want him to start pushing Jacob at me.

Jacob volunteered to clean the fish and I filleted them when he was done. I rolled them in some of what my dad called "Harry Clearwater's Famous Fish Fry" and put them in the pan to cook. I made a simple rice dish and some vegetables to go with it. I was setting the table when my phone buzzed again. I knew without looking that it was Edward. He was nothing if not punctual.

**Still pining for your return but trying to be patient. How is dinner? Edward**

I replied and then called everyone in to eat. Billy and Charlie complimented me on my cooking, which of course made me blush. Billy kept us entertained with stories about locals and we all laughed and had a good time. It was very comfortable there and I was relaxed. Jacob reminded Billy about a bonfire they were having the next weekend and Charlie told him that we would both be there.

Jacob and I cleaned up the kitchen after dinner and I noticed how late it was getting to be. From the frantic phone calls and text messages I had gotten before I knew that there was a lot to talk about once I got to the Cullen's house.

"Dad, do you think it would be okay to spend the night with Alice tonight? She wants to have an all-girl sleepover."

"Sure Bells. Tell her I said hi." He was relaxed and happy after our day together and I was glad that we'd had some father/daughter time.

"Thanks Dad."

Edward sent me another text and I replied back quickly. I noticed that it had been longer than thirty minutes since his last text.

_**You're late young man! I hope you have an excuse from your mother! =) I am going to be leaving here soon. Charlie said that it was alright to spend the night. See you soon. B**_

We all drifted to the living room and I saw a game come on. They were all engrossed, talking about their favorite players and stats and I took that as my cue to leave.

"Dad, I am going to get going if that's okay? Do you want me to take you home or come and get you in the morning?" The next day was Saturday and I knew he would want to go fishing again.

Billy spoke up. "Don't worry about it Bella, I'll make sure he gets home in the morning." I smiled my thanks.

I walked over and kissed Charlie on the head. "'Night Dad."

"Night Bells."

I waved to Billy and Jacob and walked out to my truck, dialing Edward's number. He answered on the first ring.

"Bella?" His tone was anxious.

"Hi, Edward. Are you okay?" I could almost picture him wearing a hole in the floor, hand raking through his hair.

"I'm fine Bella. Are you alright?" He asked concern evident in his voice.

"Of course. I took a walk on the beach and we all ate dinner. I managed to get out of there because a game came on and they were all so engrossed." I giggled. If not for the game, Charlie might have thought of an objection to me spending the night. Thank goodness for ESPN, I thought.

I got in my truck and started the engine, cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear as I backed out of the drive and onto the street.

"Look, I don't want you to drive one handed so I am going to hang up. I will see you in a few minutes."

I looked down at myself and cringed. I was wearing a baggy flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of cutoff jean shorts. My shoes were dirty and I knew I smelled like I had spent the whole day fishing. Which I had. I felt self conscious about him seeing me all dirty like this.

"I should really shower and change before I come over, Edward. I'm a mess."

"No!" he said loudly. "I mean, no, you can shower here. Alice still has plenty of clothes for you to wear here." he paused. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just want to see you as soon as possible."

He sounded so concerned I gave in. "Alright. I'll head that way then. See you soon. I love you." He would just have to take me as I was.  
"I love you too. See you soon. Be careful." I could almost hear his admonishment to drive safely in my head.

"I will, bye."

"Bye my love."

I drove carefully down the now darkened streets, almost missing Edward's long driveway. The whole house was lit up when I drove up to it and I saw everyone standing on the porch or in the open doorway. They must have really been worried about me.

Edward came running off the porch as soon as I drove up and flashed over to my door. He yanked it open and hauled me out, pulling me flush against his chest. He buried his head in my hair, taking a deep breath and I felt him tremble in my arms.

"Shh. It's okay baby. I'm here. I'm okay. It's going to be alright." I cooed. I could feel the stress pouring off of him.

"I was so scared." He whispered into my hair. "I didn't know where you were or of you were alright. I couldn't be there to protect you if something happened. I never want to feel that helpless again. I love you so much." His voice was agitated.

"I love you too. Let's go inside so I can find out what is going on." I released him and turned towards the house. He kept his hand on my waist. I wanted to get inside and figure out what was happening. It had to be serious if he was so upset.

Alice came down the stairs and hugged me as I walked up.

"Bella I am so glad I can see you again. I was so shocked and worried. That has never happened before. I am so glad you are okay." She said.

"I'm fine Alice, I promise. But I am curious to hear what has happened. Why couldn't you see me before but now you can?" I had never heard of Alice having a problem with her visions and was curious about what could have caused it.

I saw her look at Edward meaningfully.

"Let's talk about it in the house." He said and we walked up the stairs and into the house.

Everyone sat down in the living room. Edward and I sat on the loveseat. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, threading his long graceful fingers through my hair. He reached out with his other hand to hold mine, his thumb tracing soft circles across the back of my hand.

"So, what happened Alice? You said you couldn't see me anymore. What does that mean?" I asked.

"Well, like I said I am really in tune with you and I had been kind of been keeping tabs on you all day for Edward." She sounded guilty and I waved away her discomfort. I had expected him to ask her anyway. She smiled at me in thanks.

"Anyway, all of a sudden it was like someone turned out all the lights. One second you were riding in the truck with Charlie and the next you were gone. It was just black. I have never had that happen to me before." I knew how much Alice's visions were a part of her and I could only imagine the terror she must have felt.

I was not sure how La Push entered into this equation though.

"And you think it has something to do with me being on the reservation?" I asked.

"We are not entirely sure what caused it." Edward said. "Though it seems that when you merge your future with the Quileute's that your future is lost."

"Oh. But why now? I mean, I've been down to La Push since I've known you all and this has never happened before. That you told me about anyway." I looked at Alice and she shook her head.

"So what's changed now?" I asked. I was met by silence and was immediately suspicious. I looked at everyone carefully before turning my gaze to Edward.

"What? What are you not telling me?"

"There is nothing to worry about Bella. We are just not one hundred percent sure of what is going on." Edward said. I could tell that he was not telling me everything.

"What do you _think_ is going on then?" I was wary, watching him for tell tale signs of lying.

He just shook his head. "We have to do some research. Until then it is nothing to worry about."

I had heard those words before. He never wanted to tell me something if he thought that is was dangerous or upsetting. He always wanted to treat me like a china doll.

"Nothing to worry about…" I said. "So there is something going on but you are not going to tell me?" My voice was flat. I knew that there was more.

I looked around into the inscrutable faces of my vampire family. I scanned each of their faces in turn until I reached Esme. It was only for a moment but I saw a flash of guilt on her face. I sucked in a breath. I knew it. I knew there was something they were not telling me. I decided to ask outright.

"So there is nothing to worry about?" I spoke carefully, praying he would tell me the truth.

He shook his head. "No."

"And there is nothing you want to tell me? Nothing I should be aware of?" I looked at him carefully. Please tell me the truth, I thought.

"No, everything is fine."

He was lying. I knew it in every particle of my being. He would not have been so upset if it was nothing. And his family was going along with it. They knew what was going on as well but refused to tell me.

I felt betrayed. They were supposed to be my family. I felt more at home with them than I did with my Mom and Dad and they were lying to me. They never kept anything back from each other, not important things anyway. And Edward and Alice's behavior told me this was something important. Something they did not want to tell me. Something they did not trust me with. I made up my mind.

"Hmmm, well okay then." I said with feigned indifference. I pulled my hand from Edwards and stood up. "I will just be going then." I turned towards the door abruptly. I was furious.

"Wait-no-I thought you were staying the night?" Edwards's voice was shocked and puzzled.

I spun towards him, my anger suddenly spilling forth.

"That is when I thought I was going to be staying with my family. You all obviously do not think of me the same way I think of you so I am leaving." I spat.

I read the shock on everyone's face before they all started speaking.

"Of course you are our family." Esme said, her voice strained.

"You and I are sisters Bella!" Alice's voice cried out.

"Don't do something rash." Jasper said his voice calm and reasonable.

"Bella we love you." Emmett said, sounding like a whiny child.

I held up my hand to stop them and the room fell silent.

"How can I be real family if you are all lying to me, whether by words or silence? You have no secrets from each other but you are clearly keeping something from me." I was hurt. Did they think I would not be able to handle it?

"Bella-." Edward said but I stopped him.

"I know you are not telling me the truth. Maybe all of your lying skills work better on strangers, people who don't know you, but I _do _know all of you and I can tell you are all keeping something from me. So tell me what it is or I am going home." To the untrained eye they would look perfectly innocent but I had been around them enough to know when they were not being truthful with me. They were going to tell me, I would accept nothing less. I crossed my arms and glared at Edward.

He opened his hands wide and spoke to me in a tone clearly meant to placate me.

"Bella, it is for your own good that you don't know."

I gasped at his words. "For my own good?!" I yelled. I was furious.

I was so tired of him telling what was best for _me_. Everything was "for my own good" but I was never consulted. He acted on his own desires and then told me it was for me, to protect me. I was not going to have that anymore. I was tired of being treated like a child dammit!

"We talked about this Edward. About making decisions together. Remember? Partners? Equals? How can we be together if you don't trust me?" If he didn't trust me to know my own mind how could we have a real relationship?

"Of course I trust you! I trust you with my life!" He sounded indignant. But that was not the type of trust I meant. I would never hurt him or knowingly cause him pain. He could trust that. But if he could not trust me to make good decisions we had nowhere to go.

"You don't trust me enough Edward. You don't trust me enough to tell me the truth. You don't think I can deal with it so you just decided not to tell me. You are doing it again! Making decisions about my life without even talking to me about it. I am not sure what it is you are keeping from me this time but I do know you don't think I am strong enough to handle it."

"I am just trying to protect you." He said but I was tired of being so coddled all the time.

"You cannot wrap me up in bubble wrap Edward. Guess what? Life is unpleasant sometimes. There are things out there that might shock me or hurt me or disrupt my life. But it is far better to deal with them head on than to be blindsided by them later. You're not telling me what is going on now to protect me. But what if I am hurt by that very thing because you didn't trust me enough to let me deal with it?"

He was silent and I could tell that I had shocked him.

He was quiet for a moment before dropping his head in defeat and sighing.

"Your right, of course. I'm sorry. It's just that you mean so much to me and the thought of something distressing you hurts me. I can't bear to see you under any kind of stress."

"I understand that Edward, but stress is a natural part of life, human or vampire. There is no escaping it. You have to believe in me, believe that I can handle it. If you don't see me as your equal there is no way we can be together. I may not have vampire abilities but I would like to think that by now you realize that I am not some shrinking violet. I can handle whatever it is. You have to trust me enough to believe that. You have to have faith that I can make good decisions. _You have to have faith in me._"

I knew that it would take time for Edward to see that I was capable of making my own decisions. Old habits died hard and it would take time. But I had to begin as I meant to go on and I was not going to be excluded from parts of his life because he thought me incapable of handling it.

He was quiet again before looking up at me with a slight deprecating smile.

"When did you become so much smarter than me?"

I felt lips quirk in an answering smile. I hoped I was getting through to him.

"I always have been." I said smugly.

He smiled softly. Yes, I think you have. I'm sorry Bella. I think protecting you is so ingrained in me that it is my first instinct, even if that instinct is wrong. I am only just starting to understand how strong a person you are, though I should have realized it long ago. I do have faith in you, I really do. It is just such a struggle; protecting you and letting you go at the same time."

I felt my anger dissipate. I knew he was trying. I knew he feared for my safety and happiness above all things. I would have to find as much patience as I could to deal with his over protectiveness.

"Edward, look at me." He lifted his head and stared into my eyes.

"I know that you only want what is best for me. But we _did_ talk about this. You can want what's best for me, but acting on it without talking to me first is wrong. We can handle anything that comes as long as it is together, remember?"

He suddenly reached forward and pulled me to him. He rested his head in the crook of my neck and let out a shuddering breath. I pushed my fingers through his hair and held him to me.

"Together, always." He said reverently.

I leaned back and placed my hands on either side of his face.

"Now we are going to sit down and you are going to tell me exactly what is going on." I made my voice as stern as possible. He was going to tell me what was happening. I kissed him softly to let him know that I was not angry with him anymore. I just needed him to understand that I would not be excluded.

We turned back to the couch and I realized that his family had never left the room. They had been so quiet during our whole exchange and I had forgotten they were there. My face burned but I was not ashamed. They needed to know that I was either a full member of this family or nothing. We walked back to the couch and sat down. I turned my body to face Edward.

"Now, tell me. What is going on?"

Edward inhaled deeply.

"How much do you know about the Quileute legends?"

"Not much really. Jacob Black told me about the legend of the Cold Ones and about all of you. He mentioned something about their descendants but it has been a while and I don't remember what he said." I remembered that walk on the beach so long ago but I had only been focused on what he could tell me about the Cullens.

"Well, according to tribal legend they are descendant from wolves. What most of the tribe doesn't know it that the legends are true." He paused.

I was confused. "You mean they _are_ descendant from wolves? What does that mean?"

"It means that they _are_ wolves, some of them anyway." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Wolves? Like, real wolves? So…that means they are what? Werewolves or something?" I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me.

"Or something." He said.

I was shocked. Werewolves? How is that possible?

"Really? Werewolves? The whole howling at the moon, silver bullet kind of werewolves?" The only thing I knew about werewolves I had learned from the movies.

Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"Those are Hollywood versions of werewolves Bella. And we don't think that they are werewolves in the truest sense of the word. These wolves are what you would call shape shifters. I think the choice of wolves is arbitrary. They could have morphed into kittens or elephants. But somehow they chose wolf form." He paused again.

Wolves. Werewolves. I guess if you believe in vampires you can believe in werewolves. And I had plenty of proof of the existence of vampires. I wondered idly when the unicorns were showing up but did not voice it aloud.

"So members of the Quileutes are werewolves? Why now?" I thought that if they had always been here I would never have been allowed to La Push. So they must be new arrivals.

"What do you mean dear?" Esme asked.

"Well it seems like this is a new development. So why are they shape shifting now? What is different now? And how do you know about them in the first place if you are not allowed on La Push? Does this have anything to do with the treaty thing you were talking about?" I was alight with curiosity.

"We don't know what is causing them to shift now. Something recent it seems has caused that dormant gene to kick in." Carlisle said. "The treaty you mentioned was enacted seventy years ago. Edward, Rose, Emmett and I were here and stumbled onto their tribal lands. They had all heard legends of us and so knew instinctively what we were. I was able to convince them that we meant no harm to the humans here and so we made a treaty. As long as we stayed clear of La Push and did not harm any humans they would not reveal us. The leader at that time was a man named Ephraim Black."

Black. It clicked in my head then. Jacob had spoken of his great-grandfather and how he had been Chief of their tribe.

"So he was Jacob's great grandfather? That makes sense. Billy knew what you were. I convinced him not to tell Charlie. But I was always surprised that he believed the legends so much but I can see how he would now."

I remembered the conversation in my kitchen so long ago. I had always wondered how he knew so much about the Cullens and vampires. I had my answer now.

Suddenly the absurdity of the situation hit me. Edward had been worried about protecting me from mythical creatures when he was just as mythical as they were. I giggled. Then I started to laugh. A lot. The confused expression on Edwards face only fueled my laughter.

"W-w-werewolves? Seriously?" I giggled. "You were worried about telling me about werewolves? Edward," I could only shake my head, laughing. "I spend most of my day hanging around vampires and a good portion of my time kissing one. Do you really think I would not be able to handle hearing about another mythical creature?"

Edward paused for a moment then joined in my laughter, as well as the rest of the family.

"I guess I should have realized that you would not be afraid like a _normal_ human." He said. His face turned serious after a moment.

"But Bella, these werewolves are dangerous. This is not like a movie. These wolves can change instantly, at will and are ruled by their emotions. If you are too close to them when they morph it can be dangerous or deadly. Please understand that." His eyes pleaded with me to understand.

I knew he only had my safety at heart. And I really didn't want to be killed by a werewolf anyway. So it served _both_ of our interests for me to stay away from them. I nodded at him solemnly so he knew I understood he was serious.

"I understand. And it _is_ better that you told me now. Jacob invited me to a bonfire next week and-." I stopped him when he would have interrupted. "And now that I know about the wolves I am going to tell him I can't come." He nodded at me and I could see the relief on his face.

"I do have _some _sense of self-preservation you know. And besides that it worries the hell out of you. That is not something I want to do to you. I have no real reason to go down there anyway unless it is with Charlie so it is not a hardship not to."

He pulled me towards him and held me against his chest.

"Thank you." He whispered fervently in my ear.

I giggled at pulled back to look him in the eyes.

"See how much better it is to tell me the truth to begin with?" I laughed and so did everyone else.

It was going to be a hard road but I would not be left out again.


	34. Chapter 34

Edward

I left Bella's house early the next morning. I kissed her briefly before slipping out the window. I wanted to spend the day with her but I had things of my own that I needed to do. Hunting was one of them. Spending so much time with Bella meant that I had to hunt more often. Even though I did not feel the familiar bloodlust my throat still burned if I spent too much time around her without hunting. I ran to the forest and took down two elk and a deer.

Afterwards I sat on a large boulder and looked out into the forest. I could not believe how much calmer I felt after talking to Bella last night. She had forgiven me for leaving her, for hurting her. Now I was working on forgiving myself. Could I do it? Could I forgive myself for causing her so much pain? I knew that I had to, that I had to find a way to get past this. I knew that it was the only way that Bella and I could move forward. I was unsure of where to start though. I decided that I needed to talk to someone. And that someone was Carlisle.

I ran back to the house and changed my clothes. I sent Bella a text message, figuring that she was probably asleep and would read it when she woke up. I got in my Volvo and drove to the hospital. I walked in through the double doors and searched until I could hear my father's thoughts. He was in his office. Perfect.

I knocked though I knew he heard me outside the door.

"Come in."

I opened the door and saw him closing a manila folder on his desk, a patient's file.

"Hello Edward. What can I do for you?" He asked.

"I need some advice Carlisle."

_Of course, son. What is the problem?_

"It's about Bella. Well, about Bella and me." I hesitated.

_I'm listening._

I sat down on his soft leather couch and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Well, Bella and I were talking last night and she told me that she forgives me for leaving her and hurting her so badly."

_That is excellent son. She is a wonderful girl._

"I know. She told me that I need to forgive myself for what I did but I just don't know how to go about it. I have hurt her so much. How can I forgive myself for that, ever?"

_Edward, I am sure that Bella has told you this, but you cannot torture yourself with this forever. Especially since forever for you is a really long time._ He smiled slightly.

I nodded. She had told me that.

_Yes, you hurt her when you left. You made a decision that hurt you both. You can't take that decision back. But you can try to see the good in it._

"Good? What possible good did it do? We were both completely miserable, Carlisle."

_Consider the changes in the relationship since you have gotten back together. Bella seems stronger, more confident in herself and you. You have finally started to realize that she loves you as much as you love her. She is standing up for herself in your relationship, not allowing you to make all the decisions but instead becoming an active partner with you. You understand now that you cannot make rash decisions that affect you both without discussing it with her. You _both_ understand how much you mean to each other now that you have had this time apart. You _both_ understand that neither of you is whole without the other. This separation has made your relationship stronger._

I sat and stared at him. Everything he had said was the truth.

"But I hurt her so much Carlisle. I can't ignore that."

_No, but you can decide to let it go. You can decide that what you have with Bella now is more important than tormenting yourself with the past. And it _is_ the past Edward. It has to be. Carrying it around in your pocket now will only poison your relationship. It will infiltrate every corner of your lives together. If all you can see is the pain you caused in the past you will miss all the joy you two can have together in the present and in the future. Is that what you want?_

"No, of course not. But how do I let it go?" I had no idea what to do.

_Just be with Bella now. In the present. There will always be reminders for both you and Bella. But instead of wallowing in misery when they happen, use them instead to remind yourself of how much happier and stronger you both are now that you are back together. Think of them as positive reinforcement._

Could I do that? Could I just decide to be happy now, right now, with Bella? I thought about it for a moment. Yes. Yes, I could. My relationship with Bella now was too important. I could not hurt her more by continuing to torment myself with this. Especially since she had forgiven me so completely. Not forgiving myself when she asked me to would be throwing her forgiveness back in her face. I could not do that to her. I made up my mind. No matter what happened now I would not allow the past to hurt our future.

I saw my face in Carlisle's thoughts, saw the fierce determination there.

_I can see that you have made up your mind Edward and I am glad. You both deserve to be happy now. We cannot change the past but we can learn from it. Use your past experiences to make the future stronger. I know you can do this. And I am always here to talk if you need it._

I stood up and took Carlisle in a hug. He was startled at first but quickly hugged me back.

"Thank you Carlisle. Thank you so much."

_Anytime son, anytime._

I drove back home feeling like a mountain had been lifted from my shoulders. Carlisle always knew the right things to say. I hoped that I would one day have even a little of his wisdom.

I realized as I drove up to my house that Bella had not responded to my text. She must be more tired than I thought. I sent her another message, asking her to call me when she woke up.

I went inside and saw Emmett and Jasper playing video games. I decided to play with them for a while until Bella called me. I missed the camaraderie with my brothers.

I sat and waited my turn. They were playing Mario Kart. Jasper was winning. He was using his gift to manipulate Emmett. Just when they were reaching the finish line he would send a wave of confusion and frustration at Emmett, causing him to falter and Jasper would speed past him and win. Emmett spouted some rather imaginative curse words until Esme called down from her study, reminding him about language. I took over from Emmett. Jasper and I were pretty evenly matched. He tried to block his thoughts from me but I knew his playing style and could pretty much determine what he would do. He tried to distract me by sending waves of frustration towards me but I grit my teeth and ignored it as best as possible. When he could see that was not working he tried a different tactic.

Suddenly I was hit square between the eyes by a tidal wave of lust. It slammed into me, forcing me to jerk back and lose my grip on the game controller for a moment. It was enough for Jasper to cross the finish line a few seconds ahead of me. I dropped the controller and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I felt completely out of control and harder than I had ever been in my life. My body felt like it was thrumming with sexual tension.

"Dammit Jasper! That was completely uncalled for." Jasper was laughing uproariously.

"Hey it worked didn't it?" He was still laughing.

_Maybe you should go find Bella to help you take care of that "situation" Edward. _Jasper thought.

"Paybacks a bitch Jasper, remember that." Jasper only laughed harder.

I sat there for a few more minutes until I felt under control and went upstairs to my room. I checked my phone. Bella had still not called me. That was strange. She was usually very prompt in returning messages or calling me. I decided to go over and see her. Charlie should be at work.

I quickly showered and changed my clothes. I ran over to her house quickly and saw Charlie's cruiser in the yard. Bella's truck was gone. I could hear no movement in the house. I decided to brave Charlie's anger and knocked on the door. Nothing. I called Bella's phone and it went straight to voicemail.

"Bella? Where are you, love? I came by the house but your truck is gone? Are you with Charlie? Please call me when you get this. I miss you. I love you. Bye."

I sent her a text as well, asking her to call me.

I ran back home and realized that I could have asked Alice all along where Bella was.

I went upstairs and saw her sitting on her bed, reading a magazine.

"Alice, do you know where Bella is? I have called her and texted her but she isn't answering."

Alice closed her eyes for a moment and her face went blank. I saw vision in her mind, Bella in an old flannel shirt and cutoff shorts, holding a fishing pole. She was sitting next to a lake with Charlie. Alice opened her eyes and looked at me.

"She went fishing with Charlie. I don't recognize the area. They are having a good time. You should let them be."

"Thanks Alice. I was just worried because she hasn't gotten back to me and that is not like her." I knew that she was safe with Charlie but it was still hard to have to share her.

I walked out of the room and headed to my bedroom. I sent Bella another text telling her I missed her voice. I knew I was overreacting, texting so much but I missed her.

I sat in my room and listened to music for a while. It did not calm me the way I wanted so I went downstairs and sat at my piano. I tried to play but the notes were not coming out right. Everything sounded so harsh and impatient, not the soothing notes I needed. I called Bella's phone again. It went to voicemail again and I left another message.

"Bella please call me. I haven't talked to you all day and I miss you terribly. I am going crazy here. Call me. I love you. Bye."

I was restless, wandering around the house aimlessly. I could see that it was getting later in the afternoon and Bella had not called. Alice reassured me that she still saw them fishing and that they would head home soon. I was anxious to see her again. I could feel the same impatience welling in me that I'd had when Alice had taken Bella shopping. That same almost out of control feeling I'd had because she was not near me, because I did not know where she was or how she was doing.

I was sitting in the living room with Alice, Jasper and Emmett when I heard Alice gasp. We all looked at her and she had a horrified expression on her face.

"What is it baby?" Jasper asked. He took her hands in his. "What do you see?"

"Nothing." Was Alice's whispered reply.

_That's not true_, Jasper thought. "I know you saw something; I can feel your anxiety. What was it?" he said.

I looked into Alice's head but all I saw was black. She was concentrating on that blackness but could not see past it.

"No, I mean it went blank. I can't see her future. It's gone." She whispered.

Her future? Bella? Blank? What did that mean? What was happening to Bella?

I jumped up. "Did you see something about Bella, Alice? What happened? Why can't you see?" I was standing in front of her, my hands fisted at my sides. I could feel the panic welling in me.

_Let her figure it out!_ Jasper thought angrily. I nodded to him and unclenched my fists. I stepped away from Alice and Jasper took her in his arms, trying to comfort her as best as possible.

"I don't know Edward. I saw them driving home then it went blank. I would have seen if they were in an accident or something. This was different. It was like someone turned the light out. It was just black." He voice wavered in distress.

_What is wrong? Why can't I see her? Is there something wrong with me? _Alice thought.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Bella call me! Your future went blank. I can't see you. Call me when you get this."

She hung up and was furiously texting as well.

I called Bella's cell and got her voicemail.

"Bella please, please call me. Alice can't see your future anymore. I need to know that you are okay. I love you. Please call. I love you.

I sent her a text as well. Why didn't she answer?! It was beyond maddening!

Alice was scrolling through her visions, trying to see Bella but there was nothing. I called her one more time, frantic, but could only leave her a message telling her how much I loved her. Jasper held Alice, trying to calm her disquiet. I could see the strain of our anxiety etched on his face. Emmett sat quietly explaining to Rose, who had just come in from the garage, what was going on. I was torn. I wanted to leave immediately, drive or run until I had covered every square mile until I found her. But I had to stay here; I needed to know if Alice's visions returned. I could not risk being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I needed answers.

I was pacing back and forth at vampire speed. I heard Alice speak to Emmett quietly but was too agitated to listen properly. I wanted to go search for her but I had no idea where to look. Alice's vision of them in the truck was too generic for me to be able to determine where they were. Nothing but trees and roadway. That could be anywhere in Forks or the surrounding area.

I heard Alice pull out her phone again and she dialed a number at vampire speed. When she heard it ring she turned to Emmett. "Now." She said.

Before I could decipher what she meant I felt a pair of very strong arms come around me. Emmett had grabbed me from behind.

"What the hell are you doing Emmett? Let me go." I was infuriated. What was he thinking?

"Sorry, bro. Alice said that you might try something stupid and that I needed to grab onto you." He sounded apologetic. _We know how much you tend to overreact, bro._

I tried to break free, managing only to break the coffee table. Emmett was using his full strength and all I could do was curse at him to let me go. Esme came downstairs to see what all the racket was but before I could say anything I heard Alice on the phone.

"Bella! Oh Bella, are you okay? Where are you? What are you doing?"

I instantly stilled. Bella had answered the phone finally. I could hear her on the other end. Where was she? I needed to talk to her, make sure she was safe. I struggled harder against Emmett's hold, to no avail. Bella was answering Alice's questions.

"_My Dad and I went fishing today and we are on our way to a friend's house to share our catch with them. What's wrong?"_

"Bella, I was so worried. You know I wasn't _trying_ to watch you but I am in tune with you so much and a few minutes ago your whole future disappeared. Completely. It just went black. Edward is frantic. Emmett is holding him down to keep him from doing something foolish while I am talking to you. We needed to make sure you were okay before he took off after you. Where are you going, specifically?"

"_La Push." _I could not follow her there. The treaty prohibited it. Damn it! I growled in frustration. I struggled in Emmett's arms. My only thought was to go down there and get her, treaty be damned but Emmett's hold was too strong. That must be what he meant about doing something stupid. I was ready to do anything to have her back beside me now, safe and sound.

"Hmmm." Alice said. "Well that complicates things. We are not allowed down there."

_Why can't I see her? _Alice thought in frustration.

"_Let me talk to him please, Alice." _Bella wanted to speak to me but Emmett would not let me go. I fought against his hold but he would not budge. I needed to hear her voice in my ear.

"Alright, here he is." Alice said. She turned towards Emmett, eyeing me carefully before nodding. "You can let him go. It's okay."

Alice walked over to where Emmett was holding me and held out the phone. He released me and I reached for the phone quickly. Emmett put his hand on my shoulder to restrain me a little but I shrugged it off as I put the phone to my ear.

"Dammit Emmett! Let me go! Bella? Bella are you okay? I have been calling you and texting you all day! Why didn't you answer? Where are you? Are you alright?" I could hear the desperation in my voice and tried to calm my breathing.

"_I'm fine, calm down Edward. Charlie and I were fishing and I left my phone in the truck. We are heading over to La Push to have dinner with Billy and Jacob. Everything_ _is okay." _She was trying to calm me down with her voice but it did nothing to assuage my fears for her safety. I could not protect her when she was on the reservation and apparently Alice's visions were blocked in some way while she was there.

"Alice can't see your future and I can't come down there to make sure your safe. Please, don't go. Come over to my house instead. I need to know that you are safe." I could hear the pleading in my voice but could do nothing to stop it.

"Dude, you have to calm down. She is with Charlie. He would give his right arm if it meant she was safe. You know that. So calm down. You are going to make her worried for nothing." Emmett said. He was right. Charlie could protect her but it wasn't the same as having her safe in my arms.

"_I can't do that. We are already here. I am with my Dad. I will be perfectly fine. I have my phone with me now. You can text me every half hour if you need to. We should only be here for a few hours. Then I will come see you, okay?" _Her voice was so calm and soothing. I knew there was nothing to do but wait for her to come home. But I felt like I was dying inside, aching with worry. I needed her to be safe. If anything happened to her…

"Please, Bella. Please, please, please be careful. I can't live without you, not again. Please just take care of yourself and stay close to Charlie. I know he can protect you. I will be texting you every half hour. And call me the minute you leave. Please. I love you. Please just be safe." I knew I was begging but I didn't care.

"_I will, I promise. I love you too. Try not to worry. We are here. I have to go." _

"I love you Bella. Please just be safe and come back to me." Please be safe, I repeated over and over in my head. I didn't know what I would do if something happened to her, if she had an accident or got hurt and I was not there to protect her.

"_I will. I love you. Bye." _She said.

"Bye my love." I hung up the phone and stood there staring at it for a long moment until Alice came up and took it from my hand. She led me over to the couch and forced me to sit down. I could only stare without seeing. I felt empty and worried and aching all at the same time.

"Edward. _Edward! _Look at me!" Alice's voice seemed far away.

"I know this is hard but you have to trust that Charlie would never let anything happen to Bella. All they are doing is eating dinner. And even though her future went blank obviously nothing happened to her. It has to be something to do with the reservation. Somehow it is blocking my visions. We need to see if we can figure out why instead of sitting here freaking out." Her voice was firm and authoritative.

I slowly turned my head to look at her. She was right. We needed to figure out why she could not see the future. And after tonight Bella would not be going to La Push until we knew what was happening with Alice's visions. We needed to talk to someone to see if we could figure this out.

"Carlisle." Was all I said.

Esme called the hospital to speak to Carlisle but he was with a patient. She left a message with the nurse telling him that there was a situation that needed his attention at home. She did not go into detail but I knew that Carlisle could read between the lines.

Thirty minutes later I could hear Carlisle's car coming up the drive. I swiftly sent a message to Bella.

**I'm sorry if I worried you earlier. I panicked when I could not reach you and Alice could not see you. I told you I was overprotective. I just want you to be safe. I love you, Edward.**

Bella replied quickly.

_**I know and I'm sorry I am not there with you in person but I couldn't do that to Charlie. I'm safe, doing nothing more hazardous than cooking dinner. Take the advice you always give me and BREATHE. I love you too. Bella**_

The twist on my own advice had me chuckling irrationally and I could feel the stares of my family. I took a few unnecessary deep breaths and found myself strangely calmed, a little anyway. I knew that spending time with Charlie was important to her and I felt bad for suggesting she leave him to come here, not matter how worried about her I was.

Carlisle came through the door before my siblings could ask me why I was amused.

"What's wrong?" He asked, taking us all in at a glance. Jasper and Alice were on the loveseat, Jasper rubbing Alice's arms looking concerned and Alice frowning in frustration. Emmett and Rose were on the couch. Rose was flipping through a magazine but her nonchalance was forced. In her head she was turning over different possibilities regarding Alice's loss of visions. Emmett thoughts held a level of protectiveness towards Bella that almost matched my own. He was mentally imploring Bella to take care of herself. Esme was fluttering around rearranging flowers or dusting to keep herself physically occupied. Mentally she was agitated and hoped that we could find the reason for the block on Alice's visions of Bella.

I answered Carlisle's question.

"Bella's future went blank." Carlisle's eyebrows shot up. "Alice said that suddenly her future just wasn't there. She and Charlie went down to La Push and it seems like as soon as they made that decision, her future disappeared." I was holding my frustration at this situation in, but only barely.

"Has anyone talked to Bella? Is she alright?" Carlisle's voice was concerned.

"Yes, we spoke to her on the phone. She is fine; they are having dinner with the Blacks." I said.

_Are you okay son? You are surprisingly calm about this. _

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "No, I'm not. There is nothing I can do about it right now, Carlisle. I can't go down there because of the damn treaty. She knows how worried I am and has promised to stay by Charlie and to be safe. I have permission to text her every half hour to check on her." Carlisle smiled slightly.

_Try not to be a stalker, Edward. _He was laughing in his thoughts. Then he turned serious.

"So, what now?" He said, almost to himself. "Let's start with what we know and go from there."

"Something about the reservation is blocking Alice's vision. It seems like as soon as Bella decided to go there that her future disappeared. But that doesn't make sense. Bella has been to La Push since we met and her future hasn't disappeared before. So what has changed?" I was grateful to have something to occupy me. Seventeen minutes until I could text Bella again, I thought.

"That is a good question. It may not be the reservation itself but something new on the reservation instead." Carlisle was thoughtful. "Perhaps we should run the border, see if we can pick anything up?"

"Good idea. Let's go." I needed to get out of the house. To be doing something so all my focus was not on Bella. Fifteen minutes until I could text her.

Emmett, Carlisle and I took off towards the Quileute border. We ran through the woods, not saying much. As soon as we reached the treaty line we all stopped in shock, all of our noses wrinkled in repugnance. There was a horrible smell emanating from the Quileute side of the line. It smelled like wet dog wrapped in three year old unwashed gym socks. Disgusting. We all stared at each other in disbelief.

"Dude! Is that what I think it is? I haven't smelled that scent in years. Yeecch! It smells like a wet dog had a run in with a skunk." Emmett said. I noticed he wasn't breathing. Carlisle and I weren't either. We quickly turned and headed back home. The scent dissipated behind us and we started breathing again.

I sent Bella another text as we ran.

**Still pining for your return but trying to be patient. How is dinner? Edward**

_**Nothing disastrous has happened. =) We are about to eat now. Thank you for being patient. I miss you too. B**_

We made it to the house and burst inside. Everyone turned to look at us expectantly. Emmett, Carlisle and I all spoke at the same time.

"Werewolves!"

They stared at us in shock.

"Werewolves? How is that possible?" Rosalie asked. "I thought that gene died out since last time we were here."

Esme looked concerned and Alice was frowning, deep in thought. Jasper was trying to control all the varied emotions coming from us all while going over strategy in his head for this new situation.

"Apparently not. And there is no way of knowing how many of them there are or what level of maturity they are. They have to be fairly new since Alice's visions were not affected before now." Carlisle said. I realized what he was saying and terror coursed through me.

"Carlisle! That means Bella is down there surrounded by who knows how many young werewolves and there is nothing we can do about it without breaking the treaty! Oh my God!" I sank down onto the couch and sat forward, my head in my hands, frantically pulling at my hair.

Werewolves were dangerous no matter what but a young werewolf had almost no control. They could snap any minute with almost no provocation. And Bella was sitting there, completely unaware of the danger she was in. Panic flowed through my veins like liquid fire. I had to get her out of there.

"No Edward!" Alice yelled. I jumped, startled. She had been so quiet I had almost forgotten she was there.

"You can't go down there and you know it!" She cried. Everyone turned to look at me, shocked.

"Dammit Alice! You have never seen how volatile a young werewolf is! One wrong word and she could be killed! I have to do something!" I got up and turned toward the door, my only focus was Bella's safety so I didn't hear his thoughts until it was too late.

Emmett grabbed me again, trapping my arms at my sides. I thrashed in his grip, snarling and growling but I could not break free. I felt Jasper throwing wave after wave after wave of calm at me. I felt myself relax against my will and hung limply in Emmett's hold.

"You can't do that Edward!" Emmett growled. "You can't break the treaty. You know that. You have to think. If you go down there it will start a war. One that Bella and Charlie are sitting smack dab in the middle of. Either one of them could be killed. And so could any of us. You know as well as I do that besides another vampire that werewolves are about the only other thing out there that can hurt us. You have to think, dude."

I growled in frustration. He was right. Bella or Charlie or any of my family could be seriously hurt. But Bella could be in danger right now and there was no way we would know about it until it was too late! I began to struggle again.

Jasper picked up on the renewed panic running through me and tossed another wave of calm my way.

"You have got to calm down and be rational, Edward." He said. "I know it is hard to do with the thought of Bella in danger but this threatens all of us too. You can't go running off with no thought to what repercussions your actions will bring."

I sighed, defeated. He was right too. I could not put my family in danger. I could not jeopardize them or Bella.

Emmett felt my surrender and released me, though he stayed close to me just in case.

"So what do we do?" I asked. I heard the weariness in my voice. I sat down heavily on the couch, feeling like my legs would not hold me up another second.

"We will have to be more vigilant about the treaty borders." Carlisle said. "I will do some research to see what I can find out about this particular breed of wolf. I don't believe that they are true werewolves. More like shape shifters. That will make a difference if we ever have to have a confrontation with them."

"Shape shifters?" Esme said.

"Yes," Carlisle replied, "not true werewolves. True werewolves are only able to change during the full moon and they have no control in their animal state. We would have heard if there were true werewolves on the loose. There would be a huge rise in homicides." He grimaced as he finished speaking.

"I believe that these "wolves" are simply shifting back and forth between human and wolf at will. That might explain why Alice cannot see their future. The decision to change is usually made so rapidly, sometimes without their control, and it keeps their futures in a constant state of flux. And when Bella and Charlie chose to combine their future with theirs it put them beyond your sight, Alice."

I realized then that Carlisle had seen and done so much in his long life. So many things that even after all this time I was unaware of it all.

"That makes sense, Carlisle. But what now? We can't let Bella run around with me being unable to see her future. But do we tell her about the wolves?" Alice asked.

"Absolutely not." I said. "There is no reason to worry her with this. Dealing with vampires is bad enough. We don't need to throw more mythical creatures her way."

"She should be told, Edward." Carlisle said. "How can she protect herself if she doesn't know what to protect herself from?"

"She can't protect herself at all, Carlisle. We are _not_ going to tell her about this."

"What about if she wants to go back to La Push, Edward?" Esme asked.

"I will do my best to dissuade her then. She is _not_ going back there."

"Edward it will do more harm then good to keep this from her." Esme said.

I shook my head. Bella did not need anymore stress in her life. I would keep her away from La Push and she would never need to know about the existence of werewolves.

My family did not agree with my decision but they saw I would not change my mind and were resigned. I noticed that forty five minutes had gone by and sent Bella a text.

**Are you having fun? I miss you. Remember to call me when you are leaving. Edward**

_**You're late young man! I hope you have an excuse from your mother! =) I am going to be leaving here soon. Charlie said that it was alright to spend the night. See you soon. B**_

I sent a silent thanks to Charlie for letting Bella stay over. I didn't think I could let her out of my sight after the day I'd had.

Twenty minutes later my phone rang. Bella's name appeared on the caller ID and I snatched my phone open.

"Bella?" I said anxiously.

"Hi, Edward. Are you okay?" She asked. I was touched by the note of worry in her voice. She was always more worried about me than she was herself.

"I'm fine Bella. Are you alright?"

"Of course. I took a walk on the beach and we all ate dinner. I managed to get out of there because a game came on and they were all so engrossed." She giggled a little. I could hear her opening and closing her truck door and the roar of the engine as it started.

"Look, I don't want you to drive one handed so I am going to hang up. I will see you in a few minutes." As much as I wanted to talk to her I didn't want to tempt fate when she was on her way to see me. I made a mental note to buy her one of those hands-free cell phone earpieces.

She hesitated. "I should really shower and change before I come over, Edward. I'm a mess." I could almost feel her blush from here.

"No!" I said, a little too loudly. "I mean, no, you can shower here. Alice still has plenty of clothes for you to wear here." I paused, feeling a little embarrassed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just want to see you as soon as possible." I said sheepishly.

She sighed. "Alright. I'll head that way then. See you soon. I love you."

"I love you too. See you soon. Be careful." Please drive safely, I thought in my head.

"I will, bye."

"Bye my love."

I hung up. Now all I had to do is wait.

A few minutes later I heard Alice gasp again. All eyes went to her and she was laughing and sighing in relief.

"I can see her again! She has left the reservation and is on her way here. She should be here soon." She was giggly and exited and I could here in her head how happy she was to see Bella's future again.

"Edward, you might want to reconsider telling her about the werewolves. She is not going to take it well if you don't." Alice said.

I shook my head. "I have made up my mind, Alice. I cannot put all that stress on her."

"But Edward-." Alice said. She tried to show me a vision in her head but I blocked her thoughts.

"No Alice." I said firmly. She sighed and shook her head. I heard her mutter "stubborn vampire" under her breath. Stubborn or not, it was my responsibility to protect Bella.

I sat back, waiting for her to arrive.

After fifteen minutes I was vowing to put her in a new car as soon as possible, even if I had to disable her truck to do it. Her truck was so slow it was a wonder that she ever got anywhere on time. The waiting was excruciating. Even knowing she was alright I had to hold her in my arms. I needed it. Like my body needed blood. I had to feel her arms around me to fully believe that she was safe.

About ten minutes later I could hear her truck roaring up the drive. I ran out onto the porch to wait for her. I could feel the rest of my hovering near the doorway. She pulled up in front of the house and I was beside the driver's side door in an instant. I opened the door and took her hand, practically dragging her out of the truck and into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and buried my face in her hair, inhaling deeply. Her scent calmed me, soothed my worries. She encircled my waist and slowly drew her hands up and down my spine. She pressed her cheek into my chest and made soft soothing sounds. I thought she was trembling but was shocked to find that it was me.

"Shh. It's okay baby. I'm here. I'm okay. It's going to be alright." She said whispered.

"I was so scared." I whispered. "I didn't know where you were or of you were alright. I couldn't be there to protect you if something happened. I never want to feel that helpless again. I love you so much." I heard the distraught tone of my voice but could not prevent it.

"I love you too. Let's go inside so I can find out what is going on." She said, slowly pulling her arms from around me.

Unwillingly I released her, but kept my arm around her waist as we walked towards the house. Alice met us at the bottom of the steps and drew Bella into a hug, though I still did not remove my arm from around her.

"Bella I am so glad I can see you again. I was so shocked and worried. That has never happened before. I am so glad you are okay." Alice trilled.

"I'm fine Alice, I promise. But I am curious to hear what has happened. Why couldn't you see me before but now you can?"

Alice looked at me before looking back at Bella.

"Let's talk about it in the house." I said.

_Tell her the truth Edward. I'm telling you she is going to be mad if you don't._

I shook my head slightly. It was better for her not to know right now.

We walked up the steps and into the house.

My family backed away from the door now that they saw that Bella truly was alright. They were all worried about her too. Everyone sat down. Bella sat with me on the loveseat and I put one arm around her shoulders, running my fingers through her hair. I took her hand with my free one and rubbed her knuckles with my thumb. I felt such a strong need for contact.

"So, what happened Alice? You said you couldn't see me anymore. What does that mean?" Bella asked.

"Well, like I said I am really in tune with you and I had been kind of been keeping tabs on you all day for Edward." She shrugged sheepishly. Bella waved her hand in dismissal and Alice smiled.

"Anyway, all of a sudden it was like someone turned out all the lights. One second you were riding in the truck with Charlie and the next you were gone. It was just black. I have never had that happen to me before."

"And you think it has something to do with me being on the reservation?" Bella asked, bemused.

"We are not entirely sure what caused it." I said. "Though it seems that when you merge your future with the Quileute's that your future is lost."

"Oh. But why now? I mean, I've been down to La Push since I've known you all and this has never happened before. That you told me about anyway." Bella looked at Alice when she said the last part and Alice shook her head no in confirmation.

"So what's changed now?" Bella asked.

We all hesitated. Bella looked at everyone then up at me.

"What? What are you not telling me?" She asked suspiciously.

"There is nothing to worry about Bella. We are just not one hundred percent sure of what is going on." I said. This was true, sort of.

"What do you _think_ is going on then?" She asked warily.

I shook my head. "We have to do some research. Until then it is nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about…" She echoed. "So there is something going on but you are not going to tell me?" Her voice was flat, making it more a statement than a question.

She looked at the faces of my family, eyes narrowed. Everyone was keeping their faces intentionally blank.

_You should tell her Edward_-Alice

_She is suspicious and slightly perturbed Ed_-Jasper

_I think we should tell her. She is stronger than you give her credit for Eddie boy_-Emmett

_I feel so guilty not telling her the truth._-Esme.

I felt Bella draw in a breath.

"So there is nothing to worry about?" She was speaking each word slowly, carefully.

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"And there is nothing you want to tell me? Nothing I should be aware of?" She asked, looking at me for confirmation.

"No, everything is fine." It was. We could handle the werewolves and she would not have to add them to her nightmares.

"Hmmm, well okay then." She said indifferently. She pulled her hand from mine and stood up.

"I will just be going then." She said abruptly and turned towards the door. We were all frozen in shock for a moment then I found my voice.

"Wait-no-I thought you were staying the night?" I asked puzzled. Her sudden departure confused me. I could not be without her now, not after the day I'd had worrying about her.

Bella turned around, eyes flashing. I was taken aback by her sudden anger.

"That is when I thought I was going to be staying with my family. You all obviously do not think of me the same way I think of you so I am leaving."

There was a moment of shocked silence then everyone was speaking at once.

"Of course you are our family." Esme cried.

"You and I are sisters Bella!" Alice exclaimed

"Don't do something rash." Jasper said.

"Bella we love you." Emmett said, pouting.

Bella held up her hand and everyone stopped talking.

"How can I be real family if you are all lying to me, whether by words or silence? You have no secrets from each other but you are clearly keeping something from me." She said angrily. She stared at each of us in turn and I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"Bella-." I started but she interrupted.

"I know you are not telling me the truth. Maybe all of your lying skills work better on strangers, people who don't know you, but I _do _know all of you and I can tell you are all keeping something from me. So tell me what it is or I am going home." She crossed her arms across her chest and stood, glaring at me.

"Bella, it is for your own good that you don't know." I said placating.

She gasped and her eyes narrowed. I heard Jasper sigh behind me.

"For my own good?!" She practically shrieked. I winced at the sound.

"We talked about this Edward. About making decisions together. Remember? Partners? Equals? How can we be together if you don't trust me?" Her voice was indignant.

"Of course I trust you Bella! I trust you with my life!" There was no one I trusted more than her.

"You don't trust me enough Edward. You don't trust me enough to tell me the truth. You don't think I can deal with it so you just decided not to tell me. You are doing it again! Making decisions about my life without even talking to me about it. I am not sure what it is you are keeping from me this time but I do know you don't think I am strong enough to handle it."

"I am just trying to protect you." I said in appeasement.

"You cannot wrap me up in bubble wrap Edward. Guess what? Life is unpleasant sometimes. There are things out there that might shock me or hurt me or disrupt my life. But it is far better to deal with them head on than to be blindsided by them later. You're not telling me what is going on now to protect me. But what if I am hurt by that very thing because you didn't trust me enough to let me deal with it?"

I was shocked. I saw her point. Our conversation in my bedroom came back to me. I had to let her make her own decisions about her life. By not doing so I was stifling her. I was falling back on my old patterns. I warred with myself about telling her about the Quileutes but I realized that if we were going to be on equal footing in our relationship there could not be secrets between us.

I dropped my head and sighed.

"Your right, of course. I'm sorry. It's just that you mean so much to me and the thought of something distressing you hurts me. I can't bear to see you under any kind of stress."

"I understand that Edward, but stress is a natural part of life, human or vampire. There is no escaping it. You have to believe in me, believe that I can handle it. If you don't see me as your equal there is no way we can be together. I may not have vampire abilities but I would like to think that by now you realize that I am not some shrinking violet. I can handle whatever it is. You have to trust me enough to believe that. You have to have faith that I can make good decisions. _You have to have faith in me._"

I was staggered. She was right, again, as usual. She _was_ strong. She had proven that to me over and over again in the last month. Everything she had done since making the decision to find me had reinforced how strong she was. And even before that, from the first moment I had met she has shown me what an indomitable person she was. I was only now realizing the depth of her fortitude. She had proven over and over again that she could withstand whatever life threw at her and still come out on the other side. Why had I not seen this before? How could I have underestimated her so much? Because you are an idiot Edward, I thought to myself. Shame and guilt filled me.

_I can feel what you are going through Edward. Now fix it. _Jasper thought.

I looked at Bella, who still stood fuming before me.

"When did you become so much smarter than me?" I asked, with a trace of a smile. I saw the corners of her lips lift slightly before she answered.

"I always have been." She said smugly and smirked at me.

"Yes, I think you have." I conceded with a small smile. "I'm sorry Bella. I think protecting you is so ingrained in me that it is my first instinct, even if that instinct is wrong. I am only just starting to understand how strong a person you are, though I should have realized it long ago. I do have faith in you, I really do. It is just such a struggle; protecting you and letting you go at the same time." I hung my head.

"Edward, look at me." I looked up and saw compassion in her eyes.

"I know that you only want what is best for me. But we _did_ talk about this. You can want what's best for me, but acting on it without talking to me first is wrong. We can handle anything that comes as long as it is together, remember?"

I could not help myself. I pulled her towards me and buried my head in the curve of her neck. She wrapped one arm around my waist and stroked my hair with her free hand.

"Together, always." My mantra.

She pulled away and took my face in her delicate warm hands.

"Now we are going to sit down and you are going to tell me exactly what is going on." Her voice was stern and her eyes blazed with determination. I nodded in her hands. She pulled my head down and kissed me softly before releasing me and grabbing my hand. I turned and realized that my family had witnessed our scene. Bella noticed too and her cheeks flamed, though her steps did not falter as she led me to the couch and we sat down.

_I told you she would be angry._ Alice thought.

When we had settled, Bella turned to me.

"Now, tell me. What is going on?"

I took a deep breath.

"How much do you know about the Quileute legends?" I asked.

She looked baffled.

"Not much really. Jacob Black told me about the legend of the Cold Ones and about all of you. He mentioned something about their descendants but it has been a while and I don't remember what he said."

"Well, according to tribal legend they are descendant from wolves. What most of the tribe doesn't know it that the legends are true." I waited to see her reaction.

Her brow furrowed. "You mean they _are_ descendant from wolves? What does that mean?"

"It means that they _are_ wolves, some of them anyway." I said.

"Wolves? Like, real wolves? So…that means they are what? Werewolves or something?" She sounded skeptical.

"Or something." I said.

Her brows shot up.

"Really? Werewolves? The whole howling at the moon, silver bullet kind of werewolves?" She sounded disbelieving.

I rolled my eyes.

"Those are Hollywood versions of werewolves Bella. And we don't think that they are werewolves in the truest sense of the word. These wolves are what you would call shape shifters. I think the choice of wolves is arbitrary. They could have morphed into kittens or elephants. But somehow they chose wolf form."

She paused and I let her gather her thoughts.

"So members of the Quileutes are werewolves? Why now?" She asked looking at all of us.

"What do you mean dear?" Esme asked.

"Well it seems like this is a new development. So why are they shape shifting now? What is different now? And how do you know about them in the first place if you are not allowed on La Push? Does this have anything to do with the treaty thing you were talking about?" I was mildly surprised at how well she was taking all of this news.

"We don't know what is causing them to shift now. Something recent it seems has caused that dormant gene to kick in." Carlisle said. "The treaty you mentioned was enacted seventy years ago. Edward, Rose, Emmett and I were here and stumbled onto their tribal lands. They had all heard legends of us and so knew instinctively what we were. I was able to convince them that we meant no harm to the humans here and so we made a treaty. As long as we stayed clear of La Push and did not harm any humans they would not reveal us. The leader at that time was a man named Ephraim Black."

"So he was Jacob's great grandfather? That makes sense. Billy knew what you were. I convinced him not to tell Charlie. But I was always surprised that he believed the legends so much but I can see how he would now."

She paused for a moment, a contemplative look on her face. Then suddenly she giggled. Then the giggle turned to full on laughter. She started to laugh uncontrollably. I was worried that I had finally made her snap when she spoke, gasping for breath.

"W-w-werewolves?" She said laughing. "Seriously?" *giggle* You were worried about telling me about werewolves?" She laughed. "Edward," she shook her head, "I spend most of my day hanging around vampires and a good portion of my time kissing one. Do you really think I would not be able to handle hearing about another mythical creature?" She laughed.

I paused before I realized she was right, I was absurd. I laughed and everyone else joined with me. "I guess I should have realized that you would not be afraid like a _normal_ human." Then I sobered up. "But Bella, these werewolves are dangerous. This is not like a movie. These wolves can change instantly, at will and are ruled by their emotions. If you are too close to them when they morph it can be dangerous or deadly. Please understand that."

She nodded solemnly. "I understand. And it _is_ better that you told me now. Jacob invited me to a bonfire next week and-." I started to speak but she held up her hand. "And now that I know about the wolves I am going to tell him I can't come." I closed my mouth and nodded. I was glad that she was going to see reason. She must have read my expression.

"I do have _some _sense of self-preservation you know. And besides that it worries the hell out of you. That is not something I want to do to you. I have no real reason to go down there anyway unless it is with Charlie so it is not a hardship not to."

I hugged her to my chest. "Thank you." I whispered.

She giggled and I pulled back to look at her face.

"See how much better it is to tell me the truth to begin with?" She laughed and my family joined her.

Much better indeed, I thought._  
_


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: I wanted to dedicate these next two chapters to Sassy18 who always takes the time to write me great reviews. She keeps me writing with her funny and insightful comments. Thanks for the encouragement girl! Check out her profile for an amazing list of quotes that will keep you laughing.**

**I also want to warn you about the huge tumbleweed of a fluff ball headed your way. Major McGillicuddy of the Fluff Brigade showed up and told me that his regiment was not receiving enough story time. He then proceeded to beat me about the head and shoulders with a large teddy bear. A pink one. With a red bowtie and heart shaped dimples. I was truly terrified *shiver*. So I decided that after the two-ton anvil of angst that I dropped in the last chapters that we would have some fluffy time. The angst will be back (this is Bella and Edward after all) but they deserve some fun right now.**

**  
Thank you to everyone who continues to read my story. I appreciate all the reviews and thanks to everyone who added me to their favorites list. **

Bella

Edward and I sat side by side on the couch as we continued to talk to the rest of his family about the wolves. He never stopped touching me and I found it very distracting. His fingers were either running through my hair or tracing small patterns on my neck or the back of my hand. He placed his icy hand on my leg and I jumped slightly at the contact. I looked down at his hand and remembered that I was still wearing my fishing clothes. Ugh. Edward noticed my sudden frown.

"What's wrong?" He whispered.

"Nothing really. I just remembered that I really need to take a shower and change my clothes." I felt my cheeks pinken slightly. I looked like a ragamuffin. Edward noticed my blush and grinned his crooked grin at me.

"You are beautiful no matter what you wear, silly girl. But if you want a shower go ahead. I am sure Alice can find you something to wear." He looked over at Alice who was smiling at me.

"Oh yes Bella, I have plenty of things for you to wear. Come on. Let's go upstairs and I will get something for you while you shower." She was in front of me instantly, pulling me up and off the couch. I kept forgetting that even though she was so tiny she was incredibly strong.

I followed her as she skipped up the staircase, while I took a more sedate pace to make sure I didn't fall and kill myself on accident. What can I say, it is always a possibility with me.

She stopped at Edward's room.

"You go get in the shower and I will get something cute for you to wear!" She said excitedly, practically pushing me into the bathroom.

I turned on the water and undressed quickly. The hot water felt good, washing away all the grime from my fishing expedition and relaxing my muscles. I could feel the fatigue catching up with me. I turned off the water and stepped out. I dried myself off with a soft and fluffy towel and combed out my tangled hair. I looked around and realized that I had nothing to change into. I could not put my dirty clothes back on. Alice must have left my clothes in the bedroom. I secured the towel around me and opened the door, stepping into the coolness of Edward's bedroom.

Then I froze.

Edward was standing in the middle of the room, completely unmoving. He was staring at me, mouth agape. I watched as he closed his mouth and his eyes darkened to black. The look in his eyes was hungry, almost predatory, but not in a way that made me afraid. In a way that aroused me. It was not desire for my blood that I saw in his eyes but desire for _me_. He had never looked at me with such intensity and I felt my body respond to the lust in his gaze. He inhaled deeply, his eyes becoming hooded. He took two steps towards me and I took one towards him.

"Bella!" Alice's voice rang out as she walked into the room.

And like that the spell was broken. Damn! Edward seemed to shake himself then turned without a word and left the room. I wanted to follow him but I was still in a towel and Alice stopped me anyways.

"I have your pajamas, Bella." She said, holding up a pair of soft blue pajama pants and matching tank top, seemingly unaware of what she had just interrupted. I mentally shook my head at her timing and took them from her, going back into the bathroom to change.

I stood there for a moment, trying to get myself under control. I was still shaken by the lustful look in Edward's eyes when he had seen me in only that towel. He was always so careful around me and seeing that he desired me as much as I desired him gave me hope for the future. It had always seemed so easy for him to pull away from me in the past and it had always left me feeling so undesirable. But the look in his eyes a few minutes ago had me thinking.

Maybe it wasn't so easy for him after all. Maybe it was his old-fashioned sensibilities that were holding him back. That and the thought that he might physically hurt me. But I honestly did not think that he had it in him to hurt me.

He was worried about losing control with me. But maybe, just maybe, he did not understand how much control he really might have. He had never allowed anything more than kissing so he did not know what the depths of his control were. Maybe we could work on that, try to test his boundaries. I just wasn't sure how to go about it. I would have to talk to Alice. Though I am quite sure that would be one of the most embarrassing conversations of my entire life. But I loved Edward enough to endure it. I would talk to her in the morning, away from the rest of the family.

I changed into the pajamas and walked back into the bedroom. To my surprise, Edward was already there. He was sitting on the bed waiting for me. The covers had been turned down on my side and he sat on top of them. I walked over and crawled up next to him. I laid my arm over his stomach and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around me and the other was drawing small patterns on my forearm. I don't know why but I felt the need to apologize to him.

"I'm sorry about before. I didn't know you would be in here and Alice didn't leave my pajamas in the bathroom for me." I could feel the burn in my cheeks. I was less embarrassed about him seeing me in only a towel than I was about him thinking that I might have done it on purpose.

He brushed his cool fingers down my hot cheeks.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have waited before coming upstairs. I didn't mean to catch you in that state of undress." He rested his cheek against the top of my head and his voice was soft in my ear.

"It's okay. It's not like I was naked." My cheeks felt hot again and I had to stop for a moment as thoughts of both Edward and I naked flashed in my mind. I gave myself a mental shake and continued.

"Besides, some of the things that Alice tries to put me in are more revealing than that towel." I laughed a little to dispel the tension. Edward laughed a little too.

"Anyways, it doesn't matter. So, what did you do today?" I asked to change the subject.

"You mean before becoming completely panic-stricken when I could not contact you and then angering you with my lack of faith in you?" He teased. I was glad that he could make jokes about it instead of brooding about it.

"Yes, before that." I teased back.

"Well, after I left you this morning I went hunting and then went to talk to Carlisle."

"Oh, what did you talk about?"

He paused for a moment.

"I took your advice and decided to forgive myself about what happened between us but I wasn't sure how to go about it. So I talked to Carlisle and he helped me." He shrugged nonchalantly but I could see that whatever Carlisle had said affected him a lot. He seemed lighter, as if a burden had been lifted from him. I was glad.

"What did he say?"

"Hmm, well he basically told me that if I didn't let this go it would poison our entire relationship. And that I needed to focus on us now-right now-and let everything else go. He pointed out all the ways that we have both grown and changed and that even though it hurt us both so much, our separation has actually strengthened our relationship. That there will always be things that remind us of that time but that we should use those things to remind us how much better we are together than we are apart."

I was stunned for a moment by Carlisle's insight. Then I could not help the grin that overtook my face. I raised my voice and called out.

"Carlisle, you are officially my new favorite person!"

I heard laughter erupt from all over the house. Then I heard Alice and Edward say at the same time in mock outrage

"Hey what about me?!"

I could not help the laughter that overtook me.

When I quieted down I looked up at him. He was smiling down at me with such love and tenderness I almost gasped at the intensity. I smiled back up at him, trying to convey the same thing with my eyes. It must have worked because I saw his eyes begin to twinkle with joy. He bent his head and kissed me softly, our lips expressing everything our hearts wanted to say. He raised his head and I snuggled deeper into his arms. He began to hum softly and I was soon asleep.

I woke up the next day wrapped in Edward's arms. I felt so safe and loved and happy and I wanted to wake up every single day feeling like this. Not having to worry about Charlie in the next room, not having to sneak around rules to spend time with Edward. I wanted to spend every moment with him. I wanted to see his smiling face looking down at me, see the love twinkling in his eyes knowing it was reflected in my own. _I wonder if this is what real marriage is like?_ I thought. Wait. Where had that thought come from? Marriage? Was I really thinking about what it would be like to marry Edward? I gasped at the thought.

"Something wrong my love?" He asked, a frown marring his brow.

"Uh, no. I just, uh, need a human moment." I said shakily.

Edward released me at once and I practically bolted into the bathroom. I knew he must be wondering what was wrong with me but I had to have a moment alone. I gripped the edge of the vanity and stared at the reflection in the mirror. The woman looking back at me had the strangest expression on her face. It was halfway between terror and wonder. Her eyes were wide and overly bright and her face was flushed. Her chest was heaving with deep gasps.

I splashed my face with cold water, trying to calm down.

Marriage. I tasted the word in my mind. I was surprised at my reaction to it. Not the complete horror I had thought I would have. I was not exactly raised to have the best opinion of marriage. My parents had shown me how painful it could be when they ended. I knew that Charlie was still in love with my mom and I wondered how their marriage would have fared if Renee was not so flighty and if Charlie was more emotionally available. They might have made it work. And mine and Edward's marriage would not suffer the same problems. We were much more grounded and open with each other.

Whoa. Mine and Edward's marriage? When did I start thinking like that? Like it was a possibility? I was only eighteen. Well almost nineteen now. But still, wasn't that a little early to begin thinking about marriage? But Edward was only seventeen, physically anyway. If we were going to get married I would have to be changed, soon. Wow. I had not thought about that in a while either. It had been so long since it was a possibility. Now the thought of growing older while Edward stayed perpetually seventeen came crashing down on me again. If Edward and I were going to be together the way I wanted I would have to be changed and changed soon before I started to look too much older than him for it to work. If he wanted to be with me forever that is. We had not talked about it. Well we had but he had always shot down the idea of me being changed as soon as it was brought up. We had a lot to talk about but I needed to get this right in my head. And I needed to talk to Alice. Damn. This was too much to think about after I had just woken up. I needed a cup of coffee.

I heard a soft rap on the door.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked.

"I'm fine thanks." I replied in as normal a voice as I could manage.

"I'm going to go downstairs. I'll see you when you come down." Edward called through the door.

"Ok, I'll be down in a minute." I replied.

"Alice left you something to wear on the bed." Bless her.

"Tell her thanks for me." I said.

"Alright, see you in a few."

I gave myself a mental shake and tried to get myself together. I brushed my hair into ponytail and walked out into the bedroom. Alice had left me a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a lightweight dark blue v-neck sweater. The material was soft and knowing Alice was probably cashmere. I got dressed and walked downstairs

I walked into the kitchen and found Edward, Alice and Jasper waiting for me there. Edward walked over and kissed me on the cheek before he handed me a cup of coffee which I took gratefully.

"Alice said you would want that." He said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. I knew it probably smelled terrible to him but it was heaven to me right now. I needed its rejuvenating effects even though I knew my low tolerance for caffeine would catch up to me later.

Edward was looking at me quizzically, probably thinking about my low tolerance for caffeine as well and wondering why I wanted it this morning. I looked over at Alice and she smiled and winked at me. Of course she knew that I wanted to talk to her today. I was also pretty sure that she had already come up with a way to get me alone.

"What would you like to do today, love?" Edward asked as he leaned against the kitchen island. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his posture pulled his shirt tight across the muscles in his chest and emphasized his long legs. Mmmm.

Jasper cleared his throat and I looked over at him. He raised an eyebrow at me and I apologized to him with my eyes. He grinned at me and winked.

Edward looked back and forth between the two of us but Jasper must have been blocking his thoughts because he was wearing a slightly frustrated frown. Before he could comment though, Alice came to my rescue.

"Actually Bella and I have an appointment in Port Angeles. We are going to have to leave soon if we want to make it there on time." She smirked at me behind Edward's back.

"An appointment for what?" Edward asked suspiciously.

"An appointment at a salon. Bella needs a haircut before we start school and I want us to get a manicure and a pedicure too. We are having a girl's day!" Alice's voice was bubbling with excitement.

Edward looked over at me and I could only nod in agreement with Alice. I did not trust my voice not to betray me.

"Oh, I thought we might spend a little time together before you have to go home." Edward pouted at me. I almost gave in but I knew that I had to talk to Alice about all the things rolling around in my head.

"I want to have a little one on one time with Alice. She is my best friend after all." Alice beamed at me. I was glad that I was able to answer back with the truth.

"Why don't you and I do something tonight, just the two of us?" I offered in compromise.

I knew giving him the opportunity to not only be alone with me but also the chance to spend money on me like he loved to do would make him happy. And if it appeased him enough to allow me and Alice to go off alone I would do it.

Edward's face lit up with boyish excitement.

"Like a date?" He asked, his eyes sparkling. I smiled at his enthusiasm.

"Yes, like a date." I said and he grinned. I could not help but grin back.

"We have never really been out on a real date before. It might be fun." I said.

I heard Alice gasp and when I looked at her she was grinning.

"Well if guys are going out on a date tonight we really have to get to the salon. Come on, Bella. Go get your shoes on so we can go." She half dragged half pushed me up the stairs. I put my shoes on and made my way back downstairs. Alice was waiting for me at the bottom step with Edward behind her.

He scooped me up into a hug as soon as my foot touched the bottom step and kissed me enthusiastically. As usual I forgot where I was and wrapped myself around him, tunneling my fingers through his silky hair. The sound of someone impatiently clearing their throat behind me brought me out of my daze. I slowly pulled away from Edward and saw the twinkle in his eye as he reveled in the effect he had on me. Impulsively I reached up and kissed him fervently, nibbling on his bottom lip before pulling away quickly and turning for the door.

"See you later!" I called. When I looked at him his eyes had darkened again and his arms were halfway extended, as if reaching for me.

Alice and I made it to the garage before we looked at each other and burst into giggles. When we had calmed down we climbed into the newest edition to the Cullen Car Lot. A Mercedes GL550. I didn't know what the numbers and letters stood for but it meant something to Edward and Rose so I didn't push it. It seemed like any other SUV to me but when I had said that out loud the looks of shock, horror and disbelief on their faces, not to mention the detailed reasons why it was not just "any SUV" had convinced me to never voice _that_ opinion again.

Alice waited until we were down the driveway onto the main road before speaking.

"Sooo…" She started. "What do you want to talk about first? Having sex with Edward? Getting married to Edward? Or being changed by Edward?" She was grinning.

I felt my face burn as red as the stop sign we were stopped at.

"Well, geez Alice. Why don't you get to the point already?" I said sarcastically.

She laughed her bell-like laugh.

"I know you want to talk about all of them. I just wanted you to pick which one first."

I bit my lip for a moment, trying to decide which one I wanted to talk about first.

"Well, I guess start with which one is most likely to actually happen."

"That's the thing, Bella. All of them are going to happen. It is just the timing that is a little off right now."

I sucked in a harsh breath. All of them? All of them. I was going to have sex, get married and be changed. Though maybe not in that order. My heart skipped several beats.

"Can you see which might happen first? How soon they are likely to happen?" I asked.

"Hmm, well it depends a lot on Edward. I can't see what he will decide right now. But I think all of them are in the near future, possibly this year." She looked over at me to gauge my reaction to her words.

I was stunned. The near future. This year. The words kept rolling around in my head. By this time next year I could be a vampire. A married vampire. A married sexually active vampire. The thought had me grinning. I looked over at Alice and she was grinning too.

"Really?" I asked. "Really? This year? I could be one of you this year? And married? Really?" My voice was bursting with excitement and disbelief.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes really. Is that something you are ready for? Marriage? Being a vampire? Just one of those is a huge step. Are you ready to take both?" She asked seriously.

Was I ready? Ready to give up my family and friends? Was I prepared to leave everything I knew behind when the time came? My life, as it were? For Edward? For Edward. Yes, for Edward I would do anything, go anywhere. He was my other half and I would do whatever it took to stay by his side, forever. Even if that meant getting married. Marriage might not as bad as I was making it out to be. I know my parents had not been able to make it work but there were billions of people out there who did everyday. I had already committed myself to Edward in my heart and was willing to give up everything to be with him. Marriage was another way we could connect, a way to bind us closer together, forever. When I thought about it like that, marriage seemed like a much more pleasant idea.

I set my jaw and looked at Alice. "Yes. Yes, I'm ready. I love Edward. I want to be with him forever. I know it will hurt to lose Charlie and Renee and my friends but I'm ready. I know what my life is like without him and I _never _want to go through that again. _Ever_. I want to marry Edward. I want to be a vampire." I said with conviction.

Alice looked at me for a long time, which was slightly terrifying since she was still driving, before nodding her head at me.

"I know that Edward has avoided this conversation with you Bella and I know why he has. This is not an easy life. Even for me. I know that I seem so content all the time but really that is only since you came into our lives. It is hard to have to cut yourself off from people. We can never really be close to anyone outside the family for fear of exposure. I love Jazz with all my heart and would go anywhere, do anything, _be_ anything he wanted me to be but it wasn't until you came into our lives that I became really and truly whole. I didn't realize just how lonely I was until I met you. You are my best friend Bella. I love you."

I felt the tears prick my eyes. Except for Edward, no one had ever made me feel so special, like I was important to them.

"Thank you Alice. I love you, too. I feel the same way. I never really had any real friends before. I never felt like I fit in anywhere. But from the moment I met you I felt comfortable. Like we were two pieces in a puzzle. Other pieces may interlock around us and make a whole picture but we will always be together because we fit. You are my best friend too. Except for Edward there isn't anyone I would rather spend eternity with." I said sincerely.

Alice pulled the SUV over to the side of the road and reached across the console to hug me. Her eyes were bright and I think if she was able to she would have been crying.

"Oh Bella! That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!" She exclaimed.

I laughed in her arms. "Alice I need to breathe, honey."

She laughed and released me. She turned and pulled the vehicle back out onto the road.

"Ok, well onto the important stuff." She said. "It isn't clear how all these visions come about. I know you said you would be willing to marry Edward but you haven't made the decision to do so. So the vision I am seeing is kind of fuzzy right now. I see you in a white dress but your back is to me and I can't see if you are human or vampire. I think you are human though. Then I see you and Edward together and you are both vampires. So I am thinking that you get married first then you change."

I bit my lip and blushed. She sensed it and looked over at me, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Was there something else you wanted to ask about?" She teased.

"Aa-li-cce!" I said. I knew she knew what I wanted to ask her and she was tormenting me on purpose.

"Come on Bella. If you can't ask me, how are you going to bring it up to Edward? Hmmm?" She raised her eyebrows at me expectantly.

I took a deep breath and huffed it out.

"Ok, fine. What about me and Edward having sex? When does that happen?" I grated out, my cheeks burning like fire.

Alice laughed. "See was that so hard? Just be lucky that it is me and not Rose. She would be tormenting you six ways to Sunday if she were here." She laughed again and I felt the blush flaring brighter. I didn't think I could handle Rose's blunt manner about sex just yet.

"Then I am very grateful that it is just you and me Alice." I said.

"Me too. Well as far as actual sex goes I can't pinpoint it. But I do see you and Edward becoming more intimate. I'm going to hazard a guess and say you guys haven't done too much yet?"

"Just kissing. Touching from the shoulders up, that kind of thing. We haven't even made it to second base yet." I hated the term but it seemed easier to talk about sex when you used euphemisms. At least for me anyway.

"Really? He hasn't tried to cop a feel or anything? Geez, no wonder he is so uptight all the time. Jazz says Edward is always radiating so much lust when you are around I figured you guys would have gotten farther than that at least." She seemed genuinely puzzled.

"Lust? He feels…lust when he is around me?" I had seen the look in his eyes last night but that was the first time I could recall him looking at me with such hunger. I knew that he would get a little worked up when we kissed but it never seemed to be as strong as what I was feeling. How could he feel something as powerful as lust and pull away from me so easily?

"Oh God, yes. Jazz can hardly be around him since the two of you got back together. He says the only thing that he feels coming from Edward that is stronger than the lust is the overwhelming love Edward feels when you are around. Sometimes all that emotion gets to be to much for him and he has to leave the house and drag me away with him." She grinned, winking at me. I rolled my eyes. I did not want to hear about her and Jasper's sex life.

"It was really bad in Denali." She continued. My eyes widened and she nodded at my expression. "Oh yes. Jasper said the whole time we were there Edward was utterly consumed with it. I'm surprised he could keep his hands off of you."

I blushed hard remembering the steamy kisses he had given me in the room and outside up against the tree after my temper tantrum.

"Well, if what you say is true then maybe it won't be as hard as I thought to get him to, uh, go farther." I stammered. "But, um, what do I do? He always pulls away when things seem like they are going to get serious. I'm not strong enough to hold him down you know." I said.

Alice laughed. "No, but you have a lot more weapons in your arsenal than you think you do. I don't think you will have to worry about holding him down, only holding him off. Especially when I am through with you. You are going to be too much of a temptation for him to resist you." She had a scheming gleam in her eye and I was frightened.

"Alice, you know I can't pull off sexy like you and Rose can. I am too uncoordinated to strut and I could never pull off anything really brazen." I had a horrible vision of breaking a leg in a pair of sky high heels while Edward laughed at me and shivered.

Alice gave me an impish smile. "Not to worry, Bella. I know those things don't work on Edward. No, we are going to use more subtle weapons. We are going to have him panting after you and you will hardly have to do a thing. Trust me, he will never know what hit him. Now come on, we're here."

I looked up and saw that we were at a very ritzy looking salon. We got out and went inside.

We spent the next two hours being pampered. Alice insisted that I have a manicure and a pedicure. My fingernails were a soft pink and my toenails were painted a pretty purple-red color.

"I like this color Alice. What's it called?"

Alice gave me a devilish grin. "Vamp." She said, winking at me.

I burst out laughing, drawing the gazes of the other patrons.

"Perfect." I said.

Alice decided that I needed a more up-to-date hairstyle and had them give me a more layered cut and side-swept bangs. I had to admit the style really brought out my eyes, making them really pop.

When we were done and Alice had paid we climbed back into the SUV.

"Ok, now we shop!" Alice said.

"Shopping? I have enough clothes Alice. Why do we need to shop for more?" I would never understand Alice's never ending fixation on clothes.

"Bella, these are not just any clothes we are going to buy. These are your "Seduction of Edward Cullen" clothes we are going to buy. It is completely different. The stuff you have is fine for school or lying around the house. But if we want him chomping at the bit we have to step up your game a little. You'll see. When have I ever steered you wrong?"

I sighed in defeat. After all, there was a reason you didn't bet against Alice. She was almost always right.

Alice dragged me through shop after shop, tossing clothes at me to carry. I had found a way to get out of having to spend hours in the dressing rooms trying them on. I would "decide" to buy the outfit and Alice would get a vision of me in it. She would then tell me whether or not she liked me in it. It actually worked out pretty well and saved us a lot of time and me a lot of aggravation. Hyperactive psychic vampire pixies were a lot of fun to be around, once you learned a few tricks to keep them calm.

We were in the last shop when I heard Alice gasp and squeal.

"This is it Bella! This is the dress for your date tonight! Oh this is going to be great! Edward is going to die when he sees you in this!"

I raised a brow at her choice of words but didn't say anything. Chuckling, I took the dress into the fitting room since Alice said this one I _had_ to try on. It was very simple, demure even. It was navy blue with off-the-shoulder cap sleeves and a twisted neckline. There was a skinny belt that matched the dress and it hit at my knees. I felt sophisticated and elegant.

I stepped out in the dress and Alice was bouncing with excitement.

"Bella you look amazing! This is going to be great!" She cried.

"I like it too Alice but it seems a little tame compared to what I _thought_ you might put me in." It seemed a little too subtle for Alice's taste.

"That is exactly why it will work." She said knowingly.

I wrinkled my brow in puzzlement and she sighed.

"Ok Bella I am going to explain my plan. Right now Edward sees you as Sweet Innocent _Adorable_ Bella. Adorable is all well and good but it is a word you would use to describe a teddy bear or something. We want him to think of you as a sex kitten. We want him to see you as Sweet Innocent _Sexy_ Bella. Your sweetness and your innocence are the things that draw Edward to you in the first place. So we keep those and amp up the sexy."

"But I don't know how to be sexy Alice." I didn't. It was something I had never thought about. Awkward and clumsy didn't scream sexy to me.

"Trust me it won't take much. And you won't have to do anything blatant. You are not that good an actress anyway." She grinned evilly and I rolled my eyes.

"Edward is already burning up when you are around, now we add the gasoline and watch it turn into an inferno."

I looked at her skeptically. How could _I_ seduce Edward? I was so plain and boring how could he ever really see me like that? I heard a deep sigh and looked over to see Alice shaking her head at me. My doubts must have shown on my face.

"Bella I think the time has come to stage an intervention. As your best friend I think there are some truths you are going to have to face. Come over here."

She dragged me over to a large full length mirror and stood me in front of it. She stood shoulder to shoulder with me, her hands on my arms. She caught my eye in the mirror and locked me in her gaze.

"You seem to think that you will never be beautiful enough or sexy enough or simply _enough_ for Edward. I am going to tell you all the reasons you are wrong and you are going to stand there and listen. Got it?" I nodded my head mutely.

"First of all, Edward loves you. You. He is completely, utterly, irrevocably in love with you for all of eternity. Every single day of eternity. To him you are the most beautiful woman in the world. To him there will never be another woman who could ever stand next to you and not be in your shadow. In over a hundred years you are the only woman that he has ever wanted to be with. Think about that. With everywhere he has been, everything he has done, every beautiful woman he has ever seen, you are the one that he chose. You are the one whose beauty called out to him. It will always be you. Forever."

I stared at Alice's reflection in the mirror. I could not speak. I had never thought about it that way; never thought about Edward that way.

"And if that were not enough Bella, you are beautiful in your own right. You just don't see it. And that is something that Edward loves about you. That you can be so completely lovely and not even know it." I looked at her skeptically for a moment and she huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Look at yourself in the mirror Bella and I will tell you what I see, what Edward sees." She raised her hand to my hair and pulled it from its ponytail, spreading it around my shoulders like a cloud.

"Your hair is gorgeous. Soft and silky and thick. It smells amazing and I have seen how he runs his fingers through it. I know he loves your hair."

She grabbed my by the chin to look into her face.

"You have the most beautiful big brown eyes. You could drown in them they are so deep. Your skin is the color of fresh cream and is so flawless. And remember that I have better than average eyesight so when I say flawless it means something completely different." I blushed at the compliment.

"And that blush makes your skin even more perfect. I know you hate it because it reveals so much about whatever you are feeling but I know that Edward is completely entranced by it." I remembered all the times he told me that he loved my blush and realized she was right.

She moved to stand behind me and placed her hands on my hips. She was not tall enough to look over my shoulder so she leaned around me to meet my eyes in the mirror.

"You have a very nice figure. You are so slender and delicate and I know that Edward loves that about you too. How delicate you are. He has to control himself because you are so breakable but I know that he loves your daintiness. Look how long your legs look in that dress. I know from prom how much Edward likes your legs. The rest of you is so proportional and it all just comes together to make one very stunning whole."  
She moved around so that she stood in front of me and waited until I met her eyes.

"You. Are. Beautiful. Inside and out. All the beautiful things on the outside are emphasized by all the wonderful things on the inside. You are smart and funny and sweet and caring and terrific. Edward loves all those things about you and you need to learn to love yourself Bella. Become more confident. Confidence is sexier than anything you can find at Victoria's Secret. Stop dismissing it when Edward compliments you. That is just another way for him to express how much he loves you. So chin up, beautiful girl, you have a totally hot guy panting after you and we are going to send him on a merry chase. Okay?" She looked at me to see my reaction to her words.

I felt tears welling in my eyes but I willed them back so I could look at my reflection in the mirror. The dress, though subtle, emphasized the curves of my body. I would never be a swimsuit model but I could admit that I had a nice body. I saw how my dark hair brought out my skin tone and my eyes were sparkling in my face. I had a nice mouth and good skin. I was not a supermodel but I had to admit that I was attractive. And Edward thought so too.

Edward thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He had told me that many times but I had never really grasped what that meant. I realized now that he must have met plenty of gorgeous women over the course of his ninety years as a vampire. And as amazingly handsome as he was I am sure that he had more than his fair share of them throwing themselves at him. But he didn't choose any of them. He chose me. He picked me over every other woman he had ever met. I felt a warm glow flow through me that had nothing to do with the blush on my cheeks. Edward wanted _me_. Edward thought _I _was beautiful. I grinned at my reflection and when I caught Alice's eye in the mirror she grinned back at me.

"Ok, ok I see what you mean Alice." I reached over and pulled her into a tight hug. "No one in the history of the world has ever had a better best friend and sister than I have. Thank you Alice."

She hugged me back then released me. "You are quite welcome. Now get out of that dress and let's get you home. Edward can't stand to be away from you for too long. And I need to tell you the rest of the "plan"."

I changed quickly and we bought the dress and left the store. Alice waited until we got into the SUV before filling me in on the details of her scheme.

"First of all we know that subtlety is the key with Edward. If you suddenly started prancing around in stilettos and micro mini skirts he would know something was up right away. So we are going to dress you in ways that seem demure but emphasize all those things I told you that were beautiful about you. Like the date dress. It seems subtle but it brings out your skin and shows off all the right things. You are completely covered but it shows off your curves. And your shoulders and collarbones. And that is your assignment for tonight Bella. Shoulders and collarbones."  
I looked at her dubiously.

"Shoulders and collarbones? What in the world are you talking about Alice?"

"Tonight when you are out with Edward I want you to draw attention to your neck, shoulders and collarbones. When you are talking to him, trace the line of your neck or shoulders with your fingers. Do it slow and with a soft touch. Make it look like you are doing it absentmindedly; like you are not even aware you are doing it. It will drive him wild. You watch and see; by the time the night is over there is no way he will be able to stop himself from touching you."

"He already touches me there though Alice. How is this going to be different?" I could not see how this was progress.

"First of all, the more comfortable he is touching you anywhere the better. Desensitizing as it were. Second we have to move slowly because this is Edward we are talking about and he can be pretty uptight about things as I am sure you well know. And third, no man can resist when a woman caresses her own body, even in a very innocent way like we are talking here. Tonight is about understated seduction. When you are touching your skin all he will be able to think about is how soft your skin is, the way it smells and tastes and how much he wants to be touching you too. But he won't be able to because you will be out in public. So he will have to wait. And the anticipation makes it that much more intoxicating." She stated with confidence.

I could see what she meant. And I would not have to do much so there was less chance of it being awkward. I could do this.

"Ok, I think I can pull this off. Is that all I have to do?"

Alice looked over at me before responding.

"Not quite."

I swallowed before I spoke. "Not quite? What else do I have to do?"

"It's more about what you have to wear to bed." She said tentatively.

"What do you mean?" I was not sure I was going to like this.

"Do you remember those blue pajamas I packed for you in Brazil?"

I could only grin in response.

We had just passed into Forks when Alice spoke again.

"Bella, there is one more part of the plan and I think that it is going to be the hardest part for you." She was looking at me anxiously and my heart beat faster in response. What would I have to do?  
She heard my heartbeat increase and broke the silence.

"It is nothing _too_ terrifying but you are going to have to be bolder than you have been in the past."

"What do you mean? What do I have to do?" I asked with trepidation.

"You are going to have to help Edward touch you. Tonight, when he kisses you and it gets a little "hot and heavy" so to speak, you need to take his hand and place it on your breast."

I felt the blood rush out of my face and then surge back in until my entire face felt as though it was on fire. God, would I be able to do that? I wanted to but I had no idea if I could be that bold. And what about Edward? How would he react? What would he do? I felt dizzy for a moment and realized that Alice was trying to get my attention.

"Earth to Bella. Wake up Bella. Look, don't worry. It will all work out fine. And no, you will not be having sex tonight. But you have to break the touch barrier sometime and you know that Edward would never be the one to do that. You are going to have to take charge tonight. And really you are going to have to take charge during this whole process. You just have to let Edward think he is the one who is making all the moves. If you can get him to touch you tonight it will be a major breakthrough and you can get started on really breaking some barriers."

"I _want_ to break some barriers Alice, but God, I can imagine the look on Edward's face if I do that. What will he think of me?"

Alice just laughed at me. "Bella, trust me, he wants to touch you too. But he is too much of a gentleman to do it. If you are the one to initiate contact he will have fewer qualms about it. And knowing that you will not actually have sex can help cut down on the jitters you are probably feeling. And keep you from feeling the disappointment when he pulls away. And unfortunately he will. But this is only step one. After this it will be a lot easier. I promise."

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to break down the walls that Edward had built up. I needed him to show me that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I would have to find a way to get over my nerves and just do it.

"Ok Alice, I promise to try. That is best that I can do."

"Alright if that is all I can get I will take it but Bella, remember this is as much for your own good as Edward's. Pushing these boundaries will ultimately strengthen your relationship. So when you try, try as hard as you can, okay?" She looked at me with a serious expression.

"I will, I promise. And thanks a lot Alice. I knew that I could count on you to help me with this." I said. It was true. There was no one else I felt comfortable discussing this with. I knew that Alice would always have my best interests at heart.

"Ok we are nearly home. It is noon. I will give you four hours to relax before you are mine again. Try not to spend them _all_ with Edward. We should build up some anticipation for tonight so he is even more eager to have you to himself. So spend some time with Emmett and Jasper or with Esme until it is time to get ready."

"Alright that sounds like a plan. Do you know where he wants to take me tonight?" Of course she knew. She would have seen it as soon as he made the decision.

"I do and I am not going to tell you. You will enjoy it though so don't pout. Edward loves to surprise you and you need to be a little more gracious about it. It is something that gives him pleasure."

I grumbled and agreed. There was nothing I could do about it anyway so I might as well accept it with as much good grace as possible.

We pulled up into the garage and took the shopping bags into the house. Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the couch in the living room and looked up as we walked in. Jasper's gaze went immediately to Alice and there were no words to describe the tenderness in his eyes. Alice stepped over to him and placed a soft kiss on his cheek then looked deeply into his eyes. I had to turn away from the intimacy of the moment. I looked over to see Emmett smirking at me.

"Belly! Welcome back. I see Alice roped you into more shopping but I am digging your new 'do."

I could help but laugh. "Belly? Really? Thanks Emmykins." I said sarcastically.

Jasper burst out laughing and I saw the gleam in Emmett's eye.

"How about Belly Button then?" Emmett said laughing.

I giggled. "Yeah that one is _so _much better Emmypoo."

Emmett's eyes widened and he burst out laughing.

"Alright Belly Bean, come over here and let me kick your ass on the Xbox."

I walked over and Jasper scooted to the side so I was sitting between him and Emmett. I looked around.

"Where is Edward?" It was strange that he did not come out to greet us when Alice and I got home.

"He said he had some errands to run before your "date" tonight." Jasper said. "You guys sure are going backwards. Having your first date after all this time." I looked at him and he was smirking.

"It seems that way doesn't it? But the only "date" you can say that we have been on is when he saved me from those men in Port Angeles and then insisted I eat something. Not quite what a girl expects from her first date. And I know that Edward loves this kind of thing." I shrugged.

"So are you going to put out on the first date, Bella Butt?" Emmett asked innocently.

"Emmett!!" I felt my cheeks burn scarlet.

"What!?" He said, eyes wide. "It is just a question. Why are you so defensive? Unless you _were _planning on turning in your v-card tonight? Hmmm?" He asked with a gleam in his eye.

"I am not planning on turning in anything tonight Emmett. Not that it is your business in any way, shape or form. Geez, like I would _ever _discuss my sex life with you!" My cheeks were still burning and I knew I looked like a tomato.

"Aww, come on Bellywelly, I would share with you!" Emmett said.

"Eww, Emmett. Just eww. Like I want to know what kinds of things you and Rose get up to! No way, bub. And there is no way I would share with you either so just drop it." I said, exasperated.

Emmett sighed deeply and turned back to his game. "Try to open up to people and this is what happens." He grumbled.

I felt a warm wave of tranquility and looked over at Jasper and found him smiling slightly at me. I mustered up a large dose of brotherly affection and aimed it at him. Jasper's eyes widened and he gave me a big smile. Probably the first real smile I had ever seen from him.

He leaned towards me. "Thanks sis." He said quietly. He gave my hand a quick squeeze and still smiling went upstairs to find Alice.

Emmett and I played Xbox for an hour before I had to give up in defeat. My reflexes were just too slow to match Emmett's no matter what game we played. Esme had wandered in while we were playing and sat next to me on the couch. Alice and Jasper had come downstairs and were wrapped up in each other on the loveseat. I offered the game controller to Esme and was shocked when she actually took it, smiling slightly. Emmett let out a soft groan and Alice and Jasper laughed. I didn't understand their reaction until I saw Esme beat Emmett in every single game they played. I stared at her in shock when Emmett threw the game controller down and stomped out of the room. She saw the look on my face and laughed out loud.

"There are a lot of hours in the day to fill up when you don't sleep, Bella." She said.

"You are officially the coolest mom ever Esme." I said. She gave me a bright smile.

Alice wanted to watch a movie and everyone put in their opinion about which one they wanted to see. I sat, curled into the arm of the couch, not caring which one they put in. As soon as the opening credits of the movie started to roll I felt my eyelids start to droop and I knew I was crashing from my caffeine binge this morning.

I woke up to see the closing credits of the movie moving up the screen. I was no longer leaning on the couch but instead I was wrapped in a soft blanket and sitting on Edward's lap, my face pressed against his hard chest. I looked up to see him smiling down at me tenderly.

"Hi." I said softly.

"Hi." He said back just as softly.

"Did you get your errands finished?"  
He smiled. "Yes, thank you. And you? Did you have fun with Alice today?"  
I felt my cheeks pinken as I recalled everything Alice and I had discussed today. Edward's eyebrows rose at my blush.

"Yes, we had a good time. Lots of girl talk. And shopping, because I think that is just inevitable when you are with Alice."

"Hey!" Alice cried. "I do more than shop you know." Everyone in the room turned to look at her incredulously.

"Well, I do." She grumbled and everyone laughed.

I sat up straighter and brushed my hair out of my face.

"I like your new haircut." Edward said, running his fingers through it. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. I caught Alice's eye. She grinned at me and seemed to say "See I told you so" with her eyes.

I smiled back at her before replying to Edward. "Thanks, I'm glad you like it."

He lifted his head and brushed a stray strand out of my face.

"I love everything about you. From the top of your beautiful head to your now-painted toenails."

I wiggled my toes at him. "Thanks, Alice picked out the color. It's called 'Vamp'."

Edward burst out laughing.

We all sat around talking for another hour before Alice jumped up and came to stand in front of me.

"All right Bella, time to get started." She held out her hand to me. Edward stood up with me in his arms and set me gently on the floor, making sure I had my balance. He bent and kissed me softly on the lips before releasing me.

"Have fun, love." He said, giving me his crooked grin.

I rolled my eyes and allowed Alice to drag me upstairs to her bedroom. She practically pushed me into the bathroom, reminding me to shave my legs, before closing the door behind her.

I quickly got in the shower, letting the warm water relax my muscles. I needed this. Alice and I had talked about a lot of things today and the shower helped calm me down. I shaved my legs as bidden and got out of the shower. Alice had left a soft bathrobe for me and I put it on and went out into the bedroom.

Alice spent the next hour and a half fixing me up. She would not allow me to look at myself while she worked. She applied my makeup and put my hair up on top of my head, cursing softly at how many pins it took to keep the heavy mass of hair up. She brought me a black lace strapless bra and matching panties to wear and left me so I could dress. She warned me not to look at myself in the mirror until she got back. The expression on her face spoke of dire consequences if I disobeyed.

I quickly put the undergarments and my dress on. When I felt it slide over my skin I felt the same feelings I'd had in the dress shop. I felt more elegant than I had ever felt in the past. I put on the shoes Alice had given me to wear. They had a low heel, only about two inches, and had delicate straps that crossed over my toes and around my ankles. I practiced walking in them while I was waiting for Alice to come back. I was gratified when I saw they were surprisingly easy to walk in and also felt comfortable on my feet.

Alice knocked on the door and quickly came in and closed it behind her.

"Oh Bella you look amazing! I knew you would! Ok now you get to see what you look like." She grabbed the large cheval mirror that she had turned around earlier and brought it over and placed it in front of me.

I was shocked by the woman in the mirror.

She had an elegant mass of dark curls on her head and bangs that swept softly across her forehead. Her make up was a study in understated drama. Her eyes very subtly smoky, making them seem brighter and more sparkling. She had just a hint of blush and pink lip gloss. The dress she was wearing softly hugged her curves and the neckline of the dress combined with the up-do made her neck seem longer and more graceful.

I giggled when I realized I had been thinking about myself in the third person. The beautiful woman in the mirror was _me._ I felt for the first time like I could stand beside Edward and be his equal.

"Thank you Alice." I breathed. "I feel so beautiful."

"That's because you are silly. Now let's go downstairs. Edward is waiting for you."

I felt my breath quicken in anticipation. I realized I was actually excited to be going out.

Alice pulled open the bedroom door and quickly looked left and right. Apparently satisfied that no one was lurking in the hallway she motioned for me to follow her out. Before we came to the top of the stairs she called out downstairs.

"Ok we are coming down now. Turn around and stay out of my head!" She waited a moment before pushing me softly towards the stairs. I got a sense of deja-vu when I realized that we were playing out the same scene we had done for prom.

I felt butterflies fill my stomach as I walked to the top of the stairs and looked down. Edward had his back to me and I saw that he was wearing a dark jacket and dress pants. The cut of the jacket emphasized the line of his shoulders and his beautiful hair was in that same amazing disarray I loved.

I carefully made my way down the stairs, watching each step to make sure I didn't fall. As I reached the bottom I looked up and saw Jasper and Emmett standing off to the side. Jasper grinned at me and gave me a thumb's up and I heard Emmett let out a low whistle. I blushed and smiled back.

"Ok you can look now Edward." Alice said.

No sooner than the words were spoken, Edward spun around and looked at me. His eyes widened and he stared at me, eyes roaming over me. I took the time to do the same thing to him. He was wearing a narrow black tie and a blindingly white shirt under his dress coat. He looked so elegant I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and never let him go.

He finished his perusal and captured my eyes with his.

"I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life." He said with quiet sincerity. His words were so similar to Alice's in the dress shop and I realized that he meant them whole-heartedly.

I blushed under his regard. "Thank you. You always make me feel that way. You look amazing too."

He gave me his crooked grin and gallantly offered me his arm. I smiled and looked up at him, conveying with my eyes all my love for him and blinked when I saw a bright flash in the corner of my eye. I looked over to see Esme lowering a camera.

"You both look so wonderful. I hope you have so much fun tonight." She said.

I looked back at Edward who had a small smile on his face.

"Speaking of, where are we going tonight?" I asked.

"Ah ah ah, that is a secret, my love." Edward said, grinning at me and drawing me out of the house. He led me down the stairs and I saw his Vanquish parked out front. I raised my eyebrows at him and he smiled.

"A special occasion calls for a special car. It would be an insult to how beautiful you look tonight for you to be seen in anything other than a car like this."

My lips twitched but I managed to keep from giggling. Only Edward would think of something like that.

I allowed him to help me into the low-slung car and before I could manage to get my seatbelt buckled he was around the car to the driver's side and sliding inside.

We backed out of the driveway and drove down the lane to the main road.

"Where are we going?" I asked again.

Edward hesitated for a moment and looked over at me.

"Port Angeles. I wanted to try to recreate the best part of our first "not-quite-a-date" date if that is agreeable to you?" He seemed nervous of my reaction.

"Oh! I'd like that very much. It would be almost like starting over again, only better." I thought it was a very sweet idea.

The tension seemed to melt from him. "That is what I thought too. Go back to where it started and do everything right this time." He smiled and took my hand, raising it to his lips and staring deeply into my eyes. I felt my mind go fuzzy and my breath stopped. I snapped myself out of his gaze and took a deep breath.

"Dazzler." I grumbled in mock irritation.

Edward laughed. "The feeling is mutual I assure you, my love."


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N I have posted an outtake to this story called Forgiveness. It is Bella and Edwards arrival in Denali from Jasper's POV. What was he thinking when he knew he would be reunited with Bella for the first time since her birthday? Read it and tell me what you think!**

Edward

As we sat together on the couch I could not seem to keep my hands to myself. I had to touch her skin, her hair. I needed the reassurance that she was here with me, that she was safe. I ran my fingers through the silk of her hair, brushed my fingers across the satin of her skin. I laid my hand on her leg and felt her startle. When I looked into her face I noticed a slight frown marring her lovely features and wished again that I could hear her thoughts.

"What's wrong?" I said in a whisper.

"Nothing really. I just remembered that I really need to take a shower and change my clothes." Her cheeks turned the delightful shade of pink that I loved so much and I could not help but grin at her.

"You are beautiful no matter what you wear, silly girl. But if you want a shower go ahead. I am sure Alice can find you something to wear." I looked over to Alice for confirmation and she smiled.

_I have just the thing Edward._

"Oh yes Bella, I have plenty of things for you to wear. Come on. Let's go upstairs and I will get something for you while you shower."

Alice moved to stand in front of Bella and taking her by the hand pulled her into a standing position. They moved to the stairs and Bella followed Alice's sprightly step with a more sedate one.

I watched her go and instantly felt her loss. I looked over at Jasper and he was smirking at me.

_It doesn't really get any easier to watch them walk away, man. But it makes it that much sweeter when they come back. _He gave me a sly grin and I smiled back.

I could only handle sitting downstairs for another fifteen minutes before the need to see her again overwhelmed me. Jasper just shook his head at me as I got up and went towards the stairs. Tomorrow I would give her more space. Tonight I needed her presence. It had been a long day and I felt calmer when she was around me.

When I reached my room I did not hear the shower running and assumed that she was dressing. I was standing in the middle of the room when I heard the knob turn and the door open. I looked up and time stopped.

Bella walked out of the bathroom, a cloud of fragrant steam rolling out in front of her. Her sweet scent mixed with her shampoo permeated the air and sent my senses reeling. She was clad only in a white towel that stopped mid-thigh. Her skin was flushed pink from the hot water and looked so soft and warm I felt my body respond instantly. I wanted her. I needed her. Lust filled my mind and overrode my logic. I had to have her. I stared at her, our eyes locked together, and saw the same yearning in her eyes. I could smell the sudden bloom of her arousal and I drew the sweet smell deep into my lungs. It pushed every thought from my head. Every thought except her. I moved towards her, ready to claim her as my own and she step towards me, her eyes echoing the longing in mine.

"Bella!" Alice's voice pierced the edge of my consciousness. I froze where I was. I could hear Alice's thoughts as they pushed the haze of desire from my brain.

_Edward! You have to stop! There is no way either of you are ready for what I just saw in your future. Go downstairs and let Jasper calm you down._

I didn't move. I was still wrapped in my haze but I could feel rational control slowly coming back to me. I had never felt such an overpowering desire before.

_EDWARD! You need to go downstairs! NOW!_ Alice's thoughts broke me out of my trance and I turned and left the room before my desires could take a hold of me again.

I quickly made my way downstairs and walked out onto the porch. I sat down on the top step and dropped my head, my hands running through my hair. I had to get myself under control. I could feel my body shaking as I tried to bring myself back to normal. I could not believe how quickly the rational part of my brain had been overcome by desire. I'd never felt such a primal force before.

I felt a wave of calm pour over me and looked up to see Jasper standing next to me. He dropped down to sit next to me on the step and put his hand on my shoulder. I instantly felt more composed.

_I know you are probably kicking your own ass right now but everything you are feeling is perfectly normal, Edward._

I gaped at him. "Jasper, I could have seriously hurt her. I have never been so completely consumed by lust like that. It shut down the rational side of my brain totally. I can never lose control with her like that. You _know_ that." I was disgusted with myself.

Jasper felt my disgust and pushed another wave of tranquility on me.

_It is natural Edward. She is beautiful and you love her. Wanting her physically is just another aspect of that love. You have been repressing the physical side of your nature for so long that you are bound to slip up. The problem is that you have _too much_ control._

"Too much control? What are you talking about? If I don't control myself she dies. I don't think there is such a thing as _too_ much control."

_Which is exactly why you were overcome before. You can't suppress everything forever without exploding at some point. You need to let some of your control go in order to become stronger._

I stared at him in bemusement. "I don't understand. How can losing control make me stronger?" It made no sense to me.

_I didn't say _lose_ control, Edward. I said let some of it go. You have set up so many boundaries and you need to let some of them drop. I'll bet you have never even gotten to second base have you? _Jasper was grinning.

"I don't see how that is any of your business, Jasper." I said in indignation.

_That's what I thought. Geez Edward you have _got_ to loosen up. Touching her is not going to kill her, you have proven that._ I rolled my eyes.

_Besides, she wants you to touch her as much as you want to touch her. Trust me, I know. I can feel it rolling off of her every time you two are together._

"Really?" I asked. I could not believe that she felt the same overpowering desire that I did.

_Yes, really. Think about that. Now go upstairs. We can talk more about this tomorrow, when Bella is not around to distract you. _He smirked at me.

"Thanks Jazz. I needed that." I clapped him on the shoulder and walked back into the house.

I was more thankful than ever that Jasper was my brother. He loved to tease me but I knew I could always count on his advice. And I needed some. I needed to know how to control myself better. We definitely needed to talk tomorrow.

I went back upstairs and heard Bella moving around in the bathroom. I turned down the covers on her side of the bed and sat down on top. Bella opened the door and I saw a fleeting look of surprise cross her features. She climbed up onto the bed and curled into me. She draped her arm over my waist and pressed her head into my shoulder. The fragrance of her hair and skin flowed over me. I wrapped one arm around her and traced my fingers over her arm with the other. Her skin felt like velvet under my sensitive fingertips. I could still feel the same yearning for her that I had before but I was in control again. Now the strongest feeling I had was the intense love I had for the glorious creature wrapped in my arms. I was basking in her presence when she spoke.

"I'm sorry about before. I didn't know you would be in here and Alice didn't leave my pajamas in the bathroom for me." Her voice was apologetic and I could sense the blood that rushed to her cheeks. Of course _she_ would feel the need to apologize when it was _my_ fault. I stroked her warm cheeks with the back of my fingers.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have waited before coming upstairs. I didn't mean to catch you in that state of undress." I pressed my face against her damp hair.

"It's okay. It's not like I was naked." I had to use every ounce of willpower I had to crush the images of Bella naked that burst into my brain. I had never seen her completely unclothed but I had seen enough to know that she would be exquisite. I forced my mind back to present time.

"Besides, some of the things that Alice tries to put me in are more revealing than that towel." She laughed softly and I joined her, glad to lighten the mood.

"Anyways, it doesn't matter. So, what did you do today?" She asked.

"You mean before becoming completely panic-stricken when I could not contact you and then angering you with my lack of faith in you?" I said teasingly. It felt better to laugh about what had happened than to dwell on it.

"Yes, before that." She replied lightly.

"Well, after I left you this morning I went hunting and then went to talk to Carlisle."

"Oh, what did you talk about?"

"I took your advice and decided to forgive myself about what happened between us but I wasn't sure how to go about it. So I talked to Carlisle and he helped me." I said in an offhand way, though I felt so much more at ease since talking to him.

"What did he say?" I could hear the curiosity in her voice.

"Hmm, well he basically told me that if I didn't let this go it would poison our entire relationship. And that I needed to focus on us now-right now-and let everything else go. He pointed out all the ways that we have both grown and changed and that even though it hurt us both so much, our separation has actually strengthened our relationship. That there will always be things that remind us of that time but that we should use those things to remind us how much better we are together than we are apart."

Bella's expression was one of shock. Then a slow smile began to form. She startled me when she raised her voice and spoke.

"Carlisle, you are officially my new favorite person!"

I heard Carlisle and Esme laughing in the study and Emmett's booming laugh echoed through the house. Alice and I had the same thought at the same time and called out in tandem.

"Hey what about me?!" We both said in feigned indignation.

Bella shook as laughter overtook her small frame. I loved the sound of her unrestrained laughter. Her joy filled me with joy. Even after all this time and everything we'd had to endure to get to this point I could not believe that this captivating woman had chosen me. And continued to choose me. I had never felt such happiness, even from what I could remember of my human life.

I had distanced myself from my vampire family over the last decades. It was not a completely conscious decision; everyone had always been so wrapped up in their significant others that I had kept away to allow them time to be together. I could see now that I had been losing some of the humanity that I had clung so desperately to all those years. Being with Bella had opened me up, had unleashed all those pent up emotions and they had completely overtaken me. I was filled with so much love and contentment. I could understand now why my family said I had changed so much. Never before had I been so unrestrained with my love and affection. And I had Bella to thank for that.

I stared down into her eyes as her laughter died down. I could not help the tender smile that formed across my face. Bella read my expression and looked up at me with such love and adoration that I was swept up in a wave of joyfulness. I bent and kissed her soft lips, hoping to convey all the devotion I felt to this amazing woman.

I lifted my head and she nestled closer into my embrace. I began to hum to her and she quickly fell asleep.

I stared down at her as she slept, her features peaceful. Much as I did every night while she lay sleeping in my arms I whispered my love to her. I told her how empty my life had been before I had met her and how I had never even realized it. How my heart had been searching for her all these years and how she filled every empty space within me that I never even knew existed. I told her of the crushing despair I had felt when I left her and the overwhelming joy I had felt when I saw her in Rio and realized that she still wanted to be with me. I apologized over and over again for all the pain I had caused her. How I was working to forgive myself like she asked but how I would never forget how much I had hurt her and how I would never stop trying to make it up to her. In the dark I recounted to her how I felt when I realized I loved her and how I would love her for the rest of my existence.

She only spoke in her sleep only once, to murmur my name.

"Edward…" My ears tuned into her sleepy voice. I loved it when she said my name in her sleep, wishing as I always did that I could join her in her dreams.

"Yours…forever…" she sighed.

My chest clenched. Forever. It had such a different meaning to me than it did her. And it had a different meaning to me now than it ever had before. Before forever had meant a never ending string of days and nights, repeating the same cycle I'd been repeating for decades. Now my life was tied to the heartbeat of the woman in my arms. The same crushing pain I had felt when I spoke to Carlisle in Denali hit me. I of course knew rationally that she would die one day. She was human and death was a fact of her existence. But emotionally I knew that I would never ever be able to prepare myself for the day that happened. I knew I would never be able to exist without her.

_You could change her._ The voice in my head said. _Then she would be with you forever. _

'No!' I answered the voice back. 'I can't steal her soul from her. No matter how much I want her with me forever."

_It's what she wants. She has told you that already._

'Because she doesn't understand what this life is like. She doesn't know the horror of what being a vampire is truly like.'

_It's not as though you have ever tried to explain it to her either. You know she is a lot stronger than you have ever given her credit for._

'How can she want this? With all the suffering that comes with this life, how can she want to become what I am?'

_Because she loves you and wants to be with you forever. And you are focusing on the bad parts of your existence. What about the benefits?_

'Benefits?' I scoffed to the voice. 'What benefits?'

_Hmm, how about having the woman you love beside you for all eternity? Knowing that the love she feels for you will last forever. Knowing that you have an unending amount of time to show her how much you love her. Those sound like benefits to me._

I was stunned. I had never looked at it that way before. I had always been focused on how much I would be taking from her. Of how much she stood to lose by choosing to be with me as a vampire. And I would be taking so much from her. Her family, her friends, the ability to have children.

_But you would be giving her what she wants…you._ The voice replied to my inner musings.

'How can that be enough? How can I ever be enough to take the place of everything she has ever known?'

_If your positions were reversed would she be enough for you, enough for forever?_

'Of course she would be.' My reply was immediate and automatic.

_Then there is your answer, isn't it?_

I was staggered. The answer was so simple and so complicated at the same time. I wanted her forever but taking her life was such a selfish act. How could I do that to her? Just for my own selfishness?

I was drawn from my musings by the sun slowly rising, lightening the sky. Another morning was upon us. I could hear the changes in Bella's heartbeat that told me she would be waking soon.

I looked down into her beautiful face as her eyelids fluttered open. She was so endearing, her eyes soft with sleep. She smiled at me and tightened her arms around me. Suddenly her eyes widened and she gasped. I could hear her heartbeat speeding up. I looked down at her in concern.

"Something wrong my love?" I asked.

"Uh, no. I just, uh, need a human moment." Her voice was unsteady and I wondered if she was ill.

I let her get up and she moved quickly into the bathroom. Was she alright? I heard the water from the sink turn on and a soft splashing sound. I listened to her heartbeat gradually slow down and her respiration went back to normal. I decided to give her some privacy and got dressed to go downstairs. I heard Alice outside the room.

"Yes Alice?"

_I have some clothes for Bella when she gets out of the bathroom._

I opened the door and she walked in and placed a sweater and pair of pants on the bed.

"Thanks Alice."

She just shrugged and walked out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen. I heard her greet Jasper and then rummage around in the cabinets.

I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked softly.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine thanks." Her voice sounded normal.

"I'm going to go downstairs. I'll see you when you come down." I said.

"Ok, I'll be down in a minute." She said softly.

"Alice left you something to wear on the bed."

"Tell her thanks for me." She said gratefully.

"Alright, see you in a few." I said, turning and walking out of the bedroom.

I moved downstairs and into the kitchen. Jasper was leaning against the counter while Alice turned towards the coffeemaker that Esme had purchased to complete the look of the kitchen.

I could smell the foul scent of burnt coffee beans and water. It assaulted my senses. How could humans drink that stuff?

"Why are you making coffee Alice?"

"Bella will want it when she comes downstairs." Alice replied.

"You know Bella has a low tolerance for caffeine. Why would she want that?"

"I don't know. I just had a vision of her drinking it here in the kitchen." Alice was singing The Battle Hymn of the Republic in French in her head so I knew there was something she was not telling me.

I heard the bedroom door close and soft footsteps make their way downstairs and into the kitchen. Her warm sweet scent hit me before she walked into the room and I looked over to see her smile at me. I took the coffee cup from Alice and walked over to her, kissing her on the cheek before handing it to her.

"Alice said you would want that." I still could not believe that she would want to drink this revolting drink.

She sipped it, looking over at Alice and smiling.

"What would you like to do today, love?" I asked as I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms across my chest. Bella looked me up and down and I heard Jasper clear his throat behind me. Bella sent him an apologetic look but he was singing Dixie in his head so I could not hear his thoughts as he grinned and winked at her.

I was about to ask what was going on when Alice interrupted.

"Actually Bella and I have an appointment in Port Angeles. We are going to have to leave soon if we want to make it there on time." Alice was still humming in her head and I was instantly suspicious.

"An appointment for what?" I asked.

"An appointment at a salon. Bella needs a haircut before we start school and I want us to get a manicure and a pedicure too. We are having a girl's day!" Alice's voice reflected her delight.

_This is the last time we get to have a day together before school starts Edward. Don't ruin it!_

I looked at Bella and she was nodding in agreement with Alice.

"Oh, I thought we might spend a little time together before you have to go home." I had been hoping to go to the meadow today to spend some time with her.

"I want to have a little one on one time with Alice. She is my best friend after all." Bella said. I had to remind myself that I had promised I would give her space today. But I was still disappointed.

"Why don't you and I do something tonight, just the two of us?" Bella said, shocking me.

What did she mean? A date? I was filled with excitement at the thought. Bella and I had never had a real date.

"Like a date?" I asked in confirmation.

"Yes, like a date." She answered and I could not help the joyful smile that crossed my face. She grinned back at me in return.

"We have never really been out on a real date before. It might be fun." She said.

I knew instantly where I wanted to take her and Alice gasped behind me as a vision formed in her head.

"Well if guys are going out on a date tonight we really have to get to the salon. Come on, Bella. Go get your shoes on so we can go." She dragged Bella from the room and pushed her upstairs.

_You guys are going to have so much fun tonight!_ Alice thought. _And us being out today will give you time to talk to Jasper. Rose and Emmett are going to be gone until eleven. I suggest that you be finished with your "talk" by then or Emmett will torment you for the next fifty six years about it._

"Thanks Alice." I replied. I waited for Bella to come downstairs with Alice.

She had barely made to the bottom step before I swept her into my arms and kissed her. Her fingers moved into my hair and gripped it in her tiny fingers.

Alice cleared her throat behind us and Bella slowly pulled away from me. I could not help the thrill that sparked through me when I saw her slightly dazed expression. I was delighted that I could cause that reaction in her. She saw the look in my eye and her expression turned mischievous. Suddenly she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed me, taking my bottom lip in her mouth and grazing it with her teeth. I was filled instantly with the same desire I'd felt last night. Before I could gather my thoughts she quickly turned towards the door.

"See you later!" She sang out sweetly.

I was still in a daze when I heard the sounds of Alice's and Bella's giggles in the garage.

_Come on Edward, let's go hunt._ I had forgotten that Jasper was in the room.

_You need to burn off all that energy before you kill me with it. _He thought lightheartedly.

"Alright, let's go." We made our way out of the house and easily leapt over the river. We ran through the woods exuberantly, rough housing with each other, dodging around trees and leaping over rocks. Jasper ran ahead of me. I caught up with him easily, pushing him to the side. He crashed into a tree, knocking it to the ground with a loud crash before leaping up and chasing after me. He caught up with me and leapt onto my back, dragging me down to the ground. We wrestled, pinning each other several times before calling it a draw. We sat on the forest floor laughing at each other before catching the scent of elk in the air.

By unspoken agreement we got up and ghosted toward the herd. The warm smell of their blood and the beat of their hearts _thrump thrump_'ed through the woods. I closed my eyes and let my other senses expand, allowing my instincts to take over. With out conscious thought my body moved towards the intoxicating aroma of their blood. Jasper moved with me, our footsteps silent through the undergrowth. We found the herd in a small clearing, some drinking from a small creek that trickled through the woods. Jasper moved stealthily to the other side of the clearing. I chose my target and leapt, my body uncoiling like a spring as I took my quarry to the ground. My teeth bit cleanly into the hot flesh of the elk's neck and I drained it, feeling the warm blood gush down my throat, soothing the burn as it went. I drained another before disposing of the carcasses. I left the clearing and sat down on a large boulder. Jasper joined me after a few moments and I could feel the contentment radiating off of him.

"So are you ready to talk about you and Bella yet?" He asked, breaking the silence.

I sighed. I was not comfortable with these types of discussions but I had to admit that Jasper had a lot more experience than I did and I needed to listen to him.

"I know that I need to so I don't hurt her accidentally. What happened to me last night was an eye opener. I cannot believe how strong that feeling was. It completely overtook me. How do I control that?" I asked. I felt helpless against the feelings that had inundated me.

"First of all, like I said you have _too_ much control Edward. You have such a ruthless grip on your control that anything that challenges it strains it to the breaking point. You have got to let some of that go. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that you have inside. Relinquish some of the discipline that you have acquired over the decades. You have to test your boundaries."

"How? I have no idea how to do that." I said in frustration. I had been suppressing so much of myself over the years that the thought of letting any of it go terrified me.

"What if I can't stop myself?" I said helplessly.

"You have to go slow Edward. I'm not talking about going all the way all at once. I know that you cannot handle that. You have to think in baby steps." Jasper said.

"Baby steps?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"Look I know this is embarrassing but how far have you gotten with Bella?" He asked.

I looked away. "Not far." I said. I could not meet his eyes. "Just kissing. I haven't trusted myself to go any farther." I knew if I was still human I would be blushing. Jasper picked up on my acute mortification.

"Don't be embarrassed Edward. The human body, and the vampire body for that matter, were made to feel pleasure. Sharing that with the woman you love can bring you closer together. Intimacy is one of the best ways to bond. Think about how devoted you feel to her now and you have only kissed. That feeling will only get stronger the more intimate you become."

I could not believe that there was anything that would make me _more_ devoted to Bella. Jasper felt my doubts and laughed.

"I know it seems impossible but you will see what I mean. To do this you have to cross each hurdle one at a time. To start with you have to push the touch restrictions you have set up. You have already proven that you can touch her and not hurt her. So far you have limited your touching to the neck up. Now is the time to go lower."

I looked at him dubiously. "Lower? How much lower?" I was not sure I was ready for this.

Jasper laughed again. "Not _that_ low yet, Edward. Baby steps remember? I am talking about waist up contact. The important thing is to go slow. Touch her and when you feel like you might be out of control of your lust _or_ your thirst then stop until you regain it. Then you continue. You are going to have to talk to Bella about this too. So she knows not to push you too far too fast."

I scoffed at that. "And just how do I bring that up Jasper? 'By the way do you mind if I feel you up? Oh and stay still so I don't kill you?' I can imagine how that conversation would go." I said sarcastically.

Jasper burst out laughing, the sound echoing around the forest.

"God Edward you are so uptight! Chill out man! This is supposed to be about pleasure. If you let your turn-of-the-century hang-ups get in the way you will never be with Bella. She will appreciate the effort. You know she would never do anything to hurt you deliberately. But if you don't talk to her she might push your control too far without even knowing it."

I knew he was right but the thought of giving in to the desire in me scared me. Jasper felt it.

"Don't be afraid, Edward. You can do this. You have to trust yourself. I have never met anyone with more restraint than you. And Bella needs this as much as you do. Every time you pull away from her it knocks down her self esteem. Did you know that?"

I was shocked into speechlessness.

Jasper clapped his hand on my shoulder. "I can see you didn't. But imagine how she feels for a moment. You are kissing her and she is getting worked up, then you exercise that superhuman control and pull away. She is left feeling like she is not desirable enough for you to go farther. Even if she understands rationally why you won't progress, emotionally she feels inadequate."

"Inadequate?! My God Jasper! Are you serious?" It had never occurred to me that Bella felt that way. She was everything to me.

"Yes Edward. She wants to go farther and you push her away, though it is for her own good. You have said yourself that Bella doesn't see herself clearly. She feels like she is not enough for you. That you could never want her as much as she wants you."

"What? How can she not see that she is the most beautiful, most exquisite woman in existence?" I had never met a more beautiful woman than my Bella.

Jasper laughed. "God knows you have told her that often enough but she still doesn't see it. And pulling away from her only reinforces that."

"What do I do? How can I fix this?" I could not have her thinking that I did not desire her. I wanted her with every particle of my being.

"Break down your boundaries." Jasper said. "Touch her the way she wants to be touched; the way you want to touch her. We all need physical reinforcement of our love sometimes. Give in to it. Just go slowly. Only go as far as you can handle. This is going to be a slow process but a gratifying one."

"Thanks Jasper." I was infinitely grateful to have Jasper as my brother.

We got up and started our way back to the house. I had one more favor to ask of him.

"By the way, please don't mention this conversation to Emmett. You know how he is. I don't think that I am ready for the epic amount of teasing that he is sure to subject me to. I will talk to him eventually but right now I can't handle it."

Jasper laughed. "No prob, bro. But you know that you will have to talk to him at some point. Believe it or not I think that there are things that he can help you with. But for now this is between us. Emmett is not known for subtlety and I don't want him to scare you off before you even get started." He sniggered.

We made our way back to see that Rose and Emmett had returned but that Bella and Alice had not.

"Eddie! Just in time to have me kick your ass on the Xbox!" Emmett boomed out.

I rolled my eyes. He knew I hated being called Eddie.

"Not right now _Emmy_, I have some things to do."

Jasper burst out laughing.

"Pansy. Come on Jasper, you and me then."

I left to prepare for mine and Bella's date. I had my suit pressed, washed my car and made restaurant reservations. When I returned home I saw that Alice and Bella had returned. I walked into the house to see everyone engrossed in a movie and Bella curled up on the couch, asleep. Someone had placed an afghan over her, probably Esme. I very carefully picked her up and placed her on my lap. Even the short time I had been away from her today had almost been too much and I needed to touch her. She stirred slightly before settling in against my chest.

I sat holding her in my arms as the rest of the family watched the movie, marveling in the innocent sweetness of her expression. Her dark lashes fanned out across her alabaster cheeks and her lovely full lips were parted softly with sleep.

I heard her breathing change and her eyelids fluttered open. She looked at me with sleep still in her eyes.

"Hi." She said in a soft voice.

"Hi." I replied in the same soft tone.

"Did you get your errands finished?" she asked.

I smiled, thinking about my preparations for our date tonight.

"Yes, thank you. And you? Did you have fun with Alice today?"  
Her cheeks turned pink and I raised my eyebrows. What could have happened with Alice today to cause the blush in her cheeks? I wished again, as always, to be able to hear her thoughts, even if it was only for a moment.

"Yes, we had a good time. Lots of girl talk. And shopping, because I think that is just inevitable when you are with Alice." Girl talk. I could imagine that a conversation with Alice would cause the blush in Bella's cheeks. Alice could tease with the best of them.

"Hey!" Alice cried indignantly. "I do more than shop you know."

Every head in the room turned in her direction, different degrees of disbelief on everyone's faces.

"Well, I do." She groused and we all laughed.

Bella sat up on my lap and ran her fingers through her hair, brushing it off her face. Her sweet scent formed a cloud around me.

"I like your new haircut." She was beautiful as always. Anything she did to herself only enhanced her loveliness. I could not help but run my fingers through the flowing silk of her hair and press my face into the dark mass. I inhaled the unique aroma that was Bella.

"Thanks, I'm glad you like it." She said shyly.

I raised my head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I love everything about you. From the top of your beautiful head to your now-painted toenails."

She smiled and wiggled her adorable toes. "Thanks, Alice picked out the color. It's called 'Vamp'."

I burst out laughing. Of course. Only Alice.

We all sat, talking quietly amongst ourselves for another hour before Alice interrupted me with her thoughts.

_She is all mine now Edward. I have to get her ready for you. _

Alice stood up and came to stand before us.

"All right Bella, time to get started." I stood up with Bella in my arms and lowered her to the floor. I put my hands on her hips to steady her. I could not resist a soft kiss before releasing her into Alice's clutches.

"Have fun, love." I grinned, knowing she hated the hair and makeup part of going out.

Alice dragged her upstairs and I challenged Emmett to a few rounds of Xbox before going upstairs to shower and get ready myself.

As I got dressed I replayed the conversation with Jasper in my head. I knew that he was right, that I had to challenge my control in order to make it stronger. It seemed almost like going backwards. I had worked so hard for so long to perfect it and now I had to let some of it go. But he was right about me exploding if I didn't. I thought back to the feelings that had been coursing through me last night and how close I had been to giving in completely. I _had _given in; only Alice's intervention had stopped me. Baby steps, I thought. Let a little control go at a time. I could do this. I hoped.

I went downstairs to wait for Alice and Bella.

_You look so handsome, Edward._ Esme thought. She grabbed her camera and took a quick snapshot of me.

_Nice bro. _Emmett thought. _You are definitely getting some tonight dressed like that._

I rolled my eyes at him. This was why I did not want Jasper to reveal our conversation to Emmett. If he knew what we had talked about today he would never let me live it down. My virgin status was the source of a lot of hilarity for Emmett.

_Baby steps tonight._ Jasper thought. _You can do it. _

I heard a door open upstairs and then Alice's voice called down to us.

"Ok we are coming down now. Turn around and stay out of my head!" She had been reciting Korean sign language in her head since she took Bella upstairs so there was no way to get into her head if I wanted to but I turned around as ordered anyway. I had a brief flashback to Prom. Alice had made me wait to see Bella then too. I think she enjoyed torturing me with anticipation.

I could hear Bella's heart racing as she took the stairs very slowly. I hoped that it was racing in anticipation for our date. I knew that I was looking forward to it a great deal.

I was looking into Jasper and Emmett's faces when I heard Bella reach the last step. They were blocking their thoughts from me but I saw their eyes widen in appreciation. I was desperate to see my love but was still forbidden to turn around by Alice. Damn teasing pixie.

Jasper grinned at Bella and gave her a thumb's up and Emmett whistled.

"Ok you can look now Edward." Alice said.

I spun around so fast I'm sure my shoe left a gouge in the carpet. Then I could not move a muscle.

She was perfection. I had no words. There were no words. There was no phrase in any of the languages I knew to describe how exquisite she looked.

Her rich dark hair was piled up in a mass of curls on the top of her head with a few tendrils curling around her delicate ears. She had a soft sweep of bangs across her forehead. Her makeup was subtle and emphasized the decadent chocolate of her eyes. Her skin was radiant, glowing in the navy blue dress she wore. The dress was simple but fit her to perfection. The cut of the neckline accentuated the graceful curve of her neck and shoulders and I wanted to bury my face in the crook of her neck. The soft material clung to her shape beautifully and she was the picture of feminine beauty.

I looked up into her eyes and saw everything I would ever want reflected in her eyes.

"I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life." I said softly. The words seemed inadequate to describe the vision in front of me.

She blushed, the soft color enhancing her loveliness even more. "Thank you. You always make me feel that way. You look amazing too." I grinned at her, thankful that for once she did not turn my compliment aside and pleased that I made her feel beautiful. I offered my arm to her and she took it, smiling.

She looked up at me then, so much love and adoration in her eyes I felt my chest clench with the intensity. There was a sharp flash as Esme took our picture and Bella looked over at her.

"You both look so wonderful. I hope you have so much fun tonight." Esme said. _I am going to make sure that everyone is out of the house tonight when you both get home. Privacy is our gift to the both of you._

I smiled slightly, grateful for Esme's thoughtfulness. The last thing that I wanted after a date with my love was to come home to a bunch of over-curious vampires.

"Speaking of, where are we going tonight?" Bella asked. I knew she hated surprises but I was hoping that this would be something she would enjoy.

"Ah ah ah, that is a secret, my love." I smirked at her as I led her out of the house and down the stairs. She stopped short when she saw my Vanquish parked in front of the house. She raised her eyebrows at me and I could not help but smile at the expression on her face.

"A special occasion calls for a special car. It would be an insult to how beautiful you look tonight for you to be seen in anything other than a car like this."

It was. I loved my Volvo but she was much too precious to me to be seen in anything less than the best. I saw her lips twitch but she did not say anything. I helped her into the car and was sitting in the driver's seat before she could buckle the seatbelt. I loved not having to hold back all of my vampire abilities when I was around her.

I started the car, reveling in the warm purr of the engine before backing out and driving down the drive to the main road.

"Where are we going?" She asked again, curiosity evident in her tone.

I hesitated. I hoped that she would like my idea as much as I had. I looked over to gauge her reaction.

"Port Angeles. I wanted to try to recreate the best part of our first "not-quite-a-date" date if that is agreeable to you?" I did not want to remind her of the terrible incident that she had endured but this was something that I wanted to do very much.

"Oh! I'd like that very much. It would be almost like starting over again, only better." I felt the anxiety slide from my body. She understood. Of course she did, this was Bella. I wanted to start over too. Begin our relationship anew.

"That is what I thought too. Go back to where it started and do everything right this time." I smiled at her and felt myself drowning in the depths of her eyes. Her eyes glazed over and her breath stopped for a moment before she shook her self and inhaled deeply.

"Dazzler." She grumbled.

I could only laugh. She had captivated me just as much.

"The feeling is mutual I assure you, my love."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: There is a little bit of pink lemonade in these next two chapters. Not quite a lemon but still pretty citrusy! Enjoy!**

Bella

The drive to Port Angeles was quiet. Edward held my hand and I could not keep from stealing glances at him every few minutes. I could not believe the luck I had, being given this perfect guy. He was always so sweet and considerate and I loved him for it.

I barely noticed that we had even made it to Port Angeles, so engrossed was I with Edward. But I did notice that we were not headed in the direction of the restaurant.

I looked over at Edward to find him smiling at me.

"There is something I wanted to do before we ate if that's alright." He said. I could hear the hesitance in his voice.

"Oh. Okay then. That's fine. I'm all yours." I said, smiling. I was willing to do whatever he wanted if it would make him happy.

He parked the car and leaned over the console to kiss me.

"And don't you forget it." He said, dazzling me with my favorite grin.

"Never."

Edward got out and moved around to help me out. I looked around and realized that we were down by the pier.

"The waterfront? What are we doing here?" I didn't understand why we were all the way down here.

"You'll see." He said, smiling down at me. He took my hand and led me down to the pier. It looked very festive. There were multicolored Chinese lanterns and someone had put up strings of lights all along the pier. There were several long wooden benches and people were milling about or sitting down. I looked forward and saw several musicians seated on a raised platform.

"A concert? Wow, I didn't know they did concerts on the pier here." I said. I had never heard about this before.

"It's something they do for a few weeks every summer. Usually the music is nothing I would want to listen to but I thought that you might enjoy this." He led me over to one of the benches. We sat a little back from everyone else but still close enough to enjoy the music.

"What kind of music are they playing tonight?" He put his arm around my back and I leaned into his embrace. I didn't care at that moment what kind of music it was; I was just happy to be there with Edward.

The director stepped up to the podium and the musicians picked up their instruments and started playing.

I gasped and smiled. They were playing music from the Big Band/Swing Era. I loved the lighthearted and happy music from that time.

"Swing music? My mom loves this. She would play it all the time around the house when she was doing housework. I think she had a thing for Count Basie or something." I laughed, picturing my mother as she would dance around the house, a feather duster in her hand while she listened to this kind of music.

"I'm glad you enjoy it. I had hoped that you would. And Basie was something to see when he performed. He didn't play the music, he became it. It was pretty awe inspiring actually."

I stared at him. I was always amazed when he said things like that. It was easy to forget that he was not a regular teenage boy but instead that he was over 100 years old.

"You saw him play?" I asked in wonder.

"Yes, Carlisle and I went to a concert of his. I think Carlisle had a thing for him too." He smirked at me and I had to laugh.

"I'm going to tell him you said that." I said before turning back to listen to the music.

I lost myself in the music for a while. It was so happy. I hadn't lived through those times but I could imagine it. It seemed so much simpler back then.

We sat there for a long time, just enjoying the music. I would look up at Edward occasionally to find him watching me with a soft smile on his lips. I would smile back at him before turning back to the musicians.

Edward leaned down to whisper to me after about an hour.

"Are you ready to eat now? It might be best to leave before everyone else gets the same idea. I don't want you to get caught up in the crush." I could not help but smile. He was always so thoughtful.

"Of course, let's go."

We made our way back to the car and after helping me inside we started driving back towards the restaurant.

"Thank you for taking me to the concert. Somehow you always seem to know what I will like. I wonder sometimes if you really can't read my mind." I laughed.

"Believe me, I wish I could. A hundred times a day I wish I could hear all the thoughts you have rolling around in that beautiful head of yours." He said wistfully.

"Trust me, it is not that interesting in there." I said. I was sure he would not want to hear all the boring things that rattled around in my head sometimes.

"I know better than that. Just the words you speak are fascinating enough. I'm sure your thoughts would be more so."

His opinion of me was so skewed sometimes and I all I could do was smile and shake my head at him.

We pulled up in front of La Bella Italia a little while later. The last time we were here had been after Edward had saved me from being assaulted by a bunch of drunks on a darkened street. It was in sharp contrast to the happy almost giddy feeling I felt being with him now. Now I knew what he was and he was mine. I felt like I was floating.

I waited for Edward to open my door for me. It had felt a little uncomfortable at first but I saw how upset it made him for me to open and close my own doors so I relented and allowed him to do it for me now. I didn't care one way or the other and it was a small concession to make him happy.

We walked to the front door and Edward held it open for me to go inside. I stepped up to the podium and was relieved to see that there was a man standing there instead of the blonde that had ogled him last time.

The host was looking at me when we came in but I really didn't notice him. Edward stepped up to the podium and spoke.

"Two for Cullen." He said. His voice was low and I could hear the menace in it. I didn't understand it and made a note to ask him about it when we sat down.

The host looked at Edward quickly and I noticed a touch of fear in his expression. Most people were vaguely disturbed by the Cullens without knowing why. I knew why but had never felt uneasy in their presence.

"R-right this way please." The host said and gestured for us to follow him. We weaved our way through the tables and Edward kept his hand on the small of my back. I felt how rigidly he held himself next to me. I looked up and saw that his jaw was clenched and his lips pressed into a hard line.

I looked up at him and caught his eye. His eyes softened a little but he just shook his head and nodded towards the host who had stopped at a table in the back. I realized that whatever the host had been thinking had angered him. I wondered briefly it was about me but then could not help my smile. Edward was always so jealous when he had no cause to be. It was very sweet.

We made it to the table and sat down. The host stared at me as he spoke to the both of us.

"Your wait person will be out soon to take your order. Have a good meal."

"Thank you." Edward said curtly. His narrowed gaze followed the progress of the host and I could not help but laugh at his expression.

"What?" He said, bemused.

"The look on your face. You look like you want to dismember him or something." I said, laughing.

"Humph. Well you did not have to hear what he was thinking about you. You would not be laughing then." He said irritably.

I giggled at how put out he was.

"It is just funny being on this side of things. Usually I have to sit back and watch as every female in a fifty foot radius ogles you."

His eyes went very soft as he looked at me and smiled.

"I only have eyes for you though. I don't even notice anymore. Especially when you are with me."

Well if that was not most adorable thing ever I didn't know what was. I laughed.

"Edward Cullen you have officially cornered the market on 'sweetest-things-to-say-to-your-date'."

Out waiter arrived then and Edward visibly tensed when he was talking to us. I had to assume that he was hearing something he didn't like again. I watched several emotions roll across his face. Anger, disbelief, incredulity and finally exasperation. He rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"Bella, are you ready to order?" He asked quietly.

I looked up from the menu in front of me, already knowing what I was going to order. If we were going to recreate our "date" we were going to do it all the way.

"If we are going to do this right I am going to order the mushroom ravioli. We can share it like we did last time." I was laughing on the inside at the thought of Edward "sharing" my human food. Lately we had been ordering one entrée and two plates to give the illusion that he was eating too.

"Two Cokes and one order of mushroom ravioli please. With two plates." He said to the waiter. The waiter seemed not to hear him so Edward cleared his throat impatiently, drawing the waiters attention.

"O-oh yes, of course. I'll have that right out." Then he turned and walked away.

We discussed the concert while we waited for "our" food. When it arrived I carefully placed a tiny portion on Edward's plate and handed it to him. He spent the rest of the meal pushing it around his plate, giving the illusion of eating.

I looked up at him. "So…tell me more about your younger days. What was it like to live through the thirties and forties and fifties?" I was eager to know everything about him.

Edward began to talk. He told me of people that he had met and places that he had gone. I watched him as he spoke. His whole body seemed to come alive when he was telling a story. His eyes would sparkle, he would gesture with his long graceful fingers and he would lean forward during particular interesting parts.

I decided after his first story that I would begin my "seduction plan". I waited until he began to speak before sliding a finger slowly up and down my neck. I was gratified when his eyes zeroed in on the movement. He continued to speak but I could see that I had his attention. I continued my motions with an absentminded air, nodding appropriately or asking questions about his previous life.

I ran my fingertips across my collarbone and then into the hollow of my throat. Edward's eyes darkened from golden to topaz as he watched my fingers. Alice was right; this was easy. I could see that my actions had a marked effect on him and I didn't feel sluttish or obvious. Alice was a genius. Edward was spellbound by the movements of my fingers.

I continued to touch myself like Alice had instructed. I watched Edward's eyes. When they became too dark I would stop my movements. I would take a drink or eat a mouthful or just sit quietly and listen to his stories until his eyes returned to normal. Each time it took a little longer for them to fade back to gold until finally would only lighten back to a smoky topaz.

Edward was mesmerized. I could tell. His eyes followed the paths of my fingers and I could see his fingers clench and unclench on the table as he spoke. He did not seem to be aware of it.

When the waiter brought our check Edward's eyes were almost completely black and stayed that way. He took the folder from the waiter and thrust some money inside.

"No change." He said curtly.

He stood up and held my chair for me before leading me out of the restaurant. He did not rush me but I could feel the impatience in him. He did not even acknowledge the waiter or the host as we walked out the door.

We made our way to the Volvo and I stood by the door, waiting for Edward to open it for me.

He didn't.

Instead he turned me until my back rested against the door and he placed a hand on either side of me, creating a circle with his arms. I opened my mouth to speak but did not get a word out before his lips crashed into mine.

His lips were so cold and smooth against mine and I loved the way they moved with mine. I reached up and threaded my fingers into his silky hair and ran my nails across his scalp. I felt a vibration in my chest and realized that it was coming from Edward. He was _purring_ like a big cat, like a lion. It was so erotic and I pressed my lips harder to his in response. He dipped his head down and kissed me beneath my ear, causing a shiver to dance up my spine. His cool tongue traced a line up my neck and I could not help but to sigh his name.

He raised his head and kissed me again while his smooth thumbs moved back and forth across my collarbones.

I was vaguely aware of loud voices behind Edward but he must have heard them clearer than I because he raised his head. I was pressed back against the car with the entire length of Edward's body pressed into mine. He stepped back and my knees gave out. He reached out and steadied me before pressing his forehead to mine. We both were trying to catch our breath.

"Wow." It was the only coherent thought I could make.

"Mmm-hmm."

Apparently Edward was having the same incoherency problems because that is all he said for a moment. I felt the flush in my cheeks and Edward ran the back of his fingers down my cheeks.

"I could watch you blush forever." He said softly.

"If you keep kissing me like that you might get your wish." I replied, laughing softly.

"Hmmm, the idea has its merits." He said before bending to brush his lips against mine.

He reached behind me opened the door then helped me inside.

Stage One Complete, I thought.

We drove back to the house, talking quietly. I was amazed, though perhaps I shouldn't have been, at how well Alice's plan had worked. Now I had to put on those pajamas and then somehow convince Edward to touch me in a place that he had never touched me before. Simple. Yeah right.

When we pulled up into the garage and walked into the house I realized that it was much quieter than usual.

"Where is everyone?" I asked. The house seemed empty.

"I believe that they all went hunting."

"Oh, so it is just you and me?" I asked. I was very happy to hear that. I could not see myself being able to pull off what I wanted to do with six pairs of vampire ears listening in.

"Yes. Would you like to watch a movie or something before going to sleep?" He asked. I thought about the rest of the "plan" and was suddenly inspired.

"Sure, but can we watch on the TV in your room? I don't want to nod off downstairs." I hoped that sounded plausible enough to him. It _was_ true. I didn't want to fall asleep tonight without at least _trying_ to do what I had planned.

"Of course. Why don't I pick the movie and you can go upstairs and change into something more comfortable. Call me when you are ready." He agreed like I hoped he would.

"Alright. See you in a minute then." I had to stand on my tiptoes, even in the heels, to reach his mouth and I kissed him before walking upstairs.

When I reached his bedroom I leaned against the back of the door for a moment and took a very deep breath. I was nervous but determined.

I pushed away from the door and walked over to the top drawer of Edward's dresser. Alice had left the blue pajamas right where she said she would and I quickly stripped out of my dress and put them on. I pulled what seemed like a thousand hairpins from my hair and ran my fingers through it. It curled around my shoulders attractively. I turned of the bedside lamp and turned the overhead light off, propping myself up against the headboard.

I called down to Edward to let him know that I was changed and before I could even close my mouth he was at the door.

Frozen.

That was the only word I could find to describe his posture. Only his eyes were mobile, raking me from head to toe. I watched as his eyes darkened. He seemed to unthaw and moved to his closet, stepping out seconds later in a white t-shirt and blue plaid pajama pants. The t-shirt pulled across his chest and I could see the outline of his pecs in it. Yum.

He put the movie in and sat down on the bed next to me. I turned my body into his, placing one hand on his stomach and the other around his back. I laid my leg in between the both of his and put my head on his shoulder.

The movie began playing but I have no idea what it was. Edward wrapped an arm around me and put his hand on the small of my back. I froze for a tiny portion of a second at the coldness of it but relaxed almost immediately. I loved the feel of his hand on my skin.

He began moving his fingers around, drawing intricate patterns on the skin of my lower back. I allowed my fingers to mimic his and traced small circles on his stomach through his shirt. I was fascinated by his abs as they clenched and unclenched beneath my fingertips.

I chanced a glimpse at him and he was staring at me intently. His eyes drifted to my lips and he bent and pressed his lips to mine.

Kissing Edward was magical. His lips, so cool and hard were so gentle against mine. He tasted like honey and cinnamon and _Edward_. His icy tongue stroked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth and sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, allowing my teeth to nibble on it. Edward responded instantly, sliding his fingers into my hair and turning his body more fully into mine. He held me by the back of the head, gently but firmly and I curled my arms around his neck. I pressed myself into him and tunneled my hands into his hair, grasping and pulling. I kept a firm grip on him as I pulled myself backwards to lie on my back. Edward moved with me without hesitation, half covering my body with his.

I pulled one hand out from his glorious hair and ran my fingers up and down his back. Daringly I slipped my hand underneath his shirt and drew my fingers up and down his spine. His muscles moved under my hands and I felt tiny shivers move through him.

He pulled his lips from mine and kissed my neck. I moved my head to the side to allow him better access and he traced a line with his mouth up and down my neck. His cool hands moved to my shoulders and his thumbs worked back and forth across my collarbones.

His lips grazed my ear and I whispered his name. I shivered when his tongue slipped out to flick across my earlobe.

Now or never I thought. Edward kissed me right below my ear and I reached up and took his hand in mine. He did not seem to notice what I was doing as I moved his hand downward to rest on my breast.

Edward stopped what he was doing and raised his head. His expression mirrored surprise at where his hand was located then his eyes flickered to mine. Uncertainty and desire were warring in his expression and I smiled at him in encouragement. I nodded to him to let him know that it was alright and he hesitantly curled his fingers around my breast. The feeling was so amazing that I arched my back into his hand and felt my nipple grow taut. Edward felt it too and gasped.

"It's okay Edward, you can do this." I whispered to him. I knew he wanted this as much as I did but was still uncertain.

"Bella, I-I-don't want to hurt you." He whispered back, still struggling against his desires.

"You won't Edward. I'll show you what to do, how to touch me. It's okay. Please, just touch me." I said. He looked at me and I saw him come to a decision.

He nodded his head slowly and I smiled brilliantly at him.

I wrapped my hand around his and closed them over my breast, showing him just how much pressure he could exert without hurting me. He watched with an adorable sense of wonder on his face.

I released his hand to allow him to touch me as he wished. His long fingers shaped and moved my breast in his hand, sending shivers up and down my spine. His cool hard thumb slid over my nipple and the sensation was so strong I hissed and moved deeper into his hand. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. I had never felt anything like it. He slid his thumb over me again but this time he took my nipple between his fingers and pinched it slightly. A moan escaped me and before I could recover he dipped his head and took my taut peak into his mouth.

I thought I was going to die. It was the most amazing thing I had ever felt. My whole body arched off the bed and my hands fisted in his hair, trapping him against me. He continued to torment me with pleasure at my breast and I was vaguely aware of his hand slipping down my side and up underneath my top. His wintry fingers drew circles on my stomach and then moved higher until they cupped my breast. His elegant fingers moved over my naked breast, massaging and kneading as his mouth continued to move on my nipple.

Boldness overtook me and I released his hair and tugged upwards on the hem of my pajamas. Edward lifted his head and looked at me, a question in his eyes. I nodded to him and he pulled his hand from beneath my top and reached down to help me pull it over my head. He tossed it to the side and looked down at me.

I would have felt self-conscious at this moment if not for the complete love and adoration and wonder that I saw sparkling in his eyes.

He was staring at me like I was a rare treasure and I had never felt more beautiful, more loved than in that moment.

He looked up to see me watching him and I reached for his shirt. If I was topless than he would be too.

"It's only fair." I said, giggling. Where had this bold Bella come from? I thought. Well as long as she was here she should have some play time too.

He sat up from me and pulled his shirt off. I was fascinated by the ripples in his muscles as he moved. He was the perfect specimen of manhood. Taut chest, six pack abs, defined biceps. I could stare at him all day. But right now I wanted to do more than just stare.

He sat back on his heels, watching me and I sat up and adopted the same posture.

I reached out and ran my hands across the hard lines of his shoulders, reveling in the smooth texture. I drew my fingers down his arms and wrapped my fingers around his biceps and forearms. I retraced my path and drew my open hands down his chest, feeling the hard outline of his pecs and the rippling lines of his abs. I looked up at him to see his eyes closed in pleasure for a moment before they opened to stare at me in passion and wonder.

His hands followed the same paths on my body that mine had traced on his. His cool hands floated across my shoulders and down my arms before gliding back up and moving down my chest. They stopped at my breasts and he held them both in his hands, squeezing gently like I had shown him.

I was almost overwhelmed by the feeling and I threw my head back, which pressed my breasts farther into his touch. He bent down to kiss my neck as he continued to fondle me gently. Then his lips made a path lower until his icy mouth covered my nipple.

I swear I almost collapsed from the feeling of his tongue on my nipple. My skin tingled and I felt my breath coming in sharp pants. He nipped and sucked on my tender skin before switching to my other breast and repeating his actions. I felt him gently pushing me down on the bed and I lay back down willingly. His mouth never left my skin and I gripped his shoulders and dug my nails into his skin.

"Oh Edward." I said breathlessly.

He lifted his head from my skin and slid his body upwards to kiss me. His tongue darted out and traced my lips and I could not resist the impulse to touch my tongue to his.

He froze for a moment at the contact.

"Bella, be careful." He said softly. I knew he was worried about how his venom would affect me but considering how much he had used his tongue on me I was not worried.

"It's okay Edward. It tingles a little but that's all. I think it will be okay." I replied. He looked hesitant for a moment before he bent and kissed me again. Our tongues met and danced and I could not believe that I had been missing out on this all this time. He plunged into my mouth and our tongues moved together.

His hands moved up and down my body, seemingly of their own accord. They would stop frequently on my breasts, stroking softly. I copied his actions, allowing my hands to wander across his chest and shoulders. My hand dipped down to his chest and acting on impulse I pinched his hard nipple between my fingers.

It seemed to electrify Edward. He pressed his mouth more urgently to mine and his hands stroked my breasts more firmly, though still not enough to hurt me. I ran my hands up and down his back and raked my nails gently across his skin. He responded with that same lion-like purr and I pressed myself against him, needing him as close to my skin as possible.

Edward wrapped his arms around my back, one hand holding the nape of my neck and the other reaching down to grab my butt. He pulled me tight into his body and for the first time I could really _feel_ how aroused he was. Wow. I could only whimper in pleasure as I felt his body pulse against mine.

I felt Edward freeze for a brief second before slowly pressing me back down into the bed. His arms came from around my back and moved to hover over my breasts. He kissed me in a more gentle way and his fingers were whispers against my skin. He drew his head back and rested his forehead against mine.

"Bella." He said in a husky voice. "We have to stop. I think I have pushed my control as far as I dare to tonight."

Alice had told me that he would stop, that he would pull away and I was grateful for how much he had let go.

I nodded, feeling the brush of his skin against my forehead. "I understand. Thank you." I whispered.

He pulled away from me slightly, looking surprised. "Thank me? I should be the one thanking you." He laughed softly. "Thank you for your trust in me." He lowered his head and brushed a tender kiss on my lips.

"Well thank you for trusting yourself. I knew you could do it." I grinned at him and he groaned aloud and pressed his face into my neck.

"I swear you will be the death of me, Bella." He said, kissing me.

I laughed and he moved away from me then and retrieved my top. Even after all we had just done I was a little embarrassed and put my shirt on quickly. Fortunately Edward did not have the same qualms and left his lying on the floor where he had tossed it.

He got back into bed with me and I moved underneath the blanket before curling back into him. He laughed when I let out a huge yawn.

"Ok, sleep time for the human." He said in amusement.

"I love you Edward Cullen."

"I love you Bella Swan."

Stage Two Complete.


	38. Chapter 38

Edward

We drove to Port Angeles mostly in silence, just enjoying each other's company. I reached over and took her soft warm hand in mine and kept it there for the duration of the trip. She smiled over at me and I felt a wonderful sense of anticipation. I hoped that she would enjoy what I had planned for our date.

We reached Port Angeles in record time and I was thankful that Bella had not taken me to task about my driving. She still hated it when I drove fast and there was no way I could make her understand the exhilaration of speed. It was one of the reasons I enjoyed running so much. And having to drive at normal human speeds felt like swimming through molasses.

I drove straight through downtown and to the east side of Port Angeles. Bella noticed that we were nowhere near the restaurant and looked over at me with a quizzical expression. I smiled at her reassuringly.

"There is something I wanted to do before we ate if that's alright." I said.

"Oh. Okay then. That's fine. I'm all yours." She said, smiling.

I parked the car and could not resist leaning over the console to kiss her softly.

"And don't you forget it." I teased, grinning at her.

"Never." She said, smiling and breathless.

I got out of the car and moved quickly around to Bella's side of the car to help her out. She stood up and took in her surroundings for the first time.

"The waterfront? What are we doing here?" She asked, bemused.

"You'll see." I took her hand in mine and we walked along the waterfront and down the pier. There were Chinese lanterns and white twinkling Christmas lights draped along the sides of the pier and a good number of people wandering around. As we reached the end of the wide dock you could see several musical instruments and their players on a raised dais. Some where tuning their instruments and others flipping through sheet music or simply waiting patiently.

"A concert? Wow, I didn't know they did concerts on the pier here." Bella said in wonder.

"It's something they do for a few weeks every summer. Usually the music is nothing I would want to listen to but I thought that you might enjoy this." I lead her to one of the long wooden benches that had been set up for people to sit on during the concert. We sat on the right hand side, a little ways back so that we could enjoy the music without interruption.

"What kind of music are they playing tonight?" Bella asked as we sat down. I wrapped one arm around her waist and she leaned into my shoulder.

"You'll see. They're about to start." I said, smiling down at her.

At that moment the musician, having received their cue from their director, took up their instruments and began playing a lively tune. I heard Bella gasp next to me and when I looked down at her she was smiling in pleasure.

"Swing music? My mom loves this. She would play it all the time around the house when she was doing housework. I think she had a thing for Count Basie or something." Bella said, laughing. Her eyes were sparkling in pleasure.

"I'm glad you enjoy it. I had hoped that you would. And Basie was something to see when he performed. He didn't play the music, he became it. It was pretty awe inspiring actually."

Bella looked at me in wonder. "You saw him play?"

"Yes, Carlisle and I went to a concert of his. I think Carlisle had a thing for him too." I said smirking.

Bella laughed. "I'm going to tell him you said that." She said before turning to watch the musicians play. She tapped her foot to the music and occasionally bobbed her head, just slightly out of time but it was adorable nonetheless.

This music reminded me of my younger days, while I was still adjusting to my vampire life and learning to live among humans. The times then had been a lot simpler, though the war was still raging. The music then helped people forget about their troubles for a while and just live in the moment. I found the sentiment fitting for Bella and me. Tonight we could forget about everything else in our lives and put all our focus on each other.

We sat there for over an hour as the band played through their repertoire and I leaned over to speak in Bella's ear.

"Are you ready to eat now? It might be best to leave before everyone else gets the same idea. I don't want you to get caught up in the crush."

Bella looked up at me and gave me a soft smile.

"Of course, let's go."

I took her hand and pulled her up. We made our way down the pier and back to my Vanquish. When we pulled away from the pier Bella turned to me.

"Thank you for taking me to the concert. Somehow you always seem to know what I will like. I wonder sometimes if you really can't read my mind." She laughed.

"Believe me, I wish I could. A hundred times a day I wish I could hear all the thoughts you have rolling around in that beautiful head of yours."

"Trust me, it is not that interesting in there." She smiled.

"I know better than that. Just the words you speak are fascinating enough. I'm sure your thoughts would be more so."

She just shook her head, smiling.

A few minutes later we were pulling up in front of La Bella Italia. I opened her door for her and took her hand as we walked to the entrance. I could not help but compare this date to the last time that we were here together. At least this time I was able to open her car door for her, I thought wryly.

This time felt so much different than the first time we were here. I did not have to hide what I was with her now. I was free to be myself and show her all the love that I felt inside. The same love that I had felt the first time we were here but now it was stronger, deeper. I would not have thought that was possible until this very moment. We were starting over, beginning our relationship anew, but on a much more solid foundation that we could build our lives on.

I held the door open for her and we walked inside and I was immediately inundated with the thoughts of the person standing at the podium.

_Would you take a look at _that? _Damn! I need to get me one of those. _

I looked up and growled low in my throat, too low for anyone to hear. The man waiting to seat us was looking Bella up and down unabashedly.

_Man, if I had a woman that beautiful I would never leave the house. Forget that I would never even bother getting dressed again. _His mind dipped then into a rather explicit fantasy with Bella playing the starring role. I blocked out his repulsive thoughts and stepped up to the podium.

"Two for Cullen." I said, menace dripping from my tone.

He immediately snapped his attention to me, flushing slightly. He registered my presence for the first time.

_Whoa that guy is kind of creepy. Better get him seated. He looks like he wants to rip my head off. _He was not far from the truth.

"R-right this way please." He stuttered, motioning for us to follow him.

_Damn, looks and probably money too. No wonder she is with him. Us regular guys can't ever catch a break. I bet I could show her a better time than this guy. Hey babe, ditch the iceman and hook up with me. _He thought.

The thoughts of the host were beginning to infuriate me. I had one arm on the small of Bella's back as I guided her through the tables and the other hand was clenched into a tight fist. Bella sensed the tension in me and looked up at me questioningly. I just shook my head and nodded in the direction of the host. Comprehension dawned and Bella smiled softly and shook her head.

He led us to a table in the back that was close to the one that we had sat at the first time.

"Your wait person will be out soon to take your order. Have a good meal." He said, his eyes never leaving Bella.

"Thank you." I said shortly and he quickly departed.

I was watching him weave his way back through the tables when I heard Bella laugh softly.

"What?" I said.

"The look on your face." She said, still laughing softly. "You look like you want to dismember him or something." She shook her head, smiling at me.

"Humph. Well you did not have to hear what he was thinking about you. You would not be laughing then." I said crossly.

She giggled at my disgruntled expression. "It is just funny being on this side of things. Usually I have to sit back and watch as every female in a fifty foot radius ogles you."

I smiled. "I only have eyes for you though. I don't even notice anymore. Especially when you are with me."

She laughed. "Edward Cullen you have officially cornered the market on 'sweetest-things-to-say-to-your-date'.

Our waiter arrived then and I had to listen to his thoughts as he openly admired Bella as well. Of course she was exceptionally beautiful and I could not blame them for their appreciation of her beauty but they acted as if I wasn't even sitting here! I would have been even more irate if not for the fact that Bella did not even notice. All her attention was on me, a fact that did not go unnoticed by our waiter.

_What does she see in _that _guy? _Our waiter thought. _He is too…pretty. I bet he's gay and is using her as a cover. No _real_ man is that pretty. The way she is staring at him I bet she doesn't even know. Maybe I should slip her my number and then I can console her when he comes out of the closet._

I rolled my eyes. This guy was completely pathetic. I blocked his thoughts before he could spew any more nonsense.

"Bella, are you ready to order?" I asked softly.

She looked up from her menu and smiled. "If we are going to do this right I am going to order the mushroom ravioli. We can share it like we did last time." Her eyes were dancing with merriment. We had found that it was easier to order one entrée and "share" it rather than face questions about why I was at a restaurant and not ordering anything.

"Two Cokes and one order of mushroom ravioli please. With two plates." I told the waiter. He was engrossed with watching Bella and I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"O-oh yes, of course. I'll have that right out." He turned and walked away.

We sat as we waited for our order, discussing the concert. Her food arrived soon after and she looked at me before beginning to eat.

"So…tell me more about your younger days." Bella said. "What was it like to live through the thirties and forties and fifties?" Her eyes were sparkling with curiosity.

I began to tell her about some of the things that I had seen during those times, people I'd met but I soon found my attention divided.

I was being tormented, tortured. I was being brought to the very edge of madness and before I could topple over the edge I was snatched back to sanity. Only to have the same cycle repeated again and again. And the worst part was my tormentor had no idea of the torture she was inflicting.

I watched as Bella took one of her slender fingers and drew it softly up and down her neck as she listened to my stories. She was watching me as I spoke and I was watching her fingers softly caress the skin on her neck. I had to shake myself mentally to be able to finish my story. Fortunately Bella did not notice my hesitation. I continued to tell her more about my past, my facial expressions masking the turmoil that raged within me.

I was mesmerized as Bella traced her collarbone with the tips of her soft fingers. She was enthralled with my stories and seemed to not even notice as she dragged her fingers across her skin. I almost came undone as she drew a swirling pattern in the hollow of her throat. I could hear the sounds of her fingertips as they glided across the satin of her skin. _My_ skin. I had claimed every inch of her throat, her shoulders as my own. I knew every dip, every hollow. I had explored them all.

I knew that when I kissed her on the delicate skin below her ear she would shiver in pleasure. I knew exactly how sweet the taste of her skin was when I would dip my tongue into the silky hollow of her throat. I knew that when I traced the elegant column of her neck with the tip of my nose she would sigh softly and bury her hands into my hair.

I had to resist the urge to draw her into my lap and bury my face in the fragrant skin at the base of her throat. We were in a restaurant for goodness sake. I doubt Bella would forgive me for attempting to ravish her in a public place.

My fingers itched to touch her though. I could feel my body vibrate with the need to feel her soft skin beneath my fingers. Not being able to do so made the torment that much more agonizing. And just when I thought I could take no more, that I would give into the urge to snatch her up into my arms-Bella would stop. She would take a drink of her Coke or a bite of her food or simply rest her hands on the table as I told her about parts of my past. Then after a few moments she would begin again.

I was not sure how I made it through the rest of her meal without completely losing my composure. Every time Bella touched her skin with her fingers I wanted them to be my fingers. I wanted it to be my touch. I wanted to hear her breath catch in pleasure and hear her sigh my name in her sweet voice. I managed to hold on, but only just.

The waiter came to give us the bill in a small leather envelope and I immediately slipped some money into it and gave it back.

"No change." I said brusquely. I needed to get out of the restaurant, now. I vaguely heard the waiter, and then the host as well, tell us to have a good evening but I was not paying them any attention. My focus was on the beautiful woman at my side.

We made it to the car before I could stand it no longer. Bella walked to the passenger side door but instead of reaching to open it for her I reached for her instead. I turned her until her back was against the still-closed door and put my hands on the car behind her, effectively caging her with my arms.

She looked surprised for a moment and opened her mouth to speak but before she could utter a word I pressed my lips to hers.

I could taste the sweet flavor of the Coke on her mouth mixed with the intoxicating flavor that was _Bella_. Her warm soft lips moved with my cool ones and her fingers moved up into my hair, her nails scratching my scalp softly. I could feel a rumble in my chest and realized that I was _purring_. Bella seemed to enjoy it as her kisses became more urgent against my lips. I could not resist the temptation as I bent my head into the tantalizing skin on her neck and shoulders. I kissed her beneath her ear, feeling the shiver that I loved provoking in her. I ran my tongue softly up her neck, savoring the irresistible flavor of her skin. She sighed and whispered my name and I lifted my head to plant a kiss on her swollen lips.

I brought my hands to her shoulders, tracing her collarbones with my thumbs as my lips caressed hers. I could feel the supple texture of her skin beneath my fingers as I traced the line of her throat. I was become more and more lost in her allure by the second.

Loud voices behind me broke me out of the spell that Bella had weaved around me. I realized that I had pressed myself completely against Bella and she in turn was being pressed back against my car.

I stepped back, holding on to Bella's shoulders as her knees seemed to give out. I laid my forehead against hers as I took several unnecessary deep breaths.

"Wow." Was all Bella said.

"Mmm-hmm." I was incapable of real speech for a moment.

She was smiling up at me and her eyes were wide and sparkling. Her cheeks were the luscious pink I loved.

I ran my fingers down her flushed cheeks.

"I could watch you blush forever." I said softly.

"If you keep kissing me like that you might get your wish." She said, laughing softly.

"Hmmm, the idea has its merits." I said, bending to brush my lips against hers.

I reached behind her to open the door to the car and helped her inside.

We had driven for a little while before Bella spoke.

"Thank you for sharing your life experiences with me Edward. I appreciate the glimpse into your past. I love learning about your life. You will have to tell me more about yourself and the things that you have experienced. You know how much I love history." She giggled.

I smiled at her indulgently. "Of course. I think you would have fit in well back when I was human. You are so much more mature than any of your peers and I think that would have stood you in good stead back then. Plus I would not have had to wait so long to meet you." I grinned at her.

She laughed. "Yes an extra eighty or ninety odd years would have been nice but we can start making up for that now."

"I'm looking forward to that." I said, raising her hand to my lips.

The rest of the drive was spent with Bella asking me questions about the various decades I had lived through and I would answer her to the best of my ability. I was still distracted by her. She was so beautiful. That word was not enough. She was so much more than beautiful. Stunning, gorgeous, magnificent; even these were not sufficient. I would have to come up with a new word. She was everything I never knew I needed and everything I could ever want and more. She was simply _Bella._

We pulled into the garage at my house and I got out to open her door for her. I led her into the house and she noticed how quiet it was.

"Where is everyone?" She asked, looking around.

"I believe that they all went hunting." I said. I sent a thank you to Esme for giving us this time to ourselves.

"Oh, so it is just you and me?" She asked.

"Yes. Would you like to watch a movie or something before going to sleep?" I asked. It was too early to go to bed and I wanted to prolong this perfect night as long as possible.

"Sure, but can we watch on the TV in your room? I don't want to nod off downstairs." She said.

"Of course. Why don't I pick the movie and you can go upstairs and change into something more comfortable. Call me when you are ready." In the state I was in I did not need to catch her almost naked again.

"Alright. See you in a minute then." She reached up on her toes and kissed me on the lips before making her way upstairs.

I quickly picked a movie and then spent the next few minutes waiting rather impatiently for Bella to finish changing. Finally she called down to me and I practically flew upstairs.

Only to find myself brought up short in the doorway.

She was trying to kill me. There was no other explanation. Nothing else could account for this.

Bella was sitting on my bed, her back propped up on a few pillows against the headboard. She had taken her hair down and it flowed around her shoulders like chocolate silk. But what had really drawn my attention, what had brought me to a complete standstill was what she was wearing.

Those damned blue pajamas. Did she know what they did to me? The satiny material whispered over her body and the color made her skin luminous in the soft light of the lamp on my bedside table. How would I get through this tonight? I already was hanging by a thread as it was.

I moved into my closet and changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants. I walked back into the bedroom and put the movie in the DVD player. I sat beside Bella on the bed and she immediately curled into me. I felt her soft breasts pressed against my chest through the thin silk of her top and her leg intertwined with mine as she rested her head on my shoulder to watch the movie. I had to close my eyes for a moment to regain my composure. I put my hand on Bella's back and realized my mistake immediately. Her pajama top had ridden up when she wrapped herself around me and instead of silk underneath my hand I felt Bella's warm soft skin. She tensed for only a fraction of a second before relaxing deeper into my arms.

I gently traced a pattern on the small of her back, testing my control. It was surprisingly easier than I thought. Touching Bella had become natural for me and this was no different. At least that is what I told myself.

We watched the movie for a while, though I could not tell you what happened in it. My attention was all on Bella. She started tracing patterns on my stomach through my shirt and I felt my muscles clench from the contact. She looked up to find me watching her. Her luscious pink lips were so close to mine and I succumbed to the temptation they offered.

I could never get over how sweet her lips were. They molded themselves with mine perfectly, moving in synchronization with my own. I slipped my tongue out and ran it across her lips. She responded by pulling my bottom lip into her mouth, her teeth grazing across my skin. I felt my body quicken immediately and I turned more fully into the kiss, my fingers tunneling into the shiny mass of her hair. My fingers cradled her skull, holding her in my kiss and her arms wrapped around my neck. She pressed herself into me and grasped my hair, tugging slightly. Bella leaned back, pulling me with her until she was on her back and I was laying half on top of her. She kept one hand in my hair and the other traced the column of my spine up and down. Her hand dipped underneath my shirt and she ran her fingers across my skin. Her warm fingers sent tingles up and down my spine.

I broke away from her mouth, my lips finding her throat and I pressed open mouthed kisses to her delectable skin. She tilted her head to give me better access and I moved my hands to her shoulders, my thumbs gliding over the skin that had been tempting me all night.

Bella whispered my name as my lips found her ear, my tongue flicking across her earlobe. She pulled her hand from my hair and reached up and took my hand. I was distracted by the sweet hollow beneath her ear and did not notice what she was doing until it was too late.

I felt something soft and warm beneath my fingers and raised my head. I looked down to see my hand resting on her left breast. Her hand was on top of mine, holding my hand there. My eyes flew to Bella's and she was smiling encouragingly. She nodded to me and I flexed my fingers experimentally. She arched her back and I felt her nipple tauten in my palm, pressing through the silk of her top. I gasped at the sensation.

"It's okay Edward, you can do this." She whispered.

"Bella, I-I-don't want to hurt you." I whispered back.

"You won't Edward. I'll show you what to do, how to touch me. It's okay. Please, just touch me." She said, her expression pleading.

I looked into her eyes and saw nothing but trust and love. I decided then that I could do this. I wanted to do this. Baby steps. I nodded my head hesitantly and Bella smiled beautifically.

She wrapped her fingers in mine and closed them around her breast. Her supple skin moved beneath my fingers and I watch in fascination as her skin gave at my slightest touch. I was amazed at the amount of pressure she applied with my fingers. I would have thought it would be too much but she was encouraging me to press harder still with my fingers.

She pulled her hand away from mine and I continued to mold her breast in the palm of my hand. My thumb brushed across her taut nipple and she hissed and arched even more into my hand. Her face was contorted with pleasure, her eyes scrunched shut. She was gorgeous. I wanted to see that face again and so I repeated the motions of my fingers, this time drawing the pert peak between my thumb and forefinger. She moaned aloud and giving into impulse I bent my head and took her into my mouth.

It was amazing. I could taste the sweet/salty skin on my tongue, even through the silk and I rolled my tongue around her taut flesh. She lifted almost completely off the bed, her hands digging into my hair, holding me against her.

Emboldened, I slid my hand down her torso and slipped my hand underneath her top. The skin of her stomach was pure silk under my fingers and I drew soft circles on it before cautiously allowing my hand to drift upwards. My searching fingers found her breast and molded themselves around it, gently kneading as my lips and tongue continued to caress her nipple.

Bella's hands left my hair and moved down to the hem of her camisole top, drawing it upwards. I lifted my head as I registered her intent. I looked into her eyes, questioning her with my own and she nodded, a soft smile playing on her lips. I reluctantly removed my hand from her soft skin and reached down to help her pull the cloth up. She raised her arms and I pulled the top up over her head and tossed it to the floor. I looked back at her and felt all the breath being sucked from my body.

She was exquisite. Her skin was gleaming in the soft light and her hair fanned out like a cloud against the pillow. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled with love and passion. I looked down and saw her bare breasts before me and took a deep unnecessary breath to steady myself.

Perfect. That was the only word that came to my passion clouded mind. Her skin was the color of fresh cream and the peaks of her breasts were rosy and taut. I looked up to see her watching me watch her. Her hands found my shirt and she tugged upwards.

"It's only fair." She said, giggling softly.

I smiled back at her and quickly divested myself of my shirt. I sat beside her, resting on my heels and she sat up in front of me, mirroring my posture.

I closed my eyes when she tentatively reached out to run her hands across my shoulders. Her tiny fingers traced my muscles before trailing down my arms, wrapping around my biceps and forearms. She drew her fingers back up and dragged her open hand down my shoulders, outlining my pectoral muscles before decending lower to the contours of my stomach.

I opened my eyes to see her watching me with the same wonder I knew was mirrored in my eyes. I mimicked her motions, tracing her shoulders and arms before sliding my hands down and cupping her soft breasts in my hands. They filled my palms perfectly, as though made for my hands and I kneaded them gently, using the pressure she had shown me she liked.

She tilted her head back and arched into my touch. Her neck was exposed to me and I bent to kiss and nuzzle it as my hands and fingers worked on her breasts. I kissed lower and lower until closing my mouth once again over her nipple.

Delectable. Even more so now without the boundary of clothes. I kissed and suckled at her skin, nipping at her with my lips before switching and giving her other breast the same treatment. I gently pushed her back down onto the bed, my body half covering hers. Her fingers gripped my shoulders and her nails dug into my flesh as I continued my ministrations.

"Oh Edward." She breathed.

I lifted my head and looked at her. Her lips with parted in passion and I could not resist tasting her lips once more. I traced her bottom lip with my tongue and she surprised me by slipping her own out to touch mine. I froze for a moment.

"Bella, be careful." I admonished softly.

"It's okay Edward. It tingles a little but that's all. I think it will be okay." She said quietly.

I was not completely certain but I had to trust that she would tell me if my venom had any adverse affects.

I resumed kissing her, this time our tongues intertwining. I dipped into her mouth and was astonished at how soft her mouth was. I ran my hands up and down her torso, my fingers stopping over and over at her perfect breasts. She responded in kind, her hands roaming across my skin. Her fingers stopped on my chest and she pinched my nipple and the sensation was so powerful I came undone.

All the passion I had been holding in erupted and I pressed fervently against her mouth, my fingers stroking and pulling at her breasts. I rolled so that my body almost completely covered hers, my mouth ravaging hers. She ran her hands up and down my back, her nails scratching at my skin. I felt the same rumble in my chest as before and she responded to the purring noise with greater passion, molding her breasts against my hard chest. Her skin was so hot against my icy flesh and I wanted to draw her closer. I felt myself falling over the edge of my control as I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her up off the bed. One arm cradled the nape of her neck and the other snaked down to grasp her bottom, pulling her into me. She felt my very aroused state and whimpered into my mouth.

The sound brought me back to a semblance of reality. Baby steps, I thought. I was ready to take her then and there and knew I had to get myself back under control. Neither of us was quite ready for the next step.

I gently released my grip on her, lowering her back to the bed and keeping our chests flush against each others. I pulled my hands from around her back and rested them on her soft firm breasts. I was amazed at how natural it felt to put my hands on her where just a few days before I would have balked at even the thought of touching her, much less seeing her topless.

I gentled my kisses while I continued to stroke her skin softly. Eventually I drew my lips from her and rested my forehead against hers. We were both breathing heavily and it took me a few moments to regain control of myself.

"Bella." I said when I finally found the ability to speak again. "We have to stop. I think I have pushed my control as far as I dare to tonight."

She nodded against my forehead. "I understand. Thank you." She whispered.

I drew back in surprise and looked into her still-passion-clouded eyes.

"Thank me? I should be the one thanking you." I said, half laughing. "Thank you for your trust in me." I bent and brushed my lips against hers.

"Well thank you for trusting yourself. I knew you could do it." She grinned at me. I groaned and buried my head in the crook of her neck.

"I swear you will be the death of me, Bella." I said, kissing her neck.

She laughed softly, causing other parts of her to shake enticingly. I had to get her dressed again before I lost all of my self control.

I drew back gently and slipped off the bed. I found her pajama top where I had tossed it and handed it to her. She blushed prettily as she put it on and I was amazed again at the paradox she always presented to me. She was innocent and seductive, steel hearted and incredibly gentle, sweetly unassuming and yet confident in her own way. I doubted I would ever understand the enigma she was and I found myself not wanting to. She was perfect, made just for me and I loved it.

I left my shirt off and climbed back onto the bed. She crawled under the covers and curled herself around me again. I laughed softly when she yawned against me.

"Ok, sleep time for the human."

She looked up at me and kissed me gently.

"I love you Edward Cullen."

"I love you Bella Swan."


	39. Chapter 39

A/N : I'm sorry to give you guys a semi-fake out chapter. I wanted to let you know what I am doing with this story. I decided that TCCTE needed some revamping (pardon the pun) so I am reposting it. I decided to take Edward's POV out and post it as a separate story. I think it will flow better that way. I have also combined some of the chapters so that they are longer. Some of them were way to short for my liking.

Thanks to everyone that has been bearing with me to get this story done. I know that it has been eons since I have updated last and I am sorry to get your hopes up this time. But the new material is coming! Pinky Swear Promise!

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. When I first posted it I was so excited that I had written anything at all that I kind of just dumped it out there. I have learned some things after being a lurker and reading so many other great stories and I hope that what I have decided to do lives up to all of your expectations. You guys are really the heart and soul of this website and I love you all.

Okay…mushiness out of the way for now. The new story is called Time Could Cease To Exist REDUX (Bella). Edward's version will follow later after I finish editing it. Links can be found in my profile.

Thanks!


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